la – Page 6 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 12/2/10

1) OPEN LETTER TO PERFORMERS AT OPEN MICS: I know that we are all somewhat selfish, mostly insecure artists begging for validation that due to being in LA usually means laughter/compliments/kudos instead of money. However, at an open mic, the expectation is to WORK OUT material, which means it’s OK if that “brilliant” ten minutes you have just written about your ethnicity doesn’t work. That material “not working” is part of building an act and you have to combine honesty with yourself and faith in your material to “make it work”. So, at an open mic, DON’T ASK THE AUDIENCE/JUST COMICS WHETHER WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS FUNNY OR NOT. Open mics are NOT workshops where talking and asking are permitted. Open mics are intended, though it can be hard to gauge due to the setting, to simulate performing in front of an audience without the pressure. If you really want to know if it was funny, ask yourself, “Did they laugh?” and you’ll have your answer (that’s part of being honest with yourself). Asking for validation not only tests the already short patience of everyone else waiting to go up, but also brings about an atmosphere where everyone feels like they can offer suggestions during other people’s sets, which subsequently ruins the opportunity to try material without a chance for an honest response at all. If it’s quiet during your set at an open mic, do not worry about it as, again, the expectation isn’t to be funny, but to work out your act. In conclusion, at an open mic, stay quiet, listen, and laugh if someone says something funny, then go up and just do your act. That’s it. Do this as much as possible because the comedy community here in LA will recognize and respect “hard work” and you will become better (if you strive to make improvements).

2) Yes, Louis CK is in town, but I can’t afford that so I’m going to a show that very well might be just as good that’s completely free. That’s why I make the COMEDY CRAWL every night to give all you good folks some options. Start off with Christina Davis CD recording @ Room 5 7:30PM $10, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then Comedy and Cocktails @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5, then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Red Zebra @ Crocker Club 8PM FREE, Running Your Mouth-The Game Show @ Hudson Guild Theatre 8PM FREE (call 323-960-5519) then Louis CK: Word @ The Gibson Amphitheatre 8:15PM $57.60, then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then Paul Scheer’s 2nd Annual Sexy Christmas Spectacular @ Largo 9PM $20, then How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont, Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFÉ ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s).

4) As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I’ve updated both the Greater LA Open Mic Map and The Greater LA Comedy Landscape with a “highlighted line” of everything that’s happening comedy wise tonight, which there’s plenty (i.e. the line is all over the place. Check all of this by clicking OPEN MIC RUN and COMEDY CRAWL at the appropriate links posted.

5) The Paul F. Tompkins DVD is finally HERE thanks to the great folks at AST Records! Well, not quite yet… “You Should Have Told Me” will officially drop on Dec. 14th, but will be available for pre-sale next week at AST Records. The Comedy Bureau will remind you plenty until then…

6) If you’re agoraphobic, too acclimatized to LA weather and can’t handle the cold, or just love watching TV, don’t miss Matt Braunger (mentioned several times here at The Comedy Bureau) tonight on Chelsea Lately 11PM on E! and Johnny Pemberton on MTV as the host of Megadrive at 11PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to NEIL HAMBURGER for his “tweeting storm” on the upcoming feature film Yogi Bear-“Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden "picnic baskets” to drug-addicted Oscar voters. #bestpicture/Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned in Poland since “Hitler’s Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also” was banned from theaters in 1967/Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake’s feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film/George W. Bush in “Decision Points”: “Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency”. #true/(CNN): “Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes”/(CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.“ Touring the entire U.S., Neil Hamburger takes his uniquely original brand of comedy that involves clearing his throat all throughout his act and often times holding several drinks while performing to wherever people will appreciate/hate him as he is heckled quite often (he released a record where he is severely heckled), which warrants comparisons to Andy Kaufman’s Tony Clifton. Neil has his own self-titled show in Los Angeles that’s currently on hiatus, but you can enjoy his website here and amazing Twitter here.

8) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon (in conjunction with yesterday’s post): Stand Up Comedy Boot Camp Trailer

9) I’m using Coinstar today to afford lunch. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau and read about the inspired material/comedic journey from this event on Twitter here.

10) Steve-O is headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend. I hate initialisms and think they limit expressivity in the English language, but, seriously WTF!?!?

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/1/10

1) The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre showed how beautiful the concept of a prank could really be. Whether telling stories that are acted out in dazzling fashion of “pranks” being pulled on them or having guest performers pull “pranks” on the entire audience or enacting “The Popcorn Trick”, one never gets a feeling of ill will towards Chris and David Walsh, but, instead, just simply has a spirited fun time. Without tipping off too much, The Walsh Brothers offered an absolutely superb variety of acts ranging from hilarious sketches featuring themselves James Patterson reading letters to Billionaires and their subsequent responses to the amazing Tony Sam as Electroface, an insecure pro-wrestler, to even an amazing part of the show just called ‘Personal Disco’. Though some of The Walsh Brothers act may seem incredibly goofy at the beginning, Chris and David maintain such a great balance of commitment/fearlessness throughout whatever they’re doing on stage that keeps the audience engaged to the end, which is actually quite genius. If you really want to see what I’m talking about, the Walsh Brothers Show takes places frequently at the UCB Theatre and the Walsh Brothers themselves perform all around LA, so check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on upcoming shows.

2) BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME OUT TO BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC LAST NIGHT!! IT WAS SO FANTASTIC WITH RYAN STOUT ACTUALLY COMING DOWN AND ACTUALLY GETTING AN APPLAUSE BREAK THAT IT NECESSITATES ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! DON’T MISS IT NEXT TUESDAY @ SEÑOR FISH, 422 E. 1ST ST. SIGN-UP 6:30PM/STARTS 7PM.

3) I know that already just eye-balling this tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you might feel intimidated, but I’m just going to go ahead and say DEAL WITH IT!!! All these shows are going to be a damn good time and should not be missed. Start off with Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater (awesome video promo) 8PM $5, then Frolic @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Maria Bamford’s Eagle Rock Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation, then You’ve Seen These Guys @ The Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, then Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min., then Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., then finish STRONG with the Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY: A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd st., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The lovely and talented Kate Micucci of Garfunkel and Oates just dropped her solo album Phone Home (don’t worry, Garfunkel and Oates are still together), which I highly suggest that you check out/buy/download/support/listen to when you really need to smile. You can do so right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVEY JOHNSON-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey Johnson is a whirlwind of comedy in LA that definitely needs to be seen live to really experience the full force of hilarity. Performing routinely with some of the best sketch groups in LA, which includes his own “The Doorknockers” with the also amazing Randy Liedtke featured weekly at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch”, Davey Johnson “rolls with it” in the best way possible. You can see Davey tonight in the aforementioned Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $5 and at The Second Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever @ The Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 16th 8PM $10. Also, you can follow Davey on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Doug Stanhope’s Comedy Death Camp

8) Donating blood leaves you sleepy and most likely unable to live tweet about it or subsequently laugh about it. Avoid this situation by donating and following the Comedy Bureau.

9) Sometimes I feel so close to getting somewhere in comedy, which always seems to be accompanied by the feeling of going completely broke.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/29/10

1) RIP Leslie Nielsen-Without Surf Ninjas, I don’t think I would have had a childhood.

2) You want a ‘Recession Special Sale’? Do you want a ‘Holiday Special Sale’? Well, forget both of those because probably the cheapest/best COMEDY CRAWL I’ve ever posted. So start saving with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House FREE, and feel like you’ve gotten your $5 dollars worth by ending the night with Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUGH FACTORY 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6:30PM/10-15 spots available, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts around 7PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles CA (on USC campus between Marks Hall, Marks Tower, and Trojan Residence Hall Dorms)/USC Student Sign-up 9PM/Non-USC Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central just released its list of the best breakout comedians of 2010 and Comedy Bureau favorites Kyle Kinane and Chelsea Peretti (Reggie Watts too, though he’s NYC) made the list. Congratulations to them as they will all be featured on Comedy Central this Friday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic PART 4 is TOMORROW NIGHT and we have RYAN STOUT coming down to perform as a very special guest. Yeah, that’s RYAN STOUT everyone. Plus a happy hour w/$2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, raffles a plenty, etc. Again, TOMORROW Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Señor Fish/422 E. 1st St. (Little Tokyo/near downtown).

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ANDY PETERS–

Hailing from Seattle, Andy now, luckily for us, Los Angeles his home and is a favorite all around the LA comedy circuit from the likes of the Hollywood Improv to the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. Absolutely “tearing it up” on stage with his fierce, irreverent style, one should never miss a chance to see Andy Peters perform. Your next chance will be tonight at Anthill Pub & Grille (C-215 Student Center, UCI, Irvine, CA ) 9PM FREE and at Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv Dec. 1st 10PM $14/2 item min. Also be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Play From Your Fucking Heart

7) So the Comedy Bureau will be at an open mic tonight, so THERE WILL BE LIVE TWEETING (oh, and it will be some fun as this open mic doesn’t have a host). I’ll be taking donations here. I mean, please give… here.

8) Getting ready for a show that takes place after an AA meeting this week. Somehow, I don’t think open mics help that much in this regard.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/28/10

1) Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge was a great old-fashioned time, though in the freshest-hippest way possible. In what can be arguably the “hipster” epicenter of LA in Silverlake, the woman behind Space Boners and quite funny comedienne Barbara Gray manages to make an “alternative comedy” leaning show that is very welcoming and inviting to all. Despite many people thinking of “alternative comedy” as pretentious inside jokes about jokes, the simplistic atmosphere of the Silverlake Lounge coupled with Barbara’s fancy, ornately red and white curtains, which nearly every performer cleverly commented on (Paul Jay: Welcome to my Quinceñera!), set a nice scene for some of LA’s best and most original comics to do what EVERY comedian strives for: entertain a group of people in a darkened room from a lit stage. The intimate, though packed, crowd got an early holiday treat with performances from Dan Borelli, Vance Sanders, Paul Cibis, Jamie Lee, Paul Jay, Andy Peters, Tony Sam, Host Josh Androsky, and Barbara Gray closing out the show with a BANG/musical number (featuring Josh Androsky and Zach Ames). Whether you’re looking for something innovative and new in going out to comedy shows or not, Space Boners is definitely something to consider as it is completely FREE and will give you an enjoyable glimpse into a “different” brand of comedy without it feeling forced on you. Space Boners takes places one Saturday a month @ Silverlake Lounge, 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake) 7PM FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) I’ve never been a big fan of parades, which is essentially just standing, pretending to have fun while other people ACTUALLY have fun on intricately decorated floats/cars/horses/etc. Instead, I would suggest a better time at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Laugh, Drink, Repeat @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, Skinny Sundays @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, and Hollywood Underground @ Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Today is the FINAL DAY for submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic has gotten another sequel and will be having PART 4 this Tuesday with all the same great conventions you’ve come to expect from the trilogy and as well as a special guest performance from the one and only RYAN STOUT. Tues. Nov. 30th. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo/near downtown). DON’T MISS THIS!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HEGARTY-“@jimhegarty ‘Either we break up or I murder you. So really it’s up to you when you think about it.’ #breakuplines” Jim performs is a regular on the LA comedy scene dishing out his great observations on family, Batman, and the Buffalo Bills in third world countries. There’s even more of this at his blog TallJim.com and at his Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Philips Once I was in San Francisco

8) The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS every night here and needs DONATIONS here and will tweet here about I do comedy that needs donations here and how repetition seemingly, for the time being, doesn’t work.

9) I have heard more TSA Pat Down humor than holiday humor over the last few days, which makes me think that comedians are tired of talking about their dysfunctional family holiday dinners and would like TSA pat downs to become a holiday tradition.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/27/10

1) I have to give credit once more to Shayne Michael and the energy he has put back into the iCandy open mic/K.A.S. Comedy Etc. Show. With being one of the longest running open mics in the LA area, iCandy/Coffee Haven has seen its share of highs and lows and with a new sound system and a revitalized format that keeps a good energy about the room (i.e. booked show, raffles, etc.), comics who go to iCandy can expect to actually work on their material, which is the purpose of an open mic.

2) What better way to get into the holiday spirit than going to a run of shows that include the words: milk, asssscat, boners, back room, and family. THUS, don’t miss tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Space Boners Gives Thanks! @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), then The Back Room @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10, and finish with Ron Lynch and Craig Anton host a Tomorrow! Family Thanksgiving @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUNDROMIC 1054 Vine St. Los Angeles, CA/Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St (in alley between 3rd and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) As it was brought to my attention, even though I knew I needed to get around to it, the “Bureau Approved” page is updated again with a section for shows and open mics. Also, the “Calendars” page got updated with Comedy Store Line-ups and link directly to the Largo Calendar. I might be running out of ways to make this easier for you guys… I’m just sayin’.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to PAUL DANKE “@pauldanke every black friday, I get up early, go to best buy, and when the doors open. I rob the shit out of people’s cars. #IPODSFOREVERYONE” When not chilling back in his jean jacket, Paul Danke absolutely rips it on stage. According to several sources, Danke closed out the Holy Fuck! One Year Anniversary like a hero, which is certainly no surprise to the Comedy Bureau. Going up all around town as well as his own fantastic show The Comedy Garage (run with Cornell Reid and Sean Green), Paul has definitely earned his praise for his stand-up as well as doing featured blogging for FunnyorDie.com. You can witness Paul Danke tomorrow at French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE or on his blog The Art of Coming Off Casual or his amazing Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Michael Keaton does Stand-up

7) Donate here. Live Tweeting here. Donate here. Live Tweeting here. (insert catchy jingle that’s so catchy you would actually do either or both of the two)

8) On the subject of handling hecklers: Why is there the type of heckler who interrupts your set and then applauds and congratulates you after you yell at him for 4 minutes ripping him to shreds as a person? There should be a new subcategory of psychological disorders in DSM IV that addresses this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/26/10

1) Forget Black Friday-Jimmy Pardo’s “Pardcast-a-Thon” kicks off 6PM TONIGHT for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

2) Seriously, forget Black Friday and all those relatives that you’re trying to buy cheap gifts to keep up appearances. Instead go on a COMEDY CRAWL that’s not even that long with Lettuce Entertain You (w/Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, Hot Toddy @ iO West 9:30PM (Del Close)/11:30PM (Main Stage) $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: UCB THEATRE 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/10 spots available, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 11/28-12/4. Yeah, it’s real. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Brendon Walsh was on Conan last night. I missed it because I have lost all concept of time and don’t have a DVR. Fortunately TeamCoco.com are good people and have his set right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JERRY BRANDT-@HateJerryBrandt- Awkward Thanksgiving phone conversation with my Dad is done…we can now go back to ignoring each other until Christmas. Over the last year, Jerry Brandt has made his indelible/bitter/funny mark on the “Long Beach Comedy Scene” as well as the rest of LA with his monthly show, “The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ The Puka Bar” and his weekly podcast “Drinking Buddies” with awesome co-host Chris Adams recorded at CSULB. Though his twitter handle is @HateJerryBrandt, he certainly only wants to hate himself in the most self-deprecating, hilarious way possible. Upcoming Shows include: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish 11/30 8PM FREE and Ultimate Laff Down @ Khoury’s 11/2 8:30PM/$7/$10 food-drink min. Be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lenny Bruce-All Alone.

8) The Comedy Bureau is a single man (in every sense of the term) and LIVE TWEETS as an entire agency HERE.

9) You’re saving SOOOOO much money today so you can donate to the Comedy Bureau, right? Please prove this statement true here.

10) Literally, driving home last night, the freeway was already clogged with traffic for Black Friday. I will, for the first time, feel like I’m having a better time than “real people” at an open mic.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/25/10

1) I know you guys need to get to your friends, families, and some damn fine turkey, so I’ll keep this short… well, all of that depends on whether you enjoy reading this blog or not, which, in the case of the “Comedy Blog Reader Masochist”, prompts me to ask, “Why do you exist?”. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!

2) I almost don’t want to call it a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight, but for the sake of branding, I’ll stick with it. Tonight’s Comedy Crawl consists of, meaning this is the only shows going on that I know about, 16 Headlining Comics @ The Original Room of the Comedy Store 9PM $15/2 drink min. AND Free Thanksgiving Dinner @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 1PM/3PM/5PM/7PM FREE (though I think the actual show might have $20 cover according to site). That’s it.

3) NO OPEN MIC RUN FOR TODAY: I don’t even hate myself that much to do an open mic on Thanksgiving and a third of my material is on suicide.

4) The mutli-talented Charlyne Yi finally has The Old Lumps’ (her fantastic band) album “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps” online. Yeah, you’ve seen her in Paper Heart or at her own one-of-a-kind show at the UCB Theatre, but check out her musical side, which is like all her artistic “sides”: a nostalgically rollicking good time that reminds you of the childhood that you might never had, but wish you did. Check “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps" here.

5) Jimmy Pardo is definitely kicking off the Holiday Season right with his ”Pardcast-a-Thon“ going from 6PM tomorrow for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

6) As it premiered yesterday, the ”Bureau Approved“ section of this blog serves as a convenient resource for the best of the best podcasts, webseries, sketches, blog posts, clips, performances, etc. of LA Comedy so you don’t have to search through any of these reports to do so. With that in mind, I’ll start tomorrow to feature items from the ”Bureau Approved“ that I did not have the privilege to witness the inception of in a new feature I’m going to call ”From the Depths of ‘You Should Have Been There’ Lagoon“ or for you initialism-inclined FDYSHBTL. Hopefully, with this, we’ll never forget… (what’s funny that is)

7) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane Where can I get some giant bows for all these Lexuses I’m giving out for Christmas? I’ll look like a real asshole if I don’t wrap them.” Having already been to the Just For Laughs Comedy Fest in Montreal this year and opening for Patton Oswalt, Kyle’s been hitting the road taking his ingenious and hilarious musings on life as a “simple creature” from here in LA all the way to Winnipeg as everyone is finally starting to appreciate how damn funny he is. You can see Kyle next week at Comedy Death Ray @ The UCB Theatre Tues. Nov. 30th 8:30PM $5 or at Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Dec. 4th $5 or on Comedy Central because, yeah, he has a ‘Comedy Central Presents’ special too. Here’s his blog, “Shooting for Third”, and a link to his Twitter here.

8) For “Tip of the Hat”, I literally comb through everyone I follow on twitter, facebook, and tumblr, making it quite a tedious process. However, if you’d like to make it a little easier on me/draw my attention for “Tip of the Hat” consideration, e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with ’for your consideration tip of the hat’ in the subject line.

9) OK, I know this is running a little long, so I’ll cut it short here. I/The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS here, so, for that reason and many others, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau/me here.

10) THIS IS OFFICIALLY A MONTH THAT I’VE BEEN BLOGGING EVERY SINGLE DAY and I haven’t been to therapy yet (on top of doing stand up every night/trying to make money freelancing during the increasingly small time I have day). There should be an award for this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/24/10

1) A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to everyone who caused some GREAT BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! Let’s do it again sometime… MEANING next Tuesday at the same time and in the same place. (hint: Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/next to downtown OR 1st & Alameda) Also, better directions for free parking!

2) Give thanks that you don’t have to find all these great shows for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Go to Nobody Likes Onions @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., Come Out Laughing @ The Long Beach Laugh Factory 8PM $12/2 drink min., Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Beer in the Shower: Pilgrims & Indians-Potluck/Stand-up @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9PM FREE, Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv (yeah, I’d actually go to this one).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Like I always have promised, I bring you the best in LA Comedy and now I’m making it even easier to find it on this blog. The Comedy Bureau now introduces “Bureau Approved”, which everything that pasts the rigorous test (i.e. whether I like it or not) of the Comedy Bureau Comedy Standards and features anything from podcasts to webseries to blog posts to clips of people being on the tube. Check it out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAMIE LEE-@thejamielee Tofurkey? Tofuck yourself. Having already been on Last Comic Standing this year, Jamie has been a real gift to LA Comedy this year during her stay in LA (OK, she’s a NYC comic, but, for now is calling LA her home). Currently, she brings her sharp, witty, and charming comedy to homes around America writing for “Ridiculousness” on MTV and can be seen LIVE on “Crash Test” @ The UCB Theatre 11PM Mon. Nov. 29th and the “Conan Showcase” @ The Hollywood Improv 10PM Tues. Nov. 30th. Here’s her website and her twitter for all the Jamie Lee you can possibly handle… and then some.

6) The Comedy Bureau adds yet another rank to its Chain of Command: Head of Karma Police Russell Corona (don’t worry he can’t actually do anything to anyone). Welcome to the Comedy Bureau, Russell.

7) If you have any suggestions, comments, remarks, just want to say Hi to make sure that I’m still doing OK, etc. for the Comedy Bureau, there is an e-mail that you can send them to at thecomedybureau@gmail.com. So simple that you almost don’t have a reason not to do it.

7) Does the Salvation Army do anything for LA Comedy? I don’t THINK SO! Donate to the Comedy Bureau here.

8) If you’ve ever wondered what a comic thinks while going from open mics to shows to coffee shops and bars to various streets to get/write material, follow the Comedy Bureau on Twitter here. I’m pretty sure a small minority only wonders that, but please “humor” me and do it.

9) Tomorrow will be the ONE MONTH mark that the Comedy Bureau has been officially running. I know it’s not “that” impressive, but I just want to thank everyone for has been following this blog/loving read it/supporting the Comedy Bureau/etc. and point out that, ironically, tomorrow has only one or two comedy events to write about. Thanks again everyone, comics and real people alike!!!

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/23/10

1) Just like “Depression-a-palooza”, “Can You Tell If I’m Kidding? Comedy Show” @ The Edge of the Roof of a 13 Story Parking Garage was also a notable failure. None of that matters though as BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is TONIGHT! Well, as much trouble as comedy, japanese snack foods, $2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, and Russell Corona and I can cause… Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown).

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is not only a big one with some KICKASS shows, but it’s also incredibly easy on the wallet (i.e. you won’t have to eat at Taco Bell tonight). Don’t believe me? try Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5/Free for comics, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 8:30PM FREE, HOLY FUCK! ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Liquid Courage @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min, then finally WitStream LIVE @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, and go eat a steak because you can afford it (unless you’re really poor like me and buy food with change).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour HAVE BEEN EXTENDED. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) As I mentioned, Schtick or Treat was one of the best times I had at comedy show, especially since I got to the privilege to perform. If you missed this amazing once-a-year comedy extravaganza, check out all the highlights right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Andrew Dewitt. Andrew posted a video of him opening an “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: Collector’s Edition Box Set” alone in a basement on his birthday… IN 3 PARTS. It’s pretty damn fantastic, check it here. Andrew came up through the stand up comedy ranks in Chicago and now made his way here in Los Angeles performing all around town. Check out his awesome blog Dorksplosion here.

7) As people constantly ask me, “How do I get ‘Tip of the Hat’ from the Comedy Bureau?” I’ll let you know exactly how I run this fancy little operation. Everyday, I check Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr for tweets, status updates, videos, blog quotes, etc. for the best little gems in comedy in LA. Going from Midnight to Midnight in a single day, I make a short list and then, from there, determine who gets the “Tip of the Hat” and is featured here at the Comedy Bureau along with their twitter, website, blog, etc. So, if you want a “Tip of the Hat”, get to tweeting, facebooking, blogging, youtubing, etc. because I’ll be on the lookout (as I slowly realize that I have less and less of a life). Also, any “Tips of the Hat” will be permanently placed in the “Tip of the Hat Archive” which I just created right here.

8) I know you guys love the blog as much as I love writing it, so give me the opportunity to MAKE IT EVEN BETTER by donating here.

9) Back to LIVE TWEETING and actually going out. Check out if my new “Social Network” material works out here.

10) The Comedy Bureau stats: 92 people like it on Facebook, 49 followers on Twitter, and 30 followers on Tumblr. Only 499,999,829 people to take down Facebook, or at least I think so.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/22/10

1) Depression-a-palooza @ my own head, basically, is something you never want to go to. Last night was the first time I didn’t go out in several months and let’s just hope this doesn’t happen too frequently, mostly because drinking alone is never a pleasant experience (i.e. I tweeted, “Apparently, I’m the star of Home Alone 7: It’s Your Own Fault Because You Won’t Try Online Dating. #straighttovideo #diealone #samething).

2) COMEDY CRAWL Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10, Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour @ Largo 8PM $20, Dame Funny @ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $20/2 drink min., What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7PMish, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8:15PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on eastern most side of USC campus/in between dormitories)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour is taking submissions to come to your house/apartment/living space. Just make a 2 minute video and post it on facebook here to have a chance to have Tig Notaro and her friends have a friggin’ comedy show in your backyard/living room/where you don’t sleep in your living space.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is tomorrow night. Last week I gave away cheeseburger shaped cookies and a 15-min. drop in spot. WHO KNOW WANTS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK?!?!? Show up and find out. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

6) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to ANDRÉS DU BOUCHET for this amazing two-part tweet: “@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written "HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).“ Andrés currently and deservedly writes for Conan here in LA. Here’s his site/blog here and then you can follow him on Twitter here. DO IT NOW!!!

7) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau: "Tip of the Hat” Archive and everything and anything that’s “Bureau Approved” featuring everything that’s already been featured so all of you fine folks can find it quite easily instead of digging through all of these posts like I do.

8) I wouldn’t be asking for a donation if I wasn’t currently writing this blog on my bed. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau so we can change this (mostly for a bigger bed).

9) Planning to watch Social Network today, then write 5 minutes on it. Instead of being on the cutting edge with the latest news, I like being “dollar theater” topical, though I may need to start a show at a dollar theater for it to work.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/21/10

1) Comedy Garage Thanksgiving Charity Bonanza @ The Comedy Garage was quite simply how comedy inside someone’s garage is supposed to be done. Not to be confused with other attempts at “garage” based live comedy, there were no hints of the inner workings of a comedy club (i.e. matching seats, nicely decorated stage, curtain, etc.) and also none of the pain of spending $15 on cover and having to pay a 2 drink minimum as Comedy Garage is completely free and often has beer to go around or, in last night’s case, FOUR LOKO. Instead of that overwhelming nature of a comedy club, there was a very chill, inviting house party atmosphere with people playing beer pong and enjoying each other’s company on the various collections of chairs and couches huddled around the astroturf-covered stage. One comedian during the show actually commented how the garage would be a high school kid’s dream with all the random assortments of snowmen and plastic penguins with a Gene Simmons mask fixed on it, though there was none of that childish negativity that festered back in high school (or at least that was my experience). In fact, the party goes on smoothly for a few hours before the show to get everyone in the perfect mood for a great live comedy show exceptionally produced by Sean Green, Cornell Reid, and Paul Danke. Despite temperatures dipping below 50, the Comedy Garage proved its great reputation for a “damn good time” with a crowd almost entirely of regular audience members who got to enjoy the likes of Brooks Wheelan, Joselyn Hughes, Alysia Wood, Rob Christensen, and the Comedy Garage gang (Sean, Cornell, and Paul) themselves. The Comedy Garage happens one Saturday a month in a garage in Burbank. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Harry Potter is estimated at a $125 million opening this weekend and runs about 2 and ½ hours long. The more than 20 shows that I listed over this weekend didn’t even come close to equaling half a percent of that total and offered about 10 times the duration of amazing entertainment. Yeah, I know the numbers don’t work out exactly, but it’s worth it more to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-Start with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2 (stand-by only), then go to Chris Fairbanks Stand-up Comedy Special Taping @ M-Bar 6:30PM RSVP at fairbankscomedy@gmail.com, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, then Trick @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE, then Comedy Without a Cause @ Boardners 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Dave Nieker’s 5 Comics @ Flappers Burbank YooHoo Room 9PM $10/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM, $5, then Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) With the frequency and ferocity that the Comedy Bureau has been hitting open mics, I’ve updated the Greater LA Open Mic Map with new spots and added the reviews to each spot, letting you know whether it’s “bureau approved” or not right here. Also, the Calendars section just added the Downtown Comedy Club and Second City Hollywood (though I still haven’t figured out a flash workaround that doesn’t take traffic away from their site). Check that out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ABBEY LONDER. On Facebook, Abbey wrote, “Listen lady– I can’t tell whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl. So when I say ‘what’s this little man’s name?’ and you get alllll offended and say ‘what does he look like a boy or something?’ please know that I don’t care. Also: I made your non fat latte with half and half. Happy Holidays, bitch.” Check her out at the Hollywood Improv tonight at 9PM or, if you really like her, go to the second-to-last of her awesome “Sweet and Sour Comedy” at Genghis Cohen this Tuesday 7PM $5/free for comics. Also, THIS is her badass website.

6) I don’t know how Little Tokyo is still standing, but since it is, we’re going to have another BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC this Tuesday Nov. 23rd @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo). Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. HUGE HINT: I try to not cut off the list, meaning if you get there by 9PM, I’ll get you up. Oh yeah, let’s all go to Holy Fuck!’s One Year Anniversary afterwards.

7) LIVE TWEETING/ME TRYING TO KEEP MY SANITY/CONVINCING PEOPLE I’M NOT GOING TO JUMP OFF THE 4TH ST. BRIDGE nightly, all right here.

8) “Going for donation number 2… Donation number 2, anyone? Anybody?”-The Comedy Bureau Donations volunteer…. if we could afford one. Please donate here.

9) It’s amazing how people always tell me these two things about this blog together. "Jake, I love your blog. It fills a need for LA Comedy.“ and "I’m just waiting to see one or two years down the road when your optimism burns out.” I love all of you too.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/20/10

1) Comedy Car Hole @ The Comedy Car Hole has been going for more than 7 years and last night was proof of why. With a tightly run, showcase-style, 90 min. show, the 60+ people in attendance having a great time in the back porch in front of someone’s of garage should give anyone with enough drive, passion, talent, intermittent bits of insanity to build a show wherever they can build one. Doug O. Perkins and Ryan Wise actually make their garage as much of a real venue as they possibly can with comfy seating, a “VIP Lounge”, and a legitimate stage with a legitimate curtain and cleverly built Comedy Car Hole sign. Last night’s crowd, which stuck around even with a slight mist of rain in the air, got to enjoy the likes of Steve Benaquist, Kat Radley, and even Comedy Bureau favorites Lizzy Cooperman and The Walsh Brothers. The Comedy Car Hole is once a month literally in a garage near Santa Monica and is completely free. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) Trinity Open Mic @ Trinity Baptist Church in Santa Monica might sound like one “hell” of an intimidating open mic (OK, the pun was kind of intended). Actually, I have to admit that it was pretty great. All those elements that comedians hate about open mics such as people not listening/caring, the house lights being on or all the light beings completely off, etc. are almost non-existent here. Being in a church basement at 8PM, no one is really being held hostage for the show and thus, people want to listen to what you have to say. As it is a church, you do have to work squeaky clean, but most everything I heard music/comedy/spoken word wise was pretty “secular”. Also, there’s food for a small donation. Though, again, you have to work clean, I’d say this is another “bureau-approved” open mic. Trinity Open Mic is every 1st and 3rd Friday at 8PM in Trinity Baptist Church, 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA.

3) There’s actually a Harry Potter based show that, like it’s filmic inspiration, is sold out and has only stand-by available, but that shouldn’t stop you from some other great shows around town where you won’t have to talk about how you have never read the books and your possible lack of childhood, etc. (is that just me?) Anyways, tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL goes a little something like this: start off early with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand-by only), then go to Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then go to Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then Satuday Night Special @ Flappers-Burbank YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Talent Show @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand-by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Comedy Garage Thanksgiving CHARITY Bonanza! @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM-Party/Show 11PM FREE, then Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow presents the Time Machine Show @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd. and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave. (at Fuller)/6:30PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

5) Kyle Kinane is a comedic genius, another label the Comedy Bureau doesn’t use lightly, ON THE RISE who has been cast in sketches as a rapist and now most recently on Lopez Tonight, a racist stoner. Check it out here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to the one and only Barbara Gray. “@BabsGray Hey guys, what should I eat for lunch? Subway or the barrel of a shotgun?”. Recently, Lionsgate just went with ahead with her short script, and, up ahead, she’s hosting What’s Up Tiger Lily? this week and has her own wonderfully named show Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge coming up next Saturday 11/27. Follow her on twitter here or at her blog here.

7) From one garage with comedy to another…. Guess where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Well… First, at an open mic in a franchise coffee shop, then the Comedy Garage. Follow all the LIVE TWEETING here.

8) If I’ve already gone with the “jedi hand wave” to get you to donate to the Comedy Bureau, I’m invoking it again (imagine it happening right when you’re reading this), so you forget that I might have already done it once and THEN you’ll donate. Please give if you’re willing and able (jedi hand wave again) here.

9) Don’t judge comedy too quickly, unless it starts off “So I’m half…..”. That’s when I’m half on my way to doing something like this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/19/10

1) The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios was one of the best produced shows, thanks to show producers Joel Mandelkorn and Mandee Johnson, that I’ve been to in recent memory. Inside an extremely hip studio space (there’s a bar in the lobby), the set-up for the show was gorgeous. I almost didn’t believe I was at a comedy event with the all the camera equipment, the DJ spinning, food truck, GOOD FREE BEER (not that Tecate BS at most shows), gourmet cookies and cupcakes, and Christmas lights strung beautifully overhead. Already a cool, laid-back party, the Super Serious Show takes everyone’s good time and makes it great once the show actually commences. Every performer got to showcase their brand of humor perfectly as they were lit just right and everyone was seated intimately in addition to the entire line-up being truly some of L.A.’s best in comedy. Last night’s crowd at Smashbox Studios were treated (and then some) to the amazing talents of Sean Conroy, sketch group Birds of Prey (Lizzy Cooperman, Susan Burke, and Emily Maya Mills), Christina Pazsitsky, Marc Maron, and the music/comedic truths of Kirk Zipfel. Admission for the Super Serious Show is $15 at the door, but I say, with all sincerity, it’s entirely worth it. The Super Serious Show is on every third Thursday of the month at Smashbox Studios 8549 Higuera St., Culver City, CA. Pre-sale $10/$15 at door. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one on December 16th.

2) Instead of watching Harry Potter, take a journey on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’s cheaper and won’t make you wait for the second half for several months. Try out Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, then WTF with Marc Maron @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, then The Fake Show @ The Fake Gallery 9PM $10, Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ Club 8572/The Palms @ 9:30PM $10, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and end the night/not be possibly disappointed with a cliffhanger at Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd. in Silverlake/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/8PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood/6PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1019 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) On Thanksgiving week, there is plenty to give thanks for. Here’s one thing: The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List. Thanks also to Wisepix.

5) Zach Sherwin AKA MC Mr. Napkins AKA all-around hilarious comedian is dropping his self-titled album 11/30/10 off of Comedy Central Records. Even if you don’t like rap songs about analyzing rap lyrics, geography, and bees, you should still be on the lookout for it because he’s that good. OR, you can just pre-order it on iTunes here.

6) The Comedy Bureau extends a congratulations to Shayne Michael as winner and Erik D. Schulte as the audience favorite for the first Joe Braza Comedy Invitational.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Paul Jay. “@pauljaycomic Love is: not throwing a nerd fit when your girlfriend watches "Casino” in the wrong aspect ratio.“ Follow him on twitter here or check out his awesome podcast, The Biggest Mistake here.

7) "Misadventures” isn’t exactly how I would describe the nightly explorations of the Comedy Bureau. I think “ceaseless insomnia-induced sojourn” is more appropriate. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun. It just never stops. NEVER. Follow the Comedy Bureau’s LIVE TWEETING of “whatever it is” here.

8) I would like an auctioneer to say, “Do I hear….?” in regards to donating to the Comedy Bureau, but I think they would have to start off with, “Do I hear…. anything?” Change that and donate here.

9) What happened to old school hecklers that actually made some sort of sense when they were interrupting? In this last week, I’ve seen mostly crazy people wearing a bunch of hats simultaneously that just say, “My name is Taxi-cab guy. I like house music.”

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/18/10

1) Due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March 2011.

2) If you were able to make it to the 11 shows I posted yesterday, this should be a breeze, that is, if you killed you’re doppelganger clones. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $15/Free Beer, then Jimmy Dore and Friends @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $12/2 drink min., then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM (call 323-568-1616 for details/to be in audience), then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe (459 N. Roxbury Dr., Beverly Hills, CA) 8PM $5, then The Joe Braza Comedy Invitational Finals @ The Seafood Shack 8:30PM FREE, then The Charlyne Yi Show (she was on Conan last week and I didn’t post it like I should have right here) @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, then WTF? w/Greg Berman @ Flappers Burbank 10PM $12/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1760 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/Must work clean and no material about religion or politics, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Comedy Bureau “Tips its Hat” to Aparna Nancherla today. @aparnapkin “found out that the sound of one hand clapping is me patting myself on the back. #selfcongratulatoryphilosophy” Follow her “musings and amusings” on Twitter here or her blog here.

5) Though Reggie Watts is mainly NYC performer, he’s in town for the week as shown here on Conan. His show at Largo is sold out tonight, but there is a large segment of the LA population that tends to flake out, so show up and maybe you’ll have a chance.

6) The Comedy Bureau would like to welcome a new member in its Chain of Command: Field Liaison Jeremy Paul. Let the title take you wherever you want it to, but Jeremy would like you to know that his dick stays hard and HE JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Once more, welcome to The Comedy Bureau, Jeremy Paul.

7) The Comedy Bureau is out and about in the best and worst of Los Angeles and the Greater LA Metropolitan Area to tell you good decent folk where to go and where to never ever even dream about going in LA Comedy. Find out what’s going on via LIVE TWEETING here.

8) Basically, if you’re not bent on world destruction or don’t think that Dane Cook is what smart comedy sounds like, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau, so we can make those two things never ever happen. Accomplish this right here.

9) Again, due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March, perhaps a few weeks earlier for reasons I’m also legally not allowed to discuss.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/17/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish thanks everyone for coming out and making it a bigger room. Also, thanks to “cheeseburger cookies” that were raffled off tasting like normal vanilla flavored/chocolate filled cookies. Come next Tues. Nov. 23rd for the mayhem/fun and another random Japanese food item. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

2) Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre gave an increasingly rare experience amongst live comedy shows where performers actually talk about themselves as honestly as they possibly can. So much painful/endearing humor can be drawn from the horrible/amazing things that happen in life and Stripped Stories showed, beyond a shadow of doubt, how great that can be. Though the name of the show might lead you to believe it’s just a bunch of vulgar sex stories, I believe that “stripped” is in reference into how every performer on the show strips their normal stage persona and become vulnerable and hilarious in a way that I never expected. In from NYC, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman stopped here in LA with their amazing show at the UCB Theatre and hosted/shared some sensational and hysterical stories with Michelle Buteau, Tony Sam, and a few musical confessions from Wendy Ho. Stripped Stories tours nationwide and check back at the Comedy Bureau for the details for the next show.

3) OK, we’ve talked about cloning and I’m pretty sure traveling through time to get to COMEDY CRAWL in its entirety. Well, you’re going to have to BOTH for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: Start off with The Frolic Show! @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then travel back in time to The Laughing Skull Showcase @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., make a clone, send it to “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then have the clone go back in time to Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8PM FREE, then travel to the future, or present, to Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then meet up with your clone at Biscuits and Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, make another clone and send it to Silver Mullet @ The Hideout 8:30PM FREE, then send the first clone to Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and go ahead and teleport to Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $20, then take yourself to Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 10PM FREE, and then gather everyone at Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, then kill the clones and destroy the time machines because they turned out to be your doppelgangers bent on making 2010 the new 2012.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/6:30PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach CA/8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St. Sign-up 7PM/Starts at 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/can go up multiple times.

5) Holy Fuck! The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Dave Ross. “@davetotheross ask not what your country can do for you… ask China. they have money.” Follow him on Twitter here. Great guy/comedian/obsessed with the F word Dave Ross also his year anniversary of his amazing show Holy Fuck! next Tues., Nov. 23rd, 9PM @ Downtown Independent Theatre, which is something not to be missed.

6) The Comedy Bureau will be in at a few open mics, a comedy competition doing only 3 min., and wondering what has become of the comedy scene in Long Beach tonight. Hear all about it as I’ll/we’ll be LIVE TWEETING the whole time here.

7) Donate and I’ll temporarily lift my belief that karma doesn’t exist AND something good will happen to you. Test that theory here.

8) Tony Parker/Eva Longoria divorce jokes vs. more Prop. 19 failing jokes. I’m wondering which of the two I’ll hear more tonight and why I’d rather hear more 9/11 jokes.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/16/10

1) Performing at Keep it Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House was one of the best times I’ve ever had doing stand-up. With a crowd intent on listening (minus one of the supporting actors from Eastbound and Down that was wasted in the back of the bar), a perfectly darkened room with a spotlight that’s actually not blinding, and Matt Braunger absolutely “killing” it before I have to close the show, I/The Comedy Bureau actually had fun, as amazing hostess JC Coccoli suggested I do. As people already like coming down to 1739 Public House for the 64+ beers on tap/that hip Los Feliz atmosphere, the audience is surprisingly receptive to comedy as they were last night with the great line-up of Margie Kment (French Toast), Jono Zalay, Giulia Rozzi (Kimmel), April Richardson (Chelsea Lately), Matt Braunger (Letterman), and myself/Jake Kroeger/Bureau Director of the Comedy Bureau. Also, if everything else I just mentioned wasn’t enough of an incentive, this show is completely FREE and thus you should come to an edition of Keep It Clean Comedy. Keep It Clean Comedy: Every Monday at 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz). Free.

2) It’s a Little Big COMEDY CRAWL tonight with a light spread of some pretty BIG, fantastic shows. Oxymorons aside, start off with Shits & Giggles @ Club 8572/The Palms 7:30PM $10, then Laughing Skull Comedy Festival Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 8PM/10PM $10/2 item min., then Matty Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge: Writers of Conan Edition @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8:15PM FREE, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), and finish with Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5.

4) Today the Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Josh Haness and also wishes a damn fine birthday. RT @fuzzyjosh This month is National Spousal Abuse/Rape Awareness Month. It is being referred to as “No means NO!vember”. Follow him on Twitter here. Don’t miss his weekly show at Bar Lubitsch, “The Josh and Josh Show” on Thursdays at 8PM.

5) I know I said it already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is tonight and you need to be there to witness a whirlwind of comedy, cheap fish tacos, cheap beer, and raffles a plenty. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/Downtown. Sign up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM. LET’S WREAK SOME HAVOC without breaking anything.

6) The Comedy Bureau’s reach just got a little longer. In a good way. We’re on the national comedy forum “A Special Thing” now, which will just lead you back to here, again, in a good way.

7) Comedy adventures with the Comedy Bureau every night LIVE TWEETED here. Follow as I go anywhere from comedy purgatory to comedy hell (surprisingly large area in LA) to normalcy. Again, right here.

8) “Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is actually a good cause.” -a good person. Listen to this person and donate here.

9) I’m actually happy, which means it’s time to test that common theory that comedy will suffer due to feeling good about yourself…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/15/10

1) There is no such thing as the Library Cafe Open Mic in Los Angeles. (Sidenote: there is a great open mic on Wed. at Library: A Coffee House in Long Beach) This town is so disconnected, so uninformed within itself, and most importantly bad at promoting available stage time. Talking to the owner of Library Cafe in LA, she explained that only the same few people kept coming and it wasn’t that great. That is the result one gets when those “few people” keep an open mic secret, which can be understandable on their end, but this is what you should expect when you only tell a few friends to come on by. Again, LA is so decentralized and unaware that if you want people to come, you have to tell EVERYONE, even if it is free stage time. However, the Comedy Bureau will try to spread the word about new rooms/rooms no one’s ever heard of/rooms in Alhambra, etc. that most people won’t want to drive to.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is almost physically possible. I’m sure this isn’t a stat anybody really cares about, but let’s see how much “Comedy Stamina” you really have. Start off with a heavy laughs at What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill 8PM FREE, then a few more big chuckles at Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then a few more laughs and some smiles at Eli Braden @ Cherry Pit 9PM 749 W. Katella Ave., Orange, CA, and then finish off with mad dash of guffaws at Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705/705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7ishPM/10 min. stage time at least, PUKA BAR/710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/8PM, CASEY’S/613 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, TRIBAL CAFE/1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8PM, GROUND ZERO CAFE/615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC)/USC student Sign-up 9PM/Non Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 Cover/Free coffee & water.

4) The Comedy Bureau tips its hat to none other than Jeremy Paul for sharing this gem "My HMO does not cover titty glitter.“ He keeps saying he is going to die, but he’s going to be funny while doing it. Also, he wants to have his comedy special taped at the Alamo. Follow all of his hopes, dreams, and nightmares here.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition @ Señor Fish is TOMORROW! Comedy, $2 fish tacos, raffles, $3 domestic/$4 imported beers, three mics/three mic stands, and a whole lot more fun surprises. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles (in, you guessed it, Little Tokyo) Sign up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. Do not miss.

6) Well, well, well… if you were wondering A) who writes this blog? B) Where can I see this person perform? C) I know who writes this blog, but when is he ever actually doing a show? D) Why does this person do this to himself? I have all the answers TONIGHT. Go to Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE. (yeah… that means I’m doing the show, so please come, and also get your answers to any of those questions that I’m sure all of you had)

7) As I’ll be performing and acting as the Comedy Bureau simultaneously, I’ll be trying to simultaneously live tweet at with my own personal account here, which only few people follow because it’s most like suicide jokes, and the actual Comedy Bureau account, which people actually like here. Follow both and see what happens.

8) Donate because I’d like to say, "This shit ain’t free, ya know?!?” but unfortunately can’t, because it is…. Please donate and I’ll write something better next time.

9) I’d like to believe that comedy is largely derived from finding the fallacy in what’s accepted, especially since I do stand up comedy and no one ever told me I was funny while growing up.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/14/10

1) “Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch” @ The Steve Allen Theater in all its chaotic hilarity actually spreads an air of actually wanting to “hook-up” as I saw several people, not on the show, exchanging numbers after the show. Host Ron Lynch takes the format of the classic “Dating Game” and nostalgically puts it through a blender to come out with an uproarious live comedy show. There’s an on-call bartender, Davey Johnson as a stressed out stage manager, Brady Novak as a warm-up guy who doesn’t think his career is going to work out, Cornell Reid as the warm-up to the warm-up guy, Randy Liedtke as a psychic/stage hand, “speed rounds” of questioning that no one has ever gotten right, and then the actual questioning of bachelors and bachelorettes for a REAL date. The packed Steve Allen Theater was rolling in laughter the entire time and definitely felt the love. "Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch“ takes the place of the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theater (4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA [Los Feliz]) once a month. Midnight $8. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) I should really go with Comedy Triathlon, but COMEDY CRAWL is catchier and less intimidating. See how much laughter you can handle starting off with LIAR @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., then Chatterbox Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Comedy Revival @ Comedy Store Belly Room 8:30PM $5/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5/21 and over only, and cross the finish line at Sunday Sunday Sunday @ The Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY CAFE 800 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA 5PM (going to check this one out today), SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA 5PM-11PM/$5 cover.

4) The Comedy Bureau is calling an audible by switching it’s Twitter Tip of the Hat to a Tip of the Hat of anything twitter/facebook/video/etc./etc. that’s worthy of mention. Today’s tip of the hat goes to the hilarious and incredibly bold Asterios Kokkinos. Perhaps "bold” isn’t the right word, but judge for yourself by watching him pitch horrible script ideas at a pitch convention here.

6) REVIEWS relinked. Just like I promised, though I broke probably 10 other promises in the promise, but when they’re promises to yourself that you would finish this post by 11PM, it’s OK, right? Again, updated reviews here.

7) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition, this Tues. Nov. 16th @ Señor Fish. Shameless promotion tactic #13: Raffling off random Japanese Food Item. Sign Up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. Do not miss.

8) The Comedy Bureau has “mission objectives”. See if it completes them via his twitter account right here.

9) Be the 2nd Person ever to donate to the Comedy Bureau and go down in history. Seriously. Doubt it? Only one way to find out… DONATE.

10) I’m just going to say being a nice guy both won and was funny last night. Usually, it’s just funny and then nobody wants to hear how sad it is several months later.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/13/10

1) The Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre took me by surprise, in the best way possible, even when I expected the “unexpected”. Having already seen the lovely and talented duo of Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome separately, I suspected farcical/risqué songs from the unassuming, almost incongruous pair (Lindhome is a foot taller and plays guitar next to the petit Micucci who plays a ukelele). Yet, their abundant charm coupled with their cleverly worded and obscure reference-filled (John Donne and Spiro Agnew, just to name a few) songs about douchebags ruining the party, sex with animals, and the learning curve of hand jobs, was far past anything I had in mind for the evening. AND THEN… Justin Long, who, according to Lindhome, has only been in Herbie: Fully Loaded, read published poems by Michael Madsen that could be described as transcendent… via a certain, horrible, undeserving self-importance. One of the poems is merely about watching out for “the shit” because it’s “everywhere”. It was another thing in the Garfunkel and Oates Hour that completely blindsided me as I usually don’t expect much out of big-shot actors performing live comedy. The Garfunkel and Oates Hour is every 2nd Friday of the month at the UCB Theatre, 5919 Franklin Ave. 8PM/$10. They also perform at several other venues/dates around LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details.

2) Yeah, I know it’s Saturday and Manny Pacquiao is going to beat whatever daylights that Antonio Margarito has left in him, which is EXACTLY the point. I KNOW THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. There’s no suspense left, which is why you should go see some great live comedy instead. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL starts off with Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then B.O.R.E.D. Tour starring Mike Phirman @ Flappers Burbank-YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Nick Kroll Does Comedy @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Showbizzle.com’s Last Call Comedy @ Hollywood Improv 11:30PM $14/2 item min., then Midnight Madness @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 11:59PM $20/2 drink min., and then finish strong with a knockout at Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow! presents HOOK-UP! @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: MARTY’S 5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), SUNSET GRILL 7PM/one item min./7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA, BURBANK MOOSE LODGE 7:30PM/1901 W. Burbank Blvd. Call (818)-843-0284 before going as I’ve never tried this mic before.

4) Today’s Comedy Bureau’s Twitter Tip of the Hat goes to JIM HAMILTON. “@Jim_Hamilton I don’t know what to wear this time of year, because the only clothes I own are Hypercolor shirts and Christmas sweaters.” Follow him and some of the best one-liners in LA here.

5) The Greater LA Open Mic Map has been updated, specifically put in order by day and time so it’s EVEN EASIER for any and all of you aspiring/working/making-it comics wanting to find an open mic. Any listings without details are as such because I have yet to actually go there and see how horrible/tolerable it is. More info on each individual room to be added soon. Check all of the above here.

6) That REVIEWS archive I promised, right here. Everything will be re-linked tomorrow, mostly so I have something else to write about.

7) Follow the Comedy Bureau on its not-all-that-secret mission to bring great comedy out to the deserving public on twitter as it live tweets every night. Do so right here.

8) I wonder what a Comedy Bureau jingle would sound like… support/donate and find out here.

9) I convinced someone to try stand-up last night and I can’t help but wonder if I did a bad thing… He might have been President, but now he’ll try to be one of us wondering what angle about the President hasn’t been explored at an open mic. Luckily, I don’t believe in karma.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Daily Report 11/12/10

1) Holy Fuck! @ The Downtown Independent Theatre deservedly earned it’s name last night. Despite it being on a night that it isn’t usually scheduled on, the presence of the Downtown LA Artwalk, another live stand up comedy show also in Downtown LA, Holy Fuck! told the odds to go seriously FUCK themselves as an entire movie theatre (over 100 people) showed up to see some of LA’s heaviest hitters in comedy. In fact, show producer/awesome comedian/all around great guy Dave Ross proves that, if done correctly, you can make a great comedy show in a completely non-traditional comedy venue at the ultra-hip Downtown Independent Theatre. When Louis CK dropped in a few months ago, he pointed out the high ceilings, the deep stadium seating, and several other obstacles comedians would have to fight while perform and got HUGE LAUGHS will doing it. On this edition of Holy Fuck!, the huge crowd that told the artwalk to fuck off were almost spoiled with performances from cross-dressing/straight-man (you read that right)/host for the evening Rye Silverman, Zach Ames, Ed Salazar, Susan Burke, Howard Kremer, musical duo Limo Driver, Dave Ross, Laura Kightlinger, and the one and only (and the Comedy Bureau uses that phrase sparingly) Eddie Pepitone. OH, DID I MENTION IT’S FREE?!? It’s a completely free show that you should never miss on pain of kicking yourself in the face. Holy Fuck! is usually on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. 9PM. HOLY FUCKING FREE! @ Downtown Independent Theatre 251 S. Main St. Stay tuned here for details.

2) Hopefully the COMEDY CRAWL will put the Artwalk to shame. We can start off to that goal tonight by going to Ron Lynch @ Flappers Yoo Hoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then go to Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then go to Race Riot @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5, then go to Garfunkel & Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre $10 (stand by only), then go to 10 Comics in the Lounge @ Comedy and Magic Club 8:15PM $10, then go to Tremendosaur and Friends @ Tommy’s Place/USC 9PM FREE, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, then finish off with Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5. Once again, you’re welcome.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE-sign up (lottery) at 6:30PM/starts at 7PM/2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake), iCANDY-sign up at 6PM/starts at 7PM/1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA, GLENDALE DAYS INN-8PM/450 Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA, NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON -9PM/4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/message host David Marley for sign-up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC-5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s & Big Papa’s)

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List strikes again for 11/14-11/20… in a for-the-good-of-mankind way. Thanks Wisepix.

5) The Comedy Bureau tips it’s non-existent/metaphorical Twitter hat today to Lizzy Cooperman. RT @lizzycoooperman You call him a bad dancer. I call him a handicapped centipede. #twoleftfeet. Follow her here.

6) It has been brought to the Comedy Bureau’s attention that actual people read and appreciate the reviews featured here. As this is the case, there will be a REVIEWS archive in case you were ever wondering which are the hot shows to check out in the vast decentralized amazing place that LA is AND you didn’t want to scroll and search through all these posts looking for it.

7) Whatever the Comedy Bureau is doing tonight in comedy, with comedy, or any other preposition related to comedy will be live tweeted here. Please follow.

8) If you like Morning Debriefings more than Daily Reports, donate to the Comedy Bureau as it needs to make money doing this in its spare time AKA pretty much every waking minute. Again, donate.

9) Doing comedy every night literally stretches time as two weeks ago seems like two months to me, which makes me feel better as it seems I’ve been doing this blog a lot longer than I actually have. Though, it also makes it seem like I’ve been alone a lot longer (i.e. years seem like epochs)

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/11/10

1) Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics IS simply what people should expect out of a good comedy show. Packed house and a great line-up (free beer also helps). Unfortunately, a large segment of the population, not only in LA, but around the whole country have a different idea of what a live comedy show actually is. Hilarious comedienne Chelsea Peretti pointed it out so poignantly during the evening when she mentioned how she would rather be a fat guy and THEN the audience would understand that “comedy was happening” and shout, “WE GET IT! WE GET IT!” The stereotype of an overweight vulgar man making fun of audience members then hitting on their date when they go to the bathroom has been reinforced by far too many comedy clubs. Meltdown has the potential to prove this stereotype FALSE of live comedy as I sat right in front as part of a crowd of about 100 for the entire show and was not made fun of once AND had a fantastic time. Host Jonah Ray, after thanking people for not watching Gallagher at Club Nokia, let Meltdown rip with awesome performances from Ali Wong, Jerrod Carmichael, Randy Liedtke, Nick Kroll as force of nature Fabrice Fabrice, Seth Morris, Steve Agee, and Chelsea Peretti THEN Kumail Nanjiani apologized for not being there by texting a joke. Again, this is what people should expect from a live comedy show. Meltdown is every Wednesday 8:30PM $8 @ Meltdown Comics, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

2) The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ The Next Stage Theatre is the FUTURE of a live comedy show. Andre Hyland, as his absurdly fast-on-his-feet character Jesse Miller, hosts an off-air late night talk show that because of its brilliance, as sensational guest Joe Wagner commented, should be on TV. With completely dead-pan and completely hilarious musical sidekick Daryl and princess/straight-up girl/Jesse Miller Talk Show dancer Tanya, Jesse Miller takes absurdity in comedy to another level as he might seem like an unassuming yokel from Norwood, OH, but can rattle off quips, comebacks, and obscure Sonic Youth references with the best of them. Formatted with four amazing performers, a video of Jesse Miller (this edition included him in Cincinnati showing his Bengals Superbowl tattoo to people on game day), a heartfelt, bone-crushing song from Daryl, gut-busting interviews of all the guests, and an EATING CONTEST, there is no way you can beat entertainment like that for $5 on a late Tuesday night. “Straight-up hell yeah props” to Nicholas Rutherford, Melinda Hill, Joe Wagner, and Chris Fairbanks as last night’s line-up. The Jesse Miller Talk Show is on one Tuesday a month 11PM $5/one free beer @ The Next Stage Theatre, 1523 N. La Brea, Hollywood, CA (2nd Floor).

3) For all of you in the LA comedy community, the entire Comedy Bureau watched over 5 hours of live comedy yesterday.

4) For tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you need to discover instant cloning to not miss anyone of these shows. Seriously, get on it. Start off with Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Loft 8PM (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then send your clone to Wil Anderson w/Brent Weinbach @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item minimum, then “original you” go to The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then your clone should go to Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent 9PM FREE, then you go to Facepush @ Flappers-Burbank 9:30PM $10/2 item min. Make sure to kill your clone at the end of the night, mostly to prevent any bad reality show being made from your lives.

5) Brand spanking new Comedy Bureau feature, as promised, OPEN MIC RUN. For all you comics trying the impossible by getting up more than once in LA try this: Go to SANDWICH SPOT 7PM, 3101 Ocean Park Ave, Santa Monica, CA, TKO SHOW @ 212 Cafe 9PM, 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA, CAFE ON 2ND 7:30PM 7 S. 2nd St./$3 cover/10 min. at least., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 5PM-11PM, 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA $5 cover/free coffee & bottled water/go up as many times as you want. Just do it (and maybe get some laughs).

6) The Comedy Bureau will be live tweeting throughout tonight’s comedy odyssey. Follow here.

7) Announcing another new feature in the works: The Comedy Bureau will tip its proverbial hat, because we can’t afford a real one, to a single tweet a day from all the amazing LA based comedians it tracks on Twitter. Not only will they be retweeted, but they will be mentioned here and if its popular enough, maybe will have contest with a TBD prize.

8) The Comedy Bureau needs your support both in the way of hugs AND donations. Please donate here.

8) With Veteran’s Day here, please honor all the men and women serving our country and keeping us safe so we can stay out until 3AM talking about how we hate dick jokes/dick jokes.

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Morning Debriefing 11/10/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish was one hell of a destructive/fun time!!! Thanks to everyone who came out and we’re only going to wreak more havoc next week (as long as we keep the building intact)! Next one’s Tues. Nov. 16th Sign-up @ 6:30PM, Starts @ 7PM. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo).

2) This edition of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL brought to you by a brief foray into sanity as I actually got some sleep last night. Let’s RUIN that with some F’N GREAT COMEDY starting off with “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then go to Bay Hilarea @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then going to The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then going to Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Inn Cocktail Lounge 10PM FREE, then Music Jam w/Garfunkel & Oates @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 item min., and The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, AND Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5. Yeah, I won’t be sleeping tonight and enjoying every minute of it.

3) PARKING. I have mentioned it before, but it’s such a pressing problem among the comedy community here in LA. In general, LA Parking Enforcement harasses the average citizen daily with annoying parking tickets for being in a passenger loading zone at 1AM that sometimes can be the tipping point to a violent rampage (I’ve never succumb to such urges). As performers who largely work for FREE that depend on any any and every piece of stage time they can get and largely cannot afford a collection of parking tickets, available free parking is a scarce resource. This should not be the case and I would push for some form of a Performers Exemption Parking Permit or something to avoid driving around in circles for 30 min. to wait 2 hours to do 6 min. on stage. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!

4) Yeah.. Rory Scovel was on Jimmy Fallon last night. Here he is again.

5) In addition to updating the Comedy Bureau Maps soon, the Comedy Bureau will soon bring all of you LA Comedy denizens a Podcast Roll and a Featured Videos so it will be even easier to find all the ridiculously, absurdly, funny stuff archived in the Comedy Bureau storage.

6) The “don’t-call-my-bluff-even-though-have-nothing-whatsoever-to-back-it-up-so-please-just-give-in-for-my-sake-cause-you-guys-like-me” angle: Donate to the Comedy Bureau or the cat gets it! Donate!

7) Never go it completely alone in comedy. You’re suicide jokes will become too real or you’ll become fake. Thanks to all my friends/family/supporters/fans for keeping me going. Really, with all sincerity, thank you.

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Post Brunch Update 11/9/10

1) IT’S HERE (fear/surprise)! The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish is tonight and it’s definitely going to be something that Jack Burton COULDN’T HANDLE! Not to REALLY worry, as I, Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger, is on the case along with some guy named russell corona too. The brilliant Joe Braza and sensational Lauren Rochelle will be gracing our stage for this awesome inaugural night. Raffle for 2 “15 min. drop in spots” the following week, $2 damn good fish tacos, a stage, 50 ft. cable, and some other aces up my sleeve that Jack Burton also couldn’t handle. 6:30PM Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Come down, IF YOU DARE… (no, just come… it’ll be a great ol’ time, I swear…)

2) So those not lucky enough to witness the live tweeting at Marty’s/The Open Mic missed out on me doing jokes vs. a helicopter and though I tweeted otherwise, I won. My jokes beat out a HELICOPTER! This mostly means I made the four people watching me out on the patio laugh. Don’t worry. At Marty’s, there is an actual stage with various lounge and office chairs positioned intimately. In fact, with that patio/performing area, there are often times two stages going on AT THE SAME TIME, so you don’t have to wait that long before going up again. You also read that right, you get to go up more than once at Marty’s. You actually get to go up as many times as you want from 5PM to 11PM EVERYDAY to really tighten/break-in any aspect of your act. Even though there’s a $5 cover (which also affords you decent coffee and bottled water), going up several times a night on a given night during the week is invaluable. Marty’s/The Open Mic $5 5PM to 11PM/Everyday. 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

3) “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill last night proved why it’s in the small company of the longest running independent comedy shows in LA. Simply,“What’s Up Tiger Lily?” has some of the funniest people not only in LA, but throughout the world (Louis CK has dropped-in), that you can see for absolutely free (no cover/no min./free parking). It will prove that Stand Up Comedy is very much alive, despite the impression one gets largely from TV and foul-mouthed shock and awe comics. Always exactly on-point with all his comedy, Matt Knudsen hosted this edition of “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” with some of comedy’s best that “leave-the-building-in-ruins” including Ryan Stout, Nick Kroll, Jamie Lee, Nicholas Rutherford, Doug Mellard, Dave Huntsberger, and Matt Champagne. I actually convinced a couple who weren’t there for “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” to stay and watch the show because the line-up was that damn good. "What’s Up Tiger Lily?“ Every Mon. 8PM. COMPLETELY FREE. Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill. 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

4) Yes there’s some Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, but there’s some safe, hilarious, good times elsewhere in LA on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start off with Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics/message Abbey Londer for comp list), then go to Laugh for Sight @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $50/2 item min., then go to Comedy Death Ray 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Sausage and Smiles @ DiPiazza’s 9PM $5, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and finish off with Killing Room @ Palms/Club 8572 9:30PM $10.

5) If you’re again saying to yourself, "Inside, you win. I’m just going to stay at home,” you might have some issues that I can’t help and you should probably watch the second episode of Conan’s triumphant return to TV at 11PM on TBS, then watch another quarter of the awesome Southern Comedy Quartet, Rory Scovel on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon 12:35AM on NBC.

6) The Comedy Bureau would like to its relatively long reach, depending on how you look at our scope of LA Comedy, for a congratuations to Josh Covitt for winning X-ecution Improv Tournament and wishes him the best in making his way even further towards the top of the proverbial comedy mountain.

7) Support the Comedy Bureau because it supports you, that is, if you like LA Comedy. If not, well… just donate for taxes purposes/supporting the arts/doing your good deed for the day. Please.

8) Comedy Milestone: I’m so funny I got free dinner without even performing. Obviously, I haven’t had that many comedy milestones.

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Morning Debriefing 11/8/10

1) Tales of the Black Freighter @ R-Bar is what people should think of a LA comedy show, as opposed to what they might see at the Comedy Store and the Hollywood Improv on a given night. Located in the heart of K-town on 8th St., as opposed to the gentrified glitz of Wilshire Blvd., with several Mexican hole-in-the-walls and Korean BBQs, one walks into R-bar and is immediately transported into yet another state of mind with there being a password (that they will just give you) to enter the extremely intimate bar, an entirely dark wooded interior, and offerings of the Sazerac from the friendly, neighborly staff AND THEN, there’s a great comedy show. With Last Comic Standing Finalist James Adomian hosting and telling his version of Russian joke families, Eddie Pepitone, Karl Hess, Jimmy Dore, and Eric Andre gave the audience the complete fantastically opposite experience of a Hollywood comedy show. Details of the Tales of the Black Frieghter will come as the Comedy Bureau receives them, but there is another regularly scheduled, one-Tuesday-a-month live comedy show at R-bar (3331 W. 8th St., Los Angeles, CA) called Blamblamblam hosted by Matt Peters. Don’t miss the next one on this Tues. Nov. 9th at 9PM for FREE.

2) We still haven’t hit a night without a fantastic “Comedy Crawl” and tonight is certainly no exception. In fact, it’s going to one damn good night of comedy, that’s almost entirely free, on a daylight savings Monday that certainly needs it. Start off with some What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ The Puka Bar 8:30PM FREE, Stand Up Comedy Night @ Old Towne Pub (66 N. Fair Oaks, Pasadena, CA) 10PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10:30PM FREE, and finish it off with The Incubator @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) If anyone actually followed the live tweet of last night’s sojourn to Sushi King for the supposed midnight open mic, you would have found that they moved it to Tuesday. Personal sidenote: I don’t know how receptive Sushi King is to comedy if they ACTUALLY THOUGHT I was going to have sushi delivered from Hollywood to Long Beach after I showed up for a comedy open mic at midnight. Live tweeting tonight from Marty’s/The Open Mic at 5PM. Follow here.

4) If you are opting to stay at home tonight, you better be watching the return of Conan O’Brien on TV/the world having hope or at least having some great fun before it goes down in flames. 11PM on TBS.

5) RT @ Braunger LA comics! @sarahtiana is collecting merch for the troops. Drop off your CDs, records, etc at the Improv, Comedy Store, and the Icehouse.

6) I’ll say it again: Greater LA Open Mic Map. Greater LA Comedy Landscape. Both now with buttons and will be updated regularly. I wish paying my overdue parking ticket was this easy.

7) DON’T HAVE FEAR even though there will be some Big Trouble in Little Tokyo with the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic kicking off and kicking hard tomorrow night Tues. Nov. 9th at 6:30PM. Please don’t be square/no show. Come to Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st. St., Los Angeles, CA (I apologize. You can be square, but please come down because it will be “that” much greater if you do)

8) I could give you a million very depressing reasons that no one really needs to hear about what I go through to run the Comedy Bureau, but, instead, I’m just going to say, if you are able and willing, please donate here.

9) Walking for 2 hours around Koreatown, horribly alone, might just be a great way to get material, though I’m pretty sure writing, “You ever been so alone that you wished you’ve been mugged just to remind you of your existence?” isn’t really all that funny. It sounds “forced”, but I’ll find that out for sure at an open mic tonight.

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