la – Page 5 – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

1) On the Eve of Christmas Eve, on a night that most people are merely waiting for the rise of Christmas Morning, one, James Adomian, brought on one of the best LA stand up comedy performances of the year at the Josh and Josh Show. I write this without any hesitation at all even though I have seen an average of four hours of live stand up virtually every night for the last several months. Before Adomian went on tour for the last few months, I had seen him do versions of his act at least 10 times or to the point where I could write his set list out for him, but even in knowing what was coming, Adomian transcended all of my expectations with his superb impressions and uncanny awareness as a performer on stage. Last night, at Bar Lubitsch, Adomian got the audience, me included, to a point that’s so rare, not just in comedy, but in all art forms, where the audience member/viewer/reader/listener/etc. actually forgets that they are actually voluntarily consuming a performance or a piece. For me, as a comic, I especially enjoyed seeing Adomian deal with these two girls who were erupting in laughter, then found one joke somewhat to their distaste, then instantly get them back on his side. In fact, they were personally praising James for a good 15 minutes after the show. From his observations on gay villains, Sam Elliot advertising Kombucha, to his own “show-biz” story opening for Joan Rivers, Adomian made the term “tour-de-force” seem inadequate in this attempt to describe his performance. As highly respected comedienne/Comedy Bureau favorite Lizzy Cooperman said, “We all have just witnessed something [that we’re privileged to be a part of].” As James Adomian is back in LA for the time being, please check back at the Comedy Bureau for his next performance.

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: "Yeah, I’m gonna go do an open mic on Christmas Eve. Gonna work on my five minutes for this Hollywood Showcase I’m gonna be in. It’s gonna be great. There’s going to be industry there, but, uhhh, do you want to go? I need to bring five people“-Person who wants to do an open mic on Christmas Eve/Escaped Mental Ward Patient. TO ALL YOU HARD WORKING COMICS OUT THERE, ENJOY YOURSELVES FOR A DAY OR TWO, WHY DON’T YOU?

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

5) WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND WANTS TO OPEN FOR PAULIE SHORE IN VEGAS? Anyone? If you are one of those people, Paulie Shore is holding an open online-submission contest to “warm-up” for his show “Vegas is My Oyster” in Vegas with the likes of Charlyne Yi, Bobby Lee, and himself at the Palms Casino. Contest ends Dec. 30th. More details and submissions here.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ADAM SHENKMAN-“Looking for a Wife-FIRST DATE-Episode #5” Adam Shenkman has drawn several comparisons to Andy Kaufman and deservingly so with his absolute, unwavering commitment to whatever he is doing both on and off stage. He’ll be continuing his “Looking for a Wife” series TONIGHT 9PM for FREE in Palm Springs at the Ace Hotel as part of his “Heebonism Christmas Eve Comedy Night”. Though he’s an act not to be missed, Shenkman with all his wild, unexpected antics is an act that’s really hard to miss as he runs a comedy variety show for kids called “The Breakfast Show”. Check at Adam’s website or back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

9) Last night, a girl said the following to me in conversation: Are you funny? I’m not getting funny from you. I was not aware that there was a “funny” detector available to the general public. If anyone knows of one, in, perhaps, a secret section of Brookstone/Skymall, please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with details. Also, if anyone knows of a handheld particle cannon that can vaporize an entire person with one shot, that would be helpful too.

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Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Starting from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this took place within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredible Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

Still can’t really figure out what exactly what the “trick” is, which is why I will definitely go to the next edition of this show and you should too. Trick takes places one Sunday a month at Bordello Bar just East of downtown LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next. one.

2) This is officially the shortest COMEDY CRAWL in the history of the Comedy Bureau and one that you can actually make both shows (well… if you are able to get into the second one that is….) What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Now a message from comedienne Barbara Gray: If you haven’t heard, Casey’s cancelled the open mic because they felt it wasn’t bringing them business. Call Casey’s today and ask them if there is an open mic. Nothing offensive or rude, but I think this is a great way to just show them how many people they are missing out on coming to the bar. (213) 629-2353 is the number. They open at 11:30 am. Please pass this on to comics who may be interested.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is going for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN!!! Raffles a-plenty of food and pieces of Russell’s childhood and some other stuff my sleeve, not to mention, MARIANNE SIERK!!! Come to Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to AMY DRESNER-“@AmyDresner I just wept during an episode of Law & Order: SVU. My meds must be off.” I personally admire Amy for her brutal honesty on stage, which is a laugh riot, and her “bringing the goods” comedy wise every time I’ve seen her live. Check out her website and follow her on Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Started from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this takes places within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredibly Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

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Post Brunch Update 12/19/10

December 19, 2010

Uncategorized

april richardson, biggest mistake, comedy bureau, dan dominguez, dave ross, eli olsberg, jake weisman, jen goldberg, la, matt braunger, morning debriefing, paul jay, take that america, the morning after, this american mistake, this american wife

1) This American Mistake @ Meltdown Comics was a spectacular showcase of why the relatively brand new form of comedy, “the podcast”, has become so wildly popular. Likened more to an actual conversation as opposed to someone telling straight jokes to you, audiences/listeners are eased into a wildly entertaining spectacle in a podcast that’s largely more relatable than straight stand-up or sketch. Last night, The Biggest Mistake,

This American Wife (featuring guests Alie and Georgia mixing tasty libations live),

and The Morning After Podcast (w/guest Gene Frucha, former porn star making a comeback/Eric Martin, the man behind This American Wife)

gave the audience at Meltdown Comics a great display as to the uniqueness and inherent hilarity, not only of the idea of a podcast, but within themselves. With interviews and funny insights into pornography in the Morning After Podcast (Jake Weisman and Eli Olsberg), a fantastic parody of NPR in This American Wife (Eric Martin et al), and the naturally hysterical dynamic between Paul Jay, Dan Dominguez, and Jen Goldberg on the Biggest Mistake, any person in LA and around the world can enjoy some laughs in a new and more personable way. Also, to my own personal delight, accessing these three podcasts will be made even easier as Jen Goldberg announced the birth of an “unstoppable force” of a podcast network, “Take That America”. More details on “Take That America” will be featured here as they come along. In addition to that “podcast trifecta” “performing” last night, this LIVE edition of these podcasts featured some early Christmas treats in special guest stand-up performances from Dave Ross,

April Richardson,

Matt Braunger,

and “the man of the hour” himself: Paul Jay.

Basically, don’t miss out on any of these podcasts and definitely don’t miss out on LIVE editions of podcasts. The Comedy Bureau will try to make sure that doesn’t happen.

2) I can’t stress enough how much tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL in however many dimensions we agree reality is actually represented in will be better than Tron 3D. Start with Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10/$5 children under 12, then Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 7PM $30/2 item min., then Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 7PM $20/2 item min., then Laugh, Drink, Repeat w/Kyle Kinane @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Trick: Part Deux @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, and finish with a warm Christmas hot chocolate and Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv 9PM $15/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) In case you throw your cares about the rain in LA to the wind and missed Maria Bamford on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, it’s on the link before these eight words.

5) The incredibly popular Casey’s Open Mic on Mondays is no longer as is one of the longest running open mics in LA, Michael’s Pub, out in the valley. Please abstain from taking a moment from silence and take comedian/Ogre Mage’s bass player Jeff Watenhofer’s advice: If you do go to Casey’s [or Michael’s] again, please ask about the open mic, and upon hearing it no longer happens, put a $100 bill BACK into your wallet and leave without saying anything.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to STEVE SCHNEIDER-“@stvschndr My faith in humankind cannot survive the fact that people willingly eat at Panda Express.” Insightful and subversive in his writing and performance, Steve Schneider is one of the more clever comics on the LA comedy scene despite him only being booked once this year. Follow him on Twitter and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on where you can see him next.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Harland Williams at the Yuk Yuk’s 25th Anniversary

8) “BAH HUMBUG!!! Donate already!!!”-cheap attempt #24 for donations to the Comedy Bureau. Please donate if you want the “cheap attempts” to stop.

9) Performing, writing, and writing about comedy almost forgot made me about christmas shopping, I mean… thoughtful letter writing to family because I can’t afford Christmas discount prices at Target right now.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/19/10

December 19, 2010

Uncategorized

april richardson, biggest mistake, comedy bureau, dan dominguez, dave ross, eli olsberg, jake weisman, jen goldberg, la, matt braunger, paul jay, take that america, the morning after, this american mistake, this american wife

This American Wife (featuring guests Alie and Georgia mixing tasty libations live),

and The Morning After Podcast

gave the audience at Meltdown Comics a great display as to the uniqueness and inherent hilarity, not only of the idea of a podcast, but within themselves. With interviews and funny insights into pornography in the Morning After Podcast (Jake Weisman and Eli Olsberg), a fantastic parody of NPR in This American Wife (Eric Martin et al), and the naturally hysterical dynamic between Paul Jay, Dan Dominguez, and Jen Goldberg on the Biggest Mistake, any person in LA and around the world can enjoy some laughs in a new and more personable way. Also, to my own personal delight, accessing these three podcasts will be made even easier as Jen Goldberg announced the birth of an “unstoppable force” of a podcast network, “Take That America”. More details on “Take That America” will be featured here as they come along. In addition to that “podcast trifecta” “performing” last night, this LIVE edition of these podcasts featured some early Christmas treats in special guest stand-up performances from Dave Ross,

April Richardson,

Matt Braunger,

and “the man of the hour” himself: Paul Jay.

Basically, don’t miss out on any of these podcasts and definitely don’t miss out on LIVE editions of podcasts. The Comedy Bureau will try to make sure that doesn’t happen.

4) In case you throw your cares about the rain in LA to the wind and missed Maria Bamford on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, it’s on the link before these eight words.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Harland Williams at the Yuk Yuk’s 25th Anniversary

8) “BAH HUMBUG!!! Donate already!!!”-cheap attempt #24 for donations to the Comedy Bureau. Please donate if you want the “cheap attempts” to stop.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/18/10

1) Jokes from the Underground @ The Hollywood Improv Lab is simply the start of something good. Within the bounds of Hollywood where you can literally walk from one comedy venue to another, Jokes from the Underground manages to distinguish itself from just being another straight stand up show as one of the show’s producers Orlando Bishop told me that he wanted to have a show that no matter the circumstances, he and show producer/host Ed Greer would just enjoy the show themselves. The idea of booking a live comedy show based actually on who is legitimately funny and who will actually entertain any audience is seemingly becoming one of those “novel ideas”. Thus, there was a great variety of performers from all of the “sub-scenes” in comedy around LA county and beyond, which, as the show’s name suggests, proves that there are plenty of fantastic comics who don’t have a single TV credit that can “leave the place in a heap of dust” after their set. With such integrity in putting a comedy show together, Orlando and Ed actually got people to fight through traffic, rain, Christmas parties to actually have an audience on this first edition of Jokes from the Underground, which made it for a splendid evening both as an audience member and as one of the performers. Such a notion is yet another “novel concept”. With host Ed Greer living up to his Twitter handle @EdGreerDestroys, the intimate crowd at the Improv Lab enjoyed the likes of Zach Ames, Gabbriella Gatto, Gail Gramlich, Scott Bowser, Orlando Bishop, Charles Allen, Plug McEnroe, Jake Kroeger (yeah, that’s me, if you haven’t figured that out by now), and Paul Danke. It’s a line-up that shouldn’t be missed no matter how “underground” it is. Jokes From the Underground will be on one Friday a month at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL will probably be better than most Christmas gifts I get. This will be especially true if it’s another round of gift baskets from Hickory Farms and the actual bottom of the bargain bin at Best Buy. Start with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to Space Boners Christmas Spectacular @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE, then Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 7PM/9PM $30/2 item min., then Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 7PM/9PM $20/2 item min., then This American Mistake @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 8:30PM $25 SOLD OUT (in case you needed to know), then The Annual Christmas Sweater & Mustache Party @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM Party 10PM Show FREE, then Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., WESTSIDE ECLETIC 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-Up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Trick in LA Times. Seriously. If you were expecting a “PSYCHE!” here, you obviously don’t know what Brandie Posey’s and Emily Maya Mills’ Trick @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE has in store. Read and find out WHY DON’T YA!?!

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic doesn’t take a holiday (mostly because we didn’t land on one). Next Tuesday, we have a special guest performance in THE LOVELY AND UPROARIOUS MARIANNE SIERK!!! Dec. 21st/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Happy Hour until 9PM/You will FEEL empty for the rest of your life if you miss it/not really.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to EDDIE PEPITONE-“@eddiepepitone Greatest achievements- I once made a small lie into a crisis so big that I had to get plastic surgery done and relocate.” Eddie is in consideration nearly every day for a “Tip of the Hat” and it’s no surprise why as he’s one of the funniest people I have ever seen, which is why this is his second “Tip of the Hat”. From him yelling about people in Glendale to doing impressions of lounge singers that have Vietnam flashbacks, LA’s lucky to have Eddie Pepitone around. SO GO CHECK HIS WEBSITE and please, please, please follow him on Twitter.

6) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: Doug Stanhope-This Generation Sucks

7) Wonder where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Follow us/me on Twitter because we don’t have a Comedy Bureau “Light” and if you want one, donate here.

8) Sorry fo any typos that you may read here. In trying towrite and perform and do everything that you need to keep afloat in LA Comedy. I’minalittleofarush sometimes. T’anks for reading.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

1) It’s the nature of any comedy scene that shows come and go, but it’s a real tragedy to see a show put on by great people shut down. In the past week, two such shows, Sweet and Sour Comedy and The Akaaba Presents, reached their end of their runs due to the unfortunate circumstance that the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area is overrun with comedy shows as you can see in the “The Greater LA Comedy Landscape” Map. Abbey Londer (Sweet and Sour Comedy), Jeremy Paul & Joe Braza (The Akaaba Presents) are some of the funniest and best, most decent people I have come to know in LA comedy, but, most venues don’t really care about the intangibles of comedy so much as they care about turning a profit off of a show whether it’s well-produced and truly funny OR abusively-run and hacky. With a city overpopulated with live comedy shows/venues and the predominant perception of live comedy being loud-mouthed, rude, and completely uncouth that relies more on shock and x-rated content than any sort of comedic artistry, getting the average “real” person to a comedy show in LA is almost a miracle. To have things change in LA Comedy, and to even suggest this in times like these requires a serious lack of sanity, is to change people’s perceptions of what comedy really is or at least broaden their idea of it to include smart, insightful humor from incredibly hard-working and talented folks that perform night in and night out mostly for free. Most people aren’t even aware that “we”, (in case you are a real person that hasn’t met me personally, I’m one of “those” comics too) exist and I try to remedy that problem as much as I can through this blog and The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List, but really, I’m only one guy with a laptop, a camera, an iPhone, and some decent material. Perhaps, in the coming year, the Comedy Bureau will grow to a big enough proportion where change can be affected through one fell swoop of me typing so I won’t have to worry about trying to see damn hilarious people like Abbey, Jeremy, and Joe live because their shows ended permanently. Check back here for progress on that front.

2) This entire week’s COMEDY CRAWL is seemingly jam packed before most shows go into hibernation for the holidays, so make sure you catch all the comedy you can before you stuck with a season of a TV show you didn’t want on DVD. Start with Merrillwood Live @ Paul G Gleason Theatre 7PM FREE, then Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 7:30PM $5, then “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour Christmas Special @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then The Nerdist Presents “Comics You Should Know” @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15, then The Long Shot Podcast Season 2 Finale @ The Fake Gallery 8:30PM $5, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, and finish with Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/7PM to 8:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” officially dropped yesterday on AST Records and, yes, you should have picked it up yesterday, but, now, you can make up for that by picking it up today.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT CHAMPAGNE-Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.”
Matt Champagne is simultaneously witty and insightful and then incredibly animated when he takes the stage, which is why he is a favorite of many rooms in LA. You can catch him live tomorrow at A Pint of Funny @ O’Brien’s Pub (2941 Main St., Santa Monica, CA) 8PM and you should never miss his daily thoughts in word form on his blog I Remain Champagne.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Norm MacDonald’s Final Appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

7) I already made a plug for donations above, so…. I’ll just do it again here.

8) An elderly woman a few nights ago softly clasped my forearm and said, “I’m looking for a young Steven Wright.” I did walk away and was shocked by the, at least, 40 years age difference AND the fact she obviously never listened to anything I said because I don’t do one-liners.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

1) The following is a page from one of my various comedy notebooks. I almost forgot that I had written this down, but I’ll just say this is probably something that all of comedians and comediennes go through. Well, I hope so….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is one for the ages, certainly this year, and one that I won’t waste on clever quips and metaphors. LET’S GO to Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH/LAST SHOW EVER @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics w/RSVP), then Pink Door Cancer Fundraiser for Joan Miracle and Linda Gysin @ Harvelle’s Blues Bar 7:30PM $20, then Out West Holiday Extravaganza @ RoosterFish 8PM $5, then Drew Carey and the Improv All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray Best Christmas Nativity Pageant Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $25 (stand by only), then Hamclown 2 @ Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor/The Mezz) 8:30PM FREE, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and if you’re still alive, finish with G-damn Comedy Jam @ Mare’ka 9PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, THE COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

6) As mentioned in the “Open Mic Run” feature above, THERE GON’ BE SOME BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! TONY SAM AND JAMIE LEE GON’ BRING THE PAIN!!! (no structures and/or person/persons shall be harmed during the duration of this open mic) As always, $2 fish tacos, delicious potatoes tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported, and raffles a plenty down at SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JOSH FADEM-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Spinning, whirring, and crashing throughout on any given night on any given stage, Josh Fadem combines a smart sense of humor with the comedic sensibilities of Tex Avery and is quite the treat to see live. That’s why he’s one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch of this year. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show Also, don’t miss him on Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

10) Since none of you got back to me on the idea of wearing a reporter’s fedora when out at the Comedy Bureau, I’ll just go ahead and do it and perhaps suffer the consequences, if there are any, or…. yeah, that’s probably the only thing that’ll happen.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/13/10

1) French Toast @ Taix is the “pleasant surprise” kind of a show. Actually, it’s one hell of a surprise as you are sitting in the lounge of French countryside themed restaurant in Echo Park, Taix, an establishment where comedy might just seem out of place, thinking, “How exactly is this show going to happen?” and then are in for a comedy treat almost in the spirit of the name of the show. Taking cues from comedy venues of the past, French Toast puts on their show right in front of a brick wall with a lovely decorative fireplace and give you a good old fashioned stand-up comedy show with some of the best, trailblazing comics, up n’ coming comics in the country.

Without EVER running too long, host/co-founder Margie Kment

and guest host Heidi Hayward

(co-founder/normal co-host Zach Sherwin could not be in attendance) ensure a tightly run show that proves Margie’s own words of “keep them wanting more.” Last night’s incredibly lucky crowd of both comedy fans and open minded people that stuck around for the show were treated to the likes of comics such as Kyle Kinane (pictured at top), Maria Bamford,

Paul Jay,

Holly Mills,

Nick Thune,

and TJ Miller. Anywhere else in the country, outside of NYC and maybe Chicago, it’s nearly impossible to have a line-up like this in such an intimate venue without charging the audience a single penny to watch the show. In other words, don’t let your Sunday nights in LA drift off in a stupor of watching whatever happens to be on TV, when there’s a great free comedy show. French Toast is on every Sunday at Taix (1911 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA in Echo Park) for FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) While your plans for world domination are still in their formative stages, take a break and go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then go to The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ Puka Bar 8PM FREE, then go to Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, then Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House w/Ed Greer, Levi MacDougall, Matt Peters, Tess Barker, Michael Gelbart, and Rye Silverman (1739 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE, then finish with a “yippee-kay-yea motherfucker” at 1988 Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand-by only)

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/One item min., CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, SECOND CITY HOLLYWOOD 6560 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 9PM/$5, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) RT @thecomedybureau @pauljaycomic suggested wearing some sort of reporters fedora with a press pass sticking out of it when out as the Comedy Bureau. Thoughts?

5) THANK YOU PunchlineMagazine.com: Louis C.K.’s “Hilarious” will debut on Comedy Central on Jan. 9 at 10 pm EST; DVD out Jan. 11. You’re welcome.

6) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is yet invited back again to Little Tokyo (near downtown) Why? Maybe because we have special guests TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!?!? Don’t miss it tomorrow @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA). Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ROBERT YASUMURA- “@teamyasumura At what point does Fox News just come out and condemn Galileo?” Known throughout comedy circles in LA as one of the well-respected hosts of the Westwood Brew Co. open mic on Tues., Robert has been a fixture in the LA Comedy scene for quite some time. Robert takes his incredibly sharp wit and deadpan demeanor from mics across town to through a thousand people’s Twitter feeds and should not be missed by you. Here’s Robert’s website and Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor “Being Cool” on the Ed Sullivan Show

9) Want to guess how long it took to write this post as well as edit all the pictures and do all the research for all the shows and open mics and go through everyone’s twitter, tumblr, and facebook feeds and write this very sentence? Donate to the Comedy Bureau and I’ll tell you if you got it right.

10) As you have already read or will very soon read, this is the 50th post of the Comedy Bureau…. which doesn’t really mean anything other than I’m 50 days past moderate to passable brain-to-common sense cooperation.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/12/10

1) Last night, instead of performing/watching comedy, I was pretty much coerced into going into my mother’s Christmas work party at the Hilton Alhambra (one of the most Asian-centric parts of town) as a form of Christmas family time bonding, which is simultaneously a horrible situation I have no desire of being in AND a great source for material, especially considering the honest, personal approach I take to my act. Knowing that everyone’s process of developing material for performing comedy is drastically different, I’d like to offer a glimpse into my own personal process where I draw directly from personal experience. Listed below is a series of tweets I wrote throughout the duration of the party/death march of boredom/worst quiz I have ever sat through that will probably turn into 1-2 minutes of material (will keep you updated on progress). Perhaps, all of these random 140 characters or less thoughts will become nothing, but, either way, this is where my my comedy writing process starts…

-Surrounded by first generation Asians in the patient care industry. Already feeling uncomfortable. Step 1 complete.
-I don’t know why I checked Asian/Paciic Islander on any application. I don’t relate to any of these people. #jokesomewhere
-I have more in common with the “table 8” sign than all the Asian people here as it doesn’t tell me, “Go to grad school.”
-Currently listening to lounge version of Girl From Impanema, which sounds like the original if it was dosed with Ambien.
-If someone asks if I do jokes about how I’m not an Asian doctor, I would consider them heckling me in conversation
-I’m uncomfortable with how Asian-centric this party is; I feel about as asian as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
-“Go ahead and speak Asian! I wasn’t going to talk to you anyway!” something I want to say at this party.
-Yelling “I’m not Asian for fuck sakes” is a bad idea. Christmas Techno music… a much worst idea.
-Christmas parties like this make me understand why cyanide for human consumption was discovered. #toodark? #dontcare
-Someone who can barely speak English is giving speech; needs translator who speaks “shut the hell up I’m hungry as fuck”
-Knowing how to use chopsticks is about as Asian as I get. #igrewupinamerica #damnit #usausausa
-Phone was nearly dead and thus kept me from sharing my hate of this stupid party with the world.
-in a quiz for a prize in which the answer to why did Scrooge change his mind was because he cared about people #bullshit
-My answer to scrooge’s change of heart: fear of the proletariat rise #yeahimpretentious #ihatethisparty
-In a room full of Asians, the answer to How many planets are there in our solar system was somehow 9. #falsestereotypes
-“Tokyo is the most populated city, bitch and that motherfucker doesn’t deserve a TV.” Christmas brings out the best in us.
-Into hour 5 of this party and I just want to yell racial epithets so I can leave.
-Actual Riddle for TV: Harry died on land and people were happy, David dies on land and people were happier. Who are they?
-Answer to riddle in last tweet: they were typhoons. My answer: Go fuck yourself
-For big screen tv, we’re asked to pick out three distinct items in a picture of a bum and a volunteer. #whyamistillhere
-My next set of answers to this quiz are going to be shenanigans, gobbledygook , and complete and utter bullshit.
-It irks me to think why my Dad ever wonders why I appear to be angry on stage. #6hrparty

2) Going on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is a perfect alternative to going postal on people in the Grove parking structure because you want to show off this year at Christmas. Start off with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10, then Alonzo Bodden @ Brea Improv 7PM $17/2 item min., then Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 7:30PM $14/2 item min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then Please, Thank You, & You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, then The Comedy Crush Bad Sweater Holiday Show @ The Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min., then Sunday Sunday Sunday @ Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Comedy Bureau Calendars is finally updated in full!!! Every single club listed actually goes to there Calendars/Upcoming shows page. All of the minor inconvenience that remained on that list is now completely GONE offering you ease in searching for shows in LA unless clicking is a “big deal” for you.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian I said to him, "so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” After heckling Sam Kinison many years ago, Jackie has never looked back in her vast and successful journey as a comedienne. Touring throughout the world and having been on TV several times, she shares her uproariously funny anecdotes about her dad, her husband, and herself. Thus, do not miss Jackie’s hilarious podcast Dorkforest or her website, blog, or Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Jon Stewart Stand Up (1996)

7) If you read the Twitter feed excerpt from above, I think you’ll agree with me in wanting to donate to the Comedy Bureau. Do so right here.

8) As I stride further and further into comedy, I seem to know less and less “real” people. The “jury” is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing. The Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on my/its sanity.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/11/10

1) In the last few weeks, both Larry King and Steve-O (after working on his act with Dane Cook) have both announced upcoming stand-up comedy tours across the country, which continues a growing trend of people using their fame/celebrity to go on a stand-up comedy tour. Even, John Mayer has been known to “dabble” in stand-up also, though not embarking “on the road”… yet, which would make it seem that the way to “make it” involves staging a bank robbery, getting a show on Food Network as a “reformed convict” that made a new life through finding new ways to deep frying foods that aren’t meant to be fried, and THEN go on a stand up comedy tour as opposed to working on my act at open mics. Too bad, I actually love performing stand up comedy too much to do that.

2) Rather than walking throughout various Best Buys in Los Angeles County looking for that “criterion collection” DVD, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL 2 Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., The Comedy Replacements @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), Jackie Kashian @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., Andy Daly @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $18/2 drink min., Matt Champagne @ Downtown Comedy Club 8PM $10, Comedy Show @ Days Inn Glendale 9PM FREE, Jen Kirman Album Taping @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd. St. Promenade (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Just like yesterday, Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Also, like yesterday, I still can’t afford any of these bids as I’m going to the 99 cents store for the major portion of my Christmas shopping.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to ROB DELANEY-“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, unless that friend FUCKED MY FIANCEE WHILE I WAS IN JAIL, MATT HALL YOU ALCOHOLIC CUNT.” Respected comedian and prolific tweeter Rob Delaney has almost 40,000 followers @robdelaney, which I almost can’t process as I only have 28. You can see Rob live next week at what will be one of the best shows of the week Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH @ Genghis Cohen Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5. Here’s Rob blog and his Twitter yet again.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lewis Black-Starbucks

7) “The Comedy Bureau Donation Box has started collecting dust”-If we could afford a physical donation box. “Tweeted here.”-cheap attempt to gain followers on Twitter.

8) I’m pleasantly surprised that Miley Cyrus being legal and smoking weed is not that big of a trending topic online.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/10/10

1) Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab is where you can see the artistry in comedy at work. As an all “character” live comedy show, all the performers commit wholeheartedly to a persona (hence the name of the show), which range anywhere from "Reverend Boone Turde"…

…to “Jason Nash’s Father-in-Law”…

to Johnny Pemberton as a Tea Party Conspiracy Theorist.

In short, Persona is spectacular in ridding itself of all the conventions of a normal live comedy show that has a very neat structure of a showcase of comics or sketches and making a journey out of the entire experience with performers “interrupting” the show and interacting with the audience. The audience is constantly drawn in with “out-of-the-box” costumes, voices, and are genuinely surprised by the end of any one of the fantastic performances as shown when Host Tony Sam, who also played a plethora of a hilarious characters, choked a puppet of himself. Last night’s audience at the Hollywood Improv Lab got to enjoy the immense talents of Davey Johnson, Johnny Pemberton, Fred Young, Chris Walsh, Jason Nash, and the amazing sounds of Ogre Mage and certainly got more than their $5 worth of entertainment. Persona! will be on every second Thursday of the month at the Hollywood Improv Lab promptly at 8:30PM. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

2) Just because tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is manageable doesn’t mean it’s one to ignore. It simply means that you can actually make it to more of the best live comedy shows in LA. Start off with Laughs Without Liquor @ Plummer Park 6PM/8PM $20, then go to Jackie Kashian @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15, then go to Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ The Palms 9:30PM $10, then end the night on a good note with Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/Contact David Marley for sign up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/12-12/18. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Punchlist Magazine is currently having their Punchlist 2010 which anyone can vote for via Facebook. However, sifting through the nominees might be a bit difficult, so here’s a CHEAT SHEET (I apologize if I seem indecisive on a few of these). Best Stand Up Comedian on TV: Louis CK, Best Comedy Show on TV: Louie OR Modern Family, Best Musical Comedy Act: Garfunkel and Oates OR Reggie Watts, Best Sketch Group: Birds of Prey, Best New Podcast: The Morning After OR The Biggest Mistake, Best Comedy Website: ——–(just pick one as the Comedy Bureau is not on there), Best Tweeter: Eddie Pepitone OR Cornell Reid OR Jim Hamilton, Best Comedy Festival: Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Best Improv Troupes: (pick at your own discretion as I have not been to enough improv shows this year to make an informed decision)

6) The Hollywood Laugh Factory officially broke the record for longest running live comedy show with their Comicthon with an astounding running time of over 80 hours. Finishing around 10:30PM last night, the achievement was supported by the likes of everyone from Dave Chappelle to a fearless Maronzio Vance going up at 5AM. This tops the previous mark made by the Comic Strip in NYC, which I myself will try to top by having a non-stop live comedy show within my own head without admitting myself to a mental ward.

7) Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Bids right now are ranging anywhere from $120 to over a $1000, which immediately puts me out of the running with my “auction budget” of $5.34.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. "Oh, look–another staircase that goes nowhere.” Honored to have him ask me what the name for a labyrinth was and give him another “Tip of the Hat”, Kyle was just featured as one of Comedy Central’s Breakout Comics of 2010. Just don’t ever miss him performing live, especially since you’ll have plenty of opportunities to do so in the next week at French Toast @ Taix Sun. Dec. 12th 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House Mon. Dec. 13th 9PM FREE, Sweet and Sour Comedy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5, Blamblamblam @ R-Bar Tues Dec. 14th 9PM, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics Wed. Dec. 15th 8:30PM $8, and finally Elfin Funny @ The Echo Sat. Dec 18th 7PM $5. Kyle’s Website and Twitter; don’t forget about’em (even though they’re pretty much the same)

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: The Lads-Mike O’Connell and Matt Dwyer, Et Al.

10) If I tweeted more, would I get more donations. It’s a two birds with one stone type of a thing or just a convenient just to say it in one sentence.

11) For those of you waiting for me to be more negative, I have one word for you: March.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/9/10

1) For the sake of LA Comedy, I did 23 minutes at an open mic in Alhambra where I was only supposed to do 10, but was not given the light by anyone including the host, then checked out two shows of the 6 SIMULTANEOUSLY RUNNING shows at the Eagle Rock Comedy Festival, one of which was so rowdy that prompted the tweet, “@thecomedybureau Why can’t Lakers beat down the Clippers like their beating comedy right now?”. I could have ended the night there, but from Long Beach to Alhambra to Eagle Rock, I felt the need to go to the depths of the shadiest parts of Hollywood for one of the best shows in town to end the night properly, “The Jesse Miller Talk Show”. With Ron Babcock, April Richardson, Jason Nash (who brought a REAL homeless man on stage with him), Johnny Pemberton (check him out as the badass host of Megadrive tonight MTV 11PM), and the Jesse Miller Mogul Management crew (Andre Hyland as Jesse Miller, Anna Lee Lawson as Tanya Starlet, Paul Oyen as Daryl, and Matthew Cardapole as the for-hire Elf), the night was emphatically ended with a howl and “straight-up” huge laughs when, as depicted above, there was a contest to throw a real Christmas wreath in attempt to land it on top of Daryl’s head. This comedy sojourn was all for the sake of LA Comedy, which is why at one point in the night, I yelled, “I AM THE COMEDY BUREAU!”

2) Be part of LA Comedy history with the groundbreaking comedy spectacles on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Day 4 of Comicthon @ Hollywood Laugh Factory HAPPENING RIGHT NOW (going for world record for longest running continuous live comedy show) one unwrapped toy, Eagle Rock Comedy Festival @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock & More 8PM FREE, The Comedy Speakeasy @ The TSR Lounge 8PM FREE (call 323-568-1616 to be part of live audience), Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, The Produce Section Show @ 761 Central Ave., Los Angeles, CA 8:30PM FREE (say “produce section” to doorman to get in), and The Last Akaaba Presents @ The Seafood Shack (that isn’t the name of the show; it’s really their last show) 8:30PM FREE, Smug Shift @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, THE SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/must work clean and no material on religion and politics, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) As suggested above, you should never miss Andre Hyland’s Jesse Miller’s Talk Show and now the opportunity to do so is now available. STRAIGHT UP! The Jesse Miller “Straight Up” DVD is now available from Andre Hyland himself featuring over 20 different videos of Jesse Miller and his clients at Mogul Management including clips from their Comedy Central Pilot, Jesse walking around Cincinnati shouting that the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl with the tattoos to prove it, and other ‘Hard as Hell’ videos. Go to source for the “Straight Up” DVD here.

5) Comedic force of nature Mike O’Connell has made a book of his thoughts in poetry form available to the public TO WITNESS HIS MAD GENIUS!!! Please pick up ’Impractical Pocket Poesy’ here.

6) Rooftop Comedy National College Comedy Competition is BACK!!! Coming in spring, the competition will scour 32 different schools to find the best in comedy (categories include Stand Up and Films) all across the U.S. Also, submission is completely FREE! Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to EDDIE PEPITONE: “@eddiepepitone Twitter is God’s way of saying fuck you to the novel.” Eddie is not only a prolific “tweeter”, but to see him live is to experience comedic brilliance like you’ve never seen before. You can actually have the privilege of doing so tonight at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5 (mentioned above) and this Saturday Dec. 11th “Tomorrow w/Ron Lynch” @ Steve Allen Theater (4773 Hollywood Blvd. in Los Feliz) MIDNIGHT $8 or vote for him as the Best Tweeter for Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 via Facebook here. Oh yeah, don’t miss his website and, just in case I haven’t made it quite clear, FOLLOW EDDIE PEPITONE ON TWITTER right here.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Andy Kaufman “I Trusted You”

9) The Comedy Bureau Donation Box is still waiting for a 2nd donation.

10) “Be offensive. Say some racist shit. Be fucking offensive. Fuck it. If someone gets pissed, fuck it.”-Real person that I met two days ago

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/8/10

1) BIG THANKS to everyone who came out to cause some BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO (there’s no intentional reference to Dec. 7th, 1941 here)!!! Thanks once again to the fantastic ABBEY LONDER!!! Next week: We find the girls with green eyes and TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!! WHAT!??!?!? DEC. 14TH. SEÑOR FISH. SIGN UP 6:30PM. STARTS 7PM.

2) COMEDY CRAWL COMICTHON @ Hollywood Laugh Factory HAPPENING RIGHT NOW one unwrapped toy, Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5, “If This Doesn’t Work, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Eagle Rock Comedy Festival @ The York, Coffee Table Lounge, Brownstone Pizzeria, and more 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Riot! @ El Cid 9:30PM $10, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/1 item min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign up (lottery) 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Some regular readers of the Comedy Bureau posts wonder what I’m going to do as a “Year in the Review” since several other comedy news websites are already doing their “Year in Review” posts or countdowns/top 10 lists. Again, one of the goals here at the Comedy Bureau is to get rid of “comedy red tape” and as such, I’m going to make a “Top 10 List of 2010 Comedy Lists” so you don’t have to wonder about which list to actually pay attention to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” NOW available for pre-sale at AST Records. Consider it as one of those “Christmas presents for yourself”, especially if you live alone.

6) Brand Spankin’ New Podcasts are about to drop very soon on Earwolf from none other than Howard Kremer, Drew Droege, and Paul Scheer. I really shouldn’t have to say more than that, but you can indulge yourself in a higher word-count/more details here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan #StoutsGuideToSuicide – Tip 396 – The best day to kill yourself is ALWAYS yesterday.” Now having the select distinction of being one of three people to get another “Tip of the Hat”, Ryan shows why he’s regarded not only one of the fastest rising comics right now, but also why he’s one of the best joke writers in “the biz”. Check him out at his website and follow him on Twitter or suffer the consequences (inquire at thecomedybureau@gmail.com for details on consequences)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Late World w/Zach Galifianakis-Pre-School

9) Some asked why I would do Marty’s from 5PM to 11PM and it’s not because I’m a comedy masochist. I do it so none of you have to go through it in case you ever had the curiosity of what it may be like as you can see on Twitter (look for #martysmarathon). That’s why I ask for donations.

10) Comedy Bureau PSA to the General Public: No comic ever wants feedback in the form of audible comments DURING their set. THIS HAS NEVER BEEN THE CASE. So, please, show your appreciation/disdain in uproarious laughter/silence. This ad has been sponsored by the Comedy Bureau.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/7/10

1) Yesterday, as I said, I went did the Marty’s Marathon, meaning I went up at the same open mic from 5PM to 11PM. Instead of reviewing the whole experience, I’m going to just list all the tweets I had through the duration of the open mic as a “stream of consciousness” primary document to impart what exactly what I went through:
“At Marty’s for comedy open mic march of death. #thisisgoingtobefun #convincinghashtag.”
“Audience/comics that may not listen of 3.”
“Host redoing opening joke”
“I love to hear homeless men fart.” #openmicgenius"
“Host running time by when he finishes his burger”
“People are looking at me while performing like I’m the only audience member because that’s kind of the case.”
“Finished first set at marty’s and I’m thinking already "I’m still here”
“There’s a crowd…. of five….. two of which are actually listening”
“Apparently, I’m not the first one to do Marty’s from 5pm to 11pm. DAMN IT!!!”
“To do material or to depress the shit out of people #openmichamlet”
“You know what happens when I play hard to get? I DON’T GET GOT!” #openmicgenius"
“Sad dick dead dick ad dick dead dick dead dick dead dick happy dick sad dick happy dick dead dick sad dick happy dick”
“People keep think I’m texting. If only they knew what I was really doing.”
“Got set number 2 in and got three awwwwws. #imstillhere”
“Almost 8pm and have not gotten up 3 times at Marty’s or had more than 3 "audience members”.
“Oh, and looks like I went with ”…to depress the shit out of people" #openmichamlet #reallythoughigotsomelaughs"
“I’m addicted to cleaning my ears… It’s ear sex.” #openmicgenius"
“3hr 38 min mark, still waiting to go up third time.”
“What do you want from me?!?!??!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??????????”
“Hour 4, still waiting for set number 3”
“3 people and the remnants of a person on stage left here at Marty’s”
“13 minutes for third set at marty’s for three people”
“10 min. conversation with host on stage in between comics.”
“In hour 5, still here with three other people”
“Just did 4 sets at Marty’s and it’s 11. FUCK.”
“6 hours for 35 min. of stage time, though still feel empty. #maybethatsjustme”

2) While waiting to see how long the Laugh Factory Comicthon will last or the judgment on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange you should probably go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’ll be better for your life in general. Start off with Sataristas Live @ Actor’s Gang 7PM Pay-what-you-can, then Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge @ Red Rock 8PM FREE, then This is Not Happening Presents: This Year in Review @ Hollywood Improv Lab $5/2 drink min., then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, then Three’s Comedy 5 Year Anniversary @ Three of Clubs 9PM FREE, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5, then finish with Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, then BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! ABBEY LONDER!!! $2 FISH TACOS!!! SURPRISE RAFFLES!!! $3 DOMESTIC/$4 IMPORTED BEER!!! Oh yeah, you can literally walk to Holy Fuck after this. (details above)

5) The Hollywood Laugh Factory has already set out to gain the world record of longest running continuous live comedy show, which is apparently 50 hours, with COMICTHON while simultaneously accepting toy donations for the Children’s Hospital and will run for a few days this week. It has been advertised that Dave Chappelle will go up at some point, but there’s no indication as to when he will perform or when Dane Cook will go up. Check 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA at your own pleasure/peril.

6) “Special Case Mention” from friend of the Comedy Bureau’s Hasan Minhaj-If you’ve ever considered doing standup comedy understand that you’ll have to be able to follow this. This is real: http://yfrog.us/nfnu8z

7) Maria Bamford has already played one living room earlier this year. Make the next living room she plays YOURS!!! Auction for a private performance from Maria Bamford here. All proceeds go the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN-“@lizzycooperman "Peaks and valleys, man. It’s all about peaks and valleys.” – a depressed person summing up life, or the book “Let’s Go Afghanistan”. Yet another repeat “Tip of the Hat” winner, Lizzy is quite simply a privilege to watch with her furiously smart and swift jokes and should never be missed. Don’t miss Lizzy tomorrow at Riot @ El Cid $10 4212 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA, The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA, and with her fabulous sketch group Birds of Prey at Please, Thank You, You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8:30PM. Also, be sure to check out Lizzy’s website and absolutely follow her on Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: “Hello There” A film by Louis CK

10) Forget about whether it ‘tis the season or not… The Comedy Bureau needs your support. Please donate here, if you are willing and able/decent person.

11) RT @Kabelion Based on comedy centrals 10 best comics of 2010, this year was the weakest year in comedy since Gallagher 1 was the biggest thing going.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/6/10

1) Most comics in Los Angeles find that they can only get up once a night. Some of the more dedicated comics hustle out to do two spots in one night, then the hardest workers I find can do about four in one night, if there’s the opportunity to. Tonight, for benefit of the LA comedy community, the Comedy Bureau is going to go up about 8 times, possibly even more, by performing at Marty’s/The Open Mic from 5PM to 11PM to let you know what it’s like without you ever having to try it. Marty’s is an open mic that allows performers, after they pay the $5 cover, to go up as many times as they want/feel is necessary/can handle. You can follow this journey into what very well might be a productive night of comedy OR comedy purgatory bordering on the tips of the flames of comedy hell on Twitter right here.

2) Nice and easy seems to be theme of tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with all of the weekly shows regularly listed here in full effect (NOT TO MENTION THAT ALL OF THIS COSTS JUST $5) Start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then Comedy Show @ The Cherry Pit 9PM FREE, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, and I’m sure you’ll have enough money to finish off the night at Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 and be able to get home.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts “around” 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Louis CK was on the Tonight Show. I didn’t get to watch it live because I was performing at an AA room, but I watched parts 1-3 of the interview here, here, and here.

5) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is back for PART 5!!! Tomorrow night’s very, incredibly, special guest: ABBEY LONDER!!! Oh yeah, don’t forget $2 fish tacos and raffles galore (meaning probably 3). Tues. Dec. 7th @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT KNUDSEN “@matt_knudsen I love reindeer. They are delicious.” Armed with his incredibly astute, sharp one-liners and his remarkably delightful low-key presence, Matt Knudsen not only gets to entertain all around Los Angeles, but is regularly featured on several TV shows including, most recently, Detroit 1-8-7 and Men of a Certain Age. He just released an album, “The Comedic Stylings of Matt Knudsen”, which you should definitely buy and can be seen live this week at the “Toys for Tots Benefit” @ Hudson Mainstage Wed. Dec. 8th and improv group “The Waterbrains” @ The Westside Comedy Theatre“ Fri. Dec. 10th $10. Do not forget to check out his website and follow him on Twitter.

7) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Sam Kinison’s First Appearance on Letterman

8) I’m doing basically an entire 12 hour day for LA Comedy today. Please donate (cash donations in person accepted as Tumblr is down).

9) Tumblr can’t stop the Comedy Bureau, but many near and dear friends tell me “dating a woman” would probably do the trick. I’ll guess we’ll have to find out….

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/5/10

1) The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre is actually the first pure sketch show to be reviewed here at the Comedy Bureau and I’d be hard pressed to find a better one to start off with. Interestingly enough, as the consistently hilarious host Brody Stevens left the stage after warming up the packed-to-standing-room-only UCB Theatre, I realized that I had not seen a sketch-only comedy show in quite some time, which, after last night’s Midnight Show, is something I am hoping to correct if it all possible. The collection of furiously swift sketches had this great absurdity about them that, as the show progressed, made me drawn in even further as an audience member to where exactly they were headed. One of my favorite sketches of the night that illustrates this perfectly was a fake TV spot for a futon store where sensational Hal Rudnick started off yelling why you would need to buy futon with a voiceover saying, “Futon!” at the end of each sentence, but quickly devolved into Hal making increasingly disturbing suggestions of not going “missionary” on a “Futon!” as that will break her pelvic bone “Futon!” With a fantastic cast of Nic Wegener, Hal Rudnick, James Pumphrey, Stephanie Allynne, Jeff Sloniker, Curtis Rainsberry, and Cale Hartmann, the Midnight Show startles and jolts in the best way possible on a very late Saturday night/early Sunday morning with sketches and video clips with the deft producing of Michael Busch and Megan Reeves and the superb, discerning direction of Joe Wagner. The Midnight Show is on the first Saturday of every month at the UCB Theatre (5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA) at Midnight and only costs $5.

2) If you’re not watching Tangled this weekend, you should go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. However, if you are watching Tangled this weekend, you DEFINITELY need to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start off with Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10/$5 for under 12, then Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then French Toast: MC Mr. Napkins CD Release Party @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, and be glad that you didn’t support 3D.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HAHA CAFE 5010 N. Lankershim Blvd., N. Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6PM, PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STOP BEING A F’N SHUT IN AND GO SEE AMAZING WORLD OF ITS OWN THAT LA IS!!!! OK, if that didn’t work, you can watch Comedy Central’s Hot List at 10PM on Comedy Central featuring their top breakout comedians of this year which includes plenty of good folks featured regularly at the Comedy Bureau including Kyle Kinane, Reggie Watts, and Chelsea Peretti, that is, if you still insist on being a shut-in.

5) How about that? Merrill Davis in LA Weekly. That’s MERRILL DAVIS in LA WEEKLY! (Look, I typed it out twice so click the link and read it, OK?)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan I’ve been sexually harassing this woman and I’m worried because I don’t think she knows about it. #LayingItOnThin #TooSubtle” Forget about his Comedy Central Presents special, his frequent appearances on Chelsea Lately, and other spots on TV, Ryan is one of the sharpest writers I know throughout all of LA and just “crushes” audiences wherever he goes (got an applause break at my open mic) all in a very dapper suit. Here’s his website and please follow him on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Henny Youngman heckles Milton Berle 1966

8) “Reason #3,212 to DONATE the Comedy Bureau: (imagine you being hypnotized) Because you wanted to.” Just tweeted this right here.

9) People wonder why I’m so positive and upbeat in this blog for the majority of it. To those people, I say, “You should see my act sometime.”

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Morning Debriefing 12/4/10

1) ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS (part 1), the Comedy Bureau would like to educate the general public that heckling is not a behavior that is in ANY way acceptable no matter what your set of circumstances you happen to be coming from. It’s not a way to make the show more fun or as some “brilliant” people I’ve overheard say, “I’m helping them.” At a comedy show, as an audience member, you are meant to sit and keep quiet and listen OR if you’re not into what’s being said, have enough respect for the person on stage trying to perform their act in what is (surprise surprise people that don’t think so) one of the hardest art forms ever conceived. There is a discrepancy when the show is at a venue where the audience did not come for the show, but simply to hang out at a bar with their friends and are subsequently being “subjected” to comedy. Even in this case, you always have the option of not listening. With that all being said, if you are a person who came to see the show WITH THE INTENTION of heckling, you are UNDENIABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. In last night’s case, I had to deal with one of these “I am Heckler” types and realized that there’s a sadistic nature about the whole exchange. This person wants me to fail, to see me unravel as a performer, as if that is the way he will feel good about himself (sidenote: I don’t unravel. I deal with it and if you push me far enough, I’ll verbally rip you into enough shreds for confetti at New Year’s; ask Bobby Kern). As the show was at an “AA room”, I had reasoned that the guy felt like he earned the “privilege” to heckle as he was in AA and had as a common phrase among that crowd “been through a lot of shit”. Especially since the show was formatted to follow the AA meeting and we, the comedians, were not holding anyone “hostage”, I don’t care if you just came from a funeral; If you came to see the show, then simply don’t heckle. As comedians, whether we do this for a living or not, this is “work” for us and I will never go to the business where you are currently employed and say, “Did they warn you about us?” This concludes Part 1 of ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS.

2) Steve-O is still headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend for whatever reason. For those of you that like to retain brain cells/your soul, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers YooHoo 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8PM $25, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5/21 and over, The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only), then Tomorrow!!! w/Ron Lynch presents Crapshoot! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8, and finish the night with your fist raised in the air a la John Carlos for supporting comedy that actually comedy, then actually good.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ICE HOUSE OPEN AUDITIONS 24 N. Mentor Ave./Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd St. and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM./3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Good news for all decent people around the world that aren’t the aforementioned “I am Heckler” types: Matt Braunger along with Brent Forrester (writer/producer on The Office) has just gotten a pilot order from Comedy Central!!! Check out more details here and the Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on its progress in development.

5) The wonderful duo of Garfunkel and Oates are both amazing and delightful. However, I think they would be amazing, delightful, and life-changing if they performed in my living room. I can’t afford that, but maybe you can by auctioning for a private show from Garfunkel and Oates right here. This is life-changing because it’s Garfunkel and Oates in the privacy of your own home AND all proceeds go to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HAMILTON-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim Hamilton gets the distinction of being the first person to get a second “Tip of the Hat” and with all of the beyond clever one-liners he has, Jim definitely deserves it. You can see him perform live and for FREE at one of the best shows in town this Tuesday, Dec. 7th at Holy Fuck! in the Downtown Independent Theatre (251 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA) 9PM. I’ll probably say this several times throughout the course of the life of the Comedy Bureau: follow Jim Hamilton on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Bill Hicks’ Worst Gig Ever

8) If you missed the tweeting storm the Comedy Bureau had last night, check it out “open mic genius” quotes, etc. here and then donate because I drove from Long Beach to East LA to Fullerton to Garden Grove to Hollywood and back to Long Beach for comedy meaning all of you.

9) So in just over a month, 104 people like The Comedy Bureau on Facebook, 64 people follow The Comedy Bureau on Twitter, and 43 people follow us/really just me on Tumblr. Thanks everyone for reading and all the support because it’s only going to get better (especially if I make any money at this).

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Post Brunch Update 12/3/10

1) The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubtisch made me so incredibly glad that I didn’t drop $60 on watching Louis CK at the Gibson Amphitheatre last night. From top to bottom, The Josh and Josh Show transcends all stereotypes of the “comedy bar show” even though its located at the very posh Bar Lubitsch. Set perfectly in a back room that’s gorgeously decorated in an almost nostalgically vaudevillian, but very chic leaning sensibility, show producers/hosts/performers/entertainer extraordinaries Josh Haness and Joshua Weinstein make you forget that you’re one in the hippest bars in LA because they have the vibe of all those great warehouse parties that I never went to in college going on right from the start. The back room was packed to standing room only with people that WANTED to watch the show, which always makes for a great rapport between the comedians and the audience. Thus, I got that great feeling that all artists get when watching an exhibition within their own medium: I forgot that I was actively watching comedy and simply enjoyed listening to whatever was being said. Last night’s extremely lucky audience got to enjoy the immense talents of Margot Leitman, Jan Davidson, Marianne Sierk, Rick Shapiro, Mike O’Connell, Joshua Weinstein, and Matt Braunger all under the amazing umbrella of host Josh Haness. That’s seriously a line-up that we all should pay money for, but, another great aspect of the Josh and Josh Show is that it’s completely free. Also, there’s a dance party afterwards with enough good looking singles to go around for everyone. The Josh and Josh Show is definitely “Bureau Approved” and would be even more so if could come up with something to distinguish it as so. The Josh and Josh Show takes place every Thursday in Bar Lubtisch (7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA) at 8:30PM.

2) “It’s a good day for comedy”-What everyday should be. Make it so with a COMEDY CRAWL starting with YooHoo Friday @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (Stand-by only), then Comics and Comics @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Ho Ho HOliday Hilarity @ Lineage Performing Arts Center 8PM $15, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 8:30PM $5, then The Ghetto Bird Social Club @ Bridenstine’s Place 9PM FREE, then Say Something Funny Bitch Holiday Extravaganza and Charity Event @ Malo 9PM $10, then finish a fantastic night with Stood Up Friday Night!: TSA Patdowns @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY BAPTIST CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/Must work clean, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) ON THE AIR/OFF THE QT-Louis CK on the Tonight Show 11:35PM NBC.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/5-12/11. It’s all in the name. Thanks Wisepix.

6) Host of ‘Comics Unleashed’/Entertainment Studios Head Byron Allen just announced a brand new show up for debut “Who Wants to Date a Comedian?”, which, first off, seems like it should be called “How Most Comedians Get Their Material” or “Why Do Most Comedians Hate Themselves?”. Secondly, this feels like all those seasons of “Last Comic Standing” when contestants were put through embarrassing challenges like having to write jokes in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond then perform a few hours later. Does TV even know what “comedy” is anymore? More evidence for the side of “not a fucking clue” keeps piling up everyday.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to JOE WAGNER-“When a man and a woman love each other very much… they often fuck it all up.” I called Joe Wagner a legend once and he said I was insane, which is what I think a legend would say. Either way, Joe has been in the “industry” for a long time working alongside with the likes of Zach Galifianakis on “Late World with Zach”. Currently, he writes/performs/walks all around LA, dazzling folks with completely “being in the moment” (i.e. chasing a man off stage and getting an applause break while doing so). Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on Joe’s next show and/or stroke of genius.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Burr gives a Philly a talking too… Part One and Part Two.

9) I’ll be performing at an “AA room” tonight. That’s right comedy show after an AA meeting. Oddly enough, I’ve done this show before and bombed and, ironically, am going back to this AA room for redemption. Read all about on the Comedy Bureau’s Twitter and donate for all the driving involved as it seems going to Garden Grove is almost like going to Mars, that is, if Mars was comprised of industrial parks.

10) Literally tried to “out-depress” another comic and won, which brought them up, but reminded me that I still got drunk in the dark while listening to Gregorian Chants. Oh well… (I’m fine guys… really)

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