1) The closest you’ll see Doug Stanhope to Los Angeles for a while is tonight at the San Jose Improv 8PM $25/2 item min. and this Saturday Mar. 5th at Velvet Jones in Santa Barbara 7PM $20. That is as close as he’s going to get.
2) The Scoomie Awards-an award show recognizing distinction in open mic comedians in LA is coming up soon and is taking suggestions for categories. Here are some of the best suggested categories so far–take note Comedy Awards. (Listed in alphabetical order by first name)
-The “I’m an F-18, Bro” Award for Overconfidence
Andrew N. Solmssen
-Best Post Show Karaoke Performance
-Most Likely to Die Before the Scoomies
-The Award for Slightly More Honest Than I’d Care For, Conversely Best Fictional Stage Life
-Best Reworking of Mitch Hedberg’s Persona
-The Robert Yasumura Up-and-Comer Award and Scholarship
-The “Getting the Light Means 5 More Minutes, Right?” Award
-Most Likely to Have Killed at Flappers Prior to Attending Open Mic/Show Currently Bombing At
-Kutest Komedy Kouple
-Best Potential Mug Shot
-Most Likely to Sign Up But Leave Before It’s Their Turn….Award…..Good luck trying to get an acceptance speech
-The Heavy Meta Award
-The TMI Award
-“Female Comic Under the Sway of Domineering, Abusive Ike Turner-like Impresario"
-The "When the hell did YOU get funny??” Award
-The “Wait–This Person Doesn’t Look Damaged at ALL, So Why is He/She Up There? Oh, Oh Wait. Oof. Nooow It Becomes Plain. This Person Makes Me Look Like the Picture of Mental Health. This is PAINful to Watch.” Award
-The “PLEASE Shut Up About How Much Porn You Watch And Pot You Smoke You Horny Perverted Runt Troll; We Guessed Already By Looking At You” Award
-The Saddest Bear in The Forest of Depression Award
-The Goes to More Open Mics in a Week than You Do in a Month Award
-The Most Likely To Stop Doing Standup and Start Doing Improv Award
-The Dryhumps you when Drunk Award
-The “My Cat Is My Stage Time at Home” Award
-Most Likely to Thrive at Homelessness
3) Jen Kirkman’s new album “Hail to the Freaks” is coming soon. More details to come as soon as the Comedy Bureau receives them. Stay tuned.
4) DO NOT MISS THE PREMIERE OF MASH-UP ON COMEDY CENTRAL FRI. MAR. 11th AT MIDNIGHT W/TJ MILLER, MATT BRAUNGER, KYLE KINANE, KUMAIL NANJIANI, and HANNIBAL BURESS. YEAH, IT’S IN ALL CAPS. IT’S THAT IMPORTANT.
5) ON THE HORIZON
Jim Bruce’s Mustache @ The Gardenia Wed. Mar. 9th 8:30PM $5
One-Two Punch @ Benton Manor Sat. Mar. 12th 8PM $2 suggested donation (for chairs)
The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre Mar. 26th MIDNIGHT $5
6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Meat Art Show @ Meltdown Comics 7PM
Continuous Comedy @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 8PM $20/$30 VIP/2 item min.
Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
Piñata @ Bang Studio 8PM $14
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $15
How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Live!* at Carnegie Hall @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE
7) OPEN MIC RUN
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM
THE SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed
TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM
8) Anyone know how to put actual code for ads on Tumblr? It would be pretty great if this was my job and I’d keep everyone even MORE updated on everything LA comedy, wouldn’t it? Please e-mail email@example.com if you have tips/suggestions/help/etc.
THE COMEDY BUREAU/@thecomedybureau