hollywood – Page 23 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 12/16/10

1) Apparently, enough people read this blog in the LA comedy community so that The World Famous Comedy Store has taken notice.

The last time I heard anything from anybody at the Comedy Store was a couple a months ago when someone asked me, “Can you bring 5 people?” I’m glad that writing ABOUT comedy as opposed to writing and performing comedy, which I still voraciously commit myself to daily/nightly, is getting me somewhere. Thanks to all who read and there will be a night that I go to the Comedy Store/Improv/Ice House/etc. after I get some cash from Christmas “returns” and I’ll be pleasantly surprised if anybody knows who I am.

2) Yeah, there’s 12 shows on this list. Can I make it to all of them? Of course I can and so should you (STOP WORKING OUT THE “MOVIE PHYSICS” IN YOUR HEAD!!!) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL includes The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $18, Crisis on Infinite Comics and Comics 3-yr. Anniversary @ Meltdown Comics 7PM $5, Charlyne Yi @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Subversive Comedy w/Jimmy Dore & Friends @ Flappers Claremont 8PM $12/2 drink min., Comedy90210 @ Roxybury Cafe 8PM $5, 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE, Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 8PM $30/2 drink min., 2nd Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever!!! @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10/Two-for-one $5 each, Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE, Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 8PM $17/2 drink min., The Produce Section Show @ 767 Central Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown) 8PM FREE (say “produce section” to doorman to get in), and certainly the last, but not least by any stretch of the imagination The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE. Not that bad, right?

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE 1061 S. La Brea, Inglewood, CA/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) There are actually more open mics that happen than what I list daily above in the “OPEN MIC RUN” feature. That rundown basically lists what I think is worth your time on a nightly basis, more or less (i.e. you won’t want to entirely quit comedy after doing those rooms). For an even more comprehensive listing, go to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, which lists every open mic I know of (constantly updated).

5) Maria Bamford’s One-Hour Homemade Christmas Special! FREE! RIGHT HERE! FROM THE COMFORT OF THE VERY POSITION THAT YOU’RE SITTING IN!!!

6) For the Comedy Bureau “Tip of the Hat”, I follow over 300 people on Twitter, am friends with over 300 comics on Facebook, and follow over 80 people on Tumblr, ALL OF WHICH IS READ BY ME (that does indeed me I read every f’n tweet/blog of every person I follow). This is why I’m severely curtailing following more people on Twitter and Tumblr to keep my sanity. However, if you want to be considered for the “Tip of the Hat”, you can make my life infinitely easier by submitting a status update/tweet/quote/blog post/joke/video/picture that you took/etc. to thecomedybureau@gmail.com with your name, “FYC Tip of the Hat”, and the date in the subject line. Speaking of which…

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVE ROSS-“@davetotheross honestly ladies, a side-hug might as well be a fork in the eye.” Dave Ross joins the “Tip of the Hat x 2 Club” here and deservedly so with his dominating and hilarious online presence (Dave’s Cats and Pussy Podcast was nominated by Punchline Magazine as one of the Best New Podcasts of 2010) and his show Holy Fuck!, one of my favorites about town. So… check out Dave’s fantastic website and follow him on Twitter and don’t miss the next edition of Holy Fuck! next Tuesday Dec. 21st at the Downtown Independent Theatre for completely fucking FREE!!!

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks on Marketing (RIP Bill Hicks… Dec. 16th was his birthday)

9) “Build it and they will donate.”-Cheap attempt #23 to get people to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

10) TONIGHT: LIVE TWEETING at a Run of Shows OR Open Mics—-follow here to find out where my comedy misadventures take me tonight. (Perhaps I’ll try some of that Asian Christmas work party material….)

11) When going over a joke with the word “normalcy” in it, someone once told me that “normalcy” was a big word. Perhaps, he’s the type of person that would only understand the term “double plus normal way”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

1) It’s the nature of any comedy scene that shows come and go, but it’s a real tragedy to see a show put on by great people shut down. In the past week, two such shows, Sweet and Sour Comedy and The Akaaba Presents, reached their end of their runs due to the unfortunate circumstance that the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area is overrun with comedy shows as you can see in the “The Greater LA Comedy Landscape” Map. Abbey Londer (Sweet and Sour Comedy), Jeremy Paul & Joe Braza (The Akaaba Presents) are some of the funniest and best, most decent people I have come to know in LA comedy, but, most venues don’t really care about the intangibles of comedy so much as they care about turning a profit off of a show whether it’s well-produced and truly funny OR abusively-run and hacky. With a city overpopulated with live comedy shows/venues and the predominant perception of live comedy being loud-mouthed, rude, and completely uncouth that relies more on shock and x-rated content than any sort of comedic artistry, getting the average “real” person to a comedy show in LA is almost a miracle. To have things change in LA Comedy, and to even suggest this in times like these requires a serious lack of sanity, is to change people’s perceptions of what comedy really is or at least broaden their idea of it to include smart, insightful humor from incredibly hard-working and talented folks that perform night in and night out mostly for free. Most people aren’t even aware that “we”, (in case you are a real person that hasn’t met me personally, I’m one of “those” comics too) exist and I try to remedy that problem as much as I can through this blog and The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List, but really, I’m only one guy with a laptop, a camera, an iPhone, and some decent material. Perhaps, in the coming year, the Comedy Bureau will grow to a big enough proportion where change can be affected through one fell swoop of me typing so I won’t have to worry about trying to see damn hilarious people like Abbey, Jeremy, and Joe live because their shows ended permanently. Check back here for progress on that front.

2) This entire week’s COMEDY CRAWL is seemingly jam packed before most shows go into hibernation for the holidays, so make sure you catch all the comedy you can before you stuck with a season of a TV show you didn’t want on DVD. Start with Merrillwood Live @ Paul G Gleason Theatre 7PM FREE, then Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 7:30PM $5, then “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour Christmas Special @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then The Nerdist Presents “Comics You Should Know” @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15, then The Long Shot Podcast Season 2 Finale @ The Fake Gallery 8:30PM $5, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, and finish with Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/7PM to 8:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” officially dropped yesterday on AST Records and, yes, you should have picked it up yesterday, but, now, you can make up for that by picking it up today.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT CHAMPAGNE-Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.”
Matt Champagne is simultaneously witty and insightful and then incredibly animated when he takes the stage, which is why he is a favorite of many rooms in LA. You can catch him live tomorrow at A Pint of Funny @ O’Brien’s Pub (2941 Main St., Santa Monica, CA) 8PM and you should never miss his daily thoughts in word form on his blog I Remain Champagne.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Norm MacDonald’s Final Appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

7) I already made a plug for donations above, so…. I’ll just do it again here.

8) An elderly woman a few nights ago softly clasped my forearm and said, “I’m looking for a young Steven Wright.” I did walk away and was shocked by the, at least, 40 years age difference AND the fact she obviously never listened to anything I said because I don’t do one-liners.

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Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

1) The following is a page from one of my various comedy notebooks. I almost forgot that I had written this down, but I’ll just say this is probably something that all of comedians and comediennes go through. Well, I hope so….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is one for the ages, certainly this year, and one that I won’t waste on clever quips and metaphors. LET’S GO to Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH/LAST SHOW EVER @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics w/RSVP), then Pink Door Cancer Fundraiser for Joan Miracle and Linda Gysin @ Harvelle’s Blues Bar 7:30PM $20, then Out West Holiday Extravaganza @ RoosterFish 8PM $5, then Drew Carey and the Improv All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray Best Christmas Nativity Pageant Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $25 (stand by only), then Hamclown 2 @ Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor/The Mezz) 8:30PM FREE, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and if you’re still alive, finish with G-damn Comedy Jam @ Mare’ka 9PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, THE COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

6) As mentioned in the “Open Mic Run” feature above, THERE GON’ BE SOME BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! TONY SAM AND JAMIE LEE GON’ BRING THE PAIN!!! (no structures and/or person/persons shall be harmed during the duration of this open mic) As always, $2 fish tacos, delicious potatoes tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported, and raffles a plenty down at SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JOSH FADEM-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Spinning, whirring, and crashing throughout on any given night on any given stage, Josh Fadem combines a smart sense of humor with the comedic sensibilities of Tex Avery and is quite the treat to see live. That’s why he’s one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch of this year. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show Also, don’t miss him on Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

10) Since none of you got back to me on the idea of wearing a reporter’s fedora when out at the Comedy Bureau, I’ll just go ahead and do it and perhaps suffer the consequences, if there are any, or…. yeah, that’s probably the only thing that’ll happen.

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Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

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Morning Debriefing 12/13/10

1) French Toast @ Taix is the “pleasant surprise” kind of a show. Actually, it’s one hell of a surprise as you are sitting in the lounge of French countryside themed restaurant in Echo Park, Taix, an establishment where comedy might just seem out of place, thinking, “How exactly is this show going to happen?” and then are in for a comedy treat almost in the spirit of the name of the show. Taking cues from comedy venues of the past, French Toast puts on their show right in front of a brick wall with a lovely decorative fireplace and give you a good old fashioned stand-up comedy show with some of the best, trailblazing comics, up n’ coming comics in the country.

Without EVER running too long, host/co-founder Margie Kment

and guest host Heidi Hayward

(co-founder/normal co-host Zach Sherwin could not be in attendance) ensure a tightly run show that proves Margie’s own words of “keep them wanting more.” Last night’s incredibly lucky crowd of both comedy fans and open minded people that stuck around for the show were treated to the likes of comics such as Kyle Kinane (pictured at top), Maria Bamford,

Paul Jay,

Holly Mills,

Nick Thune,

and TJ Miller. Anywhere else in the country, outside of NYC and maybe Chicago, it’s nearly impossible to have a line-up like this in such an intimate venue without charging the audience a single penny to watch the show. In other words, don’t let your Sunday nights in LA drift off in a stupor of watching whatever happens to be on TV, when there’s a great free comedy show. French Toast is on every Sunday at Taix (1911 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA in Echo Park) for FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) While your plans for world domination are still in their formative stages, take a break and go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then go to The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ Puka Bar 8PM FREE, then go to Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, then Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House w/Ed Greer, Levi MacDougall, Matt Peters, Tess Barker, Michael Gelbart, and Rye Silverman (1739 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE, then finish with a “yippee-kay-yea motherfucker” at 1988 Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand-by only)

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/One item min., CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, SECOND CITY HOLLYWOOD 6560 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 9PM/$5, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) RT @thecomedybureau @pauljaycomic suggested wearing some sort of reporters fedora with a press pass sticking out of it when out as the Comedy Bureau. Thoughts?

5) THANK YOU PunchlineMagazine.com: Louis C.K.’s “Hilarious” will debut on Comedy Central on Jan. 9 at 10 pm EST; DVD out Jan. 11. You’re welcome.

6) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is yet invited back again to Little Tokyo (near downtown) Why? Maybe because we have special guests TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!?!? Don’t miss it tomorrow @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA). Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ROBERT YASUMURA- “@teamyasumura At what point does Fox News just come out and condemn Galileo?” Known throughout comedy circles in LA as one of the well-respected hosts of the Westwood Brew Co. open mic on Tues., Robert has been a fixture in the LA Comedy scene for quite some time. Robert takes his incredibly sharp wit and deadpan demeanor from mics across town to through a thousand people’s Twitter feeds and should not be missed by you. Here’s Robert’s website and Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor “Being Cool” on the Ed Sullivan Show

9) Want to guess how long it took to write this post as well as edit all the pictures and do all the research for all the shows and open mics and go through everyone’s twitter, tumblr, and facebook feeds and write this very sentence? Donate to the Comedy Bureau and I’ll tell you if you got it right.

10) As you have already read or will very soon read, this is the 50th post of the Comedy Bureau…. which doesn’t really mean anything other than I’m 50 days past moderate to passable brain-to-common sense cooperation.

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Morning Debriefing 12/12/10

1) Last night, instead of performing/watching comedy, I was pretty much coerced into going into my mother’s Christmas work party at the Hilton Alhambra (one of the most Asian-centric parts of town) as a form of Christmas family time bonding, which is simultaneously a horrible situation I have no desire of being in AND a great source for material, especially considering the honest, personal approach I take to my act. Knowing that everyone’s process of developing material for performing comedy is drastically different, I’d like to offer a glimpse into my own personal process where I draw directly from personal experience. Listed below is a series of tweets I wrote throughout the duration of the party/death march of boredom/worst quiz I have ever sat through that will probably turn into 1-2 minutes of material (will keep you updated on progress). Perhaps, all of these random 140 characters or less thoughts will become nothing, but, either way, this is where my my comedy writing process starts…

-Surrounded by first generation Asians in the patient care industry. Already feeling uncomfortable. Step 1 complete.
-I don’t know why I checked Asian/Paciic Islander on any application. I don’t relate to any of these people. #jokesomewhere
-I have more in common with the “table 8” sign than all the Asian people here as it doesn’t tell me, “Go to grad school.”
-Currently listening to lounge version of Girl From Impanema, which sounds like the original if it was dosed with Ambien.
-If someone asks if I do jokes about how I’m not an Asian doctor, I would consider them heckling me in conversation
-I’m uncomfortable with how Asian-centric this party is; I feel about as asian as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
-“Go ahead and speak Asian! I wasn’t going to talk to you anyway!” something I want to say at this party.
-Yelling “I’m not Asian for fuck sakes” is a bad idea. Christmas Techno music… a much worst idea.
-Christmas parties like this make me understand why cyanide for human consumption was discovered. #toodark? #dontcare
-Someone who can barely speak English is giving speech; needs translator who speaks “shut the hell up I’m hungry as fuck”
-Knowing how to use chopsticks is about as Asian as I get. #igrewupinamerica #damnit #usausausa
-Phone was nearly dead and thus kept me from sharing my hate of this stupid party with the world.
-in a quiz for a prize in which the answer to why did Scrooge change his mind was because he cared about people #bullshit
-My answer to scrooge’s change of heart: fear of the proletariat rise #yeahimpretentious #ihatethisparty
-In a room full of Asians, the answer to How many planets are there in our solar system was somehow 9. #falsestereotypes
-“Tokyo is the most populated city, bitch and that motherfucker doesn’t deserve a TV.” Christmas brings out the best in us.
-Into hour 5 of this party and I just want to yell racial epithets so I can leave.
-Actual Riddle for TV: Harry died on land and people were happy, David dies on land and people were happier. Who are they?
-Answer to riddle in last tweet: they were typhoons. My answer: Go fuck yourself
-For big screen tv, we’re asked to pick out three distinct items in a picture of a bum and a volunteer. #whyamistillhere
-My next set of answers to this quiz are going to be shenanigans, gobbledygook , and complete and utter bullshit.
-It irks me to think why my Dad ever wonders why I appear to be angry on stage. #6hrparty

2) Going on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is a perfect alternative to going postal on people in the Grove parking structure because you want to show off this year at Christmas. Start off with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10, then Alonzo Bodden @ Brea Improv 7PM $17/2 item min., then Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 7:30PM $14/2 item min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then Please, Thank You, & You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, then The Comedy Crush Bad Sweater Holiday Show @ The Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min., then Sunday Sunday Sunday @ Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Comedy Bureau Calendars is finally updated in full!!! Every single club listed actually goes to there Calendars/Upcoming shows page. All of the minor inconvenience that remained on that list is now completely GONE offering you ease in searching for shows in LA unless clicking is a “big deal” for you.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian I said to him, "so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” After heckling Sam Kinison many years ago, Jackie has never looked back in her vast and successful journey as a comedienne. Touring throughout the world and having been on TV several times, she shares her uproariously funny anecdotes about her dad, her husband, and herself. Thus, do not miss Jackie’s hilarious podcast Dorkforest or her website, blog, or Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Jon Stewart Stand Up (1996)

7) If you read the Twitter feed excerpt from above, I think you’ll agree with me in wanting to donate to the Comedy Bureau. Do so right here.

8) As I stride further and further into comedy, I seem to know less and less “real” people. The “jury” is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing. The Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on my/its sanity.

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Morning Debriefing 12/11/10

1) In the last few weeks, both Larry King and Steve-O (after working on his act with Dane Cook) have both announced upcoming stand-up comedy tours across the country, which continues a growing trend of people using their fame/celebrity to go on a stand-up comedy tour. Even, John Mayer has been known to “dabble” in stand-up also, though not embarking “on the road”… yet, which would make it seem that the way to “make it” involves staging a bank robbery, getting a show on Food Network as a “reformed convict” that made a new life through finding new ways to deep frying foods that aren’t meant to be fried, and THEN go on a stand up comedy tour as opposed to working on my act at open mics. Too bad, I actually love performing stand up comedy too much to do that.

2) Rather than walking throughout various Best Buys in Los Angeles County looking for that “criterion collection” DVD, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL 2 Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., The Comedy Replacements @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), Jackie Kashian @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., Andy Daly @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $18/2 drink min., Matt Champagne @ Downtown Comedy Club 8PM $10, Comedy Show @ Days Inn Glendale 9PM FREE, Jen Kirman Album Taping @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd. St. Promenade (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Just like yesterday, Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Also, like yesterday, I still can’t afford any of these bids as I’m going to the 99 cents store for the major portion of my Christmas shopping.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to ROB DELANEY-“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, unless that friend FUCKED MY FIANCEE WHILE I WAS IN JAIL, MATT HALL YOU ALCOHOLIC CUNT.” Respected comedian and prolific tweeter Rob Delaney has almost 40,000 followers @robdelaney, which I almost can’t process as I only have 28. You can see Rob live next week at what will be one of the best shows of the week Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH @ Genghis Cohen Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5. Here’s Rob blog and his Twitter yet again.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lewis Black-Starbucks

7) “The Comedy Bureau Donation Box has started collecting dust”-If we could afford a physical donation box. “Tweeted here.”-cheap attempt to gain followers on Twitter.

8) I’m pleasantly surprised that Miley Cyrus being legal and smoking weed is not that big of a trending topic online.

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Post Brunch Update 12/10/10

1) Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab is where you can see the artistry in comedy at work. As an all “character” live comedy show, all the performers commit wholeheartedly to a persona (hence the name of the show), which range anywhere from "Reverend Boone Turde"…

…to “Jason Nash’s Father-in-Law”…

to Johnny Pemberton as a Tea Party Conspiracy Theorist.

In short, Persona is spectacular in ridding itself of all the conventions of a normal live comedy show that has a very neat structure of a showcase of comics or sketches and making a journey out of the entire experience with performers “interrupting” the show and interacting with the audience. The audience is constantly drawn in with “out-of-the-box” costumes, voices, and are genuinely surprised by the end of any one of the fantastic performances as shown when Host Tony Sam, who also played a plethora of a hilarious characters, choked a puppet of himself. Last night’s audience at the Hollywood Improv Lab got to enjoy the immense talents of Davey Johnson, Johnny Pemberton, Fred Young, Chris Walsh, Jason Nash, and the amazing sounds of Ogre Mage and certainly got more than their $5 worth of entertainment. Persona! will be on every second Thursday of the month at the Hollywood Improv Lab promptly at 8:30PM. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

2) Just because tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is manageable doesn’t mean it’s one to ignore. It simply means that you can actually make it to more of the best live comedy shows in LA. Start off with Laughs Without Liquor @ Plummer Park 6PM/8PM $20, then go to Jackie Kashian @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15, then go to Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ The Palms 9:30PM $10, then end the night on a good note with Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/Contact David Marley for sign up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/12-12/18. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Punchlist Magazine is currently having their Punchlist 2010 which anyone can vote for via Facebook. However, sifting through the nominees might be a bit difficult, so here’s a CHEAT SHEET (I apologize if I seem indecisive on a few of these). Best Stand Up Comedian on TV: Louis CK, Best Comedy Show on TV: Louie OR Modern Family, Best Musical Comedy Act: Garfunkel and Oates OR Reggie Watts, Best Sketch Group: Birds of Prey, Best New Podcast: The Morning After OR The Biggest Mistake, Best Comedy Website: ——–(just pick one as the Comedy Bureau is not on there), Best Tweeter: Eddie Pepitone OR Cornell Reid OR Jim Hamilton, Best Comedy Festival: Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Best Improv Troupes: (pick at your own discretion as I have not been to enough improv shows this year to make an informed decision)

6) The Hollywood Laugh Factory officially broke the record for longest running live comedy show with their Comicthon with an astounding running time of over 80 hours. Finishing around 10:30PM last night, the achievement was supported by the likes of everyone from Dave Chappelle to a fearless Maronzio Vance going up at 5AM. This tops the previous mark made by the Comic Strip in NYC, which I myself will try to top by having a non-stop live comedy show within my own head without admitting myself to a mental ward.

7) Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Bids right now are ranging anywhere from $120 to over a $1000, which immediately puts me out of the running with my “auction budget” of $5.34.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. "Oh, look–another staircase that goes nowhere.” Honored to have him ask me what the name for a labyrinth was and give him another “Tip of the Hat”, Kyle was just featured as one of Comedy Central’s Breakout Comics of 2010. Just don’t ever miss him performing live, especially since you’ll have plenty of opportunities to do so in the next week at French Toast @ Taix Sun. Dec. 12th 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House Mon. Dec. 13th 9PM FREE, Sweet and Sour Comedy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5, Blamblamblam @ R-Bar Tues Dec. 14th 9PM, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics Wed. Dec. 15th 8:30PM $8, and finally Elfin Funny @ The Echo Sat. Dec 18th 7PM $5. Kyle’s Website and Twitter; don’t forget about’em (even though they’re pretty much the same)

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: The Lads-Mike O’Connell and Matt Dwyer, Et Al.

10) If I tweeted more, would I get more donations. It’s a two birds with one stone type of a thing or just a convenient just to say it in one sentence.

11) For those of you waiting for me to be more negative, I have one word for you: March.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/8/10

1) BIG THANKS to everyone who came out to cause some BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO (there’s no intentional reference to Dec. 7th, 1941 here)!!! Thanks once again to the fantastic ABBEY LONDER!!! Next week: We find the girls with green eyes and TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!! WHAT!??!?!? DEC. 14TH. SEÑOR FISH. SIGN UP 6:30PM. STARTS 7PM.

2) COMEDY CRAWL COMICTHON @ Hollywood Laugh Factory HAPPENING RIGHT NOW one unwrapped toy, Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5, “If This Doesn’t Work, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Eagle Rock Comedy Festival @ The York, Coffee Table Lounge, Brownstone Pizzeria, and more 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Riot! @ El Cid 9:30PM $10, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/1 item min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign up (lottery) 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Some regular readers of the Comedy Bureau posts wonder what I’m going to do as a “Year in the Review” since several other comedy news websites are already doing their “Year in Review” posts or countdowns/top 10 lists. Again, one of the goals here at the Comedy Bureau is to get rid of “comedy red tape” and as such, I’m going to make a “Top 10 List of 2010 Comedy Lists” so you don’t have to wonder about which list to actually pay attention to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” NOW available for pre-sale at AST Records. Consider it as one of those “Christmas presents for yourself”, especially if you live alone.

6) Brand Spankin’ New Podcasts are about to drop very soon on Earwolf from none other than Howard Kremer, Drew Droege, and Paul Scheer. I really shouldn’t have to say more than that, but you can indulge yourself in a higher word-count/more details here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan #StoutsGuideToSuicide – Tip 396 – The best day to kill yourself is ALWAYS yesterday.” Now having the select distinction of being one of three people to get another “Tip of the Hat”, Ryan shows why he’s regarded not only one of the fastest rising comics right now, but also why he’s one of the best joke writers in “the biz”. Check him out at his website and follow him on Twitter or suffer the consequences (inquire at thecomedybureau@gmail.com for details on consequences)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Late World w/Zach Galifianakis-Pre-School

9) Some asked why I would do Marty’s from 5PM to 11PM and it’s not because I’m a comedy masochist. I do it so none of you have to go through it in case you ever had the curiosity of what it may be like as you can see on Twitter (look for #martysmarathon). That’s why I ask for donations.

10) Comedy Bureau PSA to the General Public: No comic ever wants feedback in the form of audible comments DURING their set. THIS HAS NEVER BEEN THE CASE. So, please, show your appreciation/disdain in uproarious laughter/silence. This ad has been sponsored by the Comedy Bureau.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/6/10

1) Most comics in Los Angeles find that they can only get up once a night. Some of the more dedicated comics hustle out to do two spots in one night, then the hardest workers I find can do about four in one night, if there’s the opportunity to. Tonight, for benefit of the LA comedy community, the Comedy Bureau is going to go up about 8 times, possibly even more, by performing at Marty’s/The Open Mic from 5PM to 11PM to let you know what it’s like without you ever having to try it. Marty’s is an open mic that allows performers, after they pay the $5 cover, to go up as many times as they want/feel is necessary/can handle. You can follow this journey into what very well might be a productive night of comedy OR comedy purgatory bordering on the tips of the flames of comedy hell on Twitter right here.

2) Nice and easy seems to be theme of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with all of the weekly shows regularly listed here in full effect (NOT TO MENTION THAT ALL OF THIS COSTS JUST $5) Start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, and I’m sure you’ll have enough money to finish off the night at Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 and be able to get home.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts “around” 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Louis CK was on the Tonight Show. I didn’t get to watch it live because I was performing at an AA room, but I watched parts 1-3 of the interview here, here, and here.

5) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is back for PART 5!!! Tomorrow night’s very, incredibly, special guest: ABBEY LONDER!!! Oh yeah, don’t forget $2 fish tacos and raffles galore (meaning probably 3). Tues. Dec. 7th @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT KNUDSEN “@matt_knudsen I love reindeer. They are delicious.” Armed with his incredibly astute, sharp one-liners and his remarkably delightful low-key presence, Matt Knudsen not only gets to entertain all around Los Angeles, but is regularly featured on several TV shows including, most recently, Detroit 1-8-7 and Men of a Certain Age. He just released an album, “The Comedic Stylings of Matt Knudsen”, which you should definitely buy and can be seen live this week at the “Toys for Tots Benefit” @ Hudson Mainstage Wed. Dec. 8th and improv group “The Waterbrains” @ The Westside Comedy Theatre“ Fri. Dec. 10th $10. Do not forget to check out his website and follow him on Twitter.

7) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Sam Kinison’s First Appearance on Letterman

8) I’m doing basically an entire 12 hour day for LA Comedy today. Please donate (cash donations in person accepted as Tumblr is down).

9) Tumblr can’t stop the Comedy Bureau, but many near and dear friends tell me “dating a woman” would probably do the trick. I’ll guess we’ll have to find out….

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/4/10

1) ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS (part 1), the Comedy Bureau would like to educate the general public that heckling is not a behavior that is in ANY way acceptable no matter what your set of circumstances you happen to be coming from. It’s not a way to make the show more fun or as some “brilliant” people I’ve overheard say, “I’m helping them.” At a comedy show, as an audience member, you are meant to sit and keep quiet and listen OR if you’re not into what’s being said, have enough respect for the person on stage trying to perform their act in what is (surprise surprise people that don’t think so) one of the hardest art forms ever conceived. There is a discrepancy when the show is at a venue where the audience did not come for the show, but simply to hang out at a bar with their friends and are subsequently being “subjected” to comedy. Even in this case, you always have the option of not listening. With that all being said, if you are a person who came to see the show WITH THE INTENTION of heckling, you are UNDENIABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. In last night’s case, I had to deal with one of these “I am Heckler” types and realized that there’s a sadistic nature about the whole exchange. This person wants me to fail, to see me unravel as a performer, as if that is the way he will feel good about himself (sidenote: I don’t unravel. I deal with it and if you push me far enough, I’ll verbally rip you into enough shreds for confetti at New Year’s; ask Bobby Kern). As the show was at an “AA room”, I had reasoned that the guy felt like he earned the “privilege” to heckle as he was in AA and had as a common phrase among that crowd “been through a lot of shit”. Especially since the show was formatted to follow the AA meeting and we, the comedians, were not holding anyone “hostage”, I don’t care if you just came from a funeral; If you came to see the show, then simply don’t heckle. As comedians, whether we do this for a living or not, this is “work” for us and I will never go to the business where you are currently employed and say, “Did they warn you about us?” This concludes Part 1 of ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS.

2) Steve-O is still headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend for whatever reason. For those of you that like to retain brain cells/your soul, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers YooHoo 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8PM $25, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5/21 and over, The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only), then Tomorrow!!! w/Ron Lynch presents Crapshoot! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8, and finish the night with your fist raised in the air a la John Carlos for supporting comedy that actually comedy, then actually good.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ICE HOUSE OPEN AUDITIONS 24 N. Mentor Ave./Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd St. and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM./3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Good news for all decent people around the world that aren’t the aforementioned “I am Heckler” types: Matt Braunger along with Brent Forrester (writer/producer on The Office) has just gotten a pilot order from Comedy Central!!! Check out more details here and the Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on its progress in development.

5) The wonderful duo of Garfunkel and Oates are both amazing and delightful. However, I think they would be amazing, delightful, and life-changing if they performed in my living room. I can’t afford that, but maybe you can by auctioning for a private show from Garfunkel and Oates right here. This is life-changing because it’s Garfunkel and Oates in the privacy of your own home AND all proceeds go to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HAMILTON-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim Hamilton gets the distinction of being the first person to get a second “Tip of the Hat” and with all of the beyond clever one-liners he has, Jim definitely deserves it. You can see him perform live and for FREE at one of the best shows in town this Tuesday, Dec. 7th at Holy Fuck! in the Downtown Independent Theatre (251 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA) 9PM. I’ll probably say this several times throughout the course of the life of the Comedy Bureau: follow Jim Hamilton on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Bill Hicks’ Worst Gig Ever

8) If you missed the tweeting storm the Comedy Bureau had last night, check it out “open mic genius” quotes, etc. here and then donate because I drove from Long Beach to East LA to Fullerton to Garden Grove to Hollywood and back to Long Beach for comedy meaning all of you.

9) So in just over a month, 104 people like The Comedy Bureau on Facebook, 64 people follow The Comedy Bureau on Twitter, and 43 people follow us/really just me on Tumblr. Thanks everyone for reading and all the support because it’s only going to get better (especially if I make any money at this).

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/3/10

1) The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubtisch made me so incredibly glad that I didn’t drop $60 on watching Louis CK at the Gibson Amphitheatre last night. From top to bottom, The Josh and Josh Show transcends all stereotypes of the “comedy bar show” even though its located at the very posh Bar Lubitsch. Set perfectly in a back room that’s gorgeously decorated in an almost nostalgically vaudevillian, but very chic leaning sensibility, show producers/hosts/performers/entertainer extraordinaries Josh Haness and Joshua Weinstein make you forget that you’re one in the hippest bars in LA because they have the vibe of all those great warehouse parties that I never went to in college going on right from the start. The back room was packed to standing room only with people that WANTED to watch the show, which always makes for a great rapport between the comedians and the audience. Thus, I got that great feeling that all artists get when watching an exhibition within their own medium: I forgot that I was actively watching comedy and simply enjoyed listening to whatever was being said. Last night’s extremely lucky audience got to enjoy the immense talents of Margot Leitman, Jan Davidson, Marianne Sierk, Rick Shapiro, Mike O’Connell, Joshua Weinstein, and Matt Braunger all under the amazing umbrella of host Josh Haness. That’s seriously a line-up that we all should pay money for, but, another great aspect of the Josh and Josh Show is that it’s completely free. Also, there’s a dance party afterwards with enough good looking singles to go around for everyone. The Josh and Josh Show is definitely “Bureau Approved” and would be even more so if could come up with something to distinguish it as so. The Josh and Josh Show takes place every Thursday in Bar Lubtisch (7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA) at 8:30PM.

2) “It’s a good day for comedy”-What everyday should be. Make it so with a COMEDY CRAWL starting with YooHoo Friday @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (Stand-by only), then Comics and Comics @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Ho Ho HOliday Hilarity @ Lineage Performing Arts Center 8PM $15, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 8:30PM $5, then The Ghetto Bird Social Club @ Bridenstine’s Place 9PM FREE, then Say Something Funny Bitch Holiday Extravaganza and Charity Event @ Malo 9PM $10, then finish a fantastic night with Stood Up Friday Night!: TSA Patdowns @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY BAPTIST CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/Must work clean, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) ON THE AIR/OFF THE QT-Louis CK on the Tonight Show 11:35PM NBC.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/5-12/11. It’s all in the name. Thanks Wisepix.

6) Host of ‘Comics Unleashed’/Entertainment Studios Head Byron Allen just announced a brand new show up for debut “Who Wants to Date a Comedian?”, which, first off, seems like it should be called “How Most Comedians Get Their Material” or “Why Do Most Comedians Hate Themselves?”. Secondly, this feels like all those seasons of “Last Comic Standing” when contestants were put through embarrassing challenges like having to write jokes in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond then perform a few hours later. Does TV even know what “comedy” is anymore? More evidence for the side of “not a fucking clue” keeps piling up everyday.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to JOE WAGNER-“When a man and a woman love each other very much… they often fuck it all up.” I called Joe Wagner a legend once and he said I was insane, which is what I think a legend would say. Either way, Joe has been in the “industry” for a long time working alongside with the likes of Zach Galifianakis on “Late World with Zach”. Currently, he writes/performs/walks all around LA, dazzling folks with completely “being in the moment” (i.e. chasing a man off stage and getting an applause break while doing so). Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on Joe’s next show and/or stroke of genius.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Burr gives a Philly a talking too… Part One and Part Two.

9) I’ll be performing at an “AA room” tonight. That’s right comedy show after an AA meeting. Oddly enough, I’ve done this show before and bombed and, ironically, am going back to this AA room for redemption. Read all about on the Comedy Bureau’s Twitter and donate for all the driving involved as it seems going to Garden Grove is almost like going to Mars, that is, if Mars was comprised of industrial parks.

10) Literally tried to “out-depress” another comic and won, which brought them up, but reminded me that I still got drunk in the dark while listening to Gregorian Chants. Oh well… (I’m fine guys… really)

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/1/10

1) The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre showed how beautiful the concept of a prank could really be. Whether telling stories that are acted out in dazzling fashion of “pranks” being pulled on them or having guest performers pull “pranks” on the entire audience or enacting “The Popcorn Trick”, one never gets a feeling of ill will towards Chris and David Walsh, but, instead, just simply has a spirited fun time. Without tipping off too much, The Walsh Brothers offered an absolutely superb variety of acts ranging from hilarious sketches featuring themselves James Patterson reading letters to Billionaires and their subsequent responses to the amazing Tony Sam as Electroface, an insecure pro-wrestler, to even an amazing part of the show just called ‘Personal Disco’. Though some of The Walsh Brothers act may seem incredibly goofy at the beginning, Chris and David maintain such a great balance of commitment/fearlessness throughout whatever they’re doing on stage that keeps the audience engaged to the end, which is actually quite genius. If you really want to see what I’m talking about, the Walsh Brothers Show takes places frequently at the UCB Theatre and the Walsh Brothers themselves perform all around LA, so check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on upcoming shows.

2) BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME OUT TO BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC LAST NIGHT!! IT WAS SO FANTASTIC WITH RYAN STOUT ACTUALLY COMING DOWN AND ACTUALLY GETTING AN APPLAUSE BREAK THAT IT NECESSITATES ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! DON’T MISS IT NEXT TUESDAY @ SEÑOR FISH, 422 E. 1ST ST. SIGN-UP 6:30PM/STARTS 7PM.

3) I know that already just eye-balling this tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you might feel intimidated, but I’m just going to go ahead and say DEAL WITH IT!!! All these shows are going to be a damn good time and should not be missed. Start off with Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater (awesome video promo) 8PM $5, then Frolic @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Maria Bamford’s Eagle Rock Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation, then You’ve Seen These Guys @ The Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, then Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min., then Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., then finish STRONG with the Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY: A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd st., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The lovely and talented Kate Micucci of Garfunkel and Oates just dropped her solo album Phone Home (don’t worry, Garfunkel and Oates are still together), which I highly suggest that you check out/buy/download/support/listen to when you really need to smile. You can do so right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVEY JOHNSON-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey Johnson is a whirlwind of comedy in LA that definitely needs to be seen live to really experience the full force of hilarity. Performing routinely with some of the best sketch groups in LA, which includes his own “The Doorknockers” with the also amazing Randy Liedtke featured weekly at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch”, Davey Johnson “rolls with it” in the best way possible. You can see Davey tonight in the aforementioned Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $5 and at The Second Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever @ The Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 16th 8PM $10. Also, you can follow Davey on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Doug Stanhope’s Comedy Death Camp

8) Donating blood leaves you sleepy and most likely unable to live tweet about it or subsequently laugh about it. Avoid this situation by donating and following the Comedy Bureau.

9) Sometimes I feel so close to getting somewhere in comedy, which always seems to be accompanied by the feeling of going completely broke.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/29/10

1) RIP Leslie Nielsen-Without Surf Ninjas, I don’t think I would have had a childhood.

2) You want a ‘Recession Special Sale’? Do you want a ‘Holiday Special Sale’? Well, forget both of those because probably the cheapest/best COMEDY CRAWL I’ve ever posted. So start saving with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House FREE, and feel like you’ve gotten your $5 dollars worth by ending the night with Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUGH FACTORY 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6:30PM/10-15 spots available, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts around 7PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles CA (on USC campus between Marks Hall, Marks Tower, and Trojan Residence Hall Dorms)/USC Student Sign-up 9PM/Non-USC Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central just released its list of the best breakout comedians of 2010 and Comedy Bureau favorites Kyle Kinane and Chelsea Peretti (Reggie Watts too, though he’s NYC) made the list. Congratulations to them as they will all be featured on Comedy Central this Friday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic PART 4 is TOMORROW NIGHT and we have RYAN STOUT coming down to perform as a very special guest. Yeah, that’s RYAN STOUT everyone. Plus a happy hour w/$2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, raffles a plenty, etc. Again, TOMORROW Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Señor Fish/422 E. 1st St. (Little Tokyo/near downtown).

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ANDY PETERS–

Hailing from Seattle, Andy now, luckily for us, Los Angeles his home and is a favorite all around the LA comedy circuit from the likes of the Hollywood Improv to the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. Absolutely “tearing it up” on stage with his fierce, irreverent style, one should never miss a chance to see Andy Peters perform. Your next chance will be tonight at Anthill Pub & Grille (C-215 Student Center, UCI, Irvine, CA ) 9PM FREE and at Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv Dec. 1st 10PM $14/2 item min. Also be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Play From Your Fucking Heart

7) So the Comedy Bureau will be at an open mic tonight, so THERE WILL BE LIVE TWEETING (oh, and it will be some fun as this open mic doesn’t have a host). I’ll be taking donations here. I mean, please give… here.

8) Getting ready for a show that takes place after an AA meeting this week. Somehow, I don’t think open mics help that much in this regard.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/28/10

1) Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge was a great old-fashioned time, though in the freshest-hippest way possible. In what can be arguably the “hipster” epicenter of LA in Silverlake, the woman behind Space Boners and quite funny comedienne Barbara Gray manages to make an “alternative comedy” leaning show that is very welcoming and inviting to all. Despite many people thinking of “alternative comedy” as pretentious inside jokes about jokes, the simplistic atmosphere of the Silverlake Lounge coupled with Barbara’s fancy, ornately red and white curtains, which nearly every performer cleverly commented on (Paul Jay: Welcome to my Quinceñera!), set a nice scene for some of LA’s best and most original comics to do what EVERY comedian strives for: entertain a group of people in a darkened room from a lit stage. The intimate, though packed, crowd got an early holiday treat with performances from Dan Borelli, Vance Sanders, Paul Cibis, Jamie Lee, Paul Jay, Andy Peters, Tony Sam, Host Josh Androsky, and Barbara Gray closing out the show with a BANG/musical number (featuring Josh Androsky and Zach Ames). Whether you’re looking for something innovative and new in going out to comedy shows or not, Space Boners is definitely something to consider as it is completely FREE and will give you an enjoyable glimpse into a “different” brand of comedy without it feeling forced on you. Space Boners takes places one Saturday a month @ Silverlake Lounge, 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake) 7PM FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) I’ve never been a big fan of parades, which is essentially just standing, pretending to have fun while other people ACTUALLY have fun on intricately decorated floats/cars/horses/etc. Instead, I would suggest a better time at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Laugh, Drink, Repeat @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, Skinny Sundays @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, and Hollywood Underground @ Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Today is the FINAL DAY for submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic has gotten another sequel and will be having PART 4 this Tuesday with all the same great conventions you’ve come to expect from the trilogy and as well as a special guest performance from the one and only RYAN STOUT. Tues. Nov. 30th. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo/near downtown). DON’T MISS THIS!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HEGARTY-“@jimhegarty ‘Either we break up or I murder you. So really it’s up to you when you think about it.’ #breakuplines” Jim performs is a regular on the LA comedy scene dishing out his great observations on family, Batman, and the Buffalo Bills in third world countries. There’s even more of this at his blog TallJim.com and at his Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Philips Once I was in San Francisco

8) The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS every night here and needs DONATIONS here and will tweet here about I do comedy that needs donations here and how repetition seemingly, for the time being, doesn’t work.

9) I have heard more TSA Pat Down humor than holiday humor over the last few days, which makes me think that comedians are tired of talking about their dysfunctional family holiday dinners and would like TSA pat downs to become a holiday tradition.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/26/10

1) Forget Black Friday-Jimmy Pardo’s “Pardcast-a-Thon” kicks off 6PM TONIGHT for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

2) Seriously, forget Black Friday and all those relatives that you’re trying to buy cheap gifts to keep up appearances. Instead go on a COMEDY CRAWL that’s not even that long with Lettuce Entertain You (w/Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, Hot Toddy @ iO West 9:30PM (Del Close)/11:30PM (Main Stage) $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: UCB THEATRE 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/10 spots available, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 11/28-12/4. Yeah, it’s real. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Brendon Walsh was on Conan last night. I missed it because I have lost all concept of time and don’t have a DVR. Fortunately TeamCoco.com are good people and have his set right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JERRY BRANDT-@HateJerryBrandt- Awkward Thanksgiving phone conversation with my Dad is done…we can now go back to ignoring each other until Christmas. Over the last year, Jerry Brandt has made his indelible/bitter/funny mark on the “Long Beach Comedy Scene” as well as the rest of LA with his monthly show, “The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ The Puka Bar” and his weekly podcast “Drinking Buddies” with awesome co-host Chris Adams recorded at CSULB. Though his twitter handle is @HateJerryBrandt, he certainly only wants to hate himself in the most self-deprecating, hilarious way possible. Upcoming Shows include: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish 11/30 8PM FREE and Ultimate Laff Down @ Khoury’s 11/2 8:30PM/$7/$10 food-drink min. Be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lenny Bruce-All Alone.

8) The Comedy Bureau is a single man (in every sense of the term) and LIVE TWEETS as an entire agency HERE.

9) You’re saving SOOOOO much money today so you can donate to the Comedy Bureau, right? Please prove this statement true here.

10) Literally, driving home last night, the freeway was already clogged with traffic for Black Friday. I will, for the first time, feel like I’m having a better time than “real people” at an open mic.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/25/10

1) I know you guys need to get to your friends, families, and some damn fine turkey, so I’ll keep this short… well, all of that depends on whether you enjoy reading this blog or not, which, in the case of the “Comedy Blog Reader Masochist”, prompts me to ask, “Why do you exist?”. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!

2) I almost don’t want to call it a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight, but for the sake of branding, I’ll stick with it. Tonight’s Comedy Crawl consists of, meaning this is the only shows going on that I know about, 16 Headlining Comics @ The Original Room of the Comedy Store 9PM $15/2 drink min. AND Free Thanksgiving Dinner @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 1PM/3PM/5PM/7PM FREE (though I think the actual show might have $20 cover according to site). That’s it.

3) NO OPEN MIC RUN FOR TODAY: I don’t even hate myself that much to do an open mic on Thanksgiving and a third of my material is on suicide.

4) The mutli-talented Charlyne Yi finally has The Old Lumps’ (her fantastic band) album “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps” online. Yeah, you’ve seen her in Paper Heart or at her own one-of-a-kind show at the UCB Theatre, but check out her musical side, which is like all her artistic “sides”: a nostalgically rollicking good time that reminds you of the childhood that you might never had, but wish you did. Check “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps" here.

5) Jimmy Pardo is definitely kicking off the Holiday Season right with his ”Pardcast-a-Thon“ going from 6PM tomorrow for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

6) As it premiered yesterday, the ”Bureau Approved“ section of this blog serves as a convenient resource for the best of the best podcasts, webseries, sketches, blog posts, clips, performances, etc. of LA Comedy so you don’t have to search through any of these reports to do so. With that in mind, I’ll start tomorrow to feature items from the ”Bureau Approved“ that I did not have the privilege to witness the inception of in a new feature I’m going to call ”From the Depths of ‘You Should Have Been There’ Lagoon“ or for you initialism-inclined FDYSHBTL. Hopefully, with this, we’ll never forget… (what’s funny that is)

7) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane Where can I get some giant bows for all these Lexuses I’m giving out for Christmas? I’ll look like a real asshole if I don’t wrap them.” Having already been to the Just For Laughs Comedy Fest in Montreal this year and opening for Patton Oswalt, Kyle’s been hitting the road taking his ingenious and hilarious musings on life as a “simple creature” from here in LA all the way to Winnipeg as everyone is finally starting to appreciate how damn funny he is. You can see Kyle next week at Comedy Death Ray @ The UCB Theatre Tues. Nov. 30th 8:30PM $5 or at Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Dec. 4th $5 or on Comedy Central because, yeah, he has a ‘Comedy Central Presents’ special too. Here’s his blog, “Shooting for Third”, and a link to his Twitter here.

8) For “Tip of the Hat”, I literally comb through everyone I follow on twitter, facebook, and tumblr, making it quite a tedious process. However, if you’d like to make it a little easier on me/draw my attention for “Tip of the Hat” consideration, e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with ’for your consideration tip of the hat’ in the subject line.

9) OK, I know this is running a little long, so I’ll cut it short here. I/The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS here, so, for that reason and many others, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau/me here.

10) THIS IS OFFICIALLY A MONTH THAT I’VE BEEN BLOGGING EVERY SINGLE DAY and I haven’t been to therapy yet (on top of doing stand up every night/trying to make money freelancing during the increasingly small time I have day). There should be an award for this.

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Post Brunch Update 11/23/10

1) Just like “Depression-a-palooza”, “Can You Tell If I’m Kidding? Comedy Show” @ The Edge of the Roof of a 13 Story Parking Garage was also a notable failure. None of that matters though as BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is TONIGHT! Well, as much trouble as comedy, japanese snack foods, $2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, and Russell Corona and I can cause… Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown).

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is not only a big one with some KICKASS shows, but it’s also incredibly easy on the wallet (i.e. you won’t have to eat at Taco Bell tonight). Don’t believe me? try Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5/Free for comics, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 8:30PM FREE, HOLY FUCK! ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Liquid Courage @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min, then finally WitStream LIVE @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, and go eat a steak because you can afford it (unless you’re really poor like me and buy food with change).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour HAVE BEEN EXTENDED. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) As I mentioned, Schtick or Treat was one of the best times I had at comedy show, especially since I got to the privilege to perform. If you missed this amazing once-a-year comedy extravaganza, check out all the highlights right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Andrew Dewitt. Andrew posted a video of him opening an “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: Collector’s Edition Box Set” alone in a basement on his birthday… IN 3 PARTS. It’s pretty damn fantastic, check it here. Andrew came up through the stand up comedy ranks in Chicago and now made his way here in Los Angeles performing all around town. Check out his awesome blog Dorksplosion here.

7) As people constantly ask me, “How do I get ‘Tip of the Hat’ from the Comedy Bureau?” I’ll let you know exactly how I run this fancy little operation. Everyday, I check Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr for tweets, status updates, videos, blog quotes, etc. for the best little gems in comedy in LA. Going from Midnight to Midnight in a single day, I make a short list and then, from there, determine who gets the “Tip of the Hat” and is featured here at the Comedy Bureau along with their twitter, website, blog, etc. So, if you want a “Tip of the Hat”, get to tweeting, facebooking, blogging, youtubing, etc. because I’ll be on the lookout (as I slowly realize that I have less and less of a life). Also, any “Tips of the Hat” will be permanently placed in the “Tip of the Hat Archive” which I just created right here.

8) I know you guys love the blog as much as I love writing it, so give me the opportunity to MAKE IT EVEN BETTER by donating here.

9) Back to LIVE TWEETING and actually going out. Check out if my new “Social Network” material works out here.

10) The Comedy Bureau stats: 92 people like it on Facebook, 49 followers on Twitter, and 30 followers on Tumblr. Only 499,999,829 people to take down Facebook, or at least I think so.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/22/10

1) Depression-a-palooza @ my own head, basically, is something you never want to go to. Last night was the first time I didn’t go out in several months and let’s just hope this doesn’t happen too frequently, mostly because drinking alone is never a pleasant experience (i.e. I tweeted, “Apparently, I’m the star of Home Alone 7: It’s Your Own Fault Because You Won’t Try Online Dating. #straighttovideo #diealone #samething).

2) COMEDY CRAWL Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10, Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour @ Largo 8PM $20, Dame Funny @ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $20/2 drink min., What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7PMish, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8:15PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on eastern most side of USC campus/in between dormitories)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour is taking submissions to come to your house/apartment/living space. Just make a 2 minute video and post it on facebook here to have a chance to have Tig Notaro and her friends have a friggin’ comedy show in your backyard/living room/where you don’t sleep in your living space.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is tomorrow night. Last week I gave away cheeseburger shaped cookies and a 15-min. drop in spot. WHO KNOW WANTS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK?!?!? Show up and find out. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

6) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to ANDRÉS DU BOUCHET for this amazing two-part tweet: “@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written "HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).“ Andrés currently and deservedly writes for Conan here in LA. Here’s his site/blog here and then you can follow him on Twitter here. DO IT NOW!!!

7) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau: "Tip of the Hat” Archive and everything and anything that’s “Bureau Approved” featuring everything that’s already been featured so all of you fine folks can find it quite easily instead of digging through all of these posts like I do.

8) I wouldn’t be asking for a donation if I wasn’t currently writing this blog on my bed. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau so we can change this (mostly for a bigger bed).

9) Planning to watch Social Network today, then write 5 minutes on it. Instead of being on the cutting edge with the latest news, I like being “dollar theater” topical, though I may need to start a show at a dollar theater for it to work.

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Post Brunch Update 11/21/10

1) Comedy Garage Thanksgiving Charity Bonanza @ The Comedy Garage was quite simply how comedy inside someone’s garage is supposed to be done. Not to be confused with other attempts at “garage” based live comedy, there were no hints of the inner workings of a comedy club (i.e. matching seats, nicely decorated stage, curtain, etc.) and also none of the pain of spending $15 on cover and having to pay a 2 drink minimum as Comedy Garage is completely free and often has beer to go around or, in last night’s case, FOUR LOKO. Instead of that overwhelming nature of a comedy club, there was a very chill, inviting house party atmosphere with people playing beer pong and enjoying each other’s company on the various collections of chairs and couches huddled around the astroturf-covered stage. One comedian during the show actually commented how the garage would be a high school kid’s dream with all the random assortments of snowmen and plastic penguins with a Gene Simmons mask fixed on it, though there was none of that childish negativity that festered back in high school (or at least that was my experience). In fact, the party goes on smoothly for a few hours before the show to get everyone in the perfect mood for a great live comedy show exceptionally produced by Sean Green, Cornell Reid, and Paul Danke. Despite temperatures dipping below 50, the Comedy Garage proved its great reputation for a “damn good time” with a crowd almost entirely of regular audience members who got to enjoy the likes of Brooks Wheelan, Joselyn Hughes, Alysia Wood, Rob Christensen, and the Comedy Garage gang (Sean, Cornell, and Paul) themselves. The Comedy Garage happens one Saturday a month in a garage in Burbank. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Harry Potter is estimated at a $125 million opening this weekend and runs about 2 and ½ hours long. The more than 20 shows that I listed over this weekend didn’t even come close to equaling half a percent of that total and offered about 10 times the duration of amazing entertainment. Yeah, I know the numbers don’t work out exactly, but it’s worth it more to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-Start with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2 (stand-by only), then go to Chris Fairbanks Stand-up Comedy Special Taping @ M-Bar 6:30PM RSVP at fairbankscomedy@gmail.com, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, then Trick @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE, then Comedy Without a Cause @ Boardners 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Dave Nieker’s 5 Comics @ Flappers Burbank YooHoo Room 9PM $10/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM, $5, then Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) With the frequency and ferocity that the Comedy Bureau has been hitting open mics, I’ve updated the Greater LA Open Mic Map with new spots and added the reviews to each spot, letting you know whether it’s “bureau approved” or not right here. Also, the Calendars section just added the Downtown Comedy Club and Second City Hollywood (though I still haven’t figured out a flash workaround that doesn’t take traffic away from their site). Check that out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ABBEY LONDER. On Facebook, Abbey wrote, “Listen lady– I can’t tell whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl. So when I say ‘what’s this little man’s name?’ and you get alllll offended and say ‘what does he look like a boy or something?’ please know that I don’t care. Also: I made your non fat latte with half and half. Happy Holidays, bitch.” Check her out at the Hollywood Improv tonight at 9PM or, if you really like her, go to the second-to-last of her awesome “Sweet and Sour Comedy” at Genghis Cohen this Tuesday 7PM $5/free for comics. Also, THIS is her badass website.

6) I don’t know how Little Tokyo is still standing, but since it is, we’re going to have another BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC this Tuesday Nov. 23rd @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo). Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. HUGE HINT: I try to not cut off the list, meaning if you get there by 9PM, I’ll get you up. Oh yeah, let’s all go to Holy Fuck!’s One Year Anniversary afterwards.

7) LIVE TWEETING/ME TRYING TO KEEP MY SANITY/CONVINCING PEOPLE I’M NOT GOING TO JUMP OFF THE 4TH ST. BRIDGE nightly, all right here.

8) “Going for donation number 2… Donation number 2, anyone? Anybody?”-The Comedy Bureau Donations volunteer…. if we could afford one. Please donate here.

9) It’s amazing how people always tell me these two things about this blog together. "Jake, I love your blog. It fills a need for LA Comedy.“ and "I’m just waiting to see one or two years down the road when your optimism burns out.” I love all of you too.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/20/10

1) Comedy Car Hole @ The Comedy Car Hole has been going for more than 7 years and last night was proof of why. With a tightly run, showcase-style, 90 min. show, the 60+ people in attendance having a great time in the back porch in front of someone’s of garage should give anyone with enough drive, passion, talent, intermittent bits of insanity to build a show wherever they can build one. Doug O. Perkins and Ryan Wise actually make their garage as much of a real venue as they possibly can with comfy seating, a “VIP Lounge”, and a legitimate stage with a legitimate curtain and cleverly built Comedy Car Hole sign. Last night’s crowd, which stuck around even with a slight mist of rain in the air, got to enjoy the likes of Steve Benaquist, Kat Radley, and even Comedy Bureau favorites Lizzy Cooperman and The Walsh Brothers. The Comedy Car Hole is once a month literally in a garage near Santa Monica and is completely free. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) Trinity Open Mic @ Trinity Baptist Church in Santa Monica might sound like one “hell” of an intimidating open mic (OK, the pun was kind of intended). Actually, I have to admit that it was pretty great. All those elements that comedians hate about open mics such as people not listening/caring, the house lights being on or all the light beings completely off, etc. are almost non-existent here. Being in a church basement at 8PM, no one is really being held hostage for the show and thus, people want to listen to what you have to say. As it is a church, you do have to work squeaky clean, but most everything I heard music/comedy/spoken word wise was pretty “secular”. Also, there’s food for a small donation. Though, again, you have to work clean, I’d say this is another “bureau-approved” open mic. Trinity Open Mic is every 1st and 3rd Friday at 8PM in Trinity Baptist Church, 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA.

3) There’s actually a Harry Potter based show that, like it’s filmic inspiration, is sold out and has only stand-by available, but that shouldn’t stop you from some other great shows around town where you won’t have to talk about how you have never read the books and your possible lack of childhood, etc. (is that just me?) Anyways, tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL goes a little something like this: start off early with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand-by only), then go to Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then go to Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then Satuday Night Special @ Flappers-Burbank YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Talent Show @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand-by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Comedy Garage Thanksgiving CHARITY Bonanza! @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM-Party/Show 11PM FREE, then Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow presents the Time Machine Show @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd. and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave. (at Fuller)/6:30PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

5) Kyle Kinane is a comedic genius, another label the Comedy Bureau doesn’t use lightly, ON THE RISE who has been cast in sketches as a rapist and now most recently on Lopez Tonight, a racist stoner. Check it out here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to the one and only Barbara Gray. “@BabsGray Hey guys, what should I eat for lunch? Subway or the barrel of a shotgun?”. Recently, Lionsgate just went with ahead with her short script, and, up ahead, she’s hosting What’s Up Tiger Lily? this week and has her own wonderfully named show Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge coming up next Saturday 11/27. Follow her on twitter here or at her blog here.

7) From one garage with comedy to another…. Guess where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Well… First, at an open mic in a franchise coffee shop, then the Comedy Garage. Follow all the LIVE TWEETING here.

8) If I’ve already gone with the “jedi hand wave” to get you to donate to the Comedy Bureau, I’m invoking it again (imagine it happening right when you’re reading this), so you forget that I might have already done it once and THEN you’ll donate. Please give if you’re willing and able (jedi hand wave again) here.

9) Don’t judge comedy too quickly, unless it starts off “So I’m half…..”. That’s when I’m half on my way to doing something like this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/19/10

1) The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios was one of the best produced shows, thanks to show producers Joel Mandelkorn and Mandee Johnson, that I’ve been to in recent memory. Inside an extremely hip studio space (there’s a bar in the lobby), the set-up for the show was gorgeous. I almost didn’t believe I was at a comedy event with the all the camera equipment, the DJ spinning, food truck, GOOD FREE BEER (not that Tecate BS at most shows), gourmet cookies and cupcakes, and Christmas lights strung beautifully overhead. Already a cool, laid-back party, the Super Serious Show takes everyone’s good time and makes it great once the show actually commences. Every performer got to showcase their brand of humor perfectly as they were lit just right and everyone was seated intimately in addition to the entire line-up being truly some of L.A.’s best in comedy. Last night’s crowd at Smashbox Studios were treated (and then some) to the amazing talents of Sean Conroy, sketch group Birds of Prey (Lizzy Cooperman, Susan Burke, and Emily Maya Mills), Christina Pazsitsky, Marc Maron, and the music/comedic truths of Kirk Zipfel. Admission for the Super Serious Show is $15 at the door, but I say, with all sincerity, it’s entirely worth it. The Super Serious Show is on every third Thursday of the month at Smashbox Studios 8549 Higuera St., Culver City, CA. Pre-sale $10/$15 at door. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one on December 16th.

2) Instead of watching Harry Potter, take a journey on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’s cheaper and won’t make you wait for the second half for several months. Try out Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, then WTF with Marc Maron @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, then The Fake Show @ The Fake Gallery 9PM $10, Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ Club 8572/The Palms @ 9:30PM $10, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and end the night/not be possibly disappointed with a cliffhanger at Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd. in Silverlake/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/8PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood/6PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1019 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) On Thanksgiving week, there is plenty to give thanks for. Here’s one thing: The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List. Thanks also to Wisepix.

5) Zach Sherwin AKA MC Mr. Napkins AKA all-around hilarious comedian is dropping his self-titled album 11/30/10 off of Comedy Central Records. Even if you don’t like rap songs about analyzing rap lyrics, geography, and bees, you should still be on the lookout for it because he’s that good. OR, you can just pre-order it on iTunes here.

6) The Comedy Bureau extends a congratulations to Shayne Michael as winner and Erik D. Schulte as the audience favorite for the first Joe Braza Comedy Invitational.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Paul Jay. “@pauljaycomic Love is: not throwing a nerd fit when your girlfriend watches "Casino” in the wrong aspect ratio.“ Follow him on twitter here or check out his awesome podcast, The Biggest Mistake here.

7) "Misadventures” isn’t exactly how I would describe the nightly explorations of the Comedy Bureau. I think “ceaseless insomnia-induced sojourn” is more appropriate. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun. It just never stops. NEVER. Follow the Comedy Bureau’s LIVE TWEETING of “whatever it is” here.

8) I would like an auctioneer to say, “Do I hear….?” in regards to donating to the Comedy Bureau, but I think they would have to start off with, “Do I hear…. anything?” Change that and donate here.

9) What happened to old school hecklers that actually made some sort of sense when they were interrupting? In this last week, I’ve seen mostly crazy people wearing a bunch of hats simultaneously that just say, “My name is Taxi-cab guy. I like house music.”

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Morning Debriefing 11/16/10

1) Performing at Keep it Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House was one of the best times I’ve ever had doing stand-up. With a crowd intent on listening (minus one of the supporting actors from Eastbound and Down that was wasted in the back of the bar), a perfectly darkened room with a spotlight that’s actually not blinding, and Matt Braunger absolutely “killing” it before I have to close the show, I/The Comedy Bureau actually had fun, as amazing hostess JC Coccoli suggested I do. As people already like coming down to 1739 Public House for the 64+ beers on tap/that hip Los Feliz atmosphere, the audience is surprisingly receptive to comedy as they were last night with the great line-up of Margie Kment (French Toast), Jono Zalay, Giulia Rozzi (Kimmel), April Richardson (Chelsea Lately), Matt Braunger (Letterman), and myself/Jake Kroeger/Bureau Director of the Comedy Bureau. Also, if everything else I just mentioned wasn’t enough of an incentive, this show is completely FREE and thus you should come to an edition of Keep It Clean Comedy. Keep It Clean Comedy: Every Monday at 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz). Free.

2) It’s a Little Big COMEDY CRAWL tonight with a light spread of some pretty BIG, fantastic shows. Oxymorons aside, start off with Shits & Giggles @ Club 8572/The Palms 7:30PM $10, then Laughing Skull Comedy Festival Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 8PM/10PM $10/2 item min., then Matty Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge: Writers of Conan Edition @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8:15PM FREE, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), and finish with Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5.

4) Today the Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Josh Haness and also wishes a damn fine birthday. RT @fuzzyjosh This month is National Spousal Abuse/Rape Awareness Month. It is being referred to as “No means NO!vember”. Follow him on Twitter here. Don’t miss his weekly show at Bar Lubitsch, “The Josh and Josh Show” on Thursdays at 8PM.

5) I know I said it already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is tonight and you need to be there to witness a whirlwind of comedy, cheap fish tacos, cheap beer, and raffles a plenty. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/Downtown. Sign up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM. LET’S WREAK SOME HAVOC without breaking anything.

6) The Comedy Bureau’s reach just got a little longer. In a good way. We’re on the national comedy forum “A Special Thing” now, which will just lead you back to here, again, in a good way.

7) Comedy adventures with the Comedy Bureau every night LIVE TWEETED here. Follow as I go anywhere from comedy purgatory to comedy hell (surprisingly large area in LA) to normalcy. Again, right here.

8) “Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is actually a good cause.” -a good person. Listen to this person and donate here.

9) I’m actually happy, which means it’s time to test that common theory that comedy will suffer due to feeling good about yourself…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/15/10

1) There is no such thing as the Library Cafe Open Mic in Los Angeles. (Sidenote: there is a great open mic on Wed. at Library: A Coffee House in Long Beach) This town is so disconnected, so uninformed within itself, and most importantly bad at promoting available stage time. Talking to the owner of Library Cafe in LA, she explained that only the same few people kept coming and it wasn’t that great. That is the result one gets when those “few people” keep an open mic secret, which can be understandable on their end, but this is what you should expect when you only tell a few friends to come on by. Again, LA is so decentralized and unaware that if you want people to come, you have to tell EVERYONE, even if it is free stage time. However, the Comedy Bureau will try to spread the word about new rooms/rooms no one’s ever heard of/rooms in Alhambra, etc. that most people won’t want to drive to.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is almost physically possible. I’m sure this isn’t a stat anybody really cares about, but let’s see how much “Comedy Stamina” you really have. Start off with a heavy laughs at What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill 8PM FREE, then a few more big chuckles at Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then a few more laughs and some smiles at Eli Braden @ Cherry Pit 9PM 749 W. Katella Ave., Orange, CA, and then finish off with mad dash of guffaws at Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705/705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7ishPM/10 min. stage time at least, PUKA BAR/710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/8PM, CASEY’S/613 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, TRIBAL CAFE/1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8PM, GROUND ZERO CAFE/615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC)/USC student Sign-up 9PM/Non Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 Cover/Free coffee & water.

4) The Comedy Bureau tips its hat to none other than Jeremy Paul for sharing this gem "My HMO does not cover titty glitter.“ He keeps saying he is going to die, but he’s going to be funny while doing it. Also, he wants to have his comedy special taped at the Alamo. Follow all of his hopes, dreams, and nightmares here.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition @ Señor Fish is TOMORROW! Comedy, $2 fish tacos, raffles, $3 domestic/$4 imported beers, three mics/three mic stands, and a whole lot more fun surprises. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles (in, you guessed it, Little Tokyo) Sign up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. Do not miss.

6) Well, well, well… if you were wondering A) who writes this blog? B) Where can I see this person perform? C) I know who writes this blog, but when is he ever actually doing a show? D) Why does this person do this to himself? I have all the answers TONIGHT. Go to Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House (1739 N. Vermont Ave. in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE. (yeah… that means I’m doing the show, so please come, and also get your answers to any of those questions that I’m sure all of you had)

7) As I’ll be performing and acting as the Comedy Bureau simultaneously, I’ll be trying to simultaneously live tweet at with my own personal account here, which only few people follow because it’s most like suicide jokes, and the actual Comedy Bureau account, which people actually like here. Follow both and see what happens.

8) Donate because I’d like to say, "This shit ain’t free, ya know?!?” but unfortunately can’t, because it is…. Please donate and I’ll write something better next time.

9) I’d like to believe that comedy is largely derived from finding the fallacy in what’s accepted, especially since I do stand up comedy and no one ever told me I was funny while growing up.

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