downtown – Page 3 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 3/16/11

March 16, 2011

acme, alhambra, andre hyland, behind the scenes, bob odenkirk, bridgetown comedy festival, comedy, comedy garage, culver city, documentary, downtown, little tokyo, los angeles, movie, portland, santa monica, webseries

1) The Comedy Garage Movie. Now available for order or download. Just do it.. OK?

2) Looking for a web series with Andre Hyland and Bob Odenkirk coming soon in April? Well, luckily, Phil Gower’s Safe Place is just exactly that.

3) Even more of LA’s very own are going to the Bridgetown Comedy Festival including: Dave Ross, Brandie Posey, Barbara Gray, Tamra Brown, and Robert Buscemi.

4) Result of March Comedy Madness at the Comedy Store after the first round:

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
If This Doesn’t Work Out, I’m Moving Home @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE
The Fix-Up Show w/J. Keith Van Straaten & Guest Alan Thicke @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $12
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8
The Man with F.E.E.E.T. Launch Event @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM $20
The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8
Frolic! @ Far Bar 9PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Westside Bar & Grill 9PM FREE
The Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

6) OPEN MIC RUN
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM
CAFE MUSE 6547 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM

7) Just read thousands of tweets right before writing this. I’m surprised I can still write in complete sentences.

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Morning Debriefing 3/15/11

1) The Bridgetown Comedy Festival (@bridgetown on Twitter) in Portland (it’s a big festival that relatively close to LA) has been officially announced!!! I.E. April 21st-24th with some of LA’s best including Kyle Kinane, Brent Weinbach, James Adomian, Jimmy Dore, Moshe Kasher, Mike Phirman, Jan Davidson, and much more!!! More details to come as we get them here at the Comedy Bureau.

2) #HigherStakesChildrensBooks-hilarious way to get through Tuesday on Twitter. Follow this hashtag to find stuff like this “@pattonoswalt Blueberries for Salo: 120 Day of Sodom” (may or may not be NSFW)

3) What to Watch/DVR This Week via Splitsider

4) Want to win guest spot on the Longshot Podcast w/Eddie Pepitone, Sean Conroy, Jamie Flam, and Amber Kenny? Make a video and you could be famous* (*amongst comedy nerds)

5) This Town is Big Enough for the Both of Us… and Even More-where the new comedy haunts in LA are.

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
The Good Luck Show @ The Good Luck Bar 7:30PM FREE
Out of the Wheelhouse @ Palms Bar 7:30PM FREE/$10 drink min.
Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy & Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min.
Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $6
Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE

7) OPEN MIC RUN
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM
WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM

8) Gilbert Gottfried got fired from Aflac as their spokesperson through tweeting what were deemed as offensive jokes about the recent disaster in Japan. Given the current state of the insurance industry, I’m pondering when they started caring about image?

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Morning Debriefing 3/9/11

1) Norm MacDonald’s new hour long Comedy Central Special has moved from this weekend to Saturday March 26th at 11:30PM. This should make up for Charlie Sheen stealing Norm’s Twitter thunder.

2) Comedian Eric Andre on Lopez Tonight.

3) The Nerdist Theater at Meltdown Comics… WHAT?!? Follow @nerdmelt down the comedy nerd rabbit hole to see some of the best comedy shows in LA.

4) Comedian Jesse Case explores the future of indie/alt comedy via what happened indie/alt music. READ IT. IT’S GOOD FOR YOU. [via Antithesis Comedy]

5) So all this Doug Stanhope buzz has recently come about because he’s releasing a new album called Oslo: Burning Bridges to Nowhere. Of course, this veritable wave of Stanhope is really all out-of-nowhere as it happened in Oslo and not anywhere near here, but hopefully the album’s release and distribution will change that.

6) Can’t get enough Action Figure Therapy? Why not get a shirt to show your pride in watching the youtube series sensation? That’s a thing that people do, right?

7) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
“If This Doesn’t Work Out, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE
The Adam Carolla Show w/Bobcat Goldthwait @ The Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $25/2 drink min.
Thai Rivera @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min.
The Fix Up Show w/ J. Keith Van Straaten and special guest Scott Thompson @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $12
Jim Bruce’s Mustache @ The Gardenia 8:30PM $5
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8
The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8
Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE
The Mostly Normal Show @ Improv Lab 10:30PM $5
The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

8) OPEN MIC RUN
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM
CAFE MUSE 6547 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM

9) The Battle of 1739 (Public House), a tale of comedy victory on Mar. 7th, 2011 at Keep It Clean Comedy will be posted later today.

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MARCH 15. MARIA BAMFORD.

March 7, 2011

Uncategorized

comedy central, comedy show, downtown, harris wittels, los angeles, maria bamford, parks and recreation, target

holyfreecomedy:

Morning Debriefing 3/6/11

1) In an ongoing confusion about the upcoming Comedy Awards, what exactly is “breakthrough” about any of the nominees for Breakthrough Performer of the Year? Most of these people have been around comedy for quite some time and are somewhat established, but the only thing that I can figure in regards to being breakthrough is that they have something, a TV show mostly, that’s really popular this year, as opposed to someone just having a whole round of debuts on the late night circuit as a comic whose name is just started to get known around entertainment and comedy circles alike. To be accurate, the award should be called Biggest Jump by a Comedic Performer in IMDB Starmeter This Year.

2) A big change is coming to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic as we’re now only featuring one special guest and this Tuesday, it’s going to be a great one as we’re having Brendon Walsh come down right before he goes on the Spring Value Tour with Neil Hamburger and Todd Barry.

3) ON THE HORIZON: Jimmy Dore’s Pop and Politics @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Apr. 2nd $10

4) Tip of the Hat Profile/Article of Ron Lynch to come later today…

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2
Armenian National Committee Fundraiser Starring Jackie Kashian @ Flappers Burbank $49.50/2 drink min.
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Comedy Barre @ Barre Vermont 8PM FREE/2 drink min.
Powerviolence @ The Complex 8:30PM FREE
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Another Gentle Evening with Josh & Dan @ Fake Gallery 8:30PM FREE
Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5
Gravid Water @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)

5) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/$5 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

6) I think have come to a point where I can only “nerd out” about comedy because all that I know. Unfortunately, that’s what I do for “work”, so I think I’ve become that guy who just can’t stop talking about work no matter where he is. Details on this development to follow.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

1) Why should you be reading the Comedy Bureau? Well… if you’ve ever read the mission statement, you can trust in the entire Comedy Bureau staff to keep you up to date on the best shows, open mics most worthy of your hard earned free time, all pertinent LA Comedy news big and small (all the way from Matt Braunger getting a pilot order from Comedy Central to when Paul F Tompkins is having a live tweeting event), and who really is on the trailblazing forefront of comedy in this town and what they’re doing to make it so, with the personal, one-of-a-kind personal touch of a comedian firmly dug into the trenches of the best and worst that Los Angeles has to offer comedy-wise (This is How to Make It in Comedy?). Just like when people frequently ask me how to get featured here, I tell them, “be funny and I’ll find it.”, conversely, if you want unequivocal, undeniable funny, keep finding your way back to the Comedy Bureau.

2) Boy, oh boy, we’re back in business with a regular COMEDY CRAWL and some of the best shows/comedians/people to make you laugh after sitting in traffic after getting off work on the first Monday of 2011: What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM, ARTIST ANARCHY @ PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30pm, SPEAKEASY @ HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up via e-mail speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com by 4PM/Starts promptly at 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) I understand if you just want to get home and have your comedy just done for you (though that’s pretty much what you do during a live show) Luckily, all you good folks can tune into IFC’s “Comedy Death Ray” w/host Scott Aukerman premiering tonight at 10PM and then catch Matt Braunger on the Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson 12:35AM on CBS.

5) “Is This Thing On?” Not only, “is it on”, the Gallery 1988 exhibition of 100 artists “taking” on representations of funny people like Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Murray, Louis CK, and many many more is something not to be missed. Starting this Fri. Jan. 7th at Gallery 1988, check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details this week.

6) Something that you might not know about the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic this Tues.: Señor Fish is open until 1AM and if there’s people still on the list, I’ll keep it running until then. Oh yeah, Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters are going to be there too. That’s enough reasons to go I think. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian My Vision Board wants me to get bi-focals.” This is Jackie’s second of the Tip of the Hat and I’m more than happy to give it to her just like I’m happy to go out of my way to see her because she is one of a couple of comedians who I literally witness “just turn it on” whenever they feel like it since they have the ability to do that. Also, her stories about her dad and husband are ones that need to be heard. You can do so tonight at What’s Up Tiger Lily? 8PM FREE, tomorrow at Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, and this Wed. at Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8 Website. Twitter. Tumblr. Dorkforest.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Starting from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this took place within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredible Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

Still can’t really figure out what exactly what the “trick” is, which is why I will definitely go to the next edition of this show and you should too. Trick takes places one Sunday a month at Bordello Bar just East of downtown LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next. one.

2) This is officially the shortest COMEDY CRAWL in the history of the Comedy Bureau and one that you can actually make both shows (well… if you are able to get into the second one that is….) What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Now a message from comedienne Barbara Gray: If you haven’t heard, Casey’s cancelled the open mic because they felt it wasn’t bringing them business. Call Casey’s today and ask them if there is an open mic. Nothing offensive or rude, but I think this is a great way to just show them how many people they are missing out on coming to the bar. (213) 629-2353 is the number. They open at 11:30 am. Please pass this on to comics who may be interested.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is going for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN!!! Raffles a-plenty of food and pieces of Russell’s childhood and some other stuff my sleeve, not to mention, MARIANNE SIERK!!! Come to Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to AMY DRESNER-“@AmyDresner I just wept during an episode of Law & Order: SVU. My meds must be off.” I personally admire Amy for her brutal honesty on stage, which is a laugh riot, and her “bringing the goods” comedy wise every time I’ve seen her live. Check out her website and follow her on Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Started from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this takes places within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredibly Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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Morning Debriefing 12/16/10

1) Apparently, enough people read this blog in the LA comedy community so that The World Famous Comedy Store has taken notice.

The last time I heard anything from anybody at the Comedy Store was a couple a months ago when someone asked me, “Can you bring 5 people?” I’m glad that writing ABOUT comedy as opposed to writing and performing comedy, which I still voraciously commit myself to daily/nightly, is getting me somewhere. Thanks to all who read and there will be a night that I go to the Comedy Store/Improv/Ice House/etc. after I get some cash from Christmas “returns” and I’ll be pleasantly surprised if anybody knows who I am.

2) Yeah, there’s 12 shows on this list. Can I make it to all of them? Of course I can and so should you (STOP WORKING OUT THE “MOVIE PHYSICS” IN YOUR HEAD!!!) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL includes The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $18, Crisis on Infinite Comics and Comics 3-yr. Anniversary @ Meltdown Comics 7PM $5, Charlyne Yi @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Subversive Comedy w/Jimmy Dore & Friends @ Flappers Claremont 8PM $12/2 drink min., Comedy90210 @ Roxybury Cafe 8PM $5, 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE, Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 8PM $30/2 drink min., 2nd Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever!!! @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10/Two-for-one $5 each, Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE, Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 8PM $17/2 drink min., The Produce Section Show @ 767 Central Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown) 8PM FREE (say “produce section” to doorman to get in), and certainly the last, but not least by any stretch of the imagination The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE. Not that bad, right?

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE 1061 S. La Brea, Inglewood, CA/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Staying in because you have become it’s no longer slightly breezy at 70? Watch Johnny Pemberton on MTV’s Megadrive 11PM or Matt Braunger on E!’s Chelsea Lately also at 11PM because you will something actually or verbally destroyed.

5) There are actually more open mics that happen than what I list daily above in the “OPEN MIC RUN” feature. That rundown basically lists what I think is worth your time on a nightly basis, more or less (i.e. you won’t want to entirely quit comedy after doing those rooms). For an even more comprehensive listing, go to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, which lists every open mic I know of (constantly updated).

6) Maria Bamford’s One-Hour Homemade Christmas Special! FREE! RIGHT HERE! FROM THE COMFORT OF THE VERY POSITION THAT YOU’RE SITTING IN!!!

7) For the Comedy Bureau “Tip of the Hat”, I follow over 300 people on Twitter, am friends with over 300 comics on Facebook, and follow over 80 people on Tumblr, ALL OF WHICH IS READ BY ME (that does indeed me I read every f’n tweet/blog of every person I follow). This is why I’m severely curtailing following more people on Twitter and Tumblr to keep my sanity. However, if you want to be considered for the “Tip of the Hat”, you can make my life infinitely easier by submitting a status update/tweet/quote/blog post/joke/video/picture that you took/etc. to thecomedybureau@gmail.com with your name, “FYC Tip of the Hat”, and the date in the subject line. Speaking of which…

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVE ROSS-“@davetotheross honestly ladies, a side-hug might as well be a fork in the eye.” Dave Ross joins the “Tip of the Hat x 2 Club” here and deservedly so with his dominating and hilarious online presence (Dave’s Cats and Pussy Podcast was nominated by Punchline Magazine as one of the Best New Podcasts of 2010) and his show Holy Fuck!, one of my favorites about town. So… check out Dave’s fantastic website and follow him on Twitter and don’t miss the next edition of Holy Fuck! next Tuesday Dec. 21st at the Downtown Independent Theatre for completely fucking FREE!!!

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks on Marketing (RIP Bill Hicks… Dec. 16th was his birthday)

10) “Build it and they will donate.”-Cheap attempt #23 to get people to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

11) TONIGHT: LIVE TWEETING at a Run of Shows OR Open Mics—-follow here to find out where my comedy misadventures take me tonight. (Perhaps I’ll try some of that Asian Christmas work party material….)

12) When going over a joke with the word “normalcy” in it, someone once told me that “normalcy” was a big word. Perhaps, he’s the type of person that would only understand the term “double plus normal way”.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/16/10

1) Apparently, enough people read this blog in the LA comedy community so that The World Famous Comedy Store has taken notice.

The last time I heard anything from anybody at the Comedy Store was a couple a months ago when someone asked me, “Can you bring 5 people?” I’m glad that writing ABOUT comedy as opposed to writing and performing comedy, which I still voraciously commit myself to daily/nightly, is getting me somewhere. Thanks to all who read and there will be a night that I go to the Comedy Store/Improv/Ice House/etc. after I get some cash from Christmas “returns” and I’ll be pleasantly surprised if anybody knows who I am.

4) There are actually more open mics that happen than what I list daily above in the “OPEN MIC RUN” feature. That rundown basically lists what I think is worth your time on a nightly basis, more or less (i.e. you won’t want to entirely quit comedy after doing those rooms). For an even more comprehensive listing, go to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, which lists every open mic I know of (constantly updated).

5) Maria Bamford’s One-Hour Homemade Christmas Special! FREE! RIGHT HERE! FROM THE COMFORT OF THE VERY POSITION THAT YOU’RE SITTING IN!!!

6) For the Comedy Bureau “Tip of the Hat”, I follow over 300 people on Twitter, am friends with over 300 comics on Facebook, and follow over 80 people on Tumblr, ALL OF WHICH IS READ BY ME (that does indeed me I read every f’n tweet/blog of every person I follow). This is why I’m severely curtailing following more people on Twitter and Tumblr to keep my sanity. However, if you want to be considered for the “Tip of the Hat”, you can make my life infinitely easier by submitting a status update/tweet/quote/blog post/joke/video/picture that you took/etc. to thecomedybureau@gmail.com with your name, “FYC Tip of the Hat”, and the date in the subject line. Speaking of which…

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVE ROSS-“@davetotheross honestly ladies, a side-hug might as well be a fork in the eye.” Dave Ross joins the “Tip of the Hat x 2 Club” here and deservedly so with his dominating and hilarious online presence (Dave’s Cats and Pussy Podcast was nominated by Punchline Magazine as one of the Best New Podcasts of 2010) and his show Holy Fuck!, one of my favorites about town. So… check out Dave’s fantastic website and follow him on Twitter and don’t miss the next edition of Holy Fuck! next Tuesday Dec. 21st at the Downtown Independent Theatre for completely fucking FREE!!!

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks on Marketing (RIP Bill Hicks… Dec. 16th was his birthday)

9) “Build it and they will donate.”-Cheap attempt #23 to get people to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

10) TONIGHT: LIVE TWEETING at a Run of Shows OR Open Mics—-follow here to find out where my comedy misadventures take me tonight. (Perhaps I’ll try some of that Asian Christmas work party material….)

11) When going over a joke with the word “normalcy” in it, someone once told me that “normalcy” was a big word. Perhaps, he’s the type of person that would only understand the term “double plus normal way”.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

1) It’s the nature of any comedy scene that shows come and go, but it’s a real tragedy to see a show put on by great people shut down. In the past week, two such shows, Sweet and Sour Comedy and The Akaaba Presents, reached their end of their runs due to the unfortunate circumstance that the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area is overrun with comedy shows as you can see in the “The Greater LA Comedy Landscape” Map. Abbey Londer (Sweet and Sour Comedy), Jeremy Paul & Joe Braza (The Akaaba Presents) are some of the funniest and best, most decent people I have come to know in LA comedy, but, most venues don’t really care about the intangibles of comedy so much as they care about turning a profit off of a show whether it’s well-produced and truly funny OR abusively-run and hacky. With a city overpopulated with live comedy shows/venues and the predominant perception of live comedy being loud-mouthed, rude, and completely uncouth that relies more on shock and x-rated content than any sort of comedic artistry, getting the average “real” person to a comedy show in LA is almost a miracle. To have things change in LA Comedy, and to even suggest this in times like these requires a serious lack of sanity, is to change people’s perceptions of what comedy really is or at least broaden their idea of it to include smart, insightful humor from incredibly hard-working and talented folks that perform night in and night out mostly for free. Most people aren’t even aware that “we”, (in case you are a real person that hasn’t met me personally, I’m one of “those” comics too) exist and I try to remedy that problem as much as I can through this blog and The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List, but really, I’m only one guy with a laptop, a camera, an iPhone, and some decent material. Perhaps, in the coming year, the Comedy Bureau will grow to a big enough proportion where change can be affected through one fell swoop of me typing so I won’t have to worry about trying to see damn hilarious people like Abbey, Jeremy, and Joe live because their shows ended permanently. Check back here for progress on that front.

2) This entire week’s COMEDY CRAWL is seemingly jam packed before most shows go into hibernation for the holidays, so make sure you catch all the comedy you can before you stuck with a season of a TV show you didn’t want on DVD. Start with Merrillwood Live @ Paul G Gleason Theatre 7PM FREE, then Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 7:30PM $5, then “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour Christmas Special @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then The Nerdist Presents “Comics You Should Know” @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15, then The Long Shot Podcast Season 2 Finale @ The Fake Gallery 8:30PM $5, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, and finish with Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/7PM to 8:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” officially dropped yesterday on AST Records and, yes, you should have picked it up yesterday, but, now, you can make up for that by picking it up today.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT CHAMPAGNE-Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.”
Matt Champagne is simultaneously witty and insightful and then incredibly animated when he takes the stage, which is why he is a favorite of many rooms in LA. You can catch him live tomorrow at A Pint of Funny @ O’Brien’s Pub (2941 Main St., Santa Monica, CA) 8PM and you should never miss his daily thoughts in word form on his blog I Remain Champagne.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Norm MacDonald’s Final Appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

7) I already made a plug for donations above, so…. I’ll just do it again here.

8) An elderly woman a few nights ago softly clasped my forearm and said, “I’m looking for a young Steven Wright.” I did walk away and was shocked by the, at least, 40 years age difference AND the fact she obviously never listened to anything I said because I don’t do one-liners.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

1) The following is a page from one of my various comedy notebooks. I almost forgot that I had written this down, but I’ll just say this is probably something that all of comedians and comediennes go through. Well, I hope so….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is one for the ages, certainly this year, and one that I won’t waste on clever quips and metaphors. LET’S GO to Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH/LAST SHOW EVER @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics w/RSVP), then Pink Door Cancer Fundraiser for Joan Miracle and Linda Gysin @ Harvelle’s Blues Bar 7:30PM $20, then Out West Holiday Extravaganza @ RoosterFish 8PM $5, then Drew Carey and the Improv All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray Best Christmas Nativity Pageant Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $25 (stand by only), then Hamclown 2 @ Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor/The Mezz) 8:30PM FREE, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and if you’re still alive, finish with G-damn Comedy Jam @ Mare’ka 9PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, THE COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

6) As mentioned in the “Open Mic Run” feature above, THERE GON’ BE SOME BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! TONY SAM AND JAMIE LEE GON’ BRING THE PAIN!!! (no structures and/or person/persons shall be harmed during the duration of this open mic) As always, $2 fish tacos, delicious potatoes tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported, and raffles a plenty down at SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JOSH FADEM-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Spinning, whirring, and crashing throughout on any given night on any given stage, Josh Fadem combines a smart sense of humor with the comedic sensibilities of Tex Avery and is quite the treat to see live. That’s why he’s one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch of this year. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show Also, don’t miss him on Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

10) Since none of you got back to me on the idea of wearing a reporter’s fedora when out at the Comedy Bureau, I’ll just go ahead and do it and perhaps suffer the consequences, if there are any, or…. yeah, that’s probably the only thing that’ll happen.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/6/10

1) Most comics in Los Angeles find that they can only get up once a night. Some of the more dedicated comics hustle out to do two spots in one night, then the hardest workers I find can do about four in one night, if there’s the opportunity to. Tonight, for benefit of the LA comedy community, the Comedy Bureau is going to go up about 8 times, possibly even more, by performing at Marty’s/The Open Mic from 5PM to 11PM to let you know what it’s like without you ever having to try it. Marty’s is an open mic that allows performers, after they pay the $5 cover, to go up as many times as they want/feel is necessary/can handle. You can follow this journey into what very well might be a productive night of comedy OR comedy purgatory bordering on the tips of the flames of comedy hell on Twitter right here.

2) Nice and easy seems to be theme of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with all of the weekly shows regularly listed here in full effect (NOT TO MENTION THAT ALL OF THIS COSTS JUST $5) Start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, and I’m sure you’ll have enough money to finish off the night at Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 and be able to get home.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts “around” 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Louis CK was on the Tonight Show. I didn’t get to watch it live because I was performing at an AA room, but I watched parts 1-3 of the interview here, here, and here.

5) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is back for PART 5!!! Tomorrow night’s very, incredibly, special guest: ABBEY LONDER!!! Oh yeah, don’t forget $2 fish tacos and raffles galore (meaning probably 3). Tues. Dec. 7th @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT KNUDSEN “@matt_knudsen I love reindeer. They are delicious.” Armed with his incredibly astute, sharp one-liners and his remarkably delightful low-key presence, Matt Knudsen not only gets to entertain all around Los Angeles, but is regularly featured on several TV shows including, most recently, Detroit 1-8-7 and Men of a Certain Age. He just released an album, “The Comedic Stylings of Matt Knudsen”, which you should definitely buy and can be seen live this week at the “Toys for Tots Benefit” @ Hudson Mainstage Wed. Dec. 8th and improv group “The Waterbrains” @ The Westside Comedy Theatre“ Fri. Dec. 10th $10. Do not forget to check out his website and follow him on Twitter.

7) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Sam Kinison’s First Appearance on Letterman

8) I’m doing basically an entire 12 hour day for LA Comedy today. Please donate (cash donations in person accepted as Tumblr is down).

9) Tumblr can’t stop the Comedy Bureau, but many near and dear friends tell me “dating a woman” would probably do the trick. I’ll guess we’ll have to find out….

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/1/10

1) The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre showed how beautiful the concept of a prank could really be. Whether telling stories that are acted out in dazzling fashion of “pranks” being pulled on them or having guest performers pull “pranks” on the entire audience or enacting “The Popcorn Trick”, one never gets a feeling of ill will towards Chris and David Walsh, but, instead, just simply has a spirited fun time. Without tipping off too much, The Walsh Brothers offered an absolutely superb variety of acts ranging from hilarious sketches featuring themselves James Patterson reading letters to Billionaires and their subsequent responses to the amazing Tony Sam as Electroface, an insecure pro-wrestler, to even an amazing part of the show just called ‘Personal Disco’. Though some of The Walsh Brothers act may seem incredibly goofy at the beginning, Chris and David maintain such a great balance of commitment/fearlessness throughout whatever they’re doing on stage that keeps the audience engaged to the end, which is actually quite genius. If you really want to see what I’m talking about, the Walsh Brothers Show takes places frequently at the UCB Theatre and the Walsh Brothers themselves perform all around LA, so check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on upcoming shows.

2) BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME OUT TO BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC LAST NIGHT!! IT WAS SO FANTASTIC WITH RYAN STOUT ACTUALLY COMING DOWN AND ACTUALLY GETTING AN APPLAUSE BREAK THAT IT NECESSITATES ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! DON’T MISS IT NEXT TUESDAY @ SEÑOR FISH, 422 E. 1ST ST. SIGN-UP 6:30PM/STARTS 7PM.

3) I know that already just eye-balling this tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you might feel intimidated, but I’m just going to go ahead and say DEAL WITH IT!!! All these shows are going to be a damn good time and should not be missed. Start off with Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater (awesome video promo) 8PM $5, then Frolic @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Maria Bamford’s Eagle Rock Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation, then You’ve Seen These Guys @ The Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, then Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min., then Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., then finish STRONG with the Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY: A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd st., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The lovely and talented Kate Micucci of Garfunkel and Oates just dropped her solo album Phone Home (don’t worry, Garfunkel and Oates are still together), which I highly suggest that you check out/buy/download/support/listen to when you really need to smile. You can do so right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVEY JOHNSON-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey Johnson is a whirlwind of comedy in LA that definitely needs to be seen live to really experience the full force of hilarity. Performing routinely with some of the best sketch groups in LA, which includes his own “The Doorknockers” with the also amazing Randy Liedtke featured weekly at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch”, Davey Johnson “rolls with it” in the best way possible. You can see Davey tonight in the aforementioned Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $5 and at The Second Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever @ The Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 16th 8PM $10. Also, you can follow Davey on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Doug Stanhope’s Comedy Death Camp

8) Donating blood leaves you sleepy and most likely unable to live tweet about it or subsequently laugh about it. Avoid this situation by donating and following the Comedy Bureau.

9) Sometimes I feel so close to getting somewhere in comedy, which always seems to be accompanied by the feeling of going completely broke.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/29/10

1) RIP Leslie Nielsen-Without Surf Ninjas, I don’t think I would have had a childhood.

2) You want a ‘Recession Special Sale’? Do you want a ‘Holiday Special Sale’? Well, forget both of those because probably the cheapest/best COMEDY CRAWL I’ve ever posted. So start saving with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House FREE, and feel like you’ve gotten your $5 dollars worth by ending the night with Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUGH FACTORY 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6:30PM/10-15 spots available, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts around 7PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles CA (on USC campus between Marks Hall, Marks Tower, and Trojan Residence Hall Dorms)/USC Student Sign-up 9PM/Non-USC Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central just released its list of the best breakout comedians of 2010 and Comedy Bureau favorites Kyle Kinane and Chelsea Peretti (Reggie Watts too, though he’s NYC) made the list. Congratulations to them as they will all be featured on Comedy Central this Friday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic PART 4 is TOMORROW NIGHT and we have RYAN STOUT coming down to perform as a very special guest. Yeah, that’s RYAN STOUT everyone. Plus a happy hour w/$2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, raffles a plenty, etc. Again, TOMORROW Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Señor Fish/422 E. 1st St. (Little Tokyo/near downtown).

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ANDY PETERS–

Hailing from Seattle, Andy now, luckily for us, Los Angeles his home and is a favorite all around the LA comedy circuit from the likes of the Hollywood Improv to the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. Absolutely “tearing it up” on stage with his fierce, irreverent style, one should never miss a chance to see Andy Peters perform. Your next chance will be tonight at Anthill Pub & Grille (C-215 Student Center, UCI, Irvine, CA ) 9PM FREE and at Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv Dec. 1st 10PM $14/2 item min. Also be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Play From Your Fucking Heart

7) So the Comedy Bureau will be at an open mic tonight, so THERE WILL BE LIVE TWEETING (oh, and it will be some fun as this open mic doesn’t have a host). I’ll be taking donations here. I mean, please give… here.

8) Getting ready for a show that takes place after an AA meeting this week. Somehow, I don’t think open mics help that much in this regard.

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Morning Debriefing 11/22/10

1) Depression-a-palooza @ my own head, basically, is something you never want to go to. Last night was the first time I didn’t go out in several months and let’s just hope this doesn’t happen too frequently, mostly because drinking alone is never a pleasant experience (i.e. I tweeted, “Apparently, I’m the star of Home Alone 7: It’s Your Own Fault Because You Won’t Try Online Dating. #straighttovideo #diealone #samething).

2) COMEDY CRAWL Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10, Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour @ Largo 8PM $20, Dame Funny @ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $20/2 drink min., What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7PMish, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8:15PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on eastern most side of USC campus/in between dormitories)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour is taking submissions to come to your house/apartment/living space. Just make a 2 minute video and post it on facebook here to have a chance to have Tig Notaro and her friends have a friggin’ comedy show in your backyard/living room/where you don’t sleep in your living space.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is tomorrow night. Last week I gave away cheeseburger shaped cookies and a 15-min. drop in spot. WHO KNOW WANTS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK?!?!? Show up and find out. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

6) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to ANDRÉS DU BOUCHET for this amazing two-part tweet: “@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written "HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).“ Andrés currently and deservedly writes for Conan here in LA. Here’s his site/blog here and then you can follow him on Twitter here. DO IT NOW!!!

7) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau: "Tip of the Hat” Archive and everything and anything that’s “Bureau Approved” featuring everything that’s already been featured so all of you fine folks can find it quite easily instead of digging through all of these posts like I do.

8) I wouldn’t be asking for a donation if I wasn’t currently writing this blog on my bed. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau so we can change this (mostly for a bigger bed).

9) Planning to watch Social Network today, then write 5 minutes on it. Instead of being on the cutting edge with the latest news, I like being “dollar theater” topical, though I may need to start a show at a dollar theater for it to work.

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Post Brunch Update 11/17/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish thanks everyone for coming out and making it a bigger room. Also, thanks to “cheeseburger cookies” that were raffled off tasting like normal vanilla flavored/chocolate filled cookies. Come next Tues. Nov. 23rd for the mayhem/fun and another random Japanese food item. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

2) Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre gave an increasingly rare experience amongst live comedy shows where performers actually talk about themselves as honestly as they possibly can. So much painful/endearing humor can be drawn from the horrible/amazing things that happen in life and Stripped Stories showed, beyond a shadow of doubt, how great that can be. Though the name of the show might lead you to believe it’s just a bunch of vulgar sex stories, I believe that “stripped” is in reference into how every performer on the show strips their normal stage persona and become vulnerable and hilarious in a way that I never expected. In from NYC, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman stopped here in LA with their amazing show at the UCB Theatre and hosted/shared some sensational and hysterical stories with Michelle Buteau, Tony Sam, and a few musical confessions from Wendy Ho. Stripped Stories tours nationwide and check back at the Comedy Bureau for the details for the next show.

3) OK, we’ve talked about cloning and I’m pretty sure traveling through time to get to COMEDY CRAWL in its entirety. Well, you’re going to have to BOTH for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: Start off with The Frolic Show! @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then travel back in time to The Laughing Skull Showcase @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., make a clone, send it to “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then have the clone go back in time to Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8PM FREE, then travel to the future, or present, to Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then meet up with your clone at Biscuits and Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, make another clone and send it to Silver Mullet @ The Hideout 8:30PM FREE, then send the first clone to Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and go ahead and teleport to Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $20, then take yourself to Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 10PM FREE, and then gather everyone at Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, then kill the clones and destroy the time machines because they turned out to be your doppelgangers bent on making 2010 the new 2012.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/6:30PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach CA/8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St. Sign-up 7PM/Starts at 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/can go up multiple times.

5) Holy Fuck! The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Dave Ross. “@davetotheross ask not what your country can do for you… ask China. they have money.” Follow him on Twitter here. Great guy/comedian/obsessed with the F word Dave Ross also his year anniversary of his amazing show Holy Fuck! next Tues., Nov. 23rd, 9PM @ Downtown Independent Theatre, which is something not to be missed.

6) The Comedy Bureau will be in at a few open mics, a comedy competition doing only 3 min., and wondering what has become of the comedy scene in Long Beach tonight. Hear all about it as I’ll/we’ll be LIVE TWEETING the whole time here.

7) Donate and I’ll temporarily lift my belief that karma doesn’t exist AND something good will happen to you. Test that theory here.

8) Tony Parker/Eva Longoria divorce jokes vs. more Prop. 19 failing jokes. I’m wondering which of the two I’ll hear more tonight and why I’d rather hear more 9/11 jokes.

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