west hollywood – Page 6 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 3/5/11

1) One of my absolute favorite shows in town, The Super Serious Show, now has a youtube account so now ALL OF YOU can see just how damn fantastic it is. Check it here.

2) Comedian Neil Hamburger now has a rubber cartoon face available for purchase for all those times that you need a reminder of war can successfully be waged via Twitter against celebrities.

3) I’m not a big fan of reality TV and even a less of a fan of the monstrous “American Idol”, but when comedian Paul F. Tompkins recaps an episode of it, it’s actually entertaining to the point where I don’t feel that I’m dumbing myself down to enjoy myself.

4) One liner extraordinaire Jim Hamilton, according to him, will be on TV very soon. Details to follow as the Comedy Bureau gets them… from Jim himself (just follow @jim_hamilton like we do)

5) Three Minutes to Nothing-Why Comedy Contests are Largely a Waste of Everyone’s Time by the Comedy Bureau

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 11:30AM $10/2 item min.
North Star Comedy Hour @ Michael Woolson Studio 8PM
The Anytime Show w/Dominic Dierkes @ Smodcastle 8PM $8
Magic Bag @ Smodcastle 8PM $8
Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5
The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8:30PM $25/sold-out, but tickets probably available at door
Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only)
The Tomorrow Show @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8

7) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/people usually give feedback at end of set
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-Up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) Getting a business card from a girl because you’re “just that sad” still counts as getting a number, right?

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Morning Debriefing 3/3/11

1) The closest you’ll see Doug Stanhope to Los Angeles for a while is tonight at the San Jose Improv 8PM $25/2 item min. and this Saturday Mar. 5th at Velvet Jones in Santa Barbara 7PM $20. That is as close as he’s going to get.

2) The Scoomie Awards-an award show recognizing distinction in open mic comedians in LA is coming up soon and is taking suggestions for categories. Here are some of the best suggested categories so far–take note Comedy Awards. (Listed in alphabetical order by first name)

-The “I’m an F-18, Bro” Award for Overconfidence
Andrew N. Solmssen

-Best Post Show Karaoke Performance
Andy Peters

-Most Likely to Die Before the Scoomies
Dave Ross

-The Award for Slightly More Honest Than I’d Care For, Conversely Best Fictional Stage Life
-Best Reworking of Mitch Hedberg’s Persona
James Bruce

-The Robert Yasumura Up-and-Comer Award and Scholarship
Jeff Wattenhofer

-The “Getting the Light Means 5 More Minutes, Right?” Award
Jim Hegarty

-Most Likely to Have Killed at Flappers Prior to Attending Open Mic/Show Currently Bombing At
Joseph Larkin

-Kutest Komedy Kouple
Josh Androsky

-Best Potential Mug Shot
Julia Bensfield

-Most Likely to Sign Up But Leave Before It’s Their Turn….Award…..Good luck trying to get an acceptance speech
Marianne Sierk

-The Heavy Meta Award
-Obscure Referenciest
-The TMI Award
Matt Manser

-“Female Comic Under the Sway of Domineering, Abusive Ike Turner-like Impresario"
Moses Robinson

-Most-sogynist
-The "When the hell did YOU get funny??” Award
Paul Jay

-The “Wait–This Person Doesn’t Look Damaged at ALL, So Why is He/She Up There? Oh, Oh Wait. Oof. Nooow It Becomes Plain. This Person Makes Me Look Like the Picture of Mental Health. This is PAINful to Watch.” Award
-The “PLEASE Shut Up About How Much Porn You Watch And Pot You Smoke You Horny Perverted Runt Troll; We Guessed Already By Looking At You” Award
Robert Buscemi

-The Saddest Bear in The Forest of Depression Award
-The Goes to More Open Mics in a Week than You Do in a Month Award
-The Most Likely To Stop Doing Standup and Start Doing Improv Award
-The Dryhumps you when Drunk Award
-Lifetime Achivement
Ron Babcock

-The “My Cat Is My Stage Time at Home” Award
Shawn Carlow

-Most Likely to Thrive at Homelessness
Vanessa Ramos

3) Jen Kirkman’s new album “Hail to the Freaks” is coming soon. More details to come as soon as the Comedy Bureau receives them. Stay tuned.

4) DO NOT MISS THE PREMIERE OF MASH-UP ON COMEDY CENTRAL FRI. MAR. 11th AT MIDNIGHT W/TJ MILLER, MATT BRAUNGER, KYLE KINANE, KUMAIL NANJIANI, and HANNIBAL BURESS. YEAH, IT’S IN ALL CAPS. IT’S THAT IMPORTANT.

5) ON THE HORIZON
Jim Bruce’s Mustache @ The Gardenia Wed. Mar. 9th 8:30PM $5
One-Two Punch @ Benton Manor Sat. Mar. 12th 8PM $2 suggested donation (for chairs)
The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre Mar. 26th MIDNIGHT $5

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Meat Art Show @ Meltdown Comics 7PM
Continuous Comedy @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 8PM $20/$30 VIP/2 item min.
Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
Piñata @ Bang Studio 8PM $14
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $15
How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Live!* at Carnegie Hall @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE

7) OPEN MIC RUN
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM
THE SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed
TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM

8) Anyone know how to put actual code for ads on Tumblr? It would be pretty great if this was my job and I’d keep everyone even MORE updated on everything LA comedy, wouldn’t it? Please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you have tips/suggestions/help/etc.

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Morning Debriefing 2/27/11

1) 10 Comedians You Need to See This Year [via Crave Online/Sax Carr]. Say what you want about who is and isn’t on this list, but enjoyed reading this versus Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch a few months ago.

2) New Open Mic Tomorrow: D’amore’s-Monday, February 28th. D’Amore’s Pizza. 8369 W. 3rd St. Between Sweetzer and Orlando. Sign-up is 8:00pm – 8:15pm, lottery shortly thereafter. Purchase required. They’re gonna do a special. 2 slices for $3 dollars! See you there! Hosted by Jason Helfgott.

3) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Ro Delle Grazie. Heather Thomson. New Tequilas at the bar? You betcha (subject to change). Señor Fish, 422. E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. This Tues. Mar. 1st.

4) Apparently, there is a “comedy scene” of sorts in Claremont. Investigation by the Comedy Bureau to come soon.

5) #Oscars and probably #banksy on Twitter will be watched by the Comedy Bureau on Twitter tonight. Rest assured, you will be entertained.

6) ON THE HORIZON
What’s Up Tiger Lily? Presents ON THE PULSE Showcase @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill Mon. Feb. 28th 8PM FREE
Merrill Davis and Friends @ Hollywood Improv Lab Sat. Mar. 26th 10:30PM $5
Pizza Party @ Puka Bar Thurs. Mar. 31st 9PM FREE

7) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Powerviolence @ The Complex 8:30PM FREE
Top Story Weekly! @ iO West 9PM $5
Smug Shift @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Sunday Sunday Sunday-Oscars Schmoscars @ The Improv Space 9:30PM FREE
Deskpiece Nation @ iO West 10PM $5

8) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

9) Much thanks to Matt Knudsen for his donation to the Comedy Bureau. I’ll be able to eat today.

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Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

1) It’s simply not enough to say that Frolic @ Far Bar is just a great show with a fantastic line-up of comics (which it is). With live comedy, running over 90 minutes, in my opinion, one enters extremely tricky territory as the audience tires, settles their check, and checks any pertinent e-mail/texts. Yet producer/comic Josh Rencher

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

Brent Weinbach,

Zach Sherwin,

Kyle Kinane,

Melissa Villaseñor,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Forget about the N word being taken out of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn and how he must be rolling in his grave LAUGHING and saying, “I told you so!” Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL instead. Persona @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/free for comics, The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, Fifty First Jokes @ Zephyr Theatre 9:30PM $7 (stand-by only), How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE OPEN MIC 1061 S. La Brea, Ingelwood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Next Tues. Jan. 11th. Louis CK will be dropping his upcoming album “Hilarious”. You should go buy it. I don’t think I can make this anymore matter-of-fact than the last two sentences except for this next one. Just go and buy it.

5) If you suffer from not having enough Marc Maron in your smartphone like I do, there is now a WTF Podcast w/Marc Maron app available for the iPhone, iPod, and iPad that you can stream multitudes of episodes off of or even be able to call the show when it’s taping. It’s Marc Maron for only $0.99. You can’t really turn that down. Really.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAN DOMINGUEZ-“@dandomingueznow And, Lo a pale rider, on a skeletal horse, and Hell followed with him, and behind Hell: Incredible savings! Over 30% off on all housewares!” Dan not only cheats the edges of absurdity with his comedy, but comprises one third of the force that is the Biggest Mistake Podcast (other 2/3 is Paul Jay and Jen Goldberg) and a major part of the “manly as f” site manosterone.com. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for show dates as you don’t want to miss whatever Dan is going to say next. Website. Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 12/30/10

1) Now for the start of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”, an ongoing series into the psyche of a comedian (me/The Comedy Bureau Director/@blitzkroeger) after a night of comedy in LA—SURE, there were plenty of great shows as “confirmed” by the wondrous updates via my facebook feed that I could have attended last night, but instead, I chose to throw myself back into the pit/den of lions of trying out new material. Over the last week and a half, I’ve tightened my “holidays” material to the point of ad nauseam and decided to get back to work on deconstructing the norms and mores of dating in our times that mostly involves me getting “I’ll be right back” and “You’re too nice.” “You’re such a great guy” is another really popular one. In this spirit, I wrote out a brand new 7 minutes revolving around that topic. Actually, “grossly spat out whilst reading Twitter” would be a more accurate description of what was created. At the open mic, I nearly forgot half of it, remembering mostly just the punchlines and hardly any of the set-ups, transitions, intros, premises, etc. and it was met with the long bouts of silence and false sympathy from the “green” comic in the room who still doesn’t shut up during people’s sets that it deserved. In short, my set was mostly garbage and yet, I felt like it was needed. In being a comedian, as much as I strive to smash the place when I go up, I sincerely believe that a “humbling” set is needed every once in a while to let you know that you’re human and not comedy incarnate (For the record: I have NEVER thought I was comedy incarnate). Still, as honest you have to be with yourself when being an artist developing his or her art, you also have to lift yourself up and try to take something, anything from any performance, which, in this case, was about 5 or 6 lines that worked and actually got laughs the way I wanted despite me rambling them out of my mouth in an almost incoherent, depression-ridden fashion. Tune in next time at the Comedy Bureau to see where those 5 or 6 lines actually go…. or if I just lose it altogether.

2) I don’t have a New Year’s Resolution because it’s just another week on the calendar, just like tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is another damn fine night of laughter. Start with The 2010 It Sucked Awards @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only), then go to T’was the Night Before New Year’s Eve @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then go to This Comedy Show @ the Jon Lovitz Club 8PM $20/2 drink min./$3 valet parking special, and finish with The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Greater LA Open Mic Map will be very soon updated with whole new round of open mics for the new year for everyone to try their new year’s resolution material at. Check back at the Comedy Bureau very soon for updates.

5) Though this might sound traitorous, especially since the Comedy Bureau is LA based, if you have New Year’s Eve plans to see a comedy show, LEAVE LA!!! The best New Year’s Eve comedy event will actually be taking place in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts. The 15th Annual Comedy Countdown Dec. 31st 9:30PM will feature the likes of Laurie Kilmartin, Nick Thune, Charlyne Yi, Christina Pazitsky, the Sklar Brothers, and many more. Tickets range from $60 to $114, which is why I’m completely fine with going to a party and donating a few bucks for a keg back here in LA.

6) thecomedystore replied to your post: Morning Debriefing 12/29/10-Y U no Love? Two quick answers: 1) In doing the Comedy Bureau, I’m also a comic whose slowly, but surely growing incapable of the act of love. 2) I hate when people write like preschoolers attempting to draw and color. MORE TO COME SOON. VERY SOON.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WILL WELDON: “@oldmanweldon To raise awareness about violence against women I tell every guy in Ed Hardy that they probably hit women.” Hailing from Canada, Will has brought has sharpened observations to LA where have they been welcomed certainly by the Comedy Bureau and many others in LA comedy circles. Hopefully, we can make those circles aware of Will’s hilarity increase in size and/or number. All of you good folks reading this can actually see Will at What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill Mon. Jan 3rd, 8PM FREE and Fifty First Jokes @ The Zephyr Theater Thurs. Jan. 6th 9PM $7. Also, don’t miss his website, Twitter, or blog.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Banned Set on Letterman

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau… Tron made enough money, OK? Spread the wealth.

10) The rain has stoppped…. The skies are clear…. You can even see the mountains in the distance that you never knew existed… AND I STILL CAN’T GET THAT NEW 7 MINUTES ON HOMEWRECKING TO WORK!!!

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Morning Debriefing 12/30/10

1) Now for the start of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”, an ongoing series into the psyche of a comedian (me/The Comedy Bureau Director/@blitzkroeger) after a night of comedy in LA—SURE, there were plenty of great shows as “confirmed” by the wondrous updates via my facebook feed that I could have attended last night, but instead, I chose to throw myself back into the pit/den of lions of trying out new material. Over the last week and a half, I’ve tightened my “holidays” material to the point of ad nauseam and decided to get back to work on deconstructing the norms and mores of dating in our times that mostly involves me getting “I’ll be right back” and “You’re too nice.” "You’re such a great guy" is another really popular one. In this spirit, I wrote out a brand new 7 minutes revolving around that topic. Actually, “grossly spat out whilst reading Twitter” would be a more accurate description of what was created. At the open mic, I nearly forgot half of it, remembering mostly just the punchlines and hardly any of the set-ups, transitions, intros, premises, etc. and it was met with the long bouts of silence and false sympathy from the “green” comic in the room who still doesn’t shut up during people’s sets that it deserved. In short, my set was mostly garbage and yet, I felt like it was needed. In being a comedian, as much as I strive to smash the place when I go up, I sincerely believe that a “humbling” set is needed every once in a while to let you know that you’re human and not comedy incarnate (For the record: I have NEVER thought I was comedy incarnate). Still, as honest you have to be with yourself when being an artist developing his or her art, you also have to lift yourself up and try to take something, anything from any performance, which, in this case, was about 5 or 6 lines that worked and actually got laughs the way I wanted despite me rambling them out of my mouth in an almost incoherent, depression-ridden fashion. Tune in next time at the Comedy Bureau to see where those 5 or 6 lines actually go…. or if I just lose it altogether.

6) thecomedystore replied to your post: Morning Debriefing 12/29/10-Y U no Love? Two quick answers: 1) In doing the Comedy Bureau, I’m also a comic whose slowly, but surely growing incapable of the act of love. 2) I hate when people write like preschooler’s attempt to draw and color. MORE TO COME SOON. VERY SOON.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Banned Set on Letterman

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau… Tron made enough money, OK? Spread the wealth.

10) The rain has stoppped…. The skies are clear…. You can even see the mountains in the distance that you never knew existed… AND I STILL CAN’T THAT NEW 7 MINUTES

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Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

1) On the Eve of Christmas Eve, on a night that most people are merely waiting for the rise of Christmas Morning, one, James Adomian, brought on one of the best LA stand up comedy performances of the year at the Josh and Josh Show. I write this without any hesitation at all even though I have seen an average of four hours of live stand up virtually every night for the last several months. Before Adomian went on tour for the last few months, I had seen him do versions of his act at least 10 times or to the point where I could write his set list out for him, but even in knowing what was coming, Adomian transcended all of my expectations with his superb impressions and uncanny awareness as a performer on stage. Last night, at Bar Lubitsch, Adomian got the audience, me included, to a point that’s so rare, not just in comedy, but in all art forms, where the audience member/viewer/reader/listener/etc. actually forgets that they are actually voluntarily consuming a performance or a piece. For me, as a comic, I especially enjoyed seeing Adomian deal with these two girls who were erupting in laughter, then found one joke somewhat to their distaste, then instantly get them back on his side. In fact, they were personally praising James for a good 15 minutes after the show. From his observations on gay villains, Sam Elliot advertising Kombucha, to his own “show-biz” story opening for Joan Rivers, Adomian made the term “tour-de-force” seem inadequate in this attempt to describe his performance. As highly respected comedienne/Comedy Bureau favorite Lizzy Cooperman said, “We all have just witnessed something [that we’re privileged to be a part of].” As James Adomian is back in LA for the time being, please check back at the Comedy Bureau for his next performance.

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: "Yeah, I’m gonna go do an open mic on Christmas Eve. Gonna work on my five minutes for this Hollywood Showcase I’m gonna be in. It’s gonna be great. There’s going to be industry there, but, uhhh, do you want to go? I need to bring five people“-Person who wants to do an open mic on Christmas Eve/Escaped Mental Ward Patient. TO ALL YOU HARD WORKING COMICS OUT THERE, ENJOY YOURSELVES FOR A DAY OR TWO, WHY DON’T YOU?

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

5) WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND WANTS TO OPEN FOR PAULIE SHORE IN VEGAS? Anyone? If you are one of those people, Paulie Shore is holding an open online-submission contest to “warm-up” for his show “Vegas is My Oyster” in Vegas with the likes of Charlyne Yi, Bobby Lee, and himself at the Palms Casino. Contest ends Dec. 30th. More details and submissions here.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ADAM SHENKMAN-“Looking for a Wife-FIRST DATE-Episode #5” Adam Shenkman has drawn several comparisons to Andy Kaufman and deservingly so with his absolute, unwavering commitment to whatever he is doing both on and off stage. He’ll be continuing his “Looking for a Wife” series TONIGHT 9PM for FREE in Palm Springs at the Ace Hotel as part of his “Heebonism Christmas Eve Comedy Night”. Though he’s an act not to be missed, Shenkman with all his wild, unexpected antics is an act that’s really hard to miss as he runs a comedy variety show for kids called “The Breakfast Show”. Check at Adam’s website or back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

9) Last night, a girl said the following to me in conversation: Are you funny? I’m not getting funny from you. I was not aware that there was a “funny” detector available to the general public. If anyone knows of one, in, perhaps, a secret section of Brookstone/Skymall, please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with details. Also, if anyone knows of a handheld particle cannon that can vaporize an entire person with one shot, that would be helpful too.

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Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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Morning Debriefing 12/12/10

1) Last night, instead of performing/watching comedy, I was pretty much coerced into going into my mother’s Christmas work party at the Hilton Alhambra (one of the most Asian-centric parts of town) as a form of Christmas family time bonding, which is simultaneously a horrible situation I have no desire of being in AND a great source for material, especially considering the honest, personal approach I take to my act. Knowing that everyone’s process of developing material for performing comedy is drastically different, I’d like to offer a glimpse into my own personal process where I draw directly from personal experience. Listed below is a series of tweets I wrote throughout the duration of the party/death march of boredom/worst quiz I have ever sat through that will probably turn into 1-2 minutes of material (will keep you updated on progress). Perhaps, all of these random 140 characters or less thoughts will become nothing, but, either way, this is where my my comedy writing process starts…

-Surrounded by first generation Asians in the patient care industry. Already feeling uncomfortable. Step 1 complete.
-I don’t know why I checked Asian/Paciic Islander on any application. I don’t relate to any of these people. #jokesomewhere
-I have more in common with the “table 8” sign than all the Asian people here as it doesn’t tell me, “Go to grad school.”
-Currently listening to lounge version of Girl From Impanema, which sounds like the original if it was dosed with Ambien.
-If someone asks if I do jokes about how I’m not an Asian doctor, I would consider them heckling me in conversation
-I’m uncomfortable with how Asian-centric this party is; I feel about as asian as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
-“Go ahead and speak Asian! I wasn’t going to talk to you anyway!” something I want to say at this party.
-Yelling “I’m not Asian for fuck sakes” is a bad idea. Christmas Techno music… a much worst idea.
-Christmas parties like this make me understand why cyanide for human consumption was discovered. #toodark? #dontcare
-Someone who can barely speak English is giving speech; needs translator who speaks “shut the hell up I’m hungry as fuck”
-Knowing how to use chopsticks is about as Asian as I get. #igrewupinamerica #damnit #usausausa
-Phone was nearly dead and thus kept me from sharing my hate of this stupid party with the world.
-in a quiz for a prize in which the answer to why did Scrooge change his mind was because he cared about people #bullshit
-My answer to scrooge’s change of heart: fear of the proletariat rise #yeahimpretentious #ihatethisparty
-In a room full of Asians, the answer to How many planets are there in our solar system was somehow 9. #falsestereotypes
-“Tokyo is the most populated city, bitch and that motherfucker doesn’t deserve a TV.” Christmas brings out the best in us.
-Into hour 5 of this party and I just want to yell racial epithets so I can leave.
-Actual Riddle for TV: Harry died on land and people were happy, David dies on land and people were happier. Who are they?
-Answer to riddle in last tweet: they were typhoons. My answer: Go fuck yourself
-For big screen tv, we’re asked to pick out three distinct items in a picture of a bum and a volunteer. #whyamistillhere
-My next set of answers to this quiz are going to be shenanigans, gobbledygook , and complete and utter bullshit.
-It irks me to think why my Dad ever wonders why I appear to be angry on stage. #6hrparty

2) Going on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is a perfect alternative to going postal on people in the Grove parking structure because you want to show off this year at Christmas. Start off with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10, then Alonzo Bodden @ Brea Improv 7PM $17/2 item min., then Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 7:30PM $14/2 item min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then Please, Thank You, & You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, then The Comedy Crush Bad Sweater Holiday Show @ The Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min., then Sunday Sunday Sunday @ Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Comedy Bureau Calendars is finally updated in full!!! Every single club listed actually goes to there Calendars/Upcoming shows page. All of the minor inconvenience that remained on that list is now completely GONE offering you ease in searching for shows in LA unless clicking is a “big deal” for you.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian I said to him, "so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” After heckling Sam Kinison many years ago, Jackie has never looked back in her vast and successful journey as a comedienne. Touring throughout the world and having been on TV several times, she shares her uproariously funny anecdotes about her dad, her husband, and herself. Thus, do not miss Jackie’s hilarious podcast Dorkforest or her website, blog, or Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Jon Stewart Stand Up (1996)

7) If you read the Twitter feed excerpt from above, I think you’ll agree with me in wanting to donate to the Comedy Bureau. Do so right here.

8) As I stride further and further into comedy, I seem to know less and less “real” people. The “jury” is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing. The Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on my/its sanity.

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Post Brunch Update 12/10/10

1) Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab is where you can see the artistry in comedy at work. As an all “character” live comedy show, all the performers commit wholeheartedly to a persona (hence the name of the show), which range anywhere from "Reverend Boone Turde"…

…to “Jason Nash’s Father-in-Law”…

to Johnny Pemberton as a Tea Party Conspiracy Theorist.

In short, Persona is spectacular in ridding itself of all the conventions of a normal live comedy show that has a very neat structure of a showcase of comics or sketches and making a journey out of the entire experience with performers “interrupting” the show and interacting with the audience. The audience is constantly drawn in with “out-of-the-box” costumes, voices, and are genuinely surprised by the end of any one of the fantastic performances as shown when Host Tony Sam, who also played a plethora of a hilarious characters, choked a puppet of himself. Last night’s audience at the Hollywood Improv Lab got to enjoy the immense talents of Davey Johnson, Johnny Pemberton, Fred Young, Chris Walsh, Jason Nash, and the amazing sounds of Ogre Mage and certainly got more than their $5 worth of entertainment. Persona! will be on every second Thursday of the month at the Hollywood Improv Lab promptly at 8:30PM. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

2) Just because tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is manageable doesn’t mean it’s one to ignore. It simply means that you can actually make it to more of the best live comedy shows in LA. Start off with Laughs Without Liquor @ Plummer Park 6PM/8PM $20, then go to Jackie Kashian @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15, then go to Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ The Palms 9:30PM $10, then end the night on a good note with Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/Contact David Marley for sign up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/12-12/18. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Punchlist Magazine is currently having their Punchlist 2010 which anyone can vote for via Facebook. However, sifting through the nominees might be a bit difficult, so here’s a CHEAT SHEET (I apologize if I seem indecisive on a few of these). Best Stand Up Comedian on TV: Louis CK, Best Comedy Show on TV: Louie OR Modern Family, Best Musical Comedy Act: Garfunkel and Oates OR Reggie Watts, Best Sketch Group: Birds of Prey, Best New Podcast: The Morning After OR The Biggest Mistake, Best Comedy Website: ——–(just pick one as the Comedy Bureau is not on there), Best Tweeter: Eddie Pepitone OR Cornell Reid OR Jim Hamilton, Best Comedy Festival: Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Best Improv Troupes: (pick at your own discretion as I have not been to enough improv shows this year to make an informed decision)

6) The Hollywood Laugh Factory officially broke the record for longest running live comedy show with their Comicthon with an astounding running time of over 80 hours. Finishing around 10:30PM last night, the achievement was supported by the likes of everyone from Dave Chappelle to a fearless Maronzio Vance going up at 5AM. This tops the previous mark made by the Comic Strip in NYC, which I myself will try to top by having a non-stop live comedy show within my own head without admitting myself to a mental ward.

7) Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Bids right now are ranging anywhere from $120 to over a $1000, which immediately puts me out of the running with my “auction budget” of $5.34.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. "Oh, look–another staircase that goes nowhere.” Honored to have him ask me what the name for a labyrinth was and give him another “Tip of the Hat”, Kyle was just featured as one of Comedy Central’s Breakout Comics of 2010. Just don’t ever miss him performing live, especially since you’ll have plenty of opportunities to do so in the next week at French Toast @ Taix Sun. Dec. 12th 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House Mon. Dec. 13th 9PM FREE, Sweet and Sour Comedy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5, Blamblamblam @ R-Bar Tues Dec. 14th 9PM, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics Wed. Dec. 15th 8:30PM $8, and finally Elfin Funny @ The Echo Sat. Dec 18th 7PM $5. Kyle’s Website and Twitter; don’t forget about’em (even though they’re pretty much the same)

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: The Lads-Mike O’Connell and Matt Dwyer, Et Al.

10) If I tweeted more, would I get more donations. It’s a two birds with one stone type of a thing or just a convenient just to say it in one sentence.

11) For those of you waiting for me to be more negative, I have one word for you: March.

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Morning Debriefing 12/7/10

1) Yesterday, as I said, I went did the Marty’s Marathon, meaning I went up at the same open mic from 5PM to 11PM. Instead of reviewing the whole experience, I’m going to just list all the tweets I had through the duration of the open mic as a “stream of consciousness” primary document to impart what exactly what I went through:
“At Marty’s for comedy open mic march of death. #thisisgoingtobefun #convincinghashtag.”
“Audience/comics that may not listen of 3.”
“Host redoing opening joke”
“I love to hear homeless men fart.” #openmicgenius"
“Host running time by when he finishes his burger”
“People are looking at me while performing like I’m the only audience member because that’s kind of the case.”
“Finished first set at marty’s and I’m thinking already "I’m still here”
“There’s a crowd…. of five….. two of which are actually listening”
“Apparently, I’m not the first one to do Marty’s from 5pm to 11pm. DAMN IT!!!”
“To do material or to depress the shit out of people #openmichamlet”
“You know what happens when I play hard to get? I DON’T GET GOT!” #openmicgenius"
“Sad dick dead dick ad dick dead dick dead dick dead dick happy dick sad dick happy dick dead dick sad dick happy dick”
“People keep think I’m texting. If only they knew what I was really doing.”
“Got set number 2 in and got three awwwwws. #imstillhere”
“Almost 8pm and have not gotten up 3 times at Marty’s or had more than 3 "audience members”.
“Oh, and looks like I went with ”…to depress the shit out of people" #openmichamlet #reallythoughigotsomelaughs"
“I’m addicted to cleaning my ears… It’s ear sex.” #openmicgenius"
“3hr 38 min mark, still waiting to go up third time.”
“What do you want from me?!?!??!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??????????”
“Hour 4, still waiting for set number 3”
“3 people and the remnants of a person on stage left here at Marty’s”
“13 minutes for third set at marty’s for three people”
“10 min. conversation with host on stage in between comics.”
“In hour 5, still here with three other people”
“Just did 4 sets at Marty’s and it’s 11. FUCK.”
“6 hours for 35 min. of stage time, though still feel empty. #maybethatsjustme”

2) While waiting to see how long the Laugh Factory Comicthon will last or the judgment on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange you should probably go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’ll be better for your life in general. Start off with Sataristas Live @ Actor’s Gang 7PM Pay-what-you-can, then Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge @ Red Rock 8PM FREE, then This is Not Happening Presents: This Year in Review @ Hollywood Improv Lab $5/2 drink min., then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, then Three’s Comedy 5 Year Anniversary @ Three of Clubs 9PM FREE, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5, then finish with Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, then BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! ABBEY LONDER!!! $2 FISH TACOS!!! SURPRISE RAFFLES!!! $3 DOMESTIC/$4 IMPORTED BEER!!! Oh yeah, you can literally walk to Holy Fuck after this. (details above)

5) The Hollywood Laugh Factory has already set out to gain the world record of longest running continuous live comedy show, which is apparently 50 hours, with COMICTHON while simultaneously accepting toy donations for the Children’s Hospital and will run for a few days this week. It has been advertised that Dave Chappelle will go up at some point, but there’s no indication as to when he will perform or when Dane Cook will go up. Check 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA at your own pleasure/peril.

6) “Special Case Mention” from friend of the Comedy Bureau’s Hasan Minhaj-If you’ve ever considered doing standup comedy understand that you’ll have to be able to follow this. This is real: http://yfrog.us/nfnu8z

7) Maria Bamford has already played one living room earlier this year. Make the next living room she plays YOURS!!! Auction for a private performance from Maria Bamford here. All proceeds go the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN-“@lizzycooperman "Peaks and valleys, man. It’s all about peaks and valleys.” – a depressed person summing up life, or the book “Let’s Go Afghanistan”. Yet another repeat “Tip of the Hat” winner, Lizzy is quite simply a privilege to watch with her furiously smart and swift jokes and should never be missed. Don’t miss Lizzy tomorrow at Riot @ El Cid $10 4212 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA, The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA, and with her fabulous sketch group Birds of Prey at Please, Thank You, You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8:30PM. Also, be sure to check out Lizzy’s website and absolutely follow her on Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: “Hello There” A film by Louis CK

10) Forget about whether it ‘tis the season or not… The Comedy Bureau needs your support. Please donate here, if you are willing and able/decent person.

11) RT @Kabelion Based on comedy centrals 10 best comics of 2010, this year was the weakest year in comedy since Gallagher 1 was the biggest thing going.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/4/10

1) ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS (part 1), the Comedy Bureau would like to educate the general public that heckling is not a behavior that is in ANY way acceptable no matter what your set of circumstances you happen to be coming from. It’s not a way to make the show more fun or as some “brilliant” people I’ve overheard say, “I’m helping them.” At a comedy show, as an audience member, you are meant to sit and keep quiet and listen OR if you’re not into what’s being said, have enough respect for the person on stage trying to perform their act in what is (surprise surprise people that don’t think so) one of the hardest art forms ever conceived. There is a discrepancy when the show is at a venue where the audience did not come for the show, but simply to hang out at a bar with their friends and are subsequently being “subjected” to comedy. Even in this case, you always have the option of not listening. With that all being said, if you are a person who came to see the show WITH THE INTENTION of heckling, you are UNDENIABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. In last night’s case, I had to deal with one of these “I am Heckler” types and realized that there’s a sadistic nature about the whole exchange. This person wants me to fail, to see me unravel as a performer, as if that is the way he will feel good about himself (sidenote: I don’t unravel. I deal with it and if you push me far enough, I’ll verbally rip you into enough shreds for confetti at New Year’s; ask Bobby Kern). As the show was at an “AA room”, I had reasoned that the guy felt like he earned the “privilege” to heckle as he was in AA and had as a common phrase among that crowd “been through a lot of shit”. Especially since the show was formatted to follow the AA meeting and we, the comedians, were not holding anyone “hostage”, I don’t care if you just came from a funeral; If you came to see the show, then simply don’t heckle. As comedians, whether we do this for a living or not, this is “work” for us and I will never go to the business where you are currently employed and say, “Did they warn you about us?” This concludes Part 1 of ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS.

2) Steve-O is still headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend for whatever reason. For those of you that like to retain brain cells/your soul, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers YooHoo 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8PM $25, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5/21 and over, The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only), then Tomorrow!!! w/Ron Lynch presents Crapshoot! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8, and finish the night with your fist raised in the air a la John Carlos for supporting comedy that actually comedy, then actually good.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ICE HOUSE OPEN AUDITIONS 24 N. Mentor Ave./Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd St. and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM./3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Good news for all decent people around the world that aren’t the aforementioned “I am Heckler” types: Matt Braunger along with Brent Forrester (writer/producer on The Office) has just gotten a pilot order from Comedy Central!!! Check out more details here and the Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on its progress in development.

5) The wonderful duo of Garfunkel and Oates are both amazing and delightful. However, I think they would be amazing, delightful, and life-changing if they performed in my living room. I can’t afford that, but maybe you can by auctioning for a private show from Garfunkel and Oates right here. This is life-changing because it’s Garfunkel and Oates in the privacy of your own home AND all proceeds go to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HAMILTON-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim Hamilton gets the distinction of being the first person to get a second “Tip of the Hat” and with all of the beyond clever one-liners he has, Jim definitely deserves it. You can see him perform live and for FREE at one of the best shows in town this Tuesday, Dec. 7th at Holy Fuck! in the Downtown Independent Theatre (251 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA) 9PM. I’ll probably say this several times throughout the course of the life of the Comedy Bureau: follow Jim Hamilton on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Bill Hicks’ Worst Gig Ever

8) If you missed the tweeting storm the Comedy Bureau had last night, check it out “open mic genius” quotes, etc. here and then donate because I drove from Long Beach to East LA to Fullerton to Garden Grove to Hollywood and back to Long Beach for comedy meaning all of you.

9) So in just over a month, 104 people like The Comedy Bureau on Facebook, 64 people follow The Comedy Bureau on Twitter, and 43 people follow us/really just me on Tumblr. Thanks everyone for reading and all the support because it’s only going to get better (especially if I make any money at this).

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/2/10

1) OPEN LETTER TO PERFORMERS AT OPEN MICS: I know that we are all somewhat selfish, mostly insecure artists begging for validation that due to being in LA usually means laughter/compliments/kudos instead of money. However, at an open mic, the expectation is to WORK OUT material, which means it’s OK if that “brilliant” ten minutes you have just written about your ethnicity doesn’t work. That material “not working” is part of building an act and you have to combine honesty with yourself and faith in your material to “make it work”. So, at an open mic, DON’T ASK THE AUDIENCE/JUST COMICS WHETHER WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS FUNNY OR NOT. Open mics are NOT workshops where talking and asking are permitted. Open mics are intended, though it can be hard to gauge due to the setting, to simulate performing in front of an audience without the pressure. If you really want to know if it was funny, ask yourself, “Did they laugh?” and you’ll have your answer (that’s part of being honest with yourself). Asking for validation not only tests the already short patience of everyone else waiting to go up, but also brings about an atmosphere where everyone feels like they can offer suggestions during other people’s sets, which subsequently ruins the opportunity to try material without a chance for an honest response at all. If it’s quiet during your set at an open mic, do not worry about it as, again, the expectation isn’t to be funny, but to work out your act. In conclusion, at an open mic, stay quiet, listen, and laugh if someone says something funny, then go up and just do your act. That’s it. Do this as much as possible because the comedy community here in LA will recognize and respect “hard work” and you will become better (if you strive to make improvements).

2) Yes, Louis CK is in town, but I can’t afford that so I’m going to a show that very well might be just as good that’s completely free. That’s why I make the COMEDY CRAWL every night to give all you good folks some options. Start off with Christina Davis CD recording @ Room 5 7:30PM $10, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then Comedy and Cocktails @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5, then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Red Zebra @ Crocker Club 8PM FREE, Running Your Mouth-The Game Show @ Hudson Guild Theatre 8PM FREE (call 323-960-5519) then Louis CK: Word @ The Gibson Amphitheatre 8:15PM $57.60, then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then Paul Scheer’s 2nd Annual Sexy Christmas Spectacular @ Largo 9PM $20, then How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont, Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFÉ ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s).

4) As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I’ve updated both the Greater LA Open Mic Map and The Greater LA Comedy Landscape with a “highlighted line” of everything that’s happening comedy wise tonight, which there’s plenty (i.e. the line is all over the place. Check all of this by clicking OPEN MIC RUN and COMEDY CRAWL at the appropriate links posted.

5) The Paul F. Tompkins DVD is finally HERE thanks to the great folks at AST Records! Well, not quite yet… “You Should Have Told Me” will officially drop on Dec. 14th, but will be available for pre-sale next week at AST Records. The Comedy Bureau will remind you plenty until then…

6) If you’re agoraphobic, too acclimatized to LA weather and can’t handle the cold, or just love watching TV, don’t miss Matt Braunger (mentioned several times here at The Comedy Bureau) tonight on Chelsea Lately 11PM on E! and Johnny Pemberton on MTV as the host of Megadrive at 11PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to NEIL HAMBURGER for his “tweeting storm” on the upcoming feature film Yogi Bear-“Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden "picnic baskets” to drug-addicted Oscar voters. #bestpicture/Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned in Poland since “Hitler’s Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also” was banned from theaters in 1967/Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake’s feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film/George W. Bush in “Decision Points”: “Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency”. #true/(CNN): “Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes”/(CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.“ Touring the entire U.S., Neil Hamburger takes his uniquely original brand of comedy that involves clearing his throat all throughout his act and often times holding several drinks while performing to wherever people will appreciate/hate him as he is heckled quite often (he released a record where he is severely heckled), which warrants comparisons to Andy Kaufman’s Tony Clifton. Neil has his own self-titled show in Los Angeles that’s currently on hiatus, but you can enjoy his website here and amazing Twitter here.

8) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon (in conjunction with yesterday’s post): Stand Up Comedy Boot Camp Trailer

9) I’m using Coinstar today to afford lunch. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau and read about the inspired material/comedic journey from this event on Twitter here.

10) Steve-O is headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend. I hate initialisms and think they limit expressivity in the English language, but, seriously WTF!?!?

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/28/10

1) Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge was a great old-fashioned time, though in the freshest-hippest way possible. In what can be arguably the “hipster” epicenter of LA in Silverlake, the woman behind Space Boners and quite funny comedienne Barbara Gray manages to make an “alternative comedy” leaning show that is very welcoming and inviting to all. Despite many people thinking of “alternative comedy” as pretentious inside jokes about jokes, the simplistic atmosphere of the Silverlake Lounge coupled with Barbara’s fancy, ornately red and white curtains, which nearly every performer cleverly commented on (Paul Jay: Welcome to my Quinceñera!), set a nice scene for some of LA’s best and most original comics to do what EVERY comedian strives for: entertain a group of people in a darkened room from a lit stage. The intimate, though packed, crowd got an early holiday treat with performances from Dan Borelli, Vance Sanders, Paul Cibis, Jamie Lee, Paul Jay, Andy Peters, Tony Sam, Host Josh Androsky, and Barbara Gray closing out the show with a BANG/musical number (featuring Josh Androsky and Zach Ames). Whether you’re looking for something innovative and new in going out to comedy shows or not, Space Boners is definitely something to consider as it is completely FREE and will give you an enjoyable glimpse into a “different” brand of comedy without it feeling forced on you. Space Boners takes places one Saturday a month @ Silverlake Lounge, 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake) 7PM FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) I’ve never been a big fan of parades, which is essentially just standing, pretending to have fun while other people ACTUALLY have fun on intricately decorated floats/cars/horses/etc. Instead, I would suggest a better time at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Laugh, Drink, Repeat @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, Skinny Sundays @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, and Hollywood Underground @ Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Today is the FINAL DAY for submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic has gotten another sequel and will be having PART 4 this Tuesday with all the same great conventions you’ve come to expect from the trilogy and as well as a special guest performance from the one and only RYAN STOUT. Tues. Nov. 30th. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo/near downtown). DON’T MISS THIS!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HEGARTY-“@jimhegarty ‘Either we break up or I murder you. So really it’s up to you when you think about it.’ #breakuplines” Jim performs is a regular on the LA comedy scene dishing out his great observations on family, Batman, and the Buffalo Bills in third world countries. There’s even more of this at his blog TallJim.com and at his Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Philips Once I was in San Francisco

8) The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS every night here and needs DONATIONS here and will tweet here about I do comedy that needs donations here and how repetition seemingly, for the time being, doesn’t work.

9) I have heard more TSA Pat Down humor than holiday humor over the last few days, which makes me think that comedians are tired of talking about their dysfunctional family holiday dinners and would like TSA pat downs to become a holiday tradition.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/20/10

1) Comedy Car Hole @ The Comedy Car Hole has been going for more than 7 years and last night was proof of why. With a tightly run, showcase-style, 90 min. show, the 60+ people in attendance having a great time in the back porch in front of someone’s of garage should give anyone with enough drive, passion, talent, intermittent bits of insanity to build a show wherever they can build one. Doug O. Perkins and Ryan Wise actually make their garage as much of a real venue as they possibly can with comfy seating, a “VIP Lounge”, and a legitimate stage with a legitimate curtain and cleverly built Comedy Car Hole sign. Last night’s crowd, which stuck around even with a slight mist of rain in the air, got to enjoy the likes of Steve Benaquist, Kat Radley, and even Comedy Bureau favorites Lizzy Cooperman and The Walsh Brothers. The Comedy Car Hole is once a month literally in a garage near Santa Monica and is completely free. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) Trinity Open Mic @ Trinity Baptist Church in Santa Monica might sound like one “hell” of an intimidating open mic (OK, the pun was kind of intended). Actually, I have to admit that it was pretty great. All those elements that comedians hate about open mics such as people not listening/caring, the house lights being on or all the light beings completely off, etc. are almost non-existent here. Being in a church basement at 8PM, no one is really being held hostage for the show and thus, people want to listen to what you have to say. As it is a church, you do have to work squeaky clean, but most everything I heard music/comedy/spoken word wise was pretty “secular”. Also, there’s food for a small donation. Though, again, you have to work clean, I’d say this is another “bureau-approved” open mic. Trinity Open Mic is every 1st and 3rd Friday at 8PM in Trinity Baptist Church, 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA.

3) There’s actually a Harry Potter based show that, like it’s filmic inspiration, is sold out and has only stand-by available, but that shouldn’t stop you from some other great shows around town where you won’t have to talk about how you have never read the books and your possible lack of childhood, etc. (is that just me?) Anyways, tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL goes a little something like this: start off early with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand-by only), then go to Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then go to Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then Satuday Night Special @ Flappers-Burbank YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Talent Show @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand-by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Comedy Garage Thanksgiving CHARITY Bonanza! @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM-Party/Show 11PM FREE, then Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow presents the Time Machine Show @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd. and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave. (at Fuller)/6:30PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

5) Kyle Kinane is a comedic genius, another label the Comedy Bureau doesn’t use lightly, ON THE RISE who has been cast in sketches as a rapist and now most recently on Lopez Tonight, a racist stoner. Check it out here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to the one and only Barbara Gray. “@BabsGray Hey guys, what should I eat for lunch? Subway or the barrel of a shotgun?”. Recently, Lionsgate just went with ahead with her short script, and, up ahead, she’s hosting What’s Up Tiger Lily? this week and has her own wonderfully named show Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge coming up next Saturday 11/27. Follow her on twitter here or at her blog here.

7) From one garage with comedy to another…. Guess where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Well… First, at an open mic in a franchise coffee shop, then the Comedy Garage. Follow all the LIVE TWEETING here.

8) If I’ve already gone with the “jedi hand wave” to get you to donate to the Comedy Bureau, I’m invoking it again (imagine it happening right when you’re reading this), so you forget that I might have already done it once and THEN you’ll donate. Please give if you’re willing and able (jedi hand wave again) here.

9) Don’t judge comedy too quickly, unless it starts off “So I’m half…..”. That’s when I’m half on my way to doing something like this.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 11/11/10

1) Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics IS simply what people should expect out of a good comedy show. Packed house and a great line-up (free beer also helps). Unfortunately, a large segment of the population, not only in LA, but around the whole country have a different idea of what a live comedy show actually is. Hilarious comedienne Chelsea Peretti pointed it out so poignantly during the evening when she mentioned how she would rather be a fat guy and THEN the audience would understand that “comedy was happening” and shout, “WE GET IT! WE GET IT!” The stereotype of an overweight vulgar man making fun of audience members then hitting on their date when they go to the bathroom has been reinforced by far too many comedy clubs. Meltdown has the potential to prove this stereotype FALSE of live comedy as I sat right in front as part of a crowd of about 100 for the entire show and was not made fun of once AND had a fantastic time. Host Jonah Ray, after thanking people for not watching Gallagher at Club Nokia, let Meltdown rip with awesome performances from Ali Wong, Jerrod Carmichael, Randy Liedtke, Nick Kroll as force of nature Fabrice Fabrice, Seth Morris, Steve Agee, and Chelsea Peretti THEN Kumail Nanjiani apologized for not being there by texting a joke. Again, this is what people should expect from a live comedy show. Meltdown is every Wednesday 8:30PM $8 @ Meltdown Comics, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

2) The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ The Next Stage Theatre is the FUTURE of a live comedy show. Andre Hyland, as his absurdly fast-on-his-feet character Jesse Miller, hosts an off-air late night talk show that because of its brilliance, as sensational guest Joe Wagner commented, should be on TV. With completely dead-pan and completely hilarious musical sidekick Daryl and princess/straight-up girl/Jesse Miller Talk Show dancer Tanya, Jesse Miller takes absurdity in comedy to another level as he might seem like an unassuming yokel from Norwood, OH, but can rattle off quips, comebacks, and obscure Sonic Youth references with the best of them. Formatted with four amazing performers, a video of Jesse Miller (this edition included him in Cincinnati showing his Bengals Superbowl tattoo to people on game day), a heartfelt, bone-crushing song from Daryl, gut-busting interviews of all the guests, and an EATING CONTEST, there is no way you can beat entertainment like that for $5 on a late Tuesday night. “Straight-up hell yeah props” to Nicholas Rutherford, Melinda Hill, Joe Wagner, and Chris Fairbanks as last night’s line-up. The Jesse Miller Talk Show is on one Tuesday a month 11PM $5/one free beer @ The Next Stage Theatre, 1523 N. La Brea, Hollywood, CA (2nd Floor).

3) For all of you in the LA comedy community, the entire Comedy Bureau watched over 5 hours of live comedy yesterday.

4) For tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you need to discover instant cloning to not miss anyone of these shows. Seriously, get on it. Start off with Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Loft 8PM (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then send your clone to Wil Anderson w/Brent Weinbach @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item minimum, then “original you” go to The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then your clone should go to Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent 9PM FREE, then you go to Facepush @ Flappers-Burbank 9:30PM $10/2 item min. Make sure to kill your clone at the end of the night, mostly to prevent any bad reality show being made from your lives.

5) Brand spanking new Comedy Bureau feature, as promised, OPEN MIC RUN. For all you comics trying the impossible by getting up more than once in LA try this: Go to SANDWICH SPOT 7PM, 3101 Ocean Park Ave, Santa Monica, CA, TKO SHOW @ 212 Cafe 9PM, 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA, CAFE ON 2ND 7:30PM 7 S. 2nd St./$3 cover/10 min. at least., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 5PM-11PM, 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA $5 cover/free coffee & bottled water/go up as many times as you want. Just do it (and maybe get some laughs).

6) The Comedy Bureau will be live tweeting throughout tonight’s comedy odyssey. Follow here.

7) Announcing another new feature in the works: The Comedy Bureau will tip its proverbial hat, because we can’t afford a real one, to a single tweet a day from all the amazing LA based comedians it tracks on Twitter. Not only will they be retweeted, but they will be mentioned here and if its popular enough, maybe will have contest with a TBD prize.

8) The Comedy Bureau needs your support both in the way of hugs AND donations. Please donate here.

8) With Veteran’s Day here, please honor all the men and women serving our country and keeping us safe so we can stay out until 3AM talking about how we hate dick jokes/dick jokes.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

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