comedy – Page 12 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 11/24/10

1) A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to everyone who caused some GREAT BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! Let’s do it again sometime… MEANING next Tuesday at the same time and in the same place. (hint: Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/next to downtown OR 1st & Alameda) Also, better directions for free parking!

2) Give thanks that you don’t have to find all these great shows for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Go to Nobody Likes Onions @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., Come Out Laughing @ The Long Beach Laugh Factory 8PM $12/2 drink min., Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Beer in the Shower: Pilgrims & Indians-Potluck/Stand-up @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9PM FREE, Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv (yeah, I’d actually go to this one).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Like I always have promised, I bring you the best in LA Comedy and now I’m making it even easier to find it on this blog. The Comedy Bureau now introduces “Bureau Approved”, which everything that pasts the rigorous test (i.e. whether I like it or not) of the Comedy Bureau Comedy Standards and features anything from podcasts to webseries to blog posts to clips of people being on the tube. Check it out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAMIE LEE-@thejamielee Tofurkey? Tofuck yourself. Having already been on Last Comic Standing this year, Jamie has been a real gift to LA Comedy this year during her stay in LA (OK, she’s a NYC comic, but, for now is calling LA her home). Currently, she brings her sharp, witty, and charming comedy to homes around America writing for “Ridiculousness” on MTV and can be seen LIVE on “Crash Test” @ The UCB Theatre 11PM Mon. Nov. 29th and the “Conan Showcase” @ The Hollywood Improv 10PM Tues. Nov. 30th. Here’s her website and her twitter for all the Jamie Lee you can possibly handle… and then some.

6) The Comedy Bureau adds yet another rank to its Chain of Command: Head of Karma Police Russell Corona (don’t worry he can’t actually do anything to anyone). Welcome to the Comedy Bureau, Russell.

7) If you have any suggestions, comments, remarks, just want to say Hi to make sure that I’m still doing OK, etc. for the Comedy Bureau, there is an e-mail that you can send them to at thecomedybureau@gmail.com. So simple that you almost don’t have a reason not to do it.

7) Does the Salvation Army do anything for LA Comedy? I don’t THINK SO! Donate to the Comedy Bureau here.

8) If you’ve ever wondered what a comic thinks while going from open mics to shows to coffee shops and bars to various streets to get/write material, follow the Comedy Bureau on Twitter here. I’m pretty sure a small minority only wonders that, but please “humor” me and do it.

9) Tomorrow will be the ONE MONTH mark that the Comedy Bureau has been officially running. I know it’s not “that” impressive, but I just want to thank everyone for has been following this blog/loving read it/supporting the Comedy Bureau/etc. and point out that, ironically, tomorrow has only one or two comedy events to write about. Thanks again everyone, comics and real people alike!!!

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/23/10

1) Just like “Depression-a-palooza”, “Can You Tell If I’m Kidding? Comedy Show” @ The Edge of the Roof of a 13 Story Parking Garage was also a notable failure. None of that matters though as BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is TONIGHT! Well, as much trouble as comedy, japanese snack foods, $2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, and Russell Corona and I can cause… Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown).

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is not only a big one with some KICKASS shows, but it’s also incredibly easy on the wallet (i.e. you won’t have to eat at Taco Bell tonight). Don’t believe me? try Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5/Free for comics, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 8:30PM FREE, HOLY FUCK! ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Liquid Courage @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min, then finally WitStream LIVE @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, and go eat a steak because you can afford it (unless you’re really poor like me and buy food with change).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour HAVE BEEN EXTENDED. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) As I mentioned, Schtick or Treat was one of the best times I had at comedy show, especially since I got to the privilege to perform. If you missed this amazing once-a-year comedy extravaganza, check out all the highlights right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Andrew Dewitt. Andrew posted a video of him opening an “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: Collector’s Edition Box Set” alone in a basement on his birthday… IN 3 PARTS. It’s pretty damn fantastic, check it here. Andrew came up through the stand up comedy ranks in Chicago and now made his way here in Los Angeles performing all around town. Check out his awesome blog Dorksplosion here.

7) As people constantly ask me, “How do I get ‘Tip of the Hat’ from the Comedy Bureau?” I’ll let you know exactly how I run this fancy little operation. Everyday, I check Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr for tweets, status updates, videos, blog quotes, etc. for the best little gems in comedy in LA. Going from Midnight to Midnight in a single day, I make a short list and then, from there, determine who gets the “Tip of the Hat” and is featured here at the Comedy Bureau along with their twitter, website, blog, etc. So, if you want a “Tip of the Hat”, get to tweeting, facebooking, blogging, youtubing, etc. because I’ll be on the lookout (as I slowly realize that I have less and less of a life). Also, any “Tips of the Hat” will be permanently placed in the “Tip of the Hat Archive” which I just created right here.

8) I know you guys love the blog as much as I love writing it, so give me the opportunity to MAKE IT EVEN BETTER by donating here.

9) Back to LIVE TWEETING and actually going out. Check out if my new “Social Network” material works out here.

10) The Comedy Bureau stats: 92 people like it on Facebook, 49 followers on Twitter, and 30 followers on Tumblr. Only 499,999,829 people to take down Facebook, or at least I think so.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/22/10

1) Depression-a-palooza @ my own head, basically, is something you never want to go to. Last night was the first time I didn’t go out in several months and let’s just hope this doesn’t happen too frequently, mostly because drinking alone is never a pleasant experience (i.e. I tweeted, “Apparently, I’m the star of Home Alone 7: It’s Your Own Fault Because You Won’t Try Online Dating. #straighttovideo #diealone #samething).

2) COMEDY CRAWL Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10, Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour @ Largo 8PM $20, Dame Funny @ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $20/2 drink min., What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7PMish, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8:15PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on eastern most side of USC campus/in between dormitories)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour is taking submissions to come to your house/apartment/living space. Just make a 2 minute video and post it on facebook here to have a chance to have Tig Notaro and her friends have a friggin’ comedy show in your backyard/living room/where you don’t sleep in your living space.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is tomorrow night. Last week I gave away cheeseburger shaped cookies and a 15-min. drop in spot. WHO KNOW WANTS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK?!?!? Show up and find out. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

6) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to ANDRÉS DU BOUCHET for this amazing two-part tweet: “@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written "HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).“ Andrés currently and deservedly writes for Conan here in LA. Here’s his site/blog here and then you can follow him on Twitter here. DO IT NOW!!!

7) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau: "Tip of the Hat” Archive and everything and anything that’s “Bureau Approved” featuring everything that’s already been featured so all of you fine folks can find it quite easily instead of digging through all of these posts like I do.

8) I wouldn’t be asking for a donation if I wasn’t currently writing this blog on my bed. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau so we can change this (mostly for a bigger bed).

9) Planning to watch Social Network today, then write 5 minutes on it. Instead of being on the cutting edge with the latest news, I like being “dollar theater” topical, though I may need to start a show at a dollar theater for it to work.

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Post Brunch Update 11/21/10

1) Comedy Garage Thanksgiving Charity Bonanza @ The Comedy Garage was quite simply how comedy inside someone’s garage is supposed to be done. Not to be confused with other attempts at “garage” based live comedy, there were no hints of the inner workings of a comedy club (i.e. matching seats, nicely decorated stage, curtain, etc.) and also none of the pain of spending $15 on cover and having to pay a 2 drink minimum as Comedy Garage is completely free and often has beer to go around or, in last night’s case, FOUR LOKO. Instead of that overwhelming nature of a comedy club, there was a very chill, inviting house party atmosphere with people playing beer pong and enjoying each other’s company on the various collections of chairs and couches huddled around the astroturf-covered stage. One comedian during the show actually commented how the garage would be a high school kid’s dream with all the random assortments of snowmen and plastic penguins with a Gene Simmons mask fixed on it, though there was none of that childish negativity that festered back in high school (or at least that was my experience). In fact, the party goes on smoothly for a few hours before the show to get everyone in the perfect mood for a great live comedy show exceptionally produced by Sean Green, Cornell Reid, and Paul Danke. Despite temperatures dipping below 50, the Comedy Garage proved its great reputation for a “damn good time” with a crowd almost entirely of regular audience members who got to enjoy the likes of Brooks Wheelan, Joselyn Hughes, Alysia Wood, Rob Christensen, and the Comedy Garage gang (Sean, Cornell, and Paul) themselves. The Comedy Garage happens one Saturday a month in a garage in Burbank. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Harry Potter is estimated at a $125 million opening this weekend and runs about 2 and ½ hours long. The more than 20 shows that I listed over this weekend didn’t even come close to equaling half a percent of that total and offered about 10 times the duration of amazing entertainment. Yeah, I know the numbers don’t work out exactly, but it’s worth it more to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-Start with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2 (stand-by only), then go to Chris Fairbanks Stand-up Comedy Special Taping @ M-Bar 6:30PM RSVP at fairbankscomedy@gmail.com, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, then Trick @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE, then Comedy Without a Cause @ Boardners 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Dave Nieker’s 5 Comics @ Flappers Burbank YooHoo Room 9PM $10/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM, $5, then Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) With the frequency and ferocity that the Comedy Bureau has been hitting open mics, I’ve updated the Greater LA Open Mic Map with new spots and added the reviews to each spot, letting you know whether it’s “bureau approved” or not right here. Also, the Calendars section just added the Downtown Comedy Club and Second City Hollywood (though I still haven’t figured out a flash workaround that doesn’t take traffic away from their site). Check that out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ABBEY LONDER. On Facebook, Abbey wrote, “Listen lady– I can’t tell whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl. So when I say ‘what’s this little man’s name?’ and you get alllll offended and say ‘what does he look like a boy or something?’ please know that I don’t care. Also: I made your non fat latte with half and half. Happy Holidays, bitch.” Check her out at the Hollywood Improv tonight at 9PM or, if you really like her, go to the second-to-last of her awesome “Sweet and Sour Comedy” at Genghis Cohen this Tuesday 7PM $5/free for comics. Also, THIS is her badass website.

6) I don’t know how Little Tokyo is still standing, but since it is, we’re going to have another BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC this Tuesday Nov. 23rd @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo). Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. HUGE HINT: I try to not cut off the list, meaning if you get there by 9PM, I’ll get you up. Oh yeah, let’s all go to Holy Fuck!’s One Year Anniversary afterwards.

7) LIVE TWEETING/ME TRYING TO KEEP MY SANITY/CONVINCING PEOPLE I’M NOT GOING TO JUMP OFF THE 4TH ST. BRIDGE nightly, all right here.

8) “Going for donation number 2… Donation number 2, anyone? Anybody?”-The Comedy Bureau Donations volunteer…. if we could afford one. Please donate here.

9) It’s amazing how people always tell me these two things about this blog together. "Jake, I love your blog. It fills a need for LA Comedy.“ and "I’m just waiting to see one or two years down the road when your optimism burns out.” I love all of you too.

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Morning Debriefing 11/20/10

1) Comedy Car Hole @ The Comedy Car Hole has been going for more than 7 years and last night was proof of why. With a tightly run, showcase-style, 90 min. show, the 60+ people in attendance having a great time in the back porch in front of someone’s of garage should give anyone with enough drive, passion, talent, intermittent bits of insanity to build a show wherever they can build one. Doug O. Perkins and Ryan Wise actually make their garage as much of a real venue as they possibly can with comfy seating, a “VIP Lounge”, and a legitimate stage with a legitimate curtain and cleverly built Comedy Car Hole sign. Last night’s crowd, which stuck around even with a slight mist of rain in the air, got to enjoy the likes of Steve Benaquist, Kat Radley, and even Comedy Bureau favorites Lizzy Cooperman and The Walsh Brothers. The Comedy Car Hole is once a month literally in a garage near Santa Monica and is completely free. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) Trinity Open Mic @ Trinity Baptist Church in Santa Monica might sound like one “hell” of an intimidating open mic (OK, the pun was kind of intended). Actually, I have to admit that it was pretty great. All those elements that comedians hate about open mics such as people not listening/caring, the house lights being on or all the light beings completely off, etc. are almost non-existent here. Being in a church basement at 8PM, no one is really being held hostage for the show and thus, people want to listen to what you have to say. As it is a church, you do have to work squeaky clean, but most everything I heard music/comedy/spoken word wise was pretty “secular”. Also, there’s food for a small donation. Though, again, you have to work clean, I’d say this is another “bureau-approved” open mic. Trinity Open Mic is every 1st and 3rd Friday at 8PM in Trinity Baptist Church, 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA.

3) There’s actually a Harry Potter based show that, like it’s filmic inspiration, is sold out and has only stand-by available, but that shouldn’t stop you from some other great shows around town where you won’t have to talk about how you have never read the books and your possible lack of childhood, etc. (is that just me?) Anyways, tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL goes a little something like this: start off early with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand-by only), then go to Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then go to Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then Satuday Night Special @ Flappers-Burbank YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Talent Show @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand-by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Comedy Garage Thanksgiving CHARITY Bonanza! @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM-Party/Show 11PM FREE, then Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow presents the Time Machine Show @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd. and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave. (at Fuller)/6:30PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

5) Kyle Kinane is a comedic genius, another label the Comedy Bureau doesn’t use lightly, ON THE RISE who has been cast in sketches as a rapist and now most recently on Lopez Tonight, a racist stoner. Check it out here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to the one and only Barbara Gray. “@BabsGray Hey guys, what should I eat for lunch? Subway or the barrel of a shotgun?”. Recently, Lionsgate just went with ahead with her short script, and, up ahead, she’s hosting What’s Up Tiger Lily? this week and has her own wonderfully named show Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge coming up next Saturday 11/27. Follow her on twitter here or at her blog here.

7) From one garage with comedy to another…. Guess where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Well… First, at an open mic in a franchise coffee shop, then the Comedy Garage. Follow all the LIVE TWEETING here.

8) If I’ve already gone with the “jedi hand wave” to get you to donate to the Comedy Bureau, I’m invoking it again (imagine it happening right when you’re reading this), so you forget that I might have already done it once and THEN you’ll donate. Please give if you’re willing and able (jedi hand wave again) here.

9) Don’t judge comedy too quickly, unless it starts off “So I’m half…..”. That’s when I’m half on my way to doing something like this.

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Post Brunch Update 11/19/10

1) The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios was one of the best produced shows, thanks to show producers Joel Mandelkorn and Mandee Johnson, that I’ve been to in recent memory. Inside an extremely hip studio space (there’s a bar in the lobby), the set-up for the show was gorgeous. I almost didn’t believe I was at a comedy event with the all the camera equipment, the DJ spinning, food truck, GOOD FREE BEER (not that Tecate BS at most shows), gourmet cookies and cupcakes, and Christmas lights strung beautifully overhead. Already a cool, laid-back party, the Super Serious Show takes everyone’s good time and makes it great once the show actually commences. Every performer got to showcase their brand of humor perfectly as they were lit just right and everyone was seated intimately in addition to the entire line-up being truly some of L.A.’s best in comedy. Last night’s crowd at Smashbox Studios were treated (and then some) to the amazing talents of Sean Conroy, sketch group Birds of Prey (Lizzy Cooperman, Susan Burke, and Emily Maya Mills), Christina Pazsitsky, Marc Maron, and the music/comedic truths of Kirk Zipfel. Admission for the Super Serious Show is $15 at the door, but I say, with all sincerity, it’s entirely worth it. The Super Serious Show is on every third Thursday of the month at Smashbox Studios 8549 Higuera St., Culver City, CA. Pre-sale $10/$15 at door. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one on December 16th.

2) Instead of watching Harry Potter, take a journey on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’s cheaper and won’t make you wait for the second half for several months. Try out Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, then WTF with Marc Maron @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, then The Fake Show @ The Fake Gallery 9PM $10, Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ Club 8572/The Palms @ 9:30PM $10, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and end the night/not be possibly disappointed with a cliffhanger at Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd. in Silverlake/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/8PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood/6PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1019 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) On Thanksgiving week, there is plenty to give thanks for. Here’s one thing: The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List. Thanks also to Wisepix.

5) Zach Sherwin AKA MC Mr. Napkins AKA all-around hilarious comedian is dropping his self-titled album 11/30/10 off of Comedy Central Records. Even if you don’t like rap songs about analyzing rap lyrics, geography, and bees, you should still be on the lookout for it because he’s that good. OR, you can just pre-order it on iTunes here.

6) The Comedy Bureau extends a congratulations to Shayne Michael as winner and Erik D. Schulte as the audience favorite for the first Joe Braza Comedy Invitational.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Paul Jay. “@pauljaycomic Love is: not throwing a nerd fit when your girlfriend watches "Casino” in the wrong aspect ratio.“ Follow him on twitter here or check out his awesome podcast, The Biggest Mistake here.

7) "Misadventures” isn’t exactly how I would describe the nightly explorations of the Comedy Bureau. I think “ceaseless insomnia-induced sojourn” is more appropriate. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun. It just never stops. NEVER. Follow the Comedy Bureau’s LIVE TWEETING of “whatever it is” here.

8) I would like an auctioneer to say, “Do I hear….?” in regards to donating to the Comedy Bureau, but I think they would have to start off with, “Do I hear…. anything?” Change that and donate here.

9) What happened to old school hecklers that actually made some sort of sense when they were interrupting? In this last week, I’ve seen mostly crazy people wearing a bunch of hats simultaneously that just say, “My name is Taxi-cab guy. I like house music.”

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/18/10

1) Due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March 2011.

2) If you were able to make it to the 11 shows I posted yesterday, this should be a breeze, that is, if you killed you’re doppelganger clones. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $15/Free Beer, then Jimmy Dore and Friends @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $12/2 drink min., then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM (call 323-568-1616 for details/to be in audience), then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe (459 N. Roxbury Dr., Beverly Hills, CA) 8PM $5, then The Joe Braza Comedy Invitational Finals @ The Seafood Shack 8:30PM FREE, then The Charlyne Yi Show (she was on Conan last week and I didn’t post it like I should have right here) @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, then WTF? w/Greg Berman @ Flappers Burbank 10PM $12/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1760 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/Must work clean and no material about religion or politics, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Comedy Bureau “Tips its Hat” to Aparna Nancherla today. @aparnapkin “found out that the sound of one hand clapping is me patting myself on the back. #selfcongratulatoryphilosophy” Follow her “musings and amusings” on Twitter here or her blog here.

5) Though Reggie Watts is mainly NYC performer, he’s in town for the week as shown here on Conan. His show at Largo is sold out tonight, but there is a large segment of the LA population that tends to flake out, so show up and maybe you’ll have a chance.

6) The Comedy Bureau would like to welcome a new member in its Chain of Command: Field Liaison Jeremy Paul. Let the title take you wherever you want it to, but Jeremy would like you to know that his dick stays hard and HE JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Once more, welcome to The Comedy Bureau, Jeremy Paul.

7) The Comedy Bureau is out and about in the best and worst of Los Angeles and the Greater LA Metropolitan Area to tell you good decent folk where to go and where to never ever even dream about going in LA Comedy. Find out what’s going on via LIVE TWEETING here.

8) Basically, if you’re not bent on world destruction or don’t think that Dane Cook is what smart comedy sounds like, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau, so we can make those two things never ever happen. Accomplish this right here.

9) Again, due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March, perhaps a few weeks earlier for reasons I’m also legally not allowed to discuss.

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Post Brunch Update 11/17/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish thanks everyone for coming out and making it a bigger room. Also, thanks to “cheeseburger cookies” that were raffled off tasting like normal vanilla flavored/chocolate filled cookies. Come next Tues. Nov. 23rd for the mayhem/fun and another random Japanese food item. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

2) Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre gave an increasingly rare experience amongst live comedy shows where performers actually talk about themselves as honestly as they possibly can. So much painful/endearing humor can be drawn from the horrible/amazing things that happen in life and Stripped Stories showed, beyond a shadow of doubt, how great that can be. Though the name of the show might lead you to believe it’s just a bunch of vulgar sex stories, I believe that “stripped” is in reference into how every performer on the show strips their normal stage persona and become vulnerable and hilarious in a way that I never expected. In from NYC, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman stopped here in LA with their amazing show at the UCB Theatre and hosted/shared some sensational and hysterical stories with Michelle Buteau, Tony Sam, and a few musical confessions from Wendy Ho. Stripped Stories tours nationwide and check back at the Comedy Bureau for the details for the next show.

3) OK, we’ve talked about cloning and I’m pretty sure traveling through time to get to COMEDY CRAWL in its entirety. Well, you’re going to have to BOTH for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: Start off with The Frolic Show! @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then travel back in time to The Laughing Skull Showcase @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., make a clone, send it to “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then have the clone go back in time to Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8PM FREE, then travel to the future, or present, to Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then meet up with your clone at Biscuits and Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, make another clone and send it to Silver Mullet @ The Hideout 8:30PM FREE, then send the first clone to Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and go ahead and teleport to Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $20, then take yourself to Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 10PM FREE, and then gather everyone at Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, then kill the clones and destroy the time machines because they turned out to be your doppelgangers bent on making 2010 the new 2012.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/6:30PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach CA/8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St. Sign-up 7PM/Starts at 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/can go up multiple times.

5) Holy Fuck! The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Dave Ross. “@davetotheross ask not what your country can do for you… ask China. they have money.” Follow him on Twitter here. Great guy/comedian/obsessed with the F word Dave Ross also his year anniversary of his amazing show Holy Fuck! next Tues., Nov. 23rd, 9PM @ Downtown Independent Theatre, which is something not to be missed.

6) The Comedy Bureau will be in at a few open mics, a comedy competition doing only 3 min., and wondering what has become of the comedy scene in Long Beach tonight. Hear all about it as I’ll/we’ll be LIVE TWEETING the whole time here.

7) Donate and I’ll temporarily lift my belief that karma doesn’t exist AND something good will happen to you. Test that theory here.

8) Tony Parker/Eva Longoria divorce jokes vs. more Prop. 19 failing jokes. I’m wondering which of the two I’ll hear more tonight and why I’d rather hear more 9/11 jokes.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/16/10

1) Performing at Keep it Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House was one of the best times I’ve ever had doing stand-up. With a crowd intent on listening (minus one of the supporting actors from Eastbound and Down that was wasted in the back of the bar), a perfectly darkened room with a spotlight that’s actually not blinding, and Matt Braunger absolutely “killing” it before I have to close the show, I/The Comedy Bureau actually had fun, as amazing hostess JC Coccoli suggested I do. As people already like coming down to 1739 Public House for the 64+ beers on tap/that hip Los Feliz atmosphere, the audience is surprisingly receptive to comedy as they were last night with the great line-up of Margie Kment (French Toast), Jono Zalay, Giulia Rozzi (Kimmel), April Richardson (Chelsea Lately), Matt Braunger (Letterman), and myself/Jake Kroeger/Bureau Director of the Comedy Bureau. Also, if everything else I just mentioned wasn’t enough of an incentive, this show is completely FREE and thus you should come to an edition of Keep It Clean Comedy. Keep It Clean Comedy: Every Monday at 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz). Free.

2) It’s a Little Big COMEDY CRAWL tonight with a light spread of some pretty BIG, fantastic shows. Oxymorons aside, start off with Shits & Giggles @ Club 8572/The Palms 7:30PM $10, then Laughing Skull Comedy Festival Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 8PM/10PM $10/2 item min., then Matty Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge: Writers of Conan Edition @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8:15PM FREE, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), and finish with Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5.

4) Today the Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Josh Haness and also wishes a damn fine birthday. RT @fuzzyjosh This month is National Spousal Abuse/Rape Awareness Month. It is being referred to as “No means NO!vember”. Follow him on Twitter here. Don’t miss his weekly show at Bar Lubitsch, “The Josh and Josh Show” on Thursdays at 8PM.

5) I know I said it already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is tonight and you need to be there to witness a whirlwind of comedy, cheap fish tacos, cheap beer, and raffles a plenty. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/Downtown. Sign up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM. LET’S WREAK SOME HAVOC without breaking anything.

6) The Comedy Bureau’s reach just got a little longer. In a good way. We’re on the national comedy forum “A Special Thing” now, which will just lead you back to here, again, in a good way.

7) Comedy adventures with the Comedy Bureau every night LIVE TWEETED here. Follow as I go anywhere from comedy purgatory to comedy hell (surprisingly large area in LA) to normalcy. Again, right here.

8) “Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is actually a good cause.” -a good person. Listen to this person and donate here.

9) I’m actually happy, which means it’s time to test that common theory that comedy will suffer due to feeling good about yourself…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/15/10

1) There is no such thing as the Library Cafe Open Mic in Los Angeles. (Sidenote: there is a great open mic on Wed. at Library: A Coffee House in Long Beach) This town is so disconnected, so uninformed within itself, and most importantly bad at promoting available stage time. Talking to the owner of Library Cafe in LA, she explained that only the same few people kept coming and it wasn’t that great. That is the result one gets when those “few people” keep an open mic secret, which can be understandable on their end, but this is what you should expect when you only tell a few friends to come on by. Again, LA is so decentralized and unaware that if you want people to come, you have to tell EVERYONE, even if it is free stage time. However, the Comedy Bureau will try to spread the word about new rooms/rooms no one’s ever heard of/rooms in Alhambra, etc. that most people won’t want to drive to.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is almost physically possible. I’m sure this isn’t a stat anybody really cares about, but let’s see how much “Comedy Stamina” you really have. Start off with a heavy laughs at What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill 8PM FREE, then a few more big chuckles at Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then a few more laughs and some smiles at Eli Braden @ Cherry Pit 9PM 749 W. Katella Ave., Orange, CA, and then finish off with mad dash of guffaws at Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705/705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7ishPM/10 min. stage time at least, PUKA BAR/710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/8PM, CASEY’S/613 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, TRIBAL CAFE/1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8PM, GROUND ZERO CAFE/615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC)/USC student Sign-up 9PM/Non Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 Cover/Free coffee & water.

4) The Comedy Bureau tips its hat to none other than Jeremy Paul for sharing this gem "My HMO does not cover titty glitter.“ He keeps saying he is going to die, but he’s going to be funny while doing it. Also, he wants to have his comedy special taped at the Alamo. Follow all of his hopes, dreams, and nightmares here.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition @ Señor Fish is TOMORROW! Comedy, $2 fish tacos, raffles, $3 domestic/$4 imported beers, three mics/three mic stands, and a whole lot more fun surprises. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles (in, you guessed it, Little Tokyo) Sign up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. Do not miss.

6) Well, well, well… if you were wondering A) who writes this blog? B) Where can I see this person perform? C) I know who writes this blog, but when is he ever actually doing a show? D) Why does this person do this to himself? I have all the answers TONIGHT. Go to Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE. (yeah… that means I’m doing the show, so please come, and also get your answers to any of those questions that I’m sure all of you had)

7) As I’ll be performing and acting as the Comedy Bureau simultaneously, I’ll be trying to simultaneously live tweet at with my own personal account here, which only few people follow because it’s most like suicide jokes, and the actual Comedy Bureau account, which people actually like here. Follow both and see what happens.

8) Donate because I’d like to say, "This shit ain’t free, ya know?!?” but unfortunately can’t, because it is…. Please donate and I’ll write something better next time.

9) I’d like to believe that comedy is largely derived from finding the fallacy in what’s accepted, especially since I do stand up comedy and no one ever told me I was funny while growing up.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/14/10

1) “Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch” @ The Steve Allen Theater in all its chaotic hilarity actually spreads an air of actually wanting to “hook-up” as I saw several people, not on the show, exchanging numbers after the show. Host Ron Lynch takes the format of the classic “Dating Game” and nostalgically puts it through a blender to come out with an uproarious live comedy show. There’s an on-call bartender, Davey Johnson as a stressed out stage manager, Brady Novak as a warm-up guy who doesn’t think his career is going to work out, Cornell Reid as the warm-up to the warm-up guy, Randy Liedtke as a psychic/stage hand, “speed rounds” of questioning that no one has ever gotten right, and then the actual questioning of bachelors and bachelorettes for a REAL date. The packed Steve Allen Theater was rolling in laughter the entire time and definitely felt the love. "Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch“ takes the place of the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theater (4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA [Los Feliz]) once a month. Midnight $8. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) I should really go with Comedy Triathlon, but COMEDY CRAWL is catchier and less intimidating. See how much laughter you can handle starting off with LIAR @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., then Chatterbox Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Comedy Revival @ Comedy Store Belly Room 8:30PM $5/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5/21 and over only, and cross the finish line at Sunday Sunday Sunday @ The Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY CAFE 800 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA 5PM (going to check this one out today), SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA 5PM-11PM/$5 cover.

4) The Comedy Bureau is calling an audible by switching it’s Twitter Tip of the Hat to a Tip of the Hat of anything twitter/facebook/video/etc./etc. that’s worthy of mention. Today’s tip of the hat goes to the hilarious and incredibly bold Asterios Kokkinos. Perhaps "bold” isn’t the right word, but judge for yourself by watching him pitch horrible script ideas at a pitch convention here.

6) REVIEWS relinked. Just like I promised, though I broke probably 10 other promises in the promise, but when they’re promises to yourself that you would finish this post by 11PM, it’s OK, right? Again, updated reviews here.

7) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition, this Tues. Nov. 16th @ Señor Fish. Shameless promotion tactic #13: Raffling off random Japanese Food Item. Sign Up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. Do not miss.

8) The Comedy Bureau has “mission objectives”. See if it completes them via his twitter account right here.

9) Be the 2nd Person ever to donate to the Comedy Bureau and go down in history. Seriously. Doubt it? Only one way to find out… DONATE.

10) I’m just going to say being a nice guy both won and was funny last night. Usually, it’s just funny and then nobody wants to hear how sad it is several months later.

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Morning Debriefing 11/13/10

1) The Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre took me by surprise, in the best way possible, even when I expected the “unexpected”. Having already seen the lovely and talented duo of Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome separately, I suspected farcical/risqué songs from the unassuming, almost incongruous pair (Lindhome is a foot taller and plays guitar next to the petit Micucci who plays a ukelele). Yet, their abundant charm coupled with their cleverly worded and obscure reference-filled (John Donne and Spiro Agnew, just to name a few) songs about douchebags ruining the party, sex with animals, and the learning curve of hand jobs, was far past anything I had in mind for the evening. AND THEN… Justin Long, who, according to Lindhome, has only been in Herbie: Fully Loaded, read published poems by Michael Madsen that could be described as transcendent… via a certain, horrible, undeserving self-importance. One of the poems is merely about watching out for “the shit” because it’s “everywhere”. It was another thing in the Garfunkel and Oates Hour that completely blindsided me as I usually don’t expect much out of big-shot actors performing live comedy. The Garfunkel and Oates Hour is every 2nd Friday of the month at the UCB Theatre, 5919 Franklin Ave. 8PM/$10. They also perform at several other venues/dates around LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details.

2) Yeah, I know it’s Saturday and Manny Pacquiao is going to beat whatever daylights that Antonio Margarito has left in him, which is EXACTLY the point. I KNOW THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. There’s no suspense left, which is why you should go see some great live comedy instead. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL starts off with Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then B.O.R.E.D. Tour starring Mike Phirman @ Flappers Burbank-YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Nick Kroll Does Comedy @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Showbizzle.com’s Last Call Comedy @ Hollywood Improv 11:30PM $14/2 item min., then Midnight Madness @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 11:59PM $20/2 drink min., and then finish strong with a knockout at Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow! presents HOOK-UP! @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: MARTY’S 5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), SUNSET GRILL 7PM/one item min./7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA, BURBANK MOOSE LODGE 7:30PM/1901 W. Burbank Blvd. Call (818)-843-0284 before going as I’ve never tried this mic before.

4) Today’s Comedy Bureau’s Twitter Tip of the Hat goes to JIM HAMILTON. “@Jim_Hamilton I don’t know what to wear this time of year, because the only clothes I own are Hypercolor shirts and Christmas sweaters.” Follow him and some of the best one-liners in LA here.

5) The Greater LA Open Mic Map has been updated, specifically put in order by day and time so it’s EVEN EASIER for any and all of you aspiring/working/making-it comics wanting to find an open mic. Any listings without details are as such because I have yet to actually go there and see how horrible/tolerable it is. More info on each individual room to be added soon. Check all of the above here.

6) That REVIEWS archive I promised, right here. Everything will be re-linked tomorrow, mostly so I have something else to write about.

7) Follow the Comedy Bureau on its not-all-that-secret mission to bring great comedy out to the deserving public on twitter as it live tweets every night. Do so right here.

8) I wonder what a Comedy Bureau jingle would sound like… support/donate and find out here.

9) I convinced someone to try stand-up last night and I can’t help but wonder if I did a bad thing… He might have been President, but now he’ll try to be one of us wondering what angle about the President hasn’t been explored at an open mic. Luckily, I don’t believe in karma.

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Daily Report 11/12/10

1) Holy Fuck! @ The Downtown Independent Theatre deservedly earned it’s name last night. Despite it being on a night that it isn’t usually scheduled on, the presence of the Downtown LA Artwalk, another live stand up comedy show also in Downtown LA, Holy Fuck! told the odds to go seriously FUCK themselves as an entire movie theatre (over 100 people) showed up to see some of LA’s heaviest hitters in comedy. In fact, show producer/awesome comedian/all around great guy Dave Ross proves that, if done correctly, you can make a great comedy show in a completely non-traditional comedy venue at the ultra-hip Downtown Independent Theatre. When Louis CK dropped in a few months ago, he pointed out the high ceilings, the deep stadium seating, and several other obstacles comedians would have to fight while perform and got HUGE LAUGHS will doing it. On this edition of Holy Fuck!, the huge crowd that told the artwalk to fuck off were almost spoiled with performances from cross-dressing/straight-man (you read that right)/host for the evening Rye Silverman, Zach Ames, Ed Salazar, Susan Burke, Howard Kremer, musical duo Limo Driver, Dave Ross, Laura Kightlinger, and the one and only (and the Comedy Bureau uses that phrase sparingly) Eddie Pepitone. OH, DID I MENTION IT’S FREE?!? It’s a completely free show that you should never miss on pain of kicking yourself in the face. Holy Fuck! is usually on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. 9PM. HOLY FUCKING FREE! @ Downtown Independent Theatre 251 S. Main St. Stay tuned here for details.

2) Hopefully the COMEDY CRAWL will put the Artwalk to shame. We can start off to that goal tonight by going to Ron Lynch @ Flappers Yoo Hoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then go to Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then go to Race Riot @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5, then go to Garfunkel & Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre $10 (stand by only), then go to 10 Comics in the Lounge @ Comedy and Magic Club 8:15PM $10, then go to Tremendosaur and Friends @ Tommy’s Place/USC 9PM FREE, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, then finish off with Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5. Once again, you’re welcome.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE-sign up (lottery) at 6:30PM/starts at 7PM/2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake), iCANDY-sign up at 6PM/starts at 7PM/1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA, GLENDALE DAYS INN-8PM/450 Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA, NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON -9PM/4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/message host David Marley for sign-up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC-5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s & Big Papa’s)

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List strikes again for 11/14-11/20… in a for-the-good-of-mankind way. Thanks Wisepix.

5) The Comedy Bureau tips it’s non-existent/metaphorical Twitter hat today to Lizzy Cooperman. RT @lizzycoooperman You call him a bad dancer. I call him a handicapped centipede. #twoleftfeet. Follow her here.

6) It has been brought to the Comedy Bureau’s attention that actual people read and appreciate the reviews featured here. As this is the case, there will be a REVIEWS archive in case you were ever wondering which are the hot shows to check out in the vast decentralized amazing place that LA is AND you didn’t want to scroll and search through all these posts looking for it.

7) Whatever the Comedy Bureau is doing tonight in comedy, with comedy, or any other preposition related to comedy will be live tweeted here. Please follow.

8) If you like Morning Debriefings more than Daily Reports, donate to the Comedy Bureau as it needs to make money doing this in its spare time AKA pretty much every waking minute. Again, donate.

9) Doing comedy every night literally stretches time as two weeks ago seems like two months to me, which makes me feel better as it seems I’ve been doing this blog a lot longer than I actually have. Though, it also makes it seem like I’ve been alone a lot longer (i.e. years seem like epochs)

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Morning Debriefing 11/11/10

1) Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics IS simply what people should expect out of a good comedy show. Packed house and a great line-up (free beer also helps). Unfortunately, a large segment of the population, not only in LA, but around the whole country have a different idea of what a live comedy show actually is. Hilarious comedienne Chelsea Peretti pointed it out so poignantly during the evening when she mentioned how she would rather be a fat guy and THEN the audience would understand that “comedy was happening” and shout, “WE GET IT! WE GET IT!” The stereotype of an overweight vulgar man making fun of audience members then hitting on their date when they go to the bathroom has been reinforced by far too many comedy clubs. Meltdown has the potential to prove this stereotype FALSE of live comedy as I sat right in front as part of a crowd of about 100 for the entire show and was not made fun of once AND had a fantastic time. Host Jonah Ray, after thanking people for not watching Gallagher at Club Nokia, let Meltdown rip with awesome performances from Ali Wong, Jerrod Carmichael, Randy Liedtke, Nick Kroll as force of nature Fabrice Fabrice, Seth Morris, Steve Agee, and Chelsea Peretti THEN Kumail Nanjiani apologized for not being there by texting a joke. Again, this is what people should expect from a live comedy show. Meltdown is every Wednesday 8:30PM $8 @ Meltdown Comics, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

2) The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ The Next Stage Theatre is the FUTURE of a live comedy show. Andre Hyland, as his absurdly fast-on-his-feet character Jesse Miller, hosts an off-air late night talk show that because of its brilliance, as sensational guest Joe Wagner commented, should be on TV. With completely dead-pan and completely hilarious musical sidekick Daryl and princess/straight-up girl/Jesse Miller Talk Show dancer Tanya, Jesse Miller takes absurdity in comedy to another level as he might seem like an unassuming yokel from Norwood, OH, but can rattle off quips, comebacks, and obscure Sonic Youth references with the best of them. Formatted with four amazing performers, a video of Jesse Miller (this edition included him in Cincinnati showing his Bengals Superbowl tattoo to people on game day), a heartfelt, bone-crushing song from Daryl, gut-busting interviews of all the guests, and an EATING CONTEST, there is no way you can beat entertainment like that for $5 on a late Tuesday night. “Straight-up hell yeah props” to Nicholas Rutherford, Melinda Hill, Joe Wagner, and Chris Fairbanks as last night’s line-up. The Jesse Miller Talk Show is on one Tuesday a month 11PM $5/one free beer @ The Next Stage Theatre, 1523 N. La Brea, Hollywood, CA (2nd Floor).

3) For all of you in the LA comedy community, the entire Comedy Bureau watched over 5 hours of live comedy yesterday.

4) For tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you need to discover instant cloning to not miss anyone of these shows. Seriously, get on it. Start off with Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Loft 8PM (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then send your clone to Wil Anderson w/Brent Weinbach @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item minimum, then “original you” go to The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then your clone should go to Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent 9PM FREE, then you go to Facepush @ Flappers-Burbank 9:30PM $10/2 item min. Make sure to kill your clone at the end of the night, mostly to prevent any bad reality show being made from your lives.

5) Brand spanking new Comedy Bureau feature, as promised, OPEN MIC RUN. For all you comics trying the impossible by getting up more than once in LA try this: Go to SANDWICH SPOT 7PM, 3101 Ocean Park Ave, Santa Monica, CA, TKO SHOW @ 212 Cafe 9PM, 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA, CAFE ON 2ND 7:30PM 7 S. 2nd St./$3 cover/10 min. at least., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 5PM-11PM, 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA $5 cover/free coffee & bottled water/go up as many times as you want. Just do it (and maybe get some laughs).

6) The Comedy Bureau will be live tweeting throughout tonight’s comedy odyssey. Follow here.

7) Announcing another new feature in the works: The Comedy Bureau will tip its proverbial hat, because we can’t afford a real one, to a single tweet a day from all the amazing LA based comedians it tracks on Twitter. Not only will they be retweeted, but they will be mentioned here and if its popular enough, maybe will have contest with a TBD prize.

8) The Comedy Bureau needs your support both in the way of hugs AND donations. Please donate here.

8) With Veteran’s Day here, please honor all the men and women serving our country and keeping us safe so we can stay out until 3AM talking about how we hate dick jokes/dick jokes.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/10/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish was one hell of a destructive/fun time!!! Thanks to everyone who came out and we’re only going to wreak more havoc next week (as long as we keep the building intact)! Next one’s Tues. Nov. 16th Sign-up @ 6:30PM, Starts @ 7PM. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo).

2) This edition of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL brought to you by a brief foray into sanity as I actually got some sleep last night. Let’s RUIN that with some F’N GREAT COMEDY starting off with “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then go to Bay Hilarea @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then going to The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then going to Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Inn Cocktail Lounge 10PM FREE, then Music Jam w/Garfunkel & Oates @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 item min., and The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, AND Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5. Yeah, I won’t be sleeping tonight and enjoying every minute of it.

3) PARKING. I have mentioned it before, but it’s such a pressing problem among the comedy community here in LA. In general, LA Parking Enforcement harasses the average citizen daily with annoying parking tickets for being in a passenger loading zone at 1AM that sometimes can be the tipping point to a violent rampage (I’ve never succumb to such urges). As performers who largely work for FREE that depend on any any and every piece of stage time they can get and largely cannot afford a collection of parking tickets, available free parking is a scarce resource. This should not be the case and I would push for some form of a Performers Exemption Parking Permit or something to avoid driving around in circles for 30 min. to wait 2 hours to do 6 min. on stage. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!

4) Yeah.. Rory Scovel was on Jimmy Fallon last night. Here he is again.

5) In addition to updating the Comedy Bureau Maps soon, the Comedy Bureau will soon bring all of you LA Comedy denizens a Podcast Roll and a Featured Videos so it will be even easier to find all the ridiculously, absurdly, funny stuff archived in the Comedy Bureau storage.

6) The “don’t-call-my-bluff-even-though-have-nothing-whatsoever-to-back-it-up-so-please-just-give-in-for-my-sake-cause-you-guys-like-me” angle: Donate to the Comedy Bureau or the cat gets it! Donate!

7) Never go it completely alone in comedy. You’re suicide jokes will become too real or you’ll become fake. Thanks to all my friends/family/supporters/fans for keeping me going. Really, with all sincerity, thank you.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/9/10

1) IT’S HERE (fear/surprise)! The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish is tonight and it’s definitely going to be something that Jack Burton COULDN’T HANDLE! Not to REALLY worry, as I, Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger, is on the case along with some guy named russell corona too. The brilliant Joe Braza and sensational Lauren Rochelle will be gracing our stage for this awesome inaugural night. Raffle for 2 “15 min. drop in spots” the following week, $2 damn good fish tacos, a stage, 50 ft. cable, and some other aces up my sleeve that Jack Burton also couldn’t handle. 6:30PM Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Come down, IF YOU DARE… (no, just come… it’ll be a great ol’ time, I swear…)

2) So those not lucky enough to witness the live tweeting at Marty’s/The Open Mic missed out on me doing jokes vs. a helicopter and though I tweeted otherwise, I won. My jokes beat out a HELICOPTER! This mostly means I made the four people watching me out on the patio laugh. Don’t worry. At Marty’s, there is an actual stage with various lounge and office chairs positioned intimately. In fact, with that patio/performing area, there are often times two stages going on AT THE SAME TIME, so you don’t have to wait that long before going up again. You also read that right, you get to go up more than once at Marty’s. You actually get to go up as many times as you want from 5PM to 11PM EVERYDAY to really tighten/break-in any aspect of your act. Even though there’s a $5 cover (which also affords you decent coffee and bottled water), going up several times a night on a given night during the week is invaluable. Marty’s/The Open Mic $5 5PM to 11PM/Everyday. 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

3) “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill last night proved why it’s in the small company of the longest running independent comedy shows in LA. Simply,“What’s Up Tiger Lily?” has some of the funniest people not only in LA, but throughout the world (Louis CK has dropped-in), that you can see for absolutely free (no cover/no min./free parking). It will prove that Stand Up Comedy is very much alive, despite the impression one gets largely from TV and foul-mouthed shock and awe comics. Always exactly on-point with all his comedy, Matt Knudsen hosted this edition of “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” with some of comedy’s best that “leave-the-building-in-ruins” including Ryan Stout, Nick Kroll, Jamie Lee, Nicholas Rutherford, Doug Mellard, Dave Huntsberger, and Matt Champagne. I actually convinced a couple who weren’t there for “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” to stay and watch the show because the line-up was that damn good. "What’s Up Tiger Lily?“ Every Mon. 8PM. COMPLETELY FREE. Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill. 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

4) Yes there’s some Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, but there’s some safe, hilarious, good times elsewhere in LA on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start off with Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics/message Abbey Londer for comp list), then go to Laugh for Sight @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $50/2 item min., then go to Comedy Death Ray 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Sausage and Smiles @ DiPiazza’s 9PM $5, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and finish off with Killing Room @ Palms/Club 8572 9:30PM $10.

5) If you’re again saying to yourself, "Inside, you win. I’m just going to stay at home,” you might have some issues that I can’t help and you should probably watch the second episode of Conan’s triumphant return to TV at 11PM on TBS, then watch another quarter of the awesome Southern Comedy Quartet, Rory Scovel on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon 12:35AM on NBC.

6) The Comedy Bureau would like to its relatively long reach, depending on how you look at our scope of LA Comedy, for a congratuations to Josh Covitt for winning X-ecution Improv Tournament and wishes him the best in making his way even further towards the top of the proverbial comedy mountain.

7) Support the Comedy Bureau because it supports you, that is, if you like LA Comedy. If not, well… just donate for taxes purposes/supporting the arts/doing your good deed for the day. Please.

8) Comedy Milestone: I’m so funny I got free dinner without even performing. Obviously, I haven’t had that many comedy milestones.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/8/10

1) Tales of the Black Freighter @ R-Bar is what people should think of a LA comedy show, as opposed to what they might see at the Comedy Store and the Hollywood Improv on a given night. Located in the heart of K-town on 8th St., as opposed to the gentrified glitz of Wilshire Blvd., with several Mexican hole-in-the-walls and Korean BBQs, one walks into R-bar and is immediately transported into yet another state of mind with there being a password (that they will just give you) to enter the extremely intimate bar, an entirely dark wooded interior, and offerings of the Sazerac from the friendly, neighborly staff AND THEN, there’s a great comedy show. With Last Comic Standing Finalist James Adomian hosting and telling his version of Russian joke families, Eddie Pepitone, Karl Hess, Jimmy Dore, and Eric Andre gave the audience the complete fantastically opposite experience of a Hollywood comedy show. Details of the Tales of the Black Frieghter will come as the Comedy Bureau receives them, but there is another regularly scheduled, one-Tuesday-a-month live comedy show at R-bar (3331 W. 8th St., Los Angeles, CA) called Blamblamblam hosted by Matt Peters. Don’t miss the next one on this Tues. Nov. 9th at 9PM for FREE.

2) We still haven’t hit a night without a fantastic “Comedy Crawl” and tonight is certainly no exception. In fact, it’s going to one damn good night of comedy, that’s almost entirely free, on a daylight savings Monday that certainly needs it. Start off with some What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ The Puka Bar 8:30PM FREE, Stand Up Comedy Night @ Old Towne Pub (66 N. Fair Oaks, Pasadena, CA) 10PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10:30PM FREE, and finish it off with The Incubator @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) If anyone actually followed the live tweet of last night’s sojourn to Sushi King for the supposed midnight open mic, you would have found that they moved it to Tuesday. Personal sidenote: I don’t know how receptive Sushi King is to comedy if they ACTUALLY THOUGHT I was going to have sushi delivered from Hollywood to Long Beach after I showed up for a comedy open mic at midnight. Live tweeting tonight from Marty’s/The Open Mic at 5PM. Follow here.

4) If you are opting to stay at home tonight, you better be watching the return of Conan O’Brien on TV/the world having hope or at least having some great fun before it goes down in flames. 11PM on TBS.

5) RT @ Braunger LA comics! @sarahtiana is collecting merch for the troops. Drop off your CDs, records, etc at the Improv, Comedy Store, and the Icehouse.

6) I’ll say it again: Greater LA Open Mic Map. Greater LA Comedy Landscape. Both now with buttons and will be updated regularly. I wish paying my overdue parking ticket was this easy.

7) DON’T HAVE FEAR even though there will be some Big Trouble in Little Tokyo with the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic kicking off and kicking hard tomorrow night Tues. Nov. 9th at 6:30PM. Please don’t be square/no show. Come to Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st. St., Los Angeles, CA (I apologize. You can be square, but please come down because it will be “that” much greater if you do)

8) I could give you a million very depressing reasons that no one really needs to hear about what I go through to run the Comedy Bureau, but, instead, I’m just going to say, if you are able and willing, please donate here.

9) Walking for 2 hours around Koreatown, horribly alone, might just be a great way to get material, though I’m pretty sure writing, “You ever been so alone that you wished you’ve been mugged just to remind you of your existence?” isn’t really all that funny. It sounds “forced”, but I’ll find that out for sure at an open mic tonight.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/7/10

1) Last night at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch” @ The Steve Allen Theater, I felt so honored to perform on Ron’s “5 Minutes or Less” version of the show where a simply delightful line-up does 5 minutes before all the power to the stage is cut off. For those not in the “know”, “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch” has been a stand out even amongst an extremely rare breed of comedy shows in LA that start at midnight and take place outside of a comedy club AND are so funny that those hesistant about going to a comedy show in general WILL have a good time. With one of the best hosts “in the biz” Ron Lynch and his “magic without magic act”, last night lucky crowd witnessed daylight savings time as it happened and nicely packaged 5 minutes from Alex Mesrobian, Sean Green, Jake Kroeger (Comedy Bureau Director/the person writing this blog/me), Rob O’Reilly, Matt Champagne, John Vargas, SAX Carr, Shawn Carlow, Brandie Posey, Carlos Ramos, and Will Weldon, not to mention a fantastic musical performance from spy music extraordinaires Double Naught Spy Car. The Tomorrow Show!!! w/Ron Lynch @ The Steve Allen Theater, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Los Feliz). Every Saturday/Midnight. $8/Free Parking.

2) The extra hour in the day means, you guessed it, a superb comedy show on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (football’s not worth that hour). Start off with The Breakfast Show w/Adam Shenkman @ The Strange 4PM & 8PM/e-mail AdamOCerealClub@gmail.com for details, then go to Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then go to Christopher Titus @ Brea Improv 7PM $25/2 drink min., then go to French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, “Tales of the Black Freighter” @ R-Bar 9PM FREE. OK, that’s more than an hour, but you want to go to more than one comedy show tonight. You know that you do…

3) Tonight, the Comedy Bureau will be delving into another edition of OPEN MIC LIVE TWEETING at the Sushi King, which seems like an urban legend among LA open mic as it starts at midnight on Sundays. Stay tuned for what it sure to be either a great time or one of the harder mental endurance/patience tests I’ve ever subjected myself to right HERE.

4) In addition to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, there already exists a Greater LA Comedy Landscape for all the “booked” rooms. The Comedy Bureau brings you yet another amazing innovation by putting conveniently located links at the top of the page that to both maps. When we can afford an R&D department, we’ll look into the next step of intaking your inner thoughts and desires and letting that navigate through the site, but, for now, primitive as it may be, you’ll have to scroll up and click.

5) Newly minted LA Comedy Competition “The Rickie’s” is now taking submissions. Available categories for submission include Impressions/Characters, One-liners, and Musical Comedy. E-mail therickiesINFO@gmail.com with the category you’re submitting for, a 3 min. online clip, and any other questions. Find more details here.

6) News for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic: Regular tacos cost $1.50, Señor Fish closes at 1AM, and I might punch co-host Russell Corona in the face, just maybe. Go to Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA on Nov. 9th/6:30PM to find out.

7) The Comedy Bureau actually received its first donation from fantastic human being/great comic Jerry Brandt and extends an extra special thank you from all of us (meaning me, the one person who writes and is responsible for everything that goes into this entire agency/blog). Please be the next exemplary citizen by donating to The Comedy Bureau and all my efforts here.

8) “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…” I wonder if there is any language where that actually translates to laughter. Wherever that is, that’s where my comedy will obliterate.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/6/10

1) Comics and Comics @ Meltdown Comics is first off and foremost an uproariously hilarious live comedy show AND THEN an insightful and inviting look into the life of the “fanboy”. Initially, I had thought the show might be largely geek vs. geek trying to top each other with painfully specific continuity issues in various fantasy worlds and who can make the more obscure reference based off of issue numbers, both aspects of geek culture that fantastic host Sax Carr frequently riffs quite nicely off of, but Comics and Comics transcended such stereotypical notions. Privileged audience members got to see all different angles in the life of being a geek/fanboy without getting too arcane and had the seemingly rare experience of having a good time with live comedy. Even when it was too arcane, it was still pretty damn funny. Top notch performances from Ed Greer, Paul Jay, Asterios Kokkinos, Tom Franck, Scott Lobdell, and Johnathan London. I even enjoyed warm up acts Brian Walton and Tim Powers along with music from Elmenopy, which consisted largely of them playing the Batman theme while chanting different comic book/pop culture characters unrelated to Batman. Comics and Comics graces Meltdown Comics on the first Friday of every month. 7511 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA

2) Tonight’s Comedy Crawl not to be missed BY LAW!!!, especially since The Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger is actually going up, so start off w/ Pet Adoption/Charity Auction w/James Adomian @ Amoeba Records 12PM-4PM FREE, then The Truth and Soul Show @ The Comedy Store Belly Room 10PM $5/2 drink min., then Stand Up to Stand Up Comedy @ The Air Conditioned Lounge 8PM FREE, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM FREE, Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow Show Presents 5 Min. or Less @ The Steve Allen Theater Midnight $8 (this is the one I’m on), The Midnight Show @ The UCB Theatre Midnight $5, The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8:30PM $25, Christopher Titus @ Brea Improv 7PM & 9PM $25/2 drink min.

3) Per the last report, there is now a GREATER LA COMEDY OPEN MIC MAP. Unlike primitive open mic lists of the past, the Comedy Bureau brings you to the forefront of google technology and comedy information with a FRIGGIN’ MAP along with details about sign up and start times as well as who hosts the room. SOON TO COME: Alotted time, Reviews, and Open Mic Run Routes.

4) Jason Nash is Married… and it’s definitely a laugh riot. Check it here.

5) If you like the Open Mic Map, hell, if you like this site, and are, again, able and willing, please donate what you can to support the Comedy Bureau. By the way, the magic of the word “please” is being tested here.

6) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic just found out that they will have a STAGE instead of some dusty old carpet from storage that would have stayed there otherwise. I know you can’t see my hand gesturing the improvement of the room by this announcement, but I’ll reiterate, WE HAVE A STAGE!!! Tues. Nov. 9th. 6:30PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. (little tokyo/downtown)

7) Lakers vs. Live Comedy Shows and Lakers vs. Clippers. Is there any difference? I struggle to find one.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/5/10

1) In the first annual Joe Braza Comedy Invitational, I did not move on because I’m depressing. However, the last group of finalists have rounded out the line-up for the Joe Braza Comedy Invitational Finals. On Nov. 18th @ 9PM, Shayne Michael, Casey Balsham, Matt Champagne, Joe Arrigoni, Erik D Schulte, Daniel Eachus, Jerry Brandt, Mark Schumacher, and Drew Mercury will all go head for the Joe Braza Comedy Invitational trophy or win cash by getting worst comedian, just like Russell “Rape Joker” Corona did last night. Again, The Joe Braza Comedy Invitational @ The Seafood Shack, Nov. 18th at 9PM. Music by Maggie Boles. No cover/no minimum. 11710 South St., Artesia, CA.

2) Just an FYI to all that have the stomach/endurance to do a late-night open mic. Good friend of the Comedy Bureau’s, Kevin Eric McCarthy, sent me a text saying that his weekly open mic at 212 Cafe in Venice was going to 2 IN THE MORNING. 2AM!!! If you really wanted to get up, go to 212 Cafe every Thursday and you will get some decent time with a bit of a crowd as the cafe NEVER CLOSES! 212 Cafe. Every Thursday. 9PM. 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA. Hosted by Kevin Eric McCarthy and Taylor Collins. If this wasn’t a “Bureau Approved” Open Mic, it is now.

3) Forget about the return of the “midnight movie” by staying in and watching whatever over-the-hill B-list star and random monster combo is on SyFy and go see some damn good LIVE comedy. For tonight, the Comedy Crawl says REALLY go to Comics and Comics @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Christopher Titus @ Brea Improv 8PM/10PM $25/2 item min., then go to First Friday’s @ The Sapphire Lounge-Newport Beach Radisson 9PM $12, then go to Hot Toddy @ iO West-Del Close 9:30PM $5, then go to Stood Up Friday Night @ The Moving Arts Theatre 10PM, then simultaneously go to Stand Up Super Squad Comedy Show @ Fanatic Salon 10PM $7, then go to Pop Quiz, Hotshot @ iO West-Main Stage 11PM.

4) Another edition of the Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List thanks to the amazing Wisepix.

5) The new, big, badass, independent comedy show is letting EVERYONE know that they’re here. Check out the Super Serious Show’s Mixtape Vol. 1 featuring the super-serious, badass, and just overall hilarious Andy Peters & Matt Braunger right here, right now, right here, right now. Actually, either link will do.

6) Peoria Comedian Jeremy Paul will live!!! FOREVER!!! maybe…

7) In the next day or so, The Comedy Bureau will bring out what is sure to be its most popular innovation yet, The “Bureau Approved” Open Mic List/Map. Stay Tuned.

8) Just pretend I’m Oliver Twist and donate.

9) With a few days left, let’s recap on the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Tues. Nov. 9th. 6:30PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St. No cover/min. $3 beer/$2 fish tacos during happy hour. Raffle for 2 “15 min. drop in spots” for the following week. 50 foot cable and 3 mics. Inaugural special guest performances from Joe Braza and Lauren Rochelle. Sign-up is first come/first serve. Hosted by Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger and Russell Corona. Nothing but fun.

10) I would challenge any other comic to get more awwww’s than me, but that’s one challenge I don’t really want to win.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/4/10

1) It’s a theory that the further you drive outside of Los Angeles proper, the more stage time you can get as a comedian. Cafe on 2nd in Alhambra gives more support to that argument as you are guaranteed at least 10 min. after $3 cover. Being a mixed mic, musicians and poets actually want to listen to your set as opposed to bitter comics trying to going over their set or figuring out a riff off of you. Though I had to pay $3 and had to drive to Alhambra, all the way in the heart of the San Gabriel Valley, I ended up getting 15 min., which is indispensable to building an act/developing stage presence/making sure you don’t bomb for 5 min. when it counts. Another “Bureau Approved Open Mic” Cafe on 2nd runs every Wed. and Thurs. Sign-up at 7PM. Starts at 7:30PM. $3 cover. 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA.

2) I don’t know why I’ve never been to Ed Galvez’s Punk House before, especially knowing that he puts up some of LA’s funniest on a stage in an alley behind the 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica. With Sean Green at the reins, Eli Olsberg, Mike Holmes, Josh Androsky, Matt Manser, Erin Crapser, Ed Galvez himself, and a surprise appearance by Geoff Brousseau made for a night way more entertaining that watching people argue with the Christian evangelist on the actual 3rd St. Promenade. Running for over 4 years, Punk House is a testament to legitimately hilarious comedy shows outside of the Hollywood trifecta of the Laugh Factory, Comedy Store, and the Hollywood Improv. Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ The Westside Comedy Theatre. 9PM Every Wednesday. $8. 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in the alley).

3) The comedy crawl has too much comedy tonight for a clever metaphor. There’s just not enough space in this post to tell you literally how much amazing, astounding, fantastic, phenomenal, stupefying live comedy there is tonight. That’s why I’ll get to it now, right after I finish typing this very sentence that you’re reading. Go to MB Stand Up @ Flappers Yoo Hoo Room 7:30PM $5/2 drink min., then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Piñata @ Bang Comedy Theatre 8PM. $14, then Comedy Speakeasy w/Eric Andre and Amy Dresner @ TSR Loft (call 323-568-1616 for details), then Laugh for Haiti @ The Comedy Store 8PM $25/2 item min., then Full Throttle Comedy @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then As Seen on Chelsea Lately w/Ryan Stout & Christina Pazsitsky @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then “That’s My Baby” @ Barre Vermont 9:30PM FREE., then Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ The UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

4) LA Comedian/a quarter of the Southern Comedy Quartet Jarrod Harris has a new webseries, Action Figure Therapy, which amazingly manages to be more therapeutic for anyone watching than the actual “action figure” supposedly getting therapy. Check it out here.

5) Donate. Please. Donate to support the Comedy Bureau. Please. Unfortunately, I don’t think Pavlovian response applies here, but please donate.

6) The Comedy Bureau Calendars freshly updated w/ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club, Bang Theatre, and Sal’s Comedy Hole. Doubt it? See for yourself.

7) Breaking news for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. There will be a 50 ft. cable to walk around almost like it’s a wireless mic. Also, to kick off with a bang and a mic toss, there will be inaugural performances to the incomparable Joe Braza and Lauren Rochelle. Nov. 9th. 6:30PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA

8) I think there’s a PG way to go about suicide jokes. There better be… BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE!!!

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/3/10

1) Making it to more than one open mic in LA is so hard that I can’t even think of a metaphor to relate how incredibly difficult it really is. I missed out on the Nugget Grill & Pub at CSULB as non-student parking is about a mile away from where you’re supposed to go. HOWEVER, I managed to make it to BACK HOME IN LAHAINA in Carson and did 35 MINUTES! 35 MINUTES! No matter how many times I write that, it won’t make it seem more plausible. There was a crowd that mostly came there for the delicious Hawaiian Zagat rated cuisine, but I got 35 minutes. That’s the only selling point you should care about. Back Home in Lahaina. 2nd official “Bureau Approved” open mic. Running on first and last Tues. of every month, starting at 6PM, 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA.

2) Chatroulette LIVE! @ The UCB Theatre proved to be one of the most innovative and hilarious live comedy shows on “the scene”. Imagine taking Crank Yankers to the stage, then using real, AWESOME comedic performers as a panel, then going on the twisted/addicting website that is Chatroulette to “prank video chat” people around the world such as shirtless kids in Brazil asking to see tits. Chatroulette LIVE is farcical, macabre, and uproarious the whole way through. Hosted by the amazing Allan McLeod and Dominic Dierkes, featuring Sean Clements, Harris Wittels, Kate Micucci & Riki Lindhome, and Jackie Clarke, it’s an amazing night of the hilarity/horror of social networking gone too far. Chatroulette LIVE! $5. 1st Tues. of every month at the UCB Theatre, 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA.

3) Post Election Comedy Crawl where you can maybe get high off some laughs: Highland Park Sing-A-Long w/Maria Bamford @ Cafe de Leche 7PM FREE, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ The Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Tiffany King’s LOL Comedy Show 9PM $5, then Beer in the Shower @ White Horse Inn Cocktail Lounge 10PM FREE, then Fresh Faces @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., and come nicely off the high with/ Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5. If that doesn’t help with trying to stomach the election results, I can’t help you.

4) On Halloween, Schtick or Treat @ Taix was absolutely fantastic the whole way through. This, however, was literally a tour-de-force impression of Russell Brand by LA Comedian Nick Rutherford. Witness.

5) Please give to the Donation Box to support what is, or will be depending on your opinion, LA’s live comedy source. Right here.

6) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is PRIVILEGED to kick off its inaugural night with performances by the lovely LAUREN ROCHELLE and the one and only JOE BRAZA! Again, Nov. 9th @ Señor Fish. 6:30PM. 422 E. 1st St. DO NOT MISS!

7) No on Prop. 19 frustration and Dancing w/the Stars updates. Two topics I don’t want to hear about at open mics, but absolutely will tonight.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/2/10

1) Don’t tell impossible to take a dirt nap when trying to do a run of an open mics. My goal was 3 spots: Tribal Cafe, Ground Zero USC, and Taix and I only made it to Tribal Cafe as it ran too late to go to Ground Zero USC, then found out Taix no longer has an open mic since, SURPRISE SURPRISE, no one showed up, at which point the friendly bartender Tony told me, “If only found a motivated guy like you earlier…” Anyhow, Tribal Cafe, right off the bat, has a hipster vibe through and through with shelves of kombucha and Radiohead playing in the background. Somehow this translates into real twenty-somethings in plaid WALKING IN and LISTENING TO COMEDY. Combined with generous amounts of time from the gracious Tracie Walker, Tribal Cafe is now a “Bureau Approved” open mic. Every Monday @ 8:30PM 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park).

2) The Comedy Crawl. Do it. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge @ Red Rock 8PM FREE, then Comedy & Cocktails @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then This Is Not Happening Presents: Vendetta @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, then, finally, Chatroulette Live @ The UCB Theatre (again) 11PM $5.

3) As the Comedy Bureau isn’t sanctioned by anyone at all, there is no “real” funding to run the night-to-night of bringing all you Los Angelenos dedicated to performing/seeing live comedy. That’s why there is now a Donation Box where any support to make improve this blog for all, if you’re willing and able, is invaluable. Please give here.

4) Calendars updated yet again. iO West. Spotlight Comedy Club. The Acme Comedy Theatre.

5) Having another go at an Open Mic Run at the Nugget in CSULB & Back Home in Laihaina in Carson. The Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger will again be live tweeting during the run hopefully with more success this time (i.e. finding open mics aren’t cancelled upon showing up) Follow the tweets here.

6) This would be where the commercial break would be: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish. 6:30PM. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. It’s all in the repetition.

7) PLEASE DONATE.

8) Best thing about voting today: Only one more week of voting jokes. I hope…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/1/10

1) Schtick or Treat @ Taix made the word “epic” seem a woeful and paltry adjective in attempting to describe what was one of the best times I’ve ever had a comedy show. Even though there were over 30 performers, it was the epitome of a “good ol’ time” the whole way through. Seriously, what other show in LA can you see “Steve Martin”,“Russell Brand”, “Carrot Top”, “Eddie Pepitone”, “Sarah Silverman”, “Rowdy Roddy Piper”, “Kyle Kinane”, “Gilbert Gottfried”, “Andy Kindler”, “Weird Al Yankovic”, and “Jake Weisman”? That’s right you can’t think of one until 364 days from now, but go to the normally schedule French Toast every Sunday 8:30PM for FREE at the same lovely 321 Lounge @ Taix.

2) Tonight’s “Comedy Crawl” is slightly more manageable, IF YOU CAN TELEPORT!!! Go to What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, then Hotel Cafe Presents: Hotel Comedy @ The Hotel Cafe 9PM $15, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, then make your last “jump” to Crash Test @ The UCB Theatre 11PM $5. BLAM!!! (if that’s the sound you make when/if you teleport)

3) Like I mentioned yesterday, there’s a new feature in a long line of innovations from the Comedy Bureau that allows you to keep track of most regularly scheduled live comedy in LA. NOW UPDATED WITH THE J-SPOT. Other fine comedy establishments soon to follow. Again here it is, The Comedy Bureau’s very own Calendars.

4) Unlike “real people” with “actual money”, comedians have to/should be working on our act and, as such, THE COMEDY BUREAU will be attempting an open mic run of 3 spots, which, if you know anything about driving in LA, is near impossible. Well, IMPOSSIBLE CAN GO TAKE A DIRT NAP!!! TRIBAL CAFE. GROUND ZERO USC. TAIX. The Comedy Bureau’s very own Bureau Director will be live tweeting during this test of endurance/patience/more patience, so stay tuned for the play-by-play right here.

5) At least, someone likes us. Thanks Shayne-Michael.com

6) Now it has a face. The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. NOV. 9TH. 6:30PM. Please don’t forget, mostly because I don’t have any enforceable consequences if you do.

7) Given the impulsive notion of large scale chain retailers in the U.S., is it too early to tell Black Friday jokes?

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Nightly Bulletin 10/31/10

October 31, 2010

Uncategorized

burbank, calendars, comedy, dominic dierkes, echo park, flappers, french toast, hollywood, josh fadem, la, laugh drink repeat, morning debriefing, schtick or treat, taix, ucb

1) Last night was seeming reserved for “getting material” as opposed to actually performing or seeing one of the many damn good shows around town. Let’s just say, I got plenty of material spending a few hours in the early morning hours of Halloween at an El Tacos Gavilan… and none of it was pretty… UNLESS YOU MEAN PRETTY HILARIOUS!!! (seriously, it was quite painful seeing, out of the corner of my eye, obese-trying-way-too-hard-to-be-slutty-girl-devil snarfing down a tray full of greasy, greasy carne asada tacos).

2) Though you’re probably already wearing your costume tour de force ready to destroy Halloween parties across LA county with how ingenious and clever it is, there is still some ghoulish-ly FANTASTIC comedy to go on a Comedy Crawl with Laugh. Drink. Repeat. @ Flappers 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then the amazing Schtick or Treat @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, where several comedians go as several more successful comedians and do their act (sidenote: I’m on this show), then Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then end the night at another late night Mexican hole in the wall taco stand because I really want this to become a bit/hate myself.

3) Ever find yourself just wanting to seeing comedy with utter desperation, but can’t really navigate through comedy club websites to find what the hell is going on? There’s a new feature from the Comedy Bureau that address that extremely specific annoyance AND it’s right here, a page w/links to every frequent comedy venue calendar in LA, except Largo’s as there site is completely Flash based, but I’ll figure out a work around. Again, this amazing innovation for all you LA Comedy denizens is right here.

4) LA Comedian/pratfall extraordinaire Josh Fadem can’t control himself on Halloween. Funny or Die agrees. Check it out here.

5) You should probably give the guy who says that he’s dressed up as a “happier version of himself if he could afford therapy and it actually worked” a break. He’s probably going through something. Maybe he can’t afford an ironically obscure costume or a costume at all or maybe he’s just trying to make up for that one year when he was 8 and dressed up as the Washington Monument and didn’t understand the phallic significance of what he was doing. Just give him a break. OK?

6) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish. Nov. 9th. 6:30PM. Past the point of no return, so it DEFINITELY has to be AWESOME!!! More details will be leaked day by day.

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