big trouble in little tokyo – Page 2

Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

1) Why should you be reading the Comedy Bureau? Well… if you’ve ever read the mission statement, you can trust in the entire Comedy Bureau staff to keep you up to date on the best shows, open mics most worthy of your hard earned free time, all pertinent LA Comedy news big and small (all the way from Matt Braunger getting a pilot order from Comedy Central to when Paul F Tompkins is having a live tweeting event), and who really is on the trailblazing forefront of comedy in this town and what they’re doing to make it so, with the personal, one-of-a-kind personal touch of a comedian firmly dug into the trenches of the best and worst that Los Angeles has to offer comedy-wise (This is How to Make It in Comedy?). Just like when people frequently ask me how to get featured here, I tell them, “be funny and I’ll find it.”, conversely, if you want unequivocal, undeniable funny, keep finding your way back to the Comedy Bureau.

2) Boy, oh boy, we’re back in business with a regular COMEDY CRAWL and some of the best shows/comedians/people to make you laugh after sitting in traffic after getting off work on the first Monday of 2011: What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM, ARTIST ANARCHY @ PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30pm, SPEAKEASY @ HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up via e-mail speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com by 4PM/Starts promptly at 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) I understand if you just want to get home and have your comedy just done for you (though that’s pretty much what you do during a live show) Luckily, all you good folks can tune into IFC’s “Comedy Death Ray” w/host Scott Aukerman premiering tonight at 10PM and then catch Matt Braunger on the Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson 12:35PM on CBS.

5) “Is This Thing On?” Not only, “is it on”, the Gallery 1988 exhibition of 100 artists “taking” on representations of funny people like Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Murray, Louis CK, and many many more is something not to be missed. Starting this Fri. Jan. 7th at Gallery 1988, check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details this week.

6) Something that you might not know about the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic this Tues.: Señor Fish is open until 1AM and if there’s people still on the list, I’ll keep it running until then. Oh yeah, Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters are going to be there too. That’s enough reasons to go I think. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian My Vision Board wants me to get bi-focals.” This is Jackie’s second of the Tip of the Hat and I’m more than happy to give it to her just like I’m happy to go out of my way to see her because she is one of a couple of comedians who I literally witness “just turn it on” whenever they feel like it since they have the ability to do that. Also, her stories about her dad and husband are ones that need to be heard. You can do so tonight at What’s Up Tiger Lily? 8PM FREE, tomorrow at Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, and this Wed. at Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8 Website. Twitter. Tumblr. Dorkforest.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/2/11

1) In regards to Huffington Post’s “50 Funniest People of the Decade”, do those in charge of “informing” the public on “what is comedy” even know what comedy is anymore? Within their end-all, be all list for 2001-2010, they, first off, include Anderson Cooper, a strict journalist. Out of entire 10 years of comedy, the Huffington Post Comedy Staff actually decided to put the names Anderson Cooper amongst names like Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Conan O’Brien, and Paul F. Tompkins, which can only leave me to draw the conclusion that, like so many other “Best/Most Ever” lists, this is more of a popularity contest. Just like winning the Grammy for “Best Hip Hop Artist” has no actual bearing on talent so much as it does Soundscan’s numbers on someone’s shitty, air-horn laden, drenched-in-autotune single, being put on this particular list of who were the funniest people in the last ten years doesn’t necessarily indicate that the person “defined comedy” in that time (which is what the name of the list leads readers to believe). I understand that compiling such lists are incredibly stressful and time-consuming as I spent nearly three solid hours composing #Follow2011LAfunniest, a list of who you should follow on Twitter in 2011 (which is way better than Huffington Post version, if I may say so myself). There is a constant debate, even with only one person calling the shots, in trying to decide who makes the cut, but, you have to be objective as possible with what you’re compiling the list for. Thus, Huffington Post should have made “The 50 Funniest People that I Happen To Know About and/or Are Really Popular” to be more accurate. That’s why #Follow2011LAfunniest has people that may not have as many followers as @azizansari, but are consistently funnier than him along their entire log of Tweets. Several people are surprised with omissions of this Huffington Post list considering they are comedians/writers that are much funnier than the one’s featured. However, in deciphering what that list is really based on, I’m surprised that names omitted include Larry King and Russell Peters.

2) Oh, look, all kidding aside, you could physically make all of these shows, for once, on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (as well as afford them): The Not So Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12 (stand-by only), ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS (call 310 652 6188 before going) 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STARTING JAN. 3RD (that’s tomorrow) Scott Aukerman of Comedy Death Ray will host IFC’s own “Comedy Death Ray” featuring a 90 minute block of now-comedy classics like “Arrested Development”, “Freaks and Geeks”, “Undeclared”, “The Larry Sanders Show”, and “The Ben Stiller Show”. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, tune in on IFC at 10PM to not only catch some of the best comedy series ever created, but Scott Aukerman and several other figures within the comedy world weighing in on them.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Jokes. Destruction of public property. Fish Tacos. Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters. Don’t miss it. Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN: “AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR [HQ]” Lizzy is almost beyond words, but here I am, yet again, writing about her comedic genius. Three Time Tip of the Hat winner Lizzy Cooperman is of such a rare ilk of skilled comedic performer that she still makes me laugh with the same jokes even though I’ve heard them 20 times. You can “witness” her this Tues. Jan 4th at Shooting Gallery @ Club 8572/Palms 8:30PM $10 or Thurs. Jan. 6th at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Website. Twitter. Birds of Prey.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ron Lynch-Comedian of the Future

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. In 2011, there are no other problems, except the Comedy Bureau having $nothing.

9) 2011 Comedy Predictions: Getting a Favstar 100 on Twitter will become more important than doing certain rooms/shows.

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Post Brunch Update 1/1/11

1) “#Follow2011LAfunniest” represents the 13 funniest folks (2+0+11) in LA on Twitter. If you want your 2011 to be anything resembling an improvement from 2010, then you should read EVERYTHING these fine people write (oh yeah, you should go see them at a show… they’re pretty hilarious in real life too). #Follow2011LAfunniest Lizzy Cooperman (@lizzycooperman), Eddie Pepitone (@eddiepepitone), Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane), Paul Jay (@pauljaycomic), Andrés du Bouchet (@dubouchet), Matt Knudsen (@matt_knudsen), Matt Dwyer (@matt_dwyer), Tony Sam (@tonysam76), Ryan Stout (@stoutryan), Dave Ross (@davetotheross), Lauren Ashley Bishop (@sbellelauren), Robert Buscemi (@robertbuscemi), and Jamie Lee (@thejamielee).

2) 8PM’s about when you’ll regain consciousness today, I mean this evening and try to remember where you left jacket, your wallet, and, incidentally, your innocence. Just go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL and forget about it with Hipster New Year w/Eddie Pepitone @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $17/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) THE BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is back for another round with none other than JACKIE KASHIAN and ANDY PETERS! Don’t miss out on some ass-kicking fun at Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) this Tues. ¼. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to HASAN MINHAJ-“Law School Application” In his bio on his website, there is a line that reads “Today, Hasan enjoys writing biographies about himself in the third person.” Taking his observations about the world and himself throughout the country, Hasan is a comedic whirlwind that should be seen when you ever he’s going on stage. Such an occasion will happen on Mon. 1/3 at Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE and Tues. ¼ at Fresh Faces @ the Hollywood Laugh Factory 8PM $20/2 drink min. Here’s his website again along with his Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lenny Bruce All Alone (yes, I know I’ve posted this before, but if we’re taking this “brand new year” thing seriously, this is one of the first things I want anyone/everyone to watch in comedy.)

7) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. You can start off the year (if you believe in that sort of thing) as a good person (again, if you’re into that sort of thing) if you do so.

8) New Year’s Resolution jokes here we come, including the joke-within-itself of considering starting in comedy as an acceptable resolution.

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Morning Debriefing 12/29/10

1) Seriously, all irony aside, one great BIG thank you to everyone who came out to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic last night. IT WAS BLAST!! MATT KNUDSEN AND TONY SAM WERE A BLAST!!! EVERYONE WAS A BLAST!! In fact, management at Señor Fish has liked what we do so much that they’re putting an order in for a spotlight. How about that? The venue actually wanting to help the show. Again, thanks to all your support, only bigger and better things will come along for this room. NEXT WEEK ROUNDHOUSE KICKING THE YEAR OFF: JACKIE KASHIAN & ANDY PETERS!!! Don’t miss out ¼ @ Señor Fish!!!

2) Looking for a new year’s resolution, but don’t know exactly what to abstain from for a month? Perhaps you’ll get inspired at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Lettuce Entertain You (with Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Women Who Kill @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 drink min. The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Biscuits & Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284 1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 min./10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Corollary to Pound for Pound Open Mics. Note: Open mics on the weekend are generally pretty rough to do and I usually try to do other things comedy wise, but if you insist on finding somewhere to perform, here are my recommendations.
Saturday: Westside Comedy Theatre-Though short on stage time, people do occasionally wander in.
Sunday: Marty’s/The Open Mic-You do have to pay $5 and there’s no real opportunity for real people to watch you, but you do get to perform as many times as you want as well as experiencing a very diverse crowd of comics.

5) Now a word from some commercial sponsors at T-mobile. OH LOOK… it’s Barry Rothbart. (Note: The Comedy Bureau doesn’t have any sponsors)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JARROD HARRIS-“@JarrodHarris ‘Hey, everyone makes mistakes.’ – Wayne Harris: I’ll never ask my dad what it was like when I was born again.” Touring throughout the country as part of the Southern Comedy Quartet, Jarrod takes his very personal, painfully funny brand of comedy thankfully throughout the entirety of the Los Angeles comedy scene. You can actually check him out tonight on his show Biscuits & Gravy down at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Don’t miss out on his website, Twitter, or hilarious video series Action Figure Therapy.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Tracy Morgan Interview on Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Please x 10,000,000.

9) I’ve been writing for the Comedy Bureau for 2 months straight and just now realized it. I was really hoping it was a year before I had lost sense of time. Oh well….

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Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

1) As promised, here’s a very efficient breakdown of the POUND FOR POUND OPEN MICS for during the work week (going up on the weekends can be really tough and i’ll have a corollary to this list tomorrow) Selection of the following open mics is based on first-hand experience with the open mic on several occasions, the room’s overall inclination for performers to want to do material, having a chance of performing in front of a “real” audience", and then not dabble with the thought of quitting or committing suicide after. Check back at the Comedy Bureau daily for details of when and exactly where these open mics take place.
Monday: Tribal Cafe/Ground Zero USC-Tribal Cafe offers a great amount of stage time, Echo Park locals/hipsters actually sit in and listen, and no minimum. If you can obtain a USC student ID, Ground Zero is one of the best open mics as you could literally be performing for over 100 people.
Tuesday: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish-“Better than a comedy club in the OC”-Robert Blair (real person who sat through all 3 hours of the open mic)
Wednesday: Library A Coffee House-real people actually come back to listen to comedy, decent stage time
Thursday: Cafe on 2nd/Sandwich Spot-Cafe on 2nd has almost no comics and though there’s a $3 cover, you guaranteed 10 min. Sandwich Spot just has a great energy about it much in part to host Dan Reutter as well as getting a good amount of stage time.
Friday: iCandy/Trinity Church Open Mic-iCandy has a great energy about as new host/producer Shayne Michael has revitalized the open mic like a show. Trinity Church Open Mic is a great setting for working out material, though you have to be squeaky clean, as everyone there came to see the performers, intently listens, and wants to laugh. Also, there’s delicious food for a suggested donation.

2) We’re in that purgatory week, merely waiting for the end of the year/next time we can get unabashedly trashed while suffering little consequence because the mere changing of calendars apparently means you’re absolved of wrong doings. Start along that path on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Pop & Politics w/Jimmy Dore @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, then Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min., and finish with Incubator @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The entire Comedy Bureau staff would like to extend its congratulations to Louis CK, his show Louie, sketch group Birds of Prey, The Morning After Podcast, Rob Delaney, and Garfunkel and Oates for winning their respective categories in Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010. Check out details here.

5) Asterios Kokkinos ADDED 2 MORE TUMBLRS to his Family of Tumblrs (there’s 7 of them rascals now), one of which is actually dedicated to keeping you abreast of the details on all of the other “family members”. Check out Asterios’ Facebook Wars and all encompassing Asterios Kokkinos Family of Tumblrs. If you follow all 7, Asterios will make a personal photo badge of you to commemorate your dedication to his comedy. Like, Scott Bowser…

6) On Dec. 15th, The Nerdist Podcast took over the regular scheduled awesome weekly show Meltdown at Meltdown Comics and presented COMEDIANS YOU SHOULD KNOW. We here at the Comedy Bureau tend to agree with the Nerdist on that notion as it includes Matt Braunger, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Cibis, Jonah Ray, Kyle Kinane, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Fairbanks. Here is a live recording of the events as they happened.

7) It’s been mentioned several times already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is happening tonight!!! Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/raffles/yelling at Russell/Tony Sam/Russell yelling back at Jake/Matt Knudsen/$2 fish tacos. ALL AT SEÑOR FISH. Don’t miss out.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAKE WEISMAN wrote on Facebook yesterday “SOMETIMES I PLAY A GAME WHERE I IMITATE A MEOW AS BEST I CAN AND THEN MY CATS COME SNIFF ME BECAUSE THEY SENSE I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE NATURAL CARETAKERS AND YEAH I’VE GOT IT TOGETHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY.” As half the podcasting juggernaut that is The Morning After Podcast (Punchlist 2010’s Best New Podcast), Jake goes to any and all mics around town to talk about cats, porn, and more cats. He’s pretty damn funny about it too. Don’t miss out on The Morning After Podcast, Jake’s Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

10) Recently, a comic was surprised he was performing for comics at an open mic after Christmas. I am going to send this to Webster’s Dictionary as one of the examples for the definition of “irony”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO (call 310 824-0820 before going) 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

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Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

1) Hashtags. #whatthehellisthis? #whydoIcare? Partially as a necessity to promote one’s self as a performer and partially as an indulgence into one’s own belief in their own genius, being on Twitter for comedians, not only in LA, but around the world, seems like a natural occurrence. Many comedians indeed just promote their shows/videos/podcasts/etc. while others tweet absolutely everything they do while other others even go further and actually utilize Twitter as a sort of “open mic” for jokes that might actually might make it into their act. Taking that all into consideration, the newest and possibly most interesting “comedian trend” on Twitter is the “joke hashtag” where a random, arcane topic, such as “fat indie bands”, is preceded by the “#” symbol and has no spaces in between, which follows an attempt at that topic. Ex. “@blitzkroeger Rage Against the Blood Pressure Machine #fatindiebands”. If you like subjecting yourself to following 400 people on Twitter and reading EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR TWEETS, then you’ll notice that many comedians all the way from big time “names” like Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) to some excellent “no-name” writers spend a considerable amount of time coming up for more tweets to add to that “joke hashtag”, when they will most likely never in their entire lifetime on stage, ever use any of that. In fact, nearly all of these types of tweets are extremely pun based and I can hardly see anyone using them onstage ever, much less on tour/on the road where Twitter terminology is quite possibly a foreign language. Yet, as a comedian, I feel compelled, like it’s running laps during 6th grade P.E. to join in on the “joke hashtag” fest. As this keeps happening and my time to be productive/be the Comedy Bureau is eaten away at, I ask myself why do I succumb to this and I’ve concluded that joining in on these “joke hashtags” is the new form of “riffing” over dinner or while smoking outside that, above all else, keeps you sharp, thinking on your toes, and ready for something that isn’t in your element. As I’ve come to see the value in thinking what some more “#failedrockbandmovies” are, I would say to comics, perhaps join in on some “joke hashtags” to work out your brain for later when writing your own material and, sometimes (emphasis on sometimes) to actually have fun. #whatanovelconcept #articlesnoonecaresabout

2) For branding purposes only, I am maintaining the term “COMEDY CRAWL” for tonight even though there is only one show I would recommend. For tonight, go to Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) It has been brought to my attention that people actually read the CHAIN OF COMMAND section of the Comedy Bureau and are curious as to the nature of the other members. Consigliere Joe Braza, Field Liaison Jeremy Paul, and Assistant to the Field Liaison Russell Corona are all dedicated members of the Comedy Bureau hand picked by me/the Bureau Director himself to ensure that I don’t go completely insane in trying to issue out the “debriefing” everyday. Also, they take care a lot of heavy lifting and any ancillary dirty work that I need done. In addition to all of that, they comprise of some of the funniest folks I know. To all those interested in contributing to the Comedy Bureau, before you find me, I’ll find you OR just e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com

5) It was asked of me several weeks ago that I list the “Pound for Pound” Open Mics in the Los Angeles area for every day of the week as I’m the guy whose willing to drive to such mythical places as Alhambra and Carson and even beyond for some stage time. The wait for this list is over… tomorrow and then everyone can see what’s the best place to actually try out material instead of risking doing so when booked.

6) TOMORROW is the premiere of Part 8 of the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Don’t miss cheap food, cheap beer, cheap Tony Sam and Matt Knudsen, some cheap great laughs, and cheap “big trouble” at Señor Fish. Be at 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA at 6:30PM for sign-up and 7PM for the start. That is all.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAN DAVIDSON-“Interview with a Virgin” Being named one of the “Funniest Moms in America” by Nick at Nite might lead you to believe that Jan Davidson tells cute jokes about her kids, but you couldn’t be more mistaken. Jan is one of the more edgy, innovative, amazing performers amongst, not just mothers, but all comics that I’ve come across in my travels as the Comedy Bureau and certainly a joy to watch. Please check her myspace page and/or back at the Comedy Bureau for more on Jan and her next performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

10) In reference to my act, I was just told by my dad that “being unable to get a girl” and “hating your mother” are not relatable topics of discussion. I must be out of touch with our “zeitgeist” as everyone is APPARENTLY successfully dating and are members of a fully functional, totally agreeable nuclear family unit. My apologies Comedy Community/Los Angeles/America.

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Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

1) The amazingly funny LA comedian Asterios Kokkinos along with his “Family of Tumblrs” has taken comedy via “online minutiae” to an entirely new level. With what essentially is 5 entirely different blogs through upstart social networking site www.tumblr.com, all with a very specific theme, showcases the depth and vastness of Asterios’ knowledge of popular culture and his overall cleverness. From a blog about pitching “horribly awesome” screenplay ideas (Presidentbaby.com), to a blog featuring “What Happened on the Internet Today” (whotit.tumblr.com), to a blog that has transcripts of Asterios’ various hilarious online conversations (chatloggin.tumblr.com), to his own personal blog (asterios.tumblr.com), and even to a blog parodying Billy Joel standard “Movin’ Out” (6acks.tumblr.com), Kokkinos not only offers up several great ways to see his sensational comedy to the entire world, but does so in basically one neatly wrapped online package. Be sure to check out Asterios’ Family of Tumblrs and check back at the Comedy Bureau to see if he adds any more to the 5 featured here as well as when he’s performing LIVE (you really don’t want to miss out on that).

2) Done with Christmas? You should be. Don’t you dare go to a damn sale and succumb to things you don’t need being 70% off. Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, which will cost less than the mysterious $200 receipt you’ll inevitably rack up if you go to any major retailer today. Start with ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then go to Holiday All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min, and finish with Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6 PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL (call 323 851 5557 before going) 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Why wait until the New Year for this…? Christmas already passed, so here’s is the COMEDY BUREAU MISSION STATEMENT: The Comedy Bureau is, above all, committed to advancing the art form of Comedy in the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area and beyond as well as enlightening the general population about the funniest and most creative Los Angeles based comedic performers.

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

6) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is BACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK (6acks.tumblr.com) this Tuesday 12/28 with none other than TONY SAM and MATT KNUDSEN!!! I shouldn’t have to say anything else about $2 fish tacos, etc. Señor Fish. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ESTHER POVITSKY-“@Little_Esther I hate it when my slave pulls the "I’m your mother” card.“ Doing shows with Esther BEFORE Joe Rogan "tested” her, so to speak, by taking her on the road, was always a delight. The incredibly petite Esther is deceptive in her comedy with a dry, more honest sense of humor. Here’s her blog and her Twitter, two things you shouldn’t miss.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Starting from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this took place within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredible Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

Still can’t really figure out what exactly what the “trick” is, which is why I will definitely go to the next edition of this show and you should too. Trick takes places one Sunday a month at Bordello Bar just East of downtown LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next. one.

2) This is officially the shortest COMEDY CRAWL in the history of the Comedy Bureau and one that you can actually make both shows (well… if you are able to get into the second one that is….) What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Now a message from comedienne Barbara Gray: If you haven’t heard, Casey’s cancelled the open mic because they felt it wasn’t bringing them business. Call Casey’s today and ask them if there is an open mic. Nothing offensive or rude, but I think this is a great way to just show them how many people they are missing out on coming to the bar. (213) 629-2353 is the number. They open at 11:30 am. Please pass this on to comics who may be interested.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is going for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN!!! Raffles a-plenty of food and pieces of Russell’s childhood and some other stuff my sleeve, not to mention, MARIANNE SIERK!!! Come to Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to AMY DRESNER-“@AmyDresner I just wept during an episode of Law & Order: SVU. My meds must be off.” I personally admire Amy for her brutal honesty on stage, which is a laugh riot, and her “bringing the goods” comedy wise every time I’ve seen her live. Check out her website and follow her on Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Started from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this takes places within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredibly Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

1) The following is a page from one of my various comedy notebooks. I almost forgot that I had written this down, but I’ll just say this is probably something that all of comedians and comediennes go through. Well, I hope so….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is one for the ages, certainly this year, and one that I won’t waste on clever quips and metaphors. LET’S GO to Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH/LAST SHOW EVER @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics w/RSVP), then Pink Door Cancer Fundraiser for Joan Miracle and Linda Gysin @ Harvelle’s Blues Bar 7:30PM $20, then Out West Holiday Extravaganza @ RoosterFish 8PM $5, then Drew Carey and the Improv All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray Best Christmas Nativity Pageant Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $25 (stand by only), then Hamclown 2 @ Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor/The Mezz) 8:30PM FREE, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and if you’re still alive, finish with G-damn Comedy Jam @ Mare’ka 9PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, THE COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

6) As mentioned in the “Open Mic Run” feature above, THERE GON’ BE SOME BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! TONY SAM AND JAMIE LEE GON’ BRING THE PAIN!!! (no structures and/or person/persons shall be harmed during the duration of this open mic) As always, $2 fish tacos, delicious potatoes tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported, and raffles a plenty down at SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JOSH FADEM-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Spinning, whirring, and crashing throughout on any given night on any given stage, Josh Fadem combines a smart sense of humor with the comedic sensibilities of Tex Avery and is quite the treat to see live. That’s why he’s one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch of this year. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show Also, don’t miss him on Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

10) Since none of you got back to me on the idea of wearing a reporter’s fedora when out at the Comedy Bureau, I’ll just go ahead and do it and perhaps suffer the consequences, if there are any, or…. yeah, that’s probably the only thing that’ll happen.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/8/10

1) BIG THANKS to everyone who came out to cause some BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO (there’s no intentional reference to Dec. 7th, 1941 here)!!! Thanks once again to the fantastic ABBEY LONDER!!! Next week: We find the girls with green eyes and TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!! WHAT!??!?!? DEC. 14TH. SEÑOR FISH. SIGN UP 6:30PM. STARTS 7PM.

2) COMEDY CRAWL COMICTHON @ Hollywood Laugh Factory HAPPENING RIGHT NOW one unwrapped toy, Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5, “If This Doesn’t Work, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Eagle Rock Comedy Festival @ The York, Coffee Table Lounge, Brownstone Pizzeria, and more 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Riot! @ El Cid 9:30PM $10, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/1 item min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign up (lottery) 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Some regular readers of the Comedy Bureau posts wonder what I’m going to do as a “Year in the Review” since several other comedy news websites are already doing their “Year in Review” posts or countdowns/top 10 lists. Again, one of the goals here at the Comedy Bureau is to get rid of “comedy red tape” and as such, I’m going to make a “Top 10 List of 2010 Comedy Lists” so you don’t have to wonder about which list to actually pay attention to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” NOW available for pre-sale at AST Records. Consider it as one of those “Christmas presents for yourself”, especially if you live alone.

6) Brand Spankin’ New Podcasts are about to drop very soon on Earwolf from none other than Howard Kremer, Drew Droege, and Paul Scheer. I really shouldn’t have to say more than that, but you can indulge yourself in a higher word-count/more details here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan #StoutsGuideToSuicide – Tip 396 – The best day to kill yourself is ALWAYS yesterday.” Now having the select distinction of being one of three people to get another “Tip of the Hat”, Ryan shows why he’s regarded not only one of the fastest rising comics right now, but also why he’s one of the best joke writers in “the biz”. Check him out at his website and follow him on Twitter or suffer the consequences (inquire at thecomedybureau@gmail.com for details on consequences)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Late World w/Zach Galifianakis-Pre-School

9) Some asked why I would do Marty’s from 5PM to 11PM and it’s not because I’m a comedy masochist. I do it so none of you have to go through it in case you ever had the curiosity of what it may be like as you can see on Twitter (look for #martysmarathon). That’s why I ask for donations.

10) Comedy Bureau PSA to the General Public: No comic ever wants feedback in the form of audible comments DURING their set. THIS HAS NEVER BEEN THE CASE. So, please, show your appreciation/disdain in uproarious laughter/silence. This ad has been sponsored by the Comedy Bureau.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/7/10

1) Yesterday, as I said, I went did the Marty’s Marathon, meaning I went up at the same open mic from 5PM to 11PM. Instead of reviewing the whole experience, I’m going to just list all the tweets I had through the duration of the open mic as a “stream of consciousness” primary document to impart what exactly what I went through:
“At Marty’s for comedy open mic march of death. #thisisgoingtobefun #convincinghashtag.”
“Audience/comics that may not listen of 3.”
“Host redoing opening joke”
“I love to hear homeless men fart.” #openmicgenius"
“Host running time by when he finishes his burger”
“People are looking at me while performing like I’m the only audience member because that’s kind of the case.”
“Finished first set at marty’s and I’m thinking already "I’m still here”
“There’s a crowd…. of five….. two of which are actually listening”
“Apparently, I’m not the first one to do Marty’s from 5pm to 11pm. DAMN IT!!!”
“To do material or to depress the shit out of people #openmichamlet”
“You know what happens when I play hard to get? I DON’T GET GOT!” #openmicgenius"
“Sad dick dead dick ad dick dead dick dead dick dead dick happy dick sad dick happy dick dead dick sad dick happy dick”
“People keep think I’m texting. If only they knew what I was really doing.”
“Got set number 2 in and got three awwwwws. #imstillhere”
“Almost 8pm and have not gotten up 3 times at Marty’s or had more than 3 "audience members”.
“Oh, and looks like I went with ”…to depress the shit out of people" #openmichamlet #reallythoughigotsomelaughs"
“I’m addicted to cleaning my ears… It’s ear sex.” #openmicgenius"
“3hr 38 min mark, still waiting to go up third time.”
“What do you want from me?!?!??!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??????????”
“Hour 4, still waiting for set number 3”
“3 people and the remnants of a person on stage left here at Marty’s”
“13 minutes for third set at marty’s for three people”
“10 min. conversation with host on stage in between comics.”
“In hour 5, still here with three other people”
“Just did 4 sets at Marty’s and it’s 11. FUCK.”
“6 hours for 35 min. of stage time, though still feel empty. #maybethatsjustme”

2) While waiting to see how long the Laugh Factory Comicthon will last or the judgment on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange you should probably go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’ll be better for your life in general. Start off with Sataristas Live @ Actor’s Gang 7PM Pay-what-you-can, then Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge @ Red Rock 8PM FREE, then This is Not Happening Presents: This Year in Review @ Hollywood Improv Lab $5/2 drink min., then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, then Three’s Comedy 5 Year Anniversary @ Three of Clubs 9PM FREE, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5, then finish with Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, then BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! ABBEY LONDER!!! $2 FISH TACOS!!! SURPRISE RAFFLES!!! $3 DOMESTIC/$4 IMPORTED BEER!!! Oh yeah, you can literally walk to Holy Fuck after this. (details above)

5) The Hollywood Laugh Factory has already set out to gain the world record of longest running continuous live comedy show, which is apparently 50 hours, with COMICTHON while simultaneously accepting toy donations for the Children’s Hospital and will run for a few days this week. It has been advertised that Dave Chappelle will go up at some point, but there’s no indication as to when he will perform or when Dane Cook will go up. Check 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA at your own pleasure/peril.

6) “Special Case Mention” from friend of the Comedy Bureau’s Hasan Minhaj-If you’ve ever considered doing standup comedy understand that you’ll have to be able to follow this. This is real: http://yfrog.us/nfnu8z

7) Maria Bamford has already played one living room earlier this year. Make the next living room she plays YOURS!!! Auction for a private performance from Maria Bamford here. All proceeds go the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN-“@lizzycooperman "Peaks and valleys, man. It’s all about peaks and valleys.” – a depressed person summing up life, or the book “Let’s Go Afghanistan”. Yet another repeat “Tip of the Hat” winner, Lizzy is quite simply a privilege to watch with her furiously smart and swift jokes and should never be missed. Don’t miss Lizzy tomorrow at Riot @ El Cid $10 4212 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA, The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA, and with her fabulous sketch group Birds of Prey at Please, Thank You, You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8:30PM. Also, be sure to check out Lizzy’s website and absolutely follow her on Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: “Hello There” A film by Louis CK

10) Forget about whether it ‘tis the season or not… The Comedy Bureau needs your support. Please donate here, if you are willing and able/decent person.

11) RT @Kabelion Based on comedy centrals 10 best comics of 2010, this year was the weakest year in comedy since Gallagher 1 was the biggest thing going.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/6/10

1) Most comics in Los Angeles find that they can only get up once a night. Some of the more dedicated comics hustle out to do two spots in one night, then the hardest workers I find can do about four in one night, if there’s the opportunity to. Tonight, for benefit of the LA comedy community, the Comedy Bureau is going to go up about 8 times, possibly even more, by performing at Marty’s/The Open Mic from 5PM to 11PM to let you know what it’s like without you ever having to try it. Marty’s is an open mic that allows performers, after they pay the $5 cover, to go up as many times as they want/feel is necessary/can handle. You can follow this journey into what very well might be a productive night of comedy OR comedy purgatory bordering on the tips of the flames of comedy hell on Twitter right here.

2) Nice and easy seems to be theme of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with all of the weekly shows regularly listed here in full effect (NOT TO MENTION THAT ALL OF THIS COSTS JUST $5) Start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, and I’m sure you’ll have enough money to finish off the night at Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 and be able to get home.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts “around” 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Louis CK was on the Tonight Show. I didn’t get to watch it live because I was performing at an AA room, but I watched parts 1-3 of the interview here, here, and here.

5) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is back for PART 5!!! Tomorrow night’s very, incredibly, special guest: ABBEY LONDER!!! Oh yeah, don’t forget $2 fish tacos and raffles galore (meaning probably 3). Tues. Dec. 7th @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT KNUDSEN “@matt_knudsen I love reindeer. They are delicious.” Armed with his incredibly astute, sharp one-liners and his remarkably delightful low-key presence, Matt Knudsen not only gets to entertain all around Los Angeles, but is regularly featured on several TV shows including, most recently, Detroit 1-8-7 and Men of a Certain Age. He just released an album, “The Comedic Stylings of Matt Knudsen”, which you should definitely buy and can be seen live this week at the “Toys for Tots Benefit” @ Hudson Mainstage Wed. Dec. 8th and improv group “The Waterbrains” @ The Westside Comedy Theatre“ Fri. Dec. 10th $10. Do not forget to check out his website and follow him on Twitter.

7) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Sam Kinison’s First Appearance on Letterman

8) I’m doing basically an entire 12 hour day for LA Comedy today. Please donate (cash donations in person accepted as Tumblr is down).

9) Tumblr can’t stop the Comedy Bureau, but many near and dear friends tell me “dating a woman” would probably do the trick. I’ll guess we’ll have to find out….

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Post Brunch Update 12/1/10

1) The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre showed how beautiful the concept of a prank could really be. Whether telling stories that are acted out in dazzling fashion of “pranks” being pulled on them or having guest performers pull “pranks” on the entire audience or enacting “The Popcorn Trick”, one never gets a feeling of ill will towards Chris and David Walsh, but, instead, just simply has a spirited fun time. Without tipping off too much, The Walsh Brothers offered an absolutely superb variety of acts ranging from hilarious sketches featuring themselves James Patterson reading letters to Billionaires and their subsequent responses to the amazing Tony Sam as Electroface, an insecure pro-wrestler, to even an amazing part of the show just called ‘Personal Disco’. Though some of The Walsh Brothers act may seem incredibly goofy at the beginning, Chris and David maintain such a great balance of commitment/fearlessness throughout whatever they’re doing on stage that keeps the audience engaged to the end, which is actually quite genius. If you really want to see what I’m talking about, the Walsh Brothers Show takes places frequently at the UCB Theatre and the Walsh Brothers themselves perform all around LA, so check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on upcoming shows.

2) BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME OUT TO BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC LAST NIGHT!! IT WAS SO FANTASTIC WITH RYAN STOUT ACTUALLY COMING DOWN AND ACTUALLY GETTING AN APPLAUSE BREAK THAT IT NECESSITATES ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! DON’T MISS IT NEXT TUESDAY @ SEÑOR FISH, 422 E. 1ST ST. SIGN-UP 6:30PM/STARTS 7PM.

3) I know that already just eye-balling this tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you might feel intimidated, but I’m just going to go ahead and say DEAL WITH IT!!! All these shows are going to be a damn good time and should not be missed. Start off with Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater (awesome video promo) 8PM $5, then Frolic @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Maria Bamford’s Eagle Rock Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation, then You’ve Seen These Guys @ The Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, then Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min., then Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $20/2 drink min., then finish STRONG with the Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY: A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd st., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The lovely and talented Kate Micucci of Garfunkel and Oates just dropped her solo album Phone Home (don’t worry, Garfunkel and Oates are still together), which I highly suggest that you check out/buy/download/support/listen to when you really need to smile. You can do so right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVEY JOHNSON-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey Johnson is a whirlwind of comedy in LA that definitely needs to be seen live to really experience the full force of hilarity. Performing routinely with some of the best sketch groups in LA, which includes his own “The Doorknockers” with the also amazing Randy Liedtke featured weekly at “The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch”, Davey Johnson “rolls with it” in the best way possible. You can see Davey tonight in the aforementioned Birds of Prey @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $5 and at The Second Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever @ The Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 16th 8PM $10. Also, you can follow Davey on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Doug Stanhope’s Comedy Death Camp

8) Donating blood leaves you sleepy and most likely unable to live tweet about it or subsequently laugh about it. Avoid this situation by donating and following the Comedy Bureau.

9) Sometimes I feel so close to getting somewhere in comedy, which always seems to be accompanied by the feeling of going completely broke.

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Post Brunch Update 11/30/10

1) The Ground Zero Performance Cafe Open Mic @ USC gives comics a great chance to perform in front of real college students, though, as with all open mics, without its shortcomings. In a quite dazzling venue that can seat more than 100 (as I have witnessed on occasion for the open mic) with professionally lit stage bigger than the Improv, it would seem that the Ground Zero would be a dream setting to work out material in a free 7 minute spot. However, there are a few trade-offs. This is the only open mic in ALL of the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area that does not have a host, which keeps the audience “cold” between performers (no one brings up the next act), not to mention that a voice in the dark asks for your name when you’re supposed to go up. Also, as this open mic is at USC, the show is biased towards student as there is a USC student sign-up 15 minutes before the Non-student sign-up, which can make it, on really busy nights, very hard to get on the list. Still, if you do manage to get on the list, its one of the closest things to performing in front of real people in a somewhat realistic setting and I would highly recommend it. Ground Zero USC is located, almost hidden, on the USC campus in between three dormitories (Marks Tower, Trojan Residence, and Marks Hall) next to Figueroa St., just a block north of Exposition Blvd (e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you need further assistance) will be on hiatus until Jan. 10 and then resume taking place every Monday w/USC student sign-up at 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/starting at 9:30PM.

2) The Lakers, though they will be on several TV’s this evening, are not in town tonight, so go out on a COMEDY CRAWL because comedy doesn’t call “techs” that ruin the game. Start off with Gravity Works w/Sarah Hyland @ Dragonfly 7:30PM $15, then Hamclown! @ The Mezz in the Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor) 8:30PM FREE, Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Conan Showcase @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.-$2.50/2 item min w/code: coshow/This show is sold out, but people do flake in LA…, then finish off the fastbreak with The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed

4) Comedy Death Ray, or what some people refer to as “the people in LA that don’t suck”, just dropped “XMAS CD 2010”, a musical Christmas delight featuring people that can sing, that can’t sing, and people that can sing and choose to, for effect, sing poorly, but are all pretty damn funny, including: Garfunkel and Oates, Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, James Adomian and many more! Check it out/buy it/order it here. Also, check out the hilarious accompanying music video We Are the World 25.75 w/Kurt Russell.

5) I know you just read it up above, but the BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is causing a little bit of mayhem tonight with, as I also have mentioned several times before, SPECIAL GUEST RYAN STOUT/JERRY BRANDT/$2 FISH TACOS. More etails above and at the link, so be there or be square… or really any number of equilateral polygons as there are all pretty boring.

6) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau (yeah, there’s still more stuff coming because I love guys and comedy all that much): updated Comedy Maps with routes of active shows and recommended open mics, UPDATED DAILY!

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to BARRY ROTHBART- “@barryrothbart Leslie Nielsen died doing what he loved most, being remembered for only the 1% of his career that involved word puns.” When not filming national televised commercials for Honda, Barry Rothbart makes his way throughout several “big” rooms in LA with ease, just like he does with absolutely hysterical anecdotes about his life ranging from filming in a nudist colony to trying to clumsily pick up ladies in the street. Transplanted from the East Coast, the Comedy Bureau is damn sure glad he’s over here now. Check out Barry’s blog, website, and twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) “Quite the LIVE TWEETING extravaganza happened last night at an open mic as you can read here AND if you enjoyed it or any of the awesome features that this site has to offer, you can donate here.”-Ghost of Christmas “You Should Probably Donate to the Comedy Bureau”

10) A person asked me last night if I was going to break out the “holiday” material. As a large chunk of my material deals with horribly awkward social interactions with my family, I told her my “holiday” material is a pretty much the same as my “normal” material, which, incidentally, is how much I care about being topical.

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Morning Debriefing 11/29/10

1) RIP Leslie Nielsen-Without Surf Ninjas, I don’t think I would have had a childhood.

2) You want a ‘Recession Special Sale’? Do you want a ‘Holiday Special Sale’? Well, forget both of those because probably the cheapest/best COMEDY CRAWL I’ve ever posted. So start saving with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House FREE, and feel like you’ve gotten your $5 dollars worth by ending the night with Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUGH FACTORY 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6:30PM/10-15 spots available, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts around 7PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles CA (on USC campus between Marks Hall, Marks Tower, and Trojan Residence Hall Dorms)/USC Student Sign-up 9PM/Non-USC Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central just released its list of the best breakout comedians of 2010 and Comedy Bureau favorites Kyle Kinane and Chelsea Peretti (Reggie Watts too, though he’s NYC) made the list. Congratulations to them as they will all be featured on Comedy Central this Friday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic PART 4 is TOMORROW NIGHT and we have RYAN STOUT coming down to perform as a very special guest. Yeah, that’s RYAN STOUT everyone. Plus a happy hour w/$2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, raffles a plenty, etc. Again, TOMORROW Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Señor Fish/422 E. 1st St. (Little Tokyo/near downtown).

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ANDY PETERS–

Hailing from Seattle, Andy now, luckily for us, Los Angeles his home and is a favorite all around the LA comedy circuit from the likes of the Hollywood Improv to the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. Absolutely “tearing it up” on stage with his fierce, irreverent style, one should never miss a chance to see Andy Peters perform. Your next chance will be tonight at Anthill Pub & Grille (C-215 Student Center, UCI, Irvine, CA ) 9PM FREE and at Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv Dec. 1st 10PM $14/2 item min. Also be sure to check out his Website and Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Play From Your Fucking Heart

7) So the Comedy Bureau will be at an open mic tonight, so THERE WILL BE LIVE TWEETING (oh, and it will be some fun as this open mic doesn’t have a host). I’ll be taking donations here. I mean, please give… here.

8) Getting ready for a show that takes place after an AA meeting this week. Somehow, I don’t think open mics help that much in this regard.

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Morning Debriefing 11/24/10

1) A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to everyone who caused some GREAT BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! Let’s do it again sometime… MEANING next Tuesday at the same time and in the same place. (hint: Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/next to downtown OR 1st & Alameda) Also, better directions for free parking!

2) Give thanks that you don’t have to find all these great shows for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Go to Nobody Likes Onions @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., Come Out Laughing @ The Long Beach Laugh Factory 8PM $12/2 drink min., Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Beer in the Shower: Pilgrims & Indians-Potluck/Stand-up @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9PM FREE, Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv (yeah, I’d actually go to this one).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Like I always have promised, I bring you the best in LA Comedy and now I’m making it even easier to find it on this blog. The Comedy Bureau now introduces “Bureau Approved”, which everything that pasts the rigorous test (i.e. whether I like it or not) of the Comedy Bureau Comedy Standards and features anything from podcasts to webseries to blog posts to clips of people being on the tube. Check it out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAMIE LEE-@thejamielee Tofurkey? Tofuck yourself. Having already been on Last Comic Standing this year, Jamie has been a real gift to LA Comedy this year during her stay in LA (OK, she’s a NYC comic, but, for now is calling LA her home). Currently, she brings her sharp, witty, and charming comedy to homes around America writing for “Ridiculousness” on MTV and can be seen LIVE on “Crash Test” @ The UCB Theatre 11PM Mon. Nov. 29th and the “Conan Showcase” @ The Hollywood Improv 10PM Tues. Nov. 30th. Here’s her website and her twitter for all the Jamie Lee you can possibly handle… and then some.

6) The Comedy Bureau adds yet another rank to its Chain of Command: Head of Karma Police Russell Corona (don’t worry he can’t actually do anything to anyone). Welcome to the Comedy Bureau, Russell.

7) If you have any suggestions, comments, remarks, just want to say Hi to make sure that I’m still doing OK, etc. for the Comedy Bureau, there is an e-mail that you can send them to at thecomedybureau@gmail.com. So simple that you almost don’t have a reason not to do it.

7) Does the Salvation Army do anything for LA Comedy? I don’t THINK SO! Donate to the Comedy Bureau here.

8) If you’ve ever wondered what a comic thinks while going from open mics to shows to coffee shops and bars to various streets to get/write material, follow the Comedy Bureau on Twitter here. I’m pretty sure a small minority only wonders that, but please “humor” me and do it.

9) Tomorrow will be the ONE MONTH mark that the Comedy Bureau has been officially running. I know it’s not “that” impressive, but I just want to thank everyone for has been following this blog/loving read it/supporting the Comedy Bureau/etc. and point out that, ironically, tomorrow has only one or two comedy events to write about. Thanks again everyone, comics and real people alike!!!

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Morning Debriefing 11/22/10

1) Depression-a-palooza @ my own head, basically, is something you never want to go to. Last night was the first time I didn’t go out in several months and let’s just hope this doesn’t happen too frequently, mostly because drinking alone is never a pleasant experience (i.e. I tweeted, “Apparently, I’m the star of Home Alone 7: It’s Your Own Fault Because You Won’t Try Online Dating. #straighttovideo #diealone #samething).

2) COMEDY CRAWL Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10, Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour @ Largo 8PM $20, Dame Funny @ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club 8PM $20/2 drink min., What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7PMish, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8:15PM, GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on eastern most side of USC campus/in between dormitories)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour is taking submissions to come to your house/apartment/living space. Just make a 2 minute video and post it on facebook here to have a chance to have Tig Notaro and her friends have a friggin’ comedy show in your backyard/living room/where you don’t sleep in your living space.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is tomorrow night. Last week I gave away cheeseburger shaped cookies and a 15-min. drop in spot. WHO KNOW WANTS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK?!?!? Show up and find out. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

6) The Comedy Bureau "Tips Its Hat” today to ANDRÉS DU BOUCHET for this amazing two-part tweet: “@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written "HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).“ Andrés currently and deservedly writes for Conan here in LA. Here’s his site/blog here and then you can follow him on Twitter here. DO IT NOW!!!

7) Coming soon to the Comedy Bureau: "Tip of the Hat” Archive and everything and anything that’s “Bureau Approved” featuring everything that’s already been featured so all of you fine folks can find it quite easily instead of digging through all of these posts like I do.

8) I wouldn’t be asking for a donation if I wasn’t currently writing this blog on my bed. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau so we can change this (mostly for a bigger bed).

9) Planning to watch Social Network today, then write 5 minutes on it. Instead of being on the cutting edge with the latest news, I like being “dollar theater” topical, though I may need to start a show at a dollar theater for it to work.

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Post Brunch Update 11/17/10

1) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic @ Señor Fish thanks everyone for coming out and making it a bigger room. Also, thanks to “cheeseburger cookies” that were raffled off tasting like normal vanilla flavored/chocolate filled cookies. Come next Tues. Nov. 23rd for the mayhem/fun and another random Japanese food item. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo.

2) Stripped Stories @ UCB Theatre gave an increasingly rare experience amongst live comedy shows where performers actually talk about themselves as honestly as they possibly can. So much painful/endearing humor can be drawn from the horrible/amazing things that happen in life and Stripped Stories showed, beyond a shadow of doubt, how great that can be. Though the name of the show might lead you to believe it’s just a bunch of vulgar sex stories, I believe that “stripped” is in reference into how every performer on the show strips their normal stage persona and become vulnerable and hilarious in a way that I never expected. In from NYC, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman stopped here in LA with their amazing show at the UCB Theatre and hosted/shared some sensational and hysterical stories with Michelle Buteau, Tony Sam, and a few musical confessions from Wendy Ho. Stripped Stories tours nationwide and check back at the Comedy Bureau for the details for the next show.

3) OK, we’ve talked about cloning and I’m pretty sure traveling through time to get to COMEDY CRAWL in its entirety. Well, you’re going to have to BOTH for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: Start off with The Frolic Show! @ Barbarella Bar 8PM FREE, then travel back in time to The Laughing Skull Showcase @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., make a clone, send it to “If This Doesn’t Work Out I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then have the clone go back in time to Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Eatery & Lounge 8PM FREE, then travel to the future, or present, to Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then meet up with your clone at Biscuits and Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, make another clone and send it to Silver Mullet @ The Hideout 8:30PM FREE, then send the first clone to Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and go ahead and teleport to Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $20, then take yourself to Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 10PM FREE, and then gather everyone at Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ The Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5, then kill the clones and destroy the time machines because they turned out to be your doppelgangers bent on making 2010 the new 2012.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/6:30PM, THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach CA/8PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St. Sign-up 7PM/Starts at 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/can go up multiple times.

5) Holy Fuck! The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to Dave Ross. “@davetotheross ask not what your country can do for you… ask China. they have money.” Follow him on Twitter here. Great guy/comedian/obsessed with the F word Dave Ross also his year anniversary of his amazing show Holy Fuck! next Tues., Nov. 23rd, 9PM @ Downtown Independent Theatre, which is something not to be missed.

6) The Comedy Bureau will be in at a few open mics, a comedy competition doing only 3 min., and wondering what has become of the comedy scene in Long Beach tonight. Hear all about it as I’ll/we’ll be LIVE TWEETING the whole time here.

7) Donate and I’ll temporarily lift my belief that karma doesn’t exist AND something good will happen to you. Test that theory here.

8) Tony Parker/Eva Longoria divorce jokes vs. more Prop. 19 failing jokes. I’m wondering which of the two I’ll hear more tonight and why I’d rather hear more 9/11 jokes.

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