comedy – Page 11 – The Comedy Bureau

Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

1) It’s simply not enough to say that Frolic @ Far Bar is just a great show with a fantastic line-up of comics (which it is). With live comedy, running over 90 minutes, in my opinion, one enters extremely tricky territory as the audience tires, settles their check, and checks any pertinent e-mail/texts. Yet producer/comic Josh Rencher

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

Brent Weinbach,

Zach Sherwin,

Kyle Kinane,

Melissa Villaseñor,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Forget about the N word being taken out of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn and how he must be rolling in his grave LAUGHING and saying, “I told you so!” Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL instead. Persona @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/free for comics, The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, Fifty First Jokes @ Zephyr Theatre 9:30PM $7 (stand-by only), How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE OPEN MIC 1061 S. La Brea, Ingelwood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Next Tues. Jan. 11th. Louis CK will be dropping his upcoming album “Hilarious”. You should go buy it. I don’t think I can make this anymore matter-of-fact than the last two sentences except for this next one. Just go and buy it.

5) If you suffer from not having enough Marc Maron in your smartphone like I do, there is now a WTF Podcast w/Marc Maron app available for the iPhone, iPod, and iPad that you can stream multitudes of episodes off of or even be able to call the show when it’s taping. It’s Marc Maron for only $0.99. You can’t really turn that down. Really.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAN DOMINGUEZ-“@dandomingueznow And, Lo a pale rider, on a skeletal horse, and Hell followed with him, and behind Hell: Incredible savings! Over 30% off on all housewares!” Dan not only cheats the edges of absurdity with his comedy, but comprises one third of the force that is the Biggest Mistake Podcast (other 2/3 is Paul Jay and Jen Goldberg) and a major part of the “manly as f” site manosterone.com. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for show dates as you don’t want to miss whatever Dan is going to say next. Website. Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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Morning Debriefing 1/5/11

1) Now for another edition of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”. The thoughts (as fragmented and schizo as they might be) of Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger/@blitzkroeger on Twitter.—PEOPLE MUST THINK THIS PART OF THE MORNING DEBRIEFING SHOULD BE CALLED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!! Really, how many people do you think read every part of this site? STOP IT ALREADY! You had a good comedy night. Oh really? Someone left Dec. 26th tickets to True Grit in the donation bucket at Señor Fish last night. Well, that’s bound to happen. Exactly how conscious are you as you write this post? Do you realize you’re calling this a MORNING debriefing and it’s currently 12:23PM PST? Get your shit together man (and you wonder why only 52 people read your post yesterday). It’s a start; a pretty good start, actually. OK, keep telling yourself that. Why don’t you write a bit about it, huh? It’ll go into the “you don’t know what you’re doing” portion of your act. SHUT UP! OK, got to finish this post, convince myself paying $5 at Marty’s/The Open Mic is worth it, and…. SHIT I have a show on Friday. Yeah, you do. It’ll be fine. Really, it will be fine. Oh yeah, I’m sure opening with that new “New Year’s” bit is just going to kill. Are you being ironic with me, right now? You’re funny. Thanks for that. Finally. ———– (those dashes are italicized)

2) I’m really trying to soak in the greatness of last night at Señor Fish and the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Thanks once again to Jackie Kashian, Andy Peters, the multitude of comics that came out, and $2 fish tacos. See you guys next Tuesday for another extravaganza and a half (maybe I’ll even have the Big Trouble in Little China Soundtrack by that point).

3) The Comedy Bureau staff actually got into a huge debate as what to post on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. The ordeal is fortunately is over and was strangely brought to an end by everyone getting their coffee and taking the office dog for a walk. You’ve Seen These Guys @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 drink min., Frolic @ Far Bar 9PM FREE, “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8/free beer, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland, Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/multiple sets allowed.

5) New Tenacious D album to be expected at the end of 2011. That’s all you should need to know for now. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

6) I’m barely conscious enough to type today’s post and I know I said I was going to say who to vote for Comedy Central’s Stand Up Showdown, but just check back at the Comedy Bureau for my recommendations. (in the meantime vote for Matt Braunger, Ryan Stout, and Mo Mandel)

7) Matt Braunger was on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. If you missed it like I did because you hate yourself like I do (that part is not necessary) you can catch it here.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LAUREN ASHLEY BISHOP "@sbellelauren well. we just beat ourselves. good game bourbon.“ Lauren is about to tour THE WORLD (she’s doing comedy in Africa in a few days). Forget about skipping to your local comedy club to do/see a few minutes about whatever is trending on Twitter. Sharp in her observations in her life and her views on the world, Lauren will hopefully come back to LA soon to share her comedic "wealth” (comedy, not money…. though money would be nice). Tumblr. Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy French Stewart, Burt Reynolds, and Sean Connery

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Someone really left tickets to True Grit from last year in the donation bucket last night.

11) Some people think that this might be my job because it seemingly takes up all my time. Anyone who wants to make that a 100% true statement, your help would be greatly appreciated.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

1) Why should you be reading the Comedy Bureau? Well… if you’ve ever read the mission statement, you can trust in the entire Comedy Bureau staff to keep you up to date on the best shows, open mics most worthy of your hard earned free time, all pertinent LA Comedy news big and small (all the way from Matt Braunger getting a pilot order from Comedy Central to when Paul F Tompkins is having a live tweeting event), and who really is on the trailblazing forefront of comedy in this town and what they’re doing to make it so, with the personal, one-of-a-kind personal touch of a comedian firmly dug into the trenches of the best and worst that Los Angeles has to offer comedy-wise (This is How to Make It in Comedy?). Just like when people frequently ask me how to get featured here, I tell them, “be funny and I’ll find it.”, conversely, if you want unequivocal, undeniable funny, keep finding your way back to the Comedy Bureau.

2) Boy, oh boy, we’re back in business with a regular COMEDY CRAWL and some of the best shows/comedians/people to make you laugh after sitting in traffic after getting off work on the first Monday of 2011: What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM, ARTIST ANARCHY @ PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30pm, SPEAKEASY @ HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up via e-mail speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com by 4PM/Starts promptly at 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) I understand if you just want to get home and have your comedy just done for you (though that’s pretty much what you do during a live show) Luckily, all you good folks can tune into IFC’s “Comedy Death Ray” w/host Scott Aukerman premiering tonight at 10PM and then catch Matt Braunger on the Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson 12:35AM on CBS.

5) “Is This Thing On?” Not only, “is it on”, the Gallery 1988 exhibition of 100 artists “taking” on representations of funny people like Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Murray, Louis CK, and many many more is something not to be missed. Starting this Fri. Jan. 7th at Gallery 1988, check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details this week.

6) Something that you might not know about the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic this Tues.: Señor Fish is open until 1AM and if there’s people still on the list, I’ll keep it running until then. Oh yeah, Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters are going to be there too. That’s enough reasons to go I think. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian My Vision Board wants me to get bi-focals.” This is Jackie’s second of the Tip of the Hat and I’m more than happy to give it to her just like I’m happy to go out of my way to see her because she is one of a couple of comedians who I literally witness “just turn it on” whenever they feel like it since they have the ability to do that. Also, her stories about her dad and husband are ones that need to be heard. You can do so tonight at What’s Up Tiger Lily? 8PM FREE, tomorrow at Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, and this Wed. at Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8 Website. Twitter. Tumblr. Dorkforest.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/2/11

1) In regards to Huffington Post’s “50 Funniest People of the Decade”, do those in charge of “informing” the public on “what is comedy” even know what comedy is anymore? Within their end-all, be all list for 2001-2010, they, first off, include Anderson Cooper, a strict journalist. Out of entire 10 years of comedy, the Huffington Post Comedy Staff actually decided to put the names Anderson Cooper amongst names like Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Conan O’Brien, and Paul F. Tompkins, which can only leave me to draw the conclusion that, like so many other “Best/Most Ever” lists, this is more of a popularity contest. Just like winning the Grammy for “Best Hip Hop Artist” has no actual bearing on talent so much as it does Soundscan’s numbers on someone’s shitty, air-horn laden, drenched-in-autotune single, being put on this particular list of who were the funniest people in the last ten years doesn’t necessarily indicate that the person “defined comedy” in that time (which is what the name of the list leads readers to believe). I understand that compiling such lists are incredibly stressful and time-consuming as I spent nearly three solid hours composing #Follow2011LAfunniest, a list of who you should follow on Twitter in 2011 (which is way better than Huffington Post version, if I may say so myself). There is a constant debate, even with only one person calling the shots, in trying to decide who makes the cut, but, you have to be objective as possible with what you’re compiling the list for. Thus, Huffington Post should have made “The 50 Funniest People that I Happen To Know About and/or Are Really Popular” to be more accurate. That’s why #Follow2011LAfunniest has people that may not have as many followers as @azizansari, but are consistently funnier than him along their entire log of Tweets. Several people are surprised with omissions of this Huffington Post list considering they are comedians/writers that are much funnier than the one’s featured. However, in deciphering what that list is really based on, I’m surprised that names omitted include Larry King and Russell Peters.

2) Oh, look, all kidding aside, you could physically make all of these shows, for once, on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (as well as afford them): The Not So Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12 (stand-by only), ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS (call 310 652 6188 before going) 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STARTING JAN. 3RD (that’s tomorrow) Scott Aukerman of Comedy Death Ray will host IFC’s own “Comedy Death Ray” featuring a 90 minute block of now-comedy classics like “Arrested Development”, “Freaks and Geeks”, “Undeclared”, “The Larry Sanders Show”, and “The Ben Stiller Show”. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, tune in on IFC at 10PM to not only catch some of the best comedy series ever created, but Scott Aukerman and several other figures within the comedy world weighing in on them.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Jokes. Destruction of public property. Fish Tacos. Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters. Don’t miss it. Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN: “AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR [HQ]” Lizzy is almost beyond words, but here I am, yet again, writing about her comedic genius. Three Time Tip of the Hat winner Lizzy Cooperman is of such a rare ilk of skilled comedic performer that she still makes me laugh with the same jokes even though I’ve heard them 20 times. You can “witness” her this Tues. Jan 4th at Shooting Gallery @ Club 8572/Palms 8:30PM $10 or Thurs. Jan. 6th at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Website. Twitter. Birds of Prey.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ron Lynch-Comedian of the Future

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. In 2011, there are no other problems, except the Comedy Bureau having $nothing.

9) 2011 Comedy Predictions: Getting a Favstar 100 on Twitter will become more important than doing certain rooms/shows.

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Post Brunch Update 1/1/11

1) “#Follow2011LAfunniest” represents the 13 funniest folks (2+0+11) in LA on Twitter. If you want your 2011 to be anything resembling an improvement from 2010, then you should read EVERYTHING these fine people write (oh yeah, you should go see them at a show… they’re pretty hilarious in real life too). #Follow2011LAfunniest Lizzy Cooperman (@lizzycooperman), Eddie Pepitone (@eddiepepitone), Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane), Paul Jay (@pauljaycomic), Andrés du Bouchet (@dubouchet), Matt Knudsen (@matt_knudsen), Matt Dwyer (@matt_dwyer), Tony Sam (@tonysam76), Ryan Stout (@stoutryan), Dave Ross (@davetotheross), Lauren Ashley Bishop (@sbellelauren), Robert Buscemi (@robertbuscemi), and Jamie Lee (@thejamielee).

2) 8PM’s about when you’ll regain consciousness today, I mean this evening and try to remember where you left jacket, your wallet, and, incidentally, your innocence. Just go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL and forget about it with Hipster New Year w/Eddie Pepitone @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $17/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) THE BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is back for another round with none other than JACKIE KASHIAN and ANDY PETERS! Don’t miss out on some ass-kicking fun at Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) this Tues. ¼. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to HASAN MINHAJ-“Law School Application” In his bio on his website, there is a line that reads “Today, Hasan enjoys writing biographies about himself in the third person.” Taking his observations about the world and himself throughout the country, Hasan is a comedic whirlwind that should be seen when you ever he’s going on stage. Such an occasion will happen on Mon. 1/3 at Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE and Tues. ¼ at Fresh Faces @ the Hollywood Laugh Factory 8PM $20/2 drink min. Here’s his website again along with his Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lenny Bruce All Alone (yes, I know I’ve posted this before, but if we’re taking this “brand new year” thing seriously, this is one of the first things I want anyone/everyone to watch in comedy.)

7) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. You can start off the year (if you believe in that sort of thing) as a good person (again, if you’re into that sort of thing) if you do so.

8) New Year’s Resolution jokes here we come, including the joke-within-itself of considering starting in comedy as an acceptable resolution.

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The 2010 Post Brunch Update

1) Many who report on comedy in some fashion like to make “best of” lists at the end of every year. As with every list, there’s always debate, so, in the comedic spirit, I’ll stir the pot even further with The Comedy Bureau’s very own “The Very Best of ‘Best of Comedy in 2010” List featuring the top year end comedy lists as decided by Bureau Director Jake Kroeger himself. It doesn’t get any more “postmodern” than this folks…

1. 10 Moments Comedians Made Us Think This Year-Splitsider
2. 10 Best Comedy Albums of 2010-Amazon.com
3. The 10 Must Have Stand Up Comedy DVDs from 2010-Punchline Magazine
4. 15 Funny People We Lost in 2010-Splitsider
5. Top 5 Funniest TV Comedies-Huffington Post-Matt Wilstein
6. 2010 Wasn’t So Shitty After All-Mike Bridenstine

2) WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF another Saturday. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that there’s some great laughs to be found on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start with The Not Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12, then go to Michael Rayner @ Flappers Burbank YooHoo Room 7:30PM/9:30PM $20, then Christopher Titus @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $60, or just go to San Francisco and do the 15th Annual Comedy Countdown @ Palace of Fine Arts 9:30PM $60-$114.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: FLAPPERS BURBANK BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Starts 5PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/Starts 5PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List ½-1/8. Thanks Wisepix.

5) With the popularity of Paul F Tompkins Live Tweeting during a major holiday with his #midnightmass2010, Paul has decided to do it yet again with New Year’s Day and The Twilight Zone Marathon on SyFy. Follow @pftompkins after Midnight PST to join in the after hours/New Year’s fun while you wait for the Rose Parade (because you were waiting to watch the Rose Parade, right?)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to the entire LOS ANGELES COMEDY COMMUNITY that give the entire Comedy Bureau Staff/me something to write about everyday and the inspiration/will to write/perform every night.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: George Carlin-Modern Man

8) Donate to The Comedy Bureau. Leave 2010 on a good note.

9) Last night, a comic asked to be heckled, just like 2010 did.

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The 2010 Post Brunch Update

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List ½-1/8. Thanks Wisepix.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: George Carlin-Modern Man

8) Donate to The Comedy Bureau. Leave 2010 on a good note.

9) Last night, a comic asked to be heckled, just like 2010 did.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/25/10

1) Unlike Judy Carter suggests in one of her bestselling books, dinner with a table full of comedians is not incredibly depressing. It’s actually the antithesis of the stereotype/notion. In fact, two tables of LA comics on a Christmas Eve in Chinatown will turn into a spirited competition of who can order first, who is having more fun, and whether to trade members of each table for another. As comedian Ed Salazar said to comedian Eli Olsberg, “Our table will be blogged about.” For the record, Ed’s table was the better table. Yes, I was sitting at “that” table. Either way, some people think we, comedians, are a depressing bunch, which has a basis in truth, but that’s not all of who we are. As obsessive, impulsive, and condescending distorted caricatures of actual people as we may come off, all of it is all in the goal of going on lit stage and getting laughs in a darkened room full of strangers. So on this Christmas morning, or whenever you happen to be reading this, appreciate comedians, not only as ones that inspire laughter when you need it the most, but also as hard-working real people that strive diligently at their craft through much personal sacrifice. Perhaps, give them a hug, if they deserve it and if they’re OK with their personal space. HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE COMEDY BUREAU/JAKE KROEGER TO ALL OF YOU IN THE LA COMEDY COMMUNITY AND JUST GOOD FOLKS THAT LIKE LAUGHING!!!

2) Just one more night without a COMEDY CRAWL as we all, in the LA comedy community, attempt to attain some sort of temporary normalcy.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? You WANT to do an open mic on Christmas Day? Try working on your material while opening gifts. Does that sound like a good idea? Of course, it doesn’t. That’s why you should just enjoy Christmas.

4) Yesterday, I wrote about James Adomian’s inspired performance that included a painfully hilarious story about opening for Joan Rivers. It’s definitely one of the better “road” stories I’ve heard and there’s actually visual proof of it RIGHT HERE.

5) Paul F. Tompkins was actually trending on Twitter both in Los Angeles and NYC last night.

All of this came about for his live tweeting during the Pope’s Midnight Mass, which, in thinking about it, IS the Christmas gift that Tompkins gives to us all. Follow @PFtompkins and read all tweets with #midnightmass2010.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to GOOD NEIGHBOR-“best videos contest 3” Making the thought of absurdity in of itself absurd, amazing sketch group Good Neighbor attacks your senses in the best, most enjoyable way possible at such a furious pace that it’s really unimaginable not to get a kick out of them. Featuring seasoned performers Nick Rutherford, Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney, and non-performer/filmmaker Dave McCary, Good Neighbor is a treat to watch and should not be missed. Check their website or back at the Comedy Bureau for details on their next performance.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Blackadder’s Christmas Carol Part 1 of 5 [on Youtube] (My favorite Christmas Special of all time)

8) Donate. It’s Christmas. Even if you don’t celebrate, it’s a pretty convenient time to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

9) Many people thank me for my personal dedication to this blog and to all of them, I heartily say, “You’re quite welcome.”. To anyone who doubts this fact, I am writing this at 2:43AM Christmas Morning.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/10/10

1) Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab is where you can see the artistry in comedy at work. As an all “character” live comedy show, all the performers commit wholeheartedly to a persona (hence the name of the show), which range anywhere from "Reverend Boone Turde"…

…to “Jason Nash’s Father-in-Law”…

to Johnny Pemberton as a Tea Party Conspiracy Theorist.

In short, Persona is spectacular in ridding itself of all the conventions of a normal live comedy show that has a very neat structure of a showcase of comics or sketches and making a journey out of the entire experience with performers “interrupting” the show and interacting with the audience. The audience is constantly drawn in with “out-of-the-box” costumes, voices, and are genuinely surprised by the end of any one of the fantastic performances as shown when Host Tony Sam, who also played a plethora of a hilarious characters, choked a puppet of himself. Last night’s audience at the Hollywood Improv Lab got to enjoy the immense talents of Davey Johnson, Johnny Pemberton, Fred Young, Chris Walsh, Jason Nash, and the amazing sounds of Ogre Mage and certainly got more than their $5 worth of entertainment. Persona! will be on every second Thursday of the month at the Hollywood Improv Lab promptly at 8:30PM. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

2) Just because tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is manageable doesn’t mean it’s one to ignore. It simply means that you can actually make it to more of the best live comedy shows in LA. Start off with Laughs Without Liquor @ Plummer Park 6PM/8PM $20, then go to Jackie Kashian @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15, then go to Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ The Palms 9:30PM $10, then end the night on a good note with Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/Contact David Marley for sign up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/12-12/18. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Punchlist Magazine is currently having their Punchlist 2010 which anyone can vote for via Facebook. However, sifting through the nominees might be a bit difficult, so here’s a CHEAT SHEET (I apologize if I seem indecisive on a few of these). Best Stand Up Comedian on TV: Louis CK, Best Comedy Show on TV: Louie OR Modern Family, Best Musical Comedy Act: Garfunkel and Oates OR Reggie Watts, Best Sketch Group: Birds of Prey, Best New Podcast: The Morning After OR The Biggest Mistake, Best Comedy Website: ——–(just pick one as the Comedy Bureau is not on there), Best Tweeter: Eddie Pepitone OR Cornell Reid OR Jim Hamilton, Best Comedy Festival: Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Best Improv Troupes: (pick at your own discretion as I have not been to enough improv shows this year to make an informed decision)

6) The Hollywood Laugh Factory officially broke the record for longest running live comedy show with their Comicthon with an astounding running time of over 80 hours. Finishing around 10:30PM last night, the achievement was supported by the likes of everyone from Dave Chappelle to a fearless Maronzio Vance going up at 5AM. This tops the previous mark made by the Comic Strip in NYC, which I myself will try to top by having a non-stop live comedy show within my own head without admitting myself to a mental ward.

7) Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Bids right now are ranging anywhere from $120 to over a $1000, which immediately puts me out of the running with my “auction budget” of $5.34.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. "Oh, look–another staircase that goes nowhere.” Honored to have him ask me what the name for a labyrinth was and give him another “Tip of the Hat”, Kyle was just featured as one of Comedy Central’s Breakout Comics of 2010. Just don’t ever miss him performing live, especially since you’ll have plenty of opportunities to do so in the next week at French Toast @ Taix Sun. Dec. 12th 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House Mon. Dec. 13th 9PM FREE, Sweet and Sour Comedy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5, Blamblamblam @ R-Bar Tues Dec. 14th 9PM, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics Wed. Dec. 15th 8:30PM $8, and finally Elfin Funny @ The Echo Sat. Dec 18th 7PM $5. Kyle’s Website and Twitter; don’t forget about’em (even though they’re pretty much the same)

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: The Lads-Mike O’Connell and Matt Dwyer, Et Al.

10) If I tweeted more, would I get more donations. It’s a two birds with one stone type of a thing or just a convenient just to say it in one sentence.

11) For those of you waiting for me to be more negative, I have one word for you: March.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/5/10

1) The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre is actually the first pure sketch show to be reviewed here at the Comedy Bureau and I’d be hard pressed to find a better one to start off with. Interestingly enough, as the consistently hilarious host Brody Stevens left the stage after warming up the packed-to-standing-room-only UCB Theatre, I realized that I had not seen a sketch-only comedy show in quite some time, which, after last night’s Midnight Show, is something I am hoping to correct if it all possible. The collection of furiously swift sketches had this great absurdity about them that, as the show progressed, made me drawn in even further as an audience member to where exactly they were headed. One of my favorite sketches of the night that illustrates this perfectly was a fake TV spot for a futon store where sensational Hal Rudnick started off yelling why you would need to buy futon with a voiceover saying, “Futon!” at the end of each sentence, but quickly devolved into Hal making increasingly disturbing suggestions of not going “missionary” on a “Futon!” as that will break her pelvic bone “Futon!” With a fantastic cast of Nic Wegener, Hal Rudnick, James Pumphrey, Stephanie Allynne, Jeff Sloniker, Curtis Rainsberry, and Cale Hartmann, the Midnight Show startles and jolts in the best way possible on a very late Saturday night/early Sunday morning with sketches and video clips with the deft producing of Michael Busch and Megan Reeves and the superb, discerning direction of Joe Wagner. The Midnight Show is on the first Saturday of every month at the UCB Theatre (5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA) at Midnight and only costs $5.

2) If you’re not watching Tangled this weekend, you should go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. However, if you are watching Tangled this weekend, you DEFINITELY need to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start off with Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10/$5 for under 12, then Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then French Toast: MC Mr. Napkins CD Release Party @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, and be glad that you didn’t support 3D.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HAHA CAFE 5010 N. Lankershim Blvd., N. Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6PM, PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STOP BEING A F’N SHUT IN AND GO SEE AMAZING WORLD OF ITS OWN THAT LA IS!!!! OK, if that didn’t work, you can watch Comedy Central’s Hot List at 10PM on Comedy Central featuring their top breakout comedians of this year which includes plenty of good folks featured regularly at the Comedy Bureau including Kyle Kinane, Reggie Watts, and Chelsea Peretti, that is, if you still insist on being a shut-in.

5) How about that? Merrill Davis in LA Weekly. That’s MERRILL DAVIS in LA WEEKLY! (Look, I typed it out twice so click the link and read it, OK?)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan I’ve been sexually harassing this woman and I’m worried because I don’t think she knows about it. #LayingItOnThin #TooSubtle” Forget about his Comedy Central Presents special, his frequent appearances on Chelsea Lately, and other spots on TV, Ryan is one of the sharpest writers I know throughout all of LA and just “crushes” audiences wherever he goes (got an applause break at my open mic) all in a very dapper suit. Here’s his website and please follow him on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Henny Youngman heckles Milton Berle 1966

8) “Reason #3,212 to DONATE the Comedy Bureau: (imagine you being hypnotized) Because you wanted to.” Just tweeted this right here.

9) People wonder why I’m so positive and upbeat in this blog for the majority of it. To those people, I say, “You should see my act sometime.”

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/4/10

1) ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS (part 1), the Comedy Bureau would like to educate the general public that heckling is not a behavior that is in ANY way acceptable no matter what your set of circumstances you happen to be coming from. It’s not a way to make the show more fun or as some “brilliant” people I’ve overheard say, “I’m helping them.” At a comedy show, as an audience member, you are meant to sit and keep quiet and listen OR if you’re not into what’s being said, have enough respect for the person on stage trying to perform their act in what is (surprise surprise people that don’t think so) one of the hardest art forms ever conceived. There is a discrepancy when the show is at a venue where the audience did not come for the show, but simply to hang out at a bar with their friends and are subsequently being “subjected” to comedy. Even in this case, you always have the option of not listening. With that all being said, if you are a person who came to see the show WITH THE INTENTION of heckling, you are UNDENIABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. In last night’s case, I had to deal with one of these “I am Heckler” types and realized that there’s a sadistic nature about the whole exchange. This person wants me to fail, to see me unravel as a performer, as if that is the way he will feel good about himself (sidenote: I don’t unravel. I deal with it and if you push me far enough, I’ll verbally rip you into enough shreds for confetti at New Year’s; ask Bobby Kern). As the show was at an “AA room”, I had reasoned that the guy felt like he earned the “privilege” to heckle as he was in AA and had as a common phrase among that crowd “been through a lot of shit”. Especially since the show was formatted to follow the AA meeting and we, the comedians, were not holding anyone “hostage”, I don’t care if you just came from a funeral; If you came to see the show, then simply don’t heckle. As comedians, whether we do this for a living or not, this is “work” for us and I will never go to the business where you are currently employed and say, “Did they warn you about us?” This concludes Part 1 of ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS.

2) Steve-O is still headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend for whatever reason. For those of you that like to retain brain cells/your soul, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers YooHoo 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8PM $25, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5/21 and over, The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only), then Tomorrow!!! w/Ron Lynch presents Crapshoot! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8, and finish the night with your fist raised in the air a la John Carlos for supporting comedy that actually comedy, then actually good.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ICE HOUSE OPEN AUDITIONS 24 N. Mentor Ave./Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd St. and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM./3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Good news for all decent people around the world that aren’t the aforementioned “I am Heckler” types: Matt Braunger along with Brent Forrester (writer/producer on The Office) has just gotten a pilot order from Comedy Central!!! Check out more details here and the Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on its progress in development.

5) The wonderful duo of Garfunkel and Oates are both amazing and delightful. However, I think they would be amazing, delightful, and life-changing if they performed in my living room. I can’t afford that, but maybe you can by auctioning for a private show from Garfunkel and Oates right here. This is life-changing because it’s Garfunkel and Oates in the privacy of your own home AND all proceeds go to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HAMILTON-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim Hamilton gets the distinction of being the first person to get a second “Tip of the Hat” and with all of the beyond clever one-liners he has, Jim definitely deserves it. You can see him perform live and for FREE at one of the best shows in town this Tuesday, Dec. 7th at Holy Fuck! in the Downtown Independent Theatre (251 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA) 9PM. I’ll probably say this several times throughout the course of the life of the Comedy Bureau: follow Jim Hamilton on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Bill Hicks’ Worst Gig Ever

8) If you missed the tweeting storm the Comedy Bureau had last night, check it out “open mic genius” quotes, etc. here and then donate because I drove from Long Beach to East LA to Fullerton to Garden Grove to Hollywood and back to Long Beach for comedy meaning all of you.

9) So in just over a month, 104 people like The Comedy Bureau on Facebook, 64 people follow The Comedy Bureau on Twitter, and 43 people follow us/really just me on Tumblr. Thanks everyone for reading and all the support because it’s only going to get better (especially if I make any money at this).

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/3/10

1) The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubtisch made me so incredibly glad that I didn’t drop $60 on watching Louis CK at the Gibson Amphitheatre last night. From top to bottom, The Josh and Josh Show transcends all stereotypes of the “comedy bar show” even though its located at the very posh Bar Lubitsch. Set perfectly in a back room that’s gorgeously decorated in an almost nostalgically vaudevillian, but very chic leaning sensibility, show producers/hosts/performers/entertainer extraordinaries Josh Haness and Joshua Weinstein make you forget that you’re one in the hippest bars in LA because they have the vibe of all those great warehouse parties that I never went to in college going on right from the start. The back room was packed to standing room only with people that WANTED to watch the show, which always makes for a great rapport between the comedians and the audience. Thus, I got that great feeling that all artists get when watching an exhibition within their own medium: I forgot that I was actively watching comedy and simply enjoyed listening to whatever was being said. Last night’s extremely lucky audience got to enjoy the immense talents of Margot Leitman, Jan Davidson, Marianne Sierk, Rick Shapiro, Mike O’Connell, Joshua Weinstein, and Matt Braunger all under the amazing umbrella of host Josh Haness. That’s seriously a line-up that we all should pay money for, but, another great aspect of the Josh and Josh Show is that it’s completely free. Also, there’s a dance party afterwards with enough good looking singles to go around for everyone. The Josh and Josh Show is definitely “Bureau Approved” and would be even more so if could come up with something to distinguish it as so. The Josh and Josh Show takes place every Thursday in Bar Lubtisch (7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA) at 8:30PM.

2) “It’s a good day for comedy”-What everyday should be. Make it so with a COMEDY CRAWL starting with YooHoo Friday @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (Stand-by only), then Comics and Comics @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Ho Ho HOliday Hilarity @ Lineage Performing Arts Center 8PM $15, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 8:30PM $5, then The Ghetto Bird Social Club @ Bridenstine’s Place 9PM FREE, then Say Something Funny Bitch Holiday Extravaganza and Charity Event @ Malo 9PM $10, then finish a fantastic night with Stood Up Friday Night!: TSA Patdowns @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY BAPTIST CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/Must work clean, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) ON THE AIR/OFF THE QT-Louis CK on the Tonight Show 11:35PM NBC.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/5-12/11. It’s all in the name. Thanks Wisepix.

6) Host of ‘Comics Unleashed’/Entertainment Studios Head Byron Allen just announced a brand new show up for debut “Who Wants to Date a Comedian?”, which, first off, seems like it should be called “How Most Comedians Get Their Material” or “Why Do Most Comedians Hate Themselves?”. Secondly, this feels like all those seasons of “Last Comic Standing” when contestants were put through embarrassing challenges like having to write jokes in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond then perform a few hours later. Does TV even know what “comedy” is anymore? More evidence for the side of “not a fucking clue” keeps piling up everyday.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to JOE WAGNER-“When a man and a woman love each other very much… they often fuck it all up.” I called Joe Wagner a legend once and he said I was insane, which is what I think a legend would say. Either way, Joe has been in the “industry” for a long time working alongside with the likes of Zach Galifianakis on “Late World with Zach”. Currently, he writes/performs/walks all around LA, dazzling folks with completely “being in the moment” (i.e. chasing a man off stage and getting an applause break while doing so). Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on Joe’s next show and/or stroke of genius.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Burr gives a Philly a talking too… Part One and Part Two.

9) I’ll be performing at an “AA room” tonight. That’s right comedy show after an AA meeting. Oddly enough, I’ve done this show before and bombed and, ironically, am going back to this AA room for redemption. Read all about on the Comedy Bureau’s Twitter and donate for all the driving involved as it seems going to Garden Grove is almost like going to Mars, that is, if Mars was comprised of industrial parks.

10) Literally tried to “out-depress” another comic and won, which brought them up, but reminded me that I still got drunk in the dark while listening to Gregorian Chants. Oh well… (I’m fine guys… really)

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/2/10

1) OPEN LETTER TO PERFORMERS AT OPEN MICS: I know that we are all somewhat selfish, mostly insecure artists begging for validation that due to being in LA usually means laughter/compliments/kudos instead of money. However, at an open mic, the expectation is to WORK OUT material, which means it’s OK if that “brilliant” ten minutes you have just written about your ethnicity doesn’t work. That material “not working” is part of building an act and you have to combine honesty with yourself and faith in your material to “make it work”. So, at an open mic, DON’T ASK THE AUDIENCE/JUST COMICS WHETHER WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS FUNNY OR NOT. Open mics are NOT workshops where talking and asking are permitted. Open mics are intended, though it can be hard to gauge due to the setting, to simulate performing in front of an audience without the pressure. If you really want to know if it was funny, ask yourself, “Did they laugh?” and you’ll have your answer (that’s part of being honest with yourself). Asking for validation not only tests the already short patience of everyone else waiting to go up, but also brings about an atmosphere where everyone feels like they can offer suggestions during other people’s sets, which subsequently ruins the opportunity to try material without a chance for an honest response at all. If it’s quiet during your set at an open mic, do not worry about it as, again, the expectation isn’t to be funny, but to work out your act. In conclusion, at an open mic, stay quiet, listen, and laugh if someone says something funny, then go up and just do your act. That’s it. Do this as much as possible because the comedy community here in LA will recognize and respect “hard work” and you will become better (if you strive to make improvements).

2) Yes, Louis CK is in town, but I can’t afford that so I’m going to a show that very well might be just as good that’s completely free. That’s why I make the COMEDY CRAWL every night to give all you good folks some options. Start off with Christina Davis CD recording @ Room 5 7:30PM $10, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then Comedy and Cocktails @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5, then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Red Zebra @ Crocker Club 8PM FREE, Running Your Mouth-The Game Show @ Hudson Guild Theatre 8PM FREE (call 323-960-5519) then Louis CK: Word @ The Gibson Amphitheatre 8:15PM $57.60, then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then Paul Scheer’s 2nd Annual Sexy Christmas Spectacular @ Largo 9PM $20, then How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont, Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFÉ ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s).

4) As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I’ve updated both the Greater LA Open Mic Map and The Greater LA Comedy Landscape with a “highlighted line” of everything that’s happening comedy wise tonight, which there’s plenty (i.e. the line is all over the place. Check all of this by clicking OPEN MIC RUN and COMEDY CRAWL at the appropriate links posted.

5) The Paul F. Tompkins DVD is finally HERE thanks to the great folks at AST Records! Well, not quite yet… “You Should Have Told Me” will officially drop on Dec. 14th, but will be available for pre-sale next week at AST Records. The Comedy Bureau will remind you plenty until then…

6) If you’re agoraphobic, too acclimatized to LA weather and can’t handle the cold, or just love watching TV, don’t miss Matt Braunger (mentioned several times here at The Comedy Bureau) tonight on Chelsea Lately 11PM on E! and Johnny Pemberton on MTV as the host of Megadrive at 11PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to NEIL HAMBURGER for his “tweeting storm” on the upcoming feature film Yogi Bear-“Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden "picnic baskets” to drug-addicted Oscar voters. #bestpicture/Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned in Poland since “Hitler’s Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also” was banned from theaters in 1967/Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake’s feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film/George W. Bush in “Decision Points”: “Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency”. #true/(CNN): “Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes”/(CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.“ Touring the entire U.S., Neil Hamburger takes his uniquely original brand of comedy that involves clearing his throat all throughout his act and often times holding several drinks while performing to wherever people will appreciate/hate him as he is heckled quite often (he released a record where he is severely heckled), which warrants comparisons to Andy Kaufman’s Tony Clifton. Neil has his own self-titled show in Los Angeles that’s currently on hiatus, but you can enjoy his website here and amazing Twitter here.

8) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon (in conjunction with yesterday’s post): Stand Up Comedy Boot Camp Trailer

9) I’m using Coinstar today to afford lunch. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau and read about the inspired material/comedic journey from this event on Twitter here.

10) Steve-O is headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend. I hate initialisms and think they limit expressivity in the English language, but, seriously WTF!?!?

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/1/10

1) The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre showed how beautiful the concept of a prank could really be. Whether telling stories that are acted out in dazzling fashion of “pranks” being pulled on them or having guest performers pull “pranks” on the entire audience or enacting “The Popcorn Trick”, one never gets a feeling of ill will towards Chris and David Walsh, but, instead, just simply has a spirited fun time. Without tipping off too much, The Walsh Brothers offered an absolutely superb variety of acts ranging from hilarious sketches featuring themselves James Patterson reading letters to Billionaires and their subsequent responses to the amazing Tony Sam as Electroface, an insecure pro-wrestler, to even an amazing part of the show just called ‘Personal Disco’. Though some of The Walsh Brothers act may seem incredibly goofy at the beginning, Chris and David maintain such a great balance of commitment/fearlessness throughout whatever they’re doing on stage that keeps the audience engaged to the end, which is actually quite genius. If you really want to see what I’m talking about, the Walsh Brothers Show takes places frequently at the UCB Theatre and the Walsh Brothers themselves perform all around LA, so check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on upcoming shows.

2) BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME OUT TO BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC LAST NIGHT!! IT WAS SO FANTASTIC WITH RYAN STOUT ACTUALLY COMING DOWN AND ACTUALLY GETTING AN APPLAUSE BREAK THAT IT NECESSITATES ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! DON’T MISS IT NEXT TUESDAY @ SEÑOR FISH, 422 E. 1ST ST. SIGN-UP 6:30PM/STARTS 7PM.

3) I know that already just eye-balling this tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you might feel intimidated, but I’m just going to go ahead and say DEAL WITH IT!!! All these shows are going to be a damn good time and should not be missed. Start off with Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater (awesome video promo) 8PM $5, then Frolic @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Maria Bamford’s Eagle Rock Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation, then You’ve Seen These Guys @ The Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, then Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min., then Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., then finish STRONG with the Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY: A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd st., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The lovely and talented Kate Micucci of Garfunkel and Oates just dropped her solo album Phone Home (don’t worry, Garfunkel and Oates are still together), which I highly suggest that you check out/buy/download/support/listen to when you really need to smile. You can do so right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVEY JOHNSON-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey Johnson is a whirlwind of comedy in LA that definitely needs to be seen live to really experience the full force of hilarity. Performing routinely with some of the best sketch groups in LA, which includes his own “The Doorknockers” with the also amazing Randy Liedtke featured weekly at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch”, Davey Johnson “rolls with it” in the best way possible. You can see Davey tonight in the aforementioned Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $5 and at The Second Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever @ The Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 16th 8PM $10. Also, you can follow Davey on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Doug Stanhope’s Comedy Death Camp

8) Donating blood leaves you sleepy and most likely unable to live tweet about it or subsequently laugh about it. Avoid this situation by donating and following the Comedy Bureau.

9) Sometimes I feel so close to getting somewhere in comedy, which always seems to be accompanied by the feeling of going completely broke.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/29/10

1) RIP Leslie Nielsen-Without Surf Ninjas, I don’t think I would have had a childhood.

2) You want a ‘Recession Special Sale’? Do you want a ‘Holiday Special Sale’? Well, forget both of those because probably the cheapest/best COMEDY CRAWL I’ve ever posted. So start saving with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House FREE, and feel like you’ve gotten your $5 dollars worth by ending the night with Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUGH FACTORY 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6:30PM/10-15 spots available, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts around 7PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles CA (on USC campus between Marks Hall, Marks Tower, and Trojan Residence Hall Dorms)/USC Student Sign-up 9PM/Non-USC Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central just released its list of the best breakout comedians of 2010 and Comedy Bureau favorites Kyle Kinane and Chelsea Peretti (Reggie Watts too, though he’s NYC) made the list. Congratulations to them as they will all be featured on Comedy Central this Friday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic PART 4 is TOMORROW NIGHT and we have RYAN STOUT coming down to perform as a very special guest. Yeah, that’s RYAN STOUT everyone. Plus a happy hour w/$2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, raffles a plenty, etc. Again, TOMORROW Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Señor Fish/422 E. 1st St. (Little Tokyo/near downtown).

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ANDY PETERS–

Hailing from Seattle, Andy now, luckily for us, Los Angeles his home and is a favorite all around the LA comedy circuit from the likes of the Hollywood Improv to the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. Absolutely “tearing it up” on stage with his fierce, irreverent style, one should never miss a chance to see Andy Peters perform. Your next chance will be tonight at Anthill Pub & Grille (C-215 Student Center, UCI, Irvine, CA ) 9PM FREE and at Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv Dec. 1st 10PM $14/2 item min. Also be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Play From Your Fucking Heart

7) So the Comedy Bureau will be at an open mic tonight, so THERE WILL BE LIVE TWEETING (oh, and it will be some fun as this open mic doesn’t have a host). I’ll be taking donations here. I mean, please give… here.

8) Getting ready for a show that takes place after an AA meeting this week. Somehow, I don’t think open mics help that much in this regard.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/28/10

1) Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge was a great old-fashioned time, though in the freshest-hippest way possible. In what can be arguably the “hipster” epicenter of LA in Silverlake, the woman behind Space Boners and quite funny comedienne Barbara Gray manages to make an “alternative comedy” leaning show that is very welcoming and inviting to all. Despite many people thinking of “alternative comedy” as pretentious inside jokes about jokes, the simplistic atmosphere of the Silverlake Lounge coupled with Barbara’s fancy, ornately red and white curtains, which nearly every performer cleverly commented on (Paul Jay: Welcome to my Quinceñera!), set a nice scene for some of LA’s best and most original comics to do what EVERY comedian strives for: entertain a group of people in a darkened room from a lit stage. The intimate, though packed, crowd got an early holiday treat with performances from Dan Borelli, Vance Sanders, Paul Cibis, Jamie Lee, Paul Jay, Andy Peters, Tony Sam, Host Josh Androsky, and Barbara Gray closing out the show with a BANG/musical number (featuring Josh Androsky and Zach Ames). Whether you’re looking for something innovative and new in going out to comedy shows or not, Space Boners is definitely something to consider as it is completely FREE and will give you an enjoyable glimpse into a “different” brand of comedy without it feeling forced on you. Space Boners takes places one Saturday a month @ Silverlake Lounge, 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake) 7PM FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) I’ve never been a big fan of parades, which is essentially just standing, pretending to have fun while other people ACTUALLY have fun on intricately decorated floats/cars/horses/etc. Instead, I would suggest a better time at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Laugh, Drink, Repeat @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, Skinny Sundays @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, and Hollywood Underground @ Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Today is the FINAL DAY for submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic has gotten another sequel and will be having PART 4 this Tuesday with all the same great conventions you’ve come to expect from the trilogy and as well as a special guest performance from the one and only RYAN STOUT. Tues. Nov. 30th. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo/near downtown). DON’T MISS THIS!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HEGARTY-“@jimhegarty ‘Either we break up or I murder you. So really it’s up to you when you think about it.’ #breakuplines” Jim performs is a regular on the LA comedy scene dishing out his great observations on family, Batman, and the Buffalo Bills in third world countries. There’s even more of this at his blog TallJim.com and at his Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Philips Once I was in San Francisco

8) The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS every night here and needs DONATIONS here and will tweet here about I do comedy that needs donations here and how repetition seemingly, for the time being, doesn’t work.

9) I have heard more TSA Pat Down humor than holiday humor over the last few days, which makes me think that comedians are tired of talking about their dysfunctional family holiday dinners and would like TSA pat downs to become a holiday tradition.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/27/10

1) I have to give credit once more to Shayne Michael and the energy he has put back into the iCandy open mic/K.A.S. Comedy Etc. Show. With being one of the longest running open mics in the LA area, iCandy/Coffee Haven has seen its share of highs and lows and with a new sound system and a revitalized format that keeps a good energy about the room (i.e. booked show, raffles, etc.), comics who go to iCandy can expect to actually work on their material, which is the purpose of an open mic.

2) What better way to get into the holiday spirit than going to a run of shows that include the words: milk, asssscat, boners, back room, and family. THUS, don’t miss tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Space Boners Gives Thanks! @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), then The Back Room @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10, and finish with Ron Lynch and Craig Anton host a Tomorrow! Family Thanksgiving @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUNDROMIC 1054 Vine St. Los Angeles, CA/Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St (in alley between 3rd and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) As it was brought to my attention, even though I knew I needed to get around to it, the “Bureau Approved” page is updated again with a section for shows and open mics. Also, the “Calendars” page got updated with Comedy Store Line-ups and link directly to the Largo Calendar. I might be running out of ways to make this easier for you guys… I’m just sayin’.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to PAUL DANKE “@pauldanke every black friday, I get up early, go to best buy, and when the doors open. I rob the shit out of people’s cars. #IPODSFOREVERYONE” When not chilling back in his jean jacket, Paul Danke absolutely rips it on stage. According to several sources, Danke closed out the Holy Fuck! One Year Anniversary like a hero, which is certainly no surprise to the Comedy Bureau. Going up all around town as well as his own fantastic show The Comedy Garage (run with Cornell Reid and Sean Green), Paul has definitely earned his praise for his stand-up as well as doing featured blogging for FunnyorDie.com. You can witness Paul Danke tomorrow at French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE or on his blog The Art of Coming Off Casual or his amazing Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Michael Keaton does Stand-up

7) Donate here. Live Tweeting here. Donate here. Live Tweeting here. (insert catchy jingle that’s so catchy you would actually do either or both of the two)

8) On the subject of handling hecklers: Why is there the type of heckler who interrupts your set and then applauds and congratulates you after you yell at him for 4 minutes ripping him to shreds as a person? There should be a new subcategory of psychological disorders in DSM IV that addresses this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/26/10

1) Forget Black Friday-Jimmy Pardo’s “Pardcast-a-Thon” kicks off 6PM TONIGHT for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

2) Seriously, forget Black Friday and all those relatives that you’re trying to buy cheap gifts to keep up appearances. Instead go on a COMEDY CRAWL that’s not even that long with Lettuce Entertain You (w/Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, Hot Toddy @ iO West 9:30PM (Del Close)/11:30PM (Main Stage) $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: UCB THEATRE 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/10 spots available, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 11/28-12/4. Yeah, it’s real. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Brendon Walsh was on Conan last night. I missed it because I have lost all concept of time and don’t have a DVR. Fortunately TeamCoco.com are good people and have his set right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JERRY BRANDT-@HateJerryBrandt- Awkward Thanksgiving phone conversation with my Dad is done…we can now go back to ignoring each other until Christmas. Over the last year, Jerry Brandt has made his indelible/bitter/funny mark on the “Long Beach Comedy Scene” as well as the rest of LA with his monthly show, “The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ The Puka Bar” and his weekly podcast “Drinking Buddies” with awesome co-host Chris Adams recorded at CSULB. Though his twitter handle is @HateJerryBrandt, he certainly only wants to hate himself in the most self-deprecating, hilarious way possible. Upcoming Shows include: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish 11/30 8PM FREE and Ultimate Laff Down @ Khoury’s 11/2 8:30PM/$7/$10 food-drink min. Be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lenny Bruce-All Alone.

8) The Comedy Bureau is a single man (in every sense of the term) and LIVE TWEETS as an entire agency HERE.

9) You’re saving SOOOOO much money today so you can donate to the Comedy Bureau, right? Please prove this statement true here.

10) Literally, driving home last night, the freeway was already clogged with traffic for Black Friday. I will, for the first time, feel like I’m having a better time than “real people” at an open mic.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/25/10

1) I know you guys need to get to your friends, families, and some damn fine turkey, so I’ll keep this short… well, all of that depends on whether you enjoy reading this blog or not, which, in the case of the “Comedy Blog Reader Masochist”, prompts me to ask, “Why do you exist?”. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!

2) I almost don’t want to call it a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight, but for the sake of branding, I’ll stick with it. Tonight’s Comedy Crawl consists of, meaning this is the only shows going on that I know about, 16 Headlining Comics @ The Original Room of the Comedy Store 9PM $15/2 drink min. AND Free Thanksgiving Dinner @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 1PM/3PM/5PM/7PM FREE (though I think the actual show might have $20 cover according to site). That’s it.

3) NO OPEN MIC RUN FOR TODAY: I don’t even hate myself that much to do an open mic on Thanksgiving and a third of my material is on suicide.

4) The mutli-talented Charlyne Yi finally has The Old Lumps’ (her fantastic band) album “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps” online. Yeah, you’ve seen her in Paper Heart or at her own one-of-a-kind show at the UCB Theatre, but check out her musical side, which is like all her artistic “sides”: a nostalgically rollicking good time that reminds you of the childhood that you might never had, but wish you did. Check “Getting Intimate with the Old Lumps" here.

5) Jimmy Pardo is definitely kicking off the Holiday Season right with his ”Pardcast-a-Thon“ going from 6PM tomorrow for 12 hours straight having all proceeds go to Smile Train benefiting extremely underprivileged children who need cleft palate surgery regain their smile as well as the ability to speak properly, eat, and lead a normal life (not that comedians really know what that’s like). There will be tons of big guests as well as Jimmy Pardo himself, so tune in for some laughs/charity here.

6) As it premiered yesterday, the ”Bureau Approved“ section of this blog serves as a convenient resource for the best of the best podcasts, webseries, sketches, blog posts, clips, performances, etc. of LA Comedy so you don’t have to search through any of these reports to do so. With that in mind, I’ll start tomorrow to feature items from the ”Bureau Approved“ that I did not have the privilege to witness the inception of in a new feature I’m going to call ”From the Depths of ‘You Should Have Been There’ Lagoon“ or for you initialism-inclined FDYSHBTL. Hopefully, with this, we’ll never forget… (what’s funny that is)

7) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane Where can I get some giant bows for all these Lexuses I’m giving out for Christmas? I’ll look like a real asshole if I don’t wrap them.” Having already been to the Just For Laughs Comedy Fest in Montreal this year and opening for Patton Oswalt, Kyle’s been hitting the road taking his ingenious and hilarious musings on life as a “simple creature” from here in LA all the way to Winnipeg as everyone is finally starting to appreciate how damn funny he is. You can see Kyle next week at Comedy Death Ray @ The UCB Theatre Tues. Nov. 30th 8:30PM $5 or at Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Dec. 4th $5 or on Comedy Central because, yeah, he has a ‘Comedy Central Presents’ special too. Here’s his blog, “Shooting for Third”, and a link to his Twitter here.

8) For “Tip of the Hat”, I literally comb through everyone I follow on twitter, facebook, and tumblr, making it quite a tedious process. However, if you’d like to make it a little easier on me/draw my attention for “Tip of the Hat” consideration, e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with ’for your consideration tip of the hat’ in the subject line.

9) OK, I know this is running a little long, so I’ll cut it short here. I/The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS here, so, for that reason and many others, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau/me here.

10) THIS IS OFFICIALLY A MONTH THAT I’VE BEEN BLOGGING EVERY SINGLE DAY and I haven’t been to therapy yet (on top of doing stand up every night/trying to make money freelancing during the increasingly small time I have day). There should be an award for this.

Report 00034

THE COMEDY BUREAU

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