holy fuck

Do Not Miss The Last ‘Holy Fuck’ and ‘Powerviolence’

comedy shows, holy fuck, los angeles, powerviolence, swan song

Over the next few days, two of LA’s most popular independently produced comedy shows Holy Fuck and Powerviolence are ending their weekly runs at their respective venues, The Downtown Independent Theater and Strait Jacket Society. We’ve enjoyed what the shows have both done and how they’ve grown to be institutions in the LA comedy scene.

Don’t miss your chance to catch these shows once more in all their comedic marvel.

Powerviolence’s last show is this Sunday, June 30th at 9PM at Strait Jacket Society and Holy Fuck’s last show is the Tuesday, July 2nd at 9PM at Downtown Independent Theater.

Only 4 Chances Left To Catch Holy Fuck

end, holy fuck, live comedy, los angeles, rory scovel

Only 4 Chances Left To Catch Holy Fuck

One of LA’s best live comedy shows, carefully built and curated over years by Dave Ross and Jeff Wattenhofer is unfortunately coming to an end. They made an album, went to a comedy festival, and accomplished so many great things on top of getting hundreds of people to see live comedy in Los Angeles (Downtown Los Angeles, no less). Congratulations to them and everyone that was a part of the show.

So, there will be four more shows of theirs to catch including tonight’s show where the hysterical Rory Scovel will be doing an hour. Fortunately, the show is being handed off to Austin Wolf-Sothern, Jay Weingarten, Doug Freedman, Travis Rust, and Ryan Schumaker and will be called Sleepaway Camp, so we don’t have to worry about having comedy at the Downtown Independent Theater on Tuesdays.

The ‘Holy Fuck. Live Comedy.’ Is Now Available To Buy, So Just Go Ahead and Do Exactly That

comedy album, holy fuck, rooftop

The ‘Holy Fuck. Live Comedy.’ Is Now Available To Buy, So Just Go Ahead and Do Exactly That

If you even enjoy it half as much as we did when we attended the tapings, you’ll be thrilled that you bought the Holy Fuck live comedy album featuring some of the best comedians, both established and rising through the ranks (Sean Patton, Kyle Kinane, Dave Ross, Hasan Minhaj, Lizzy Cooperman, Dave Ross, Eric Andre, Dana Gould, and much more), in LA and from around the country and be laughing and doubling over plenty.

So buy it and listen on repeat already.

‘Holy Fuck. Live Comedy.’ Album Now Available for Pre-Order

comedy album, double album, holy fuck, los angeles, rooftop comedy

One of LA’s best live comedy shows, Holy Fuck, recorded an album this year and it’s finally coming out with all its hysterics in a double CD. Over 40 tracks featuring the likes of the very funny Sean Patton, Moshe Kasher, Kyle Kinane, James Adomian, Beth Stelling, Eric Andre, Lizzy Cooperman, Matt Braunger, Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Buteau, Jackie Kashian, Rory Scovel, TJ Miller, Holy Fuck creators Dave Ross & Jeff Wattenhofer, and much much more recorded live at Holy Fuck’s home, The Downtown Independent Theater.

We were there for the tapings and it was pretty great. You should pre-order this now in either Deluxe Box Set, CD, or Digital Album, now from Rooftop Comedy for when it comes out next week.

Morning Debriefing 6/23/11

1) Louis CK on the Tonight Show-Parts 1–2–3

2) If you’re staying in tonight, you will be watching Futurama on Comedy Central 10PM and Louie on FX 10:30PM, then Nick Kroll on Conan 11PM TBS.

3) Best part of Thursday? Taco Eating Contest on the Compatish

4) Coupling with going weekly, the comedy show, Holy Fuck has a brand new slick website… check out HolyFuckComedy.com

5) Rob Corddry on Conan already using a Tracy Morgan reference.

6) So Ron Howard is making a live action Spy vs. Spy happen… [via Deadline]

7) If you’ve never been to Tony Sam’s Persona, you need to go. It’s groundbreaking and hilarious, but why have us tell you with words when you can see a video?

8) FYF Fest is giving away tickets!!! (it’s mostly music, but as they’ve advertised at the bottom right hand corner of their flyer, there is stand-up comedy scheduled)

9) For the entirety of next week, the whole Bureau will be up in Portland, OR on “vacation” (interpret that how you will). Do not worry as we will continue posting and tweeting during our stay, but we won’t be able to circle our Twitter feed like a vulture with nothing better to do to find all the great bits of comedy news and shows, etc. that you’re all probably used to. If you have a tip for a story, something to be possibly posted here, or a possible mention/plug of a show, e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com or tweet us @thecomedybureau.

10) Puddin’-“Slants”

11) ON THE HORIZON
The Super Serious Show with Greg Proops @ Smashbox Studios Thurs. July 21st 7PM $15

12) COMEDY CRAWL
This Feels Terrible @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
This Is Not Happening @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/2 item min.
6 Degrees @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5
Gonzo 4: Born this Gonzo @ Club L 8PM FREE
Carnyville @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
Tom Segura @ Irvine Improv 8PM $15/2 item min.
Kyle Dunnigan @ Comedy & Magic Club 8PM $15/2 item min.
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Hamclown! @ Alexandria Hotel 8:30PM FREE
Comedy Palace @ The Palace Restaurant 9PM FREE
Skurtch Sketch w/the Midnight Show @ Moving Arts Theater 9PM FREE
Nick Kroll & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 9PM $25
Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Sweet Sweet Standup @ M Bar 10PM $10
Rest in Peace @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE
Yassir Lester Day @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5

13) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM/lottery/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary

14) It took five (or ten, not really sure) cups of coffee to get through this post. You’re all welcome.

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Morning Debriefing 6/16/11

1) Rooftop Comedy’s Silver Nails 2011: The Best in Underground Comedy features some names that need to be known. Among them, Karl Hess, Ron Funches, Emily Heller, Beth Stelling, Andy Sanford, and more!!! Pick it up now.

2) New episode of Compatish-a game show’s game show with special guest Kyle Kinane!!!

3) Tonight on the small screen: Kyle Kinane on Conan 11PM TBS and Larry David on the Tonight Show NBC 11:35PM. Great stand-up and what is sure to be an interview to remember…

4) Can’t wait for Al Yankovic’s Alpocalypse? Don’t.

5) One of LA’s best comedy shows Holy Fuck is now EVERY TUESDAY!!! Starting July 5th, you’ll be at the Downtown Independent Theater at 9PM. Trust me, you will.

6) Jimmy Pardo in Time Out New York

7) Dave Chappelle Might Have a New Show. (Yes, we already posted this, but we think deserves a second mention, don’t you?) [via theDaily]

8) The FYF Fest in Downtown LA has “stand-up comedy”!!!

9) Crying in Public w/Casey Wilson, June Diane Raphael, Josh Fadem, Drew Droege, Eddie Pepitone, Kulap Vilaysack, Paul Rust, Kate Comer, Sean Conroy, Morgan Walsh, Ryan Perez, Tig Notaro, and whole bunch more funny folks just bawling out in the open. Trust us, I know it sounds sad (or maybe it doesn’t and you have a dark sense of humor like we do), but either way you’ll laugh.

Crying in Public from Casey Wilson

10) Channel 101, one of the best short film competitions ever, is in the news (beyond here, that is)!!! Check out articles at Turnstyle and NPR.

11) Whether you’re aware of it or not, Futurama’s almost back on the air and good as ever. Have doubts? Check out the clip below.

12) ON THE HORIZON
Andrés Du Bouchet’s Center for the Performing Arts @ Bootleg Theater June 29th 8PM $8

13) COMEDY CRAWL
Toby Huss Boozebag Revue @ The Fedora Room 7PM $15
The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $15
Thai Rivera Album Release @ Ontario Improv 8PM $15/2 item min.
An Intimate Evening with Jeff Garlin @ The Comedy Store Belly Room 8PM $5/2 item min.
Jackie & Judy: Looking For Good Dick @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand by only)
Comedy 90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5
Comedy Speakeasy @ the Loft 8PM FREE
Cookin’ With Gas @ Groundlings 8PM $18
Sarah Silverman & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 8:30PM $25
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
The Chicken & The Fetus @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $8
School Night @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Comedy Slice @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10PM $5
Live! at Carnegie Hall @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE
The 11th Hour Show @ ArtWorks Theatre 11PM FREE

14) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
ZAPATA VIVE 101 S. First Ave., Arcadia, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/20 spots available/5 min.
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary

15) Our dear friend and hilarious comedian Jeremy Paul is posting a personal ad, “Perpetually SBM. 32. 6 feet tall. Intellectual. Comedian. Pervert. Seeking adult female. 18 to 80. Blind, crippled and/or crazy okay. For relationship or FWB. Disease free a must. No Herp.” Any takers?

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

Report 00074

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

Report 00071

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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Morning Debriefing 12/7/10

1) Yesterday, as I said, I went did the Marty’s Marathon, meaning I went up at the same open mic from 5PM to 11PM. Instead of reviewing the whole experience, I’m going to just list all the tweets I had through the duration of the open mic as a “stream of consciousness” primary document to impart what exactly what I went through:
“At Marty’s for comedy open mic march of death. #thisisgoingtobefun #convincinghashtag.”
“Audience/comics that may not listen of 3.”
“Host redoing opening joke”
“I love to hear homeless men fart.” #openmicgenius"
“Host running time by when he finishes his burger”
“People are looking at me while performing like I’m the only audience member because that’s kind of the case.”
“Finished first set at marty’s and I’m thinking already "I’m still here”
“There’s a crowd…. of five….. two of which are actually listening”
“Apparently, I’m not the first one to do Marty’s from 5pm to 11pm. DAMN IT!!!”
“To do material or to depress the shit out of people #openmichamlet”
“You know what happens when I play hard to get? I DON’T GET GOT!” #openmicgenius"
“Sad dick dead dick ad dick dead dick dead dick dead dick happy dick sad dick happy dick dead dick sad dick happy dick”
“People keep think I’m texting. If only they knew what I was really doing.”
“Got set number 2 in and got three awwwwws. #imstillhere”
“Almost 8pm and have not gotten up 3 times at Marty’s or had more than 3 "audience members”.
“Oh, and looks like I went with ”…to depress the shit out of people" #openmichamlet #reallythoughigotsomelaughs"
“I’m addicted to cleaning my ears… It’s ear sex.” #openmicgenius"
“3hr 38 min mark, still waiting to go up third time.”
“What do you want from me?!?!??!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??????????”
“Hour 4, still waiting for set number 3”
“3 people and the remnants of a person on stage left here at Marty’s”
“13 minutes for third set at marty’s for three people”
“10 min. conversation with host on stage in between comics.”
“In hour 5, still here with three other people”
“Just did 4 sets at Marty’s and it’s 11. FUCK.”
“6 hours for 35 min. of stage time, though still feel empty. #maybethatsjustme”

2) While waiting to see how long the Laugh Factory Comicthon will last or the judgment on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange you should probably go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’ll be better for your life in general. Start off with Sataristas Live @ Actor’s Gang 7PM Pay-what-you-can, then Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge @ Red Rock 8PM FREE, then This is Not Happening Presents: This Year in Review @ Hollywood Improv Lab $5/2 drink min., then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), then Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, then Three’s Comedy 5 Year Anniversary @ Three of Clubs 9PM FREE, then Hot Toddy @ iO West 11PM $5, then finish with Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, then BACK HOME IN LAHAINA 519 Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! ABBEY LONDER!!! $2 FISH TACOS!!! SURPRISE RAFFLES!!! $3 DOMESTIC/$4 IMPORTED BEER!!! Oh yeah, you can literally walk to Holy Fuck after this. (details above)

5) The Hollywood Laugh Factory has already set out to gain the world record of longest running continuous live comedy show, which is apparently 50 hours, with COMICTHON while simultaneously accepting toy donations for the Children’s Hospital and will run for a few days this week. It has been advertised that Dave Chappelle will go up at some point, but there’s no indication as to when he will perform or when Dane Cook will go up. Check 8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA at your own pleasure/peril.

6) “Special Case Mention” from friend of the Comedy Bureau’s Hasan Minhaj-If you’ve ever considered doing standup comedy understand that you’ll have to be able to follow this. This is real: http://yfrog.us/nfnu8z

7) Maria Bamford has already played one living room earlier this year. Make the next living room she plays YOURS!!! Auction for a private performance from Maria Bamford here. All proceeds go the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN-“@lizzycooperman "Peaks and valleys, man. It’s all about peaks and valleys.” – a depressed person summing up life, or the book “Let’s Go Afghanistan”. Yet another repeat “Tip of the Hat” winner, Lizzy is quite simply a privilege to watch with her furiously smart and swift jokes and should never be missed. Don’t miss Lizzy tomorrow at Riot @ El Cid $10 4212 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA, The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA, and with her fabulous sketch group Birds of Prey at Please, Thank You, You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8:30PM. Also, be sure to check out Lizzy’s website and absolutely follow her on Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: “Hello There” A film by Louis CK

10) Forget about whether it ‘tis the season or not… The Comedy Bureau needs your support. Please donate here, if you are willing and able/decent person.

11) RT @Kabelion Based on comedy centrals 10 best comics of 2010, this year was the weakest year in comedy since Gallagher 1 was the biggest thing going.

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Post Brunch Update 11/23/10

1) Just like “Depression-a-palooza”, “Can You Tell If I’m Kidding? Comedy Show” @ The Edge of the Roof of a 13 Story Parking Garage was also a notable failure. None of that matters though as BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO is TONIGHT! Well, as much trouble as comedy, japanese snack foods, $2 fish tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported beer, and Russell Corona and I can cause… Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown).

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is not only a big one with some KICKASS shows, but it’s also incredibly easy on the wallet (i.e. you won’t have to eat at Taco Bell tonight). Don’t believe me? try Sweet and Sour Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5/Free for comics, then Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand-by only), then Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 8:30PM FREE, HOLY FUCK! ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Liquid Courage @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min, then finally WitStream LIVE @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, and go eat a steak because you can afford it (unless you’re really poor like me and buy food with change).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo (near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour HAVE BEEN EXTENDED. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) As I mentioned, Schtick or Treat was one of the best times I had at comedy show, especially since I got to the privilege to perform. If you missed this amazing once-a-year comedy extravaganza, check out all the highlights right here.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Andrew Dewitt. Andrew posted a video of him opening an “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: Collector’s Edition Box Set” alone in a basement on his birthday… IN 3 PARTS. It’s pretty damn fantastic, check it here. Andrew came up through the stand up comedy ranks in Chicago and now made his way here in Los Angeles performing all around town. Check out his awesome blog Dorksplosion here.

7) As people constantly ask me, “How do I get ‘Tip of the Hat’ from the Comedy Bureau?” I’ll let you know exactly how I run this fancy little operation. Everyday, I check Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr for tweets, status updates, videos, blog quotes, etc. for the best little gems in comedy in LA. Going from Midnight to Midnight in a single day, I make a short list and then, from there, determine who gets the “Tip of the Hat” and is featured here at the Comedy Bureau along with their twitter, website, blog, etc. So, if you want a “Tip of the Hat”, get to tweeting, facebooking, blogging, youtubing, etc. because I’ll be on the lookout (as I slowly realize that I have less and less of a life). Also, any “Tips of the Hat” will be permanently placed in the “Tip of the Hat Archive” which I just created right here.

8) I know you guys love the blog as much as I love writing it, so give me the opportunity to MAKE IT EVEN BETTER by donating here.

9) Back to LIVE TWEETING and actually going out. Check out if my new “Social Network” material works out here.

10) The Comedy Bureau stats: 92 people like it on Facebook, 49 followers on Twitter, and 30 followers on Tumblr. Only 499,999,829 people to take down Facebook, or at least I think so.

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Daily Report 11/12/10

1) Holy Fuck! @ The Downtown Independent Theatre deservedly earned it’s name last night. Despite it being on a night that it isn’t usually scheduled on, the presence of the Downtown LA Artwalk, another live stand up comedy show also in Downtown LA, Holy Fuck! told the odds to go seriously FUCK themselves as an entire movie theatre (over 100 people) showed up to see some of LA’s heaviest hitters in comedy. In fact, show producer/awesome comedian/all around great guy Dave Ross proves that, if done correctly, you can make a great comedy show in a completely non-traditional comedy venue at the ultra-hip Downtown Independent Theatre. When Louis CK dropped in a few months ago, he pointed out the high ceilings, the deep stadium seating, and several other obstacles comedians would have to fight while perform and got HUGE LAUGHS will doing it. On this edition of Holy Fuck!, the huge crowd that told the artwalk to fuck off were almost spoiled with performances from cross-dressing/straight-man (you read that right)/host for the evening Rye Silverman, Zach Ames, Ed Salazar, Susan Burke, Howard Kremer, musical duo Limo Driver, Dave Ross, Laura Kightlinger, and the one and only (and the Comedy Bureau uses that phrase sparingly) Eddie Pepitone. OH, DID I MENTION IT’S FREE?!? It’s a completely free show that you should never miss on pain of kicking yourself in the face. Holy Fuck! is usually on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. 9PM. HOLY FUCKING FREE! @ Downtown Independent Theatre 251 S. Main St. Stay tuned here for details.

2) Hopefully the COMEDY CRAWL will put the Artwalk to shame. We can start off to that goal tonight by going to Ron Lynch @ Flappers Yoo Hoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., then go to Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then go to Race Riot @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5, then go to Garfunkel & Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre $10 (stand by only), then go to 10 Comics in the Lounge @ Comedy and Magic Club 8:15PM $10, then go to Tremendosaur and Friends @ Tommy’s Place/USC 9PM FREE, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, then finish off with Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5. Once again, you’re welcome.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE-sign up (lottery) at 6:30PM/starts at 7PM/2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake), iCANDY-sign up at 6PM/starts at 7PM/1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA, GLENDALE DAYS INN-8PM/450 Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA, NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON -9PM/4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/message host David Marley for sign-up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC-5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s & Big Papa’s)

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List strikes again for 11/14-11/20… in a for-the-good-of-mankind way. Thanks Wisepix.

5) The Comedy Bureau tips it’s non-existent/metaphorical Twitter hat today to Lizzy Cooperman. RT @lizzycoooperman You call him a bad dancer. I call him a handicapped centipede. #twoleftfeet. Follow her here.

6) It has been brought to the Comedy Bureau’s attention that actual people read and appreciate the reviews featured here. As this is the case, there will be a REVIEWS archive in case you were ever wondering which are the hot shows to check out in the vast decentralized amazing place that LA is AND you didn’t want to scroll and search through all these posts looking for it.

7) Whatever the Comedy Bureau is doing tonight in comedy, with comedy, or any other preposition related to comedy will be live tweeted here. Please follow.

8) If you like Morning Debriefings more than Daily Reports, donate to the Comedy Bureau as it needs to make money doing this in its spare time AKA pretty much every waking minute. Again, donate.

9) Doing comedy every night literally stretches time as two weeks ago seems like two months to me, which makes me feel better as it seems I’ve been doing this blog a lot longer than I actually have. Though, it also makes it seem like I’ve been alone a lot longer (i.e. years seem like epochs)

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Morning Debriefing 11/11/10

1) Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics IS simply what people should expect out of a good comedy show. Packed house and a great line-up (free beer also helps). Unfortunately, a large segment of the population, not only in LA, but around the whole country have a different idea of what a live comedy show actually is. Hilarious comedienne Chelsea Peretti pointed it out so poignantly during the evening when she mentioned how she would rather be a fat guy and THEN the audience would understand that “comedy was happening” and shout, “WE GET IT! WE GET IT!” The stereotype of an overweight vulgar man making fun of audience members then hitting on their date when they go to the bathroom has been reinforced by far too many comedy clubs. Meltdown has the potential to prove this stereotype FALSE of live comedy as I sat right in front as part of a crowd of about 100 for the entire show and was not made fun of once AND had a fantastic time. Host Jonah Ray, after thanking people for not watching Gallagher at Club Nokia, let Meltdown rip with awesome performances from Ali Wong, Jerrod Carmichael, Randy Liedtke, Nick Kroll as force of nature Fabrice Fabrice, Seth Morris, Steve Agee, and Chelsea Peretti THEN Kumail Nanjiani apologized for not being there by texting a joke. Again, this is what people should expect from a live comedy show. Meltdown is every Wednesday 8:30PM $8 @ Meltdown Comics, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA.

2) The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ The Next Stage Theatre is the FUTURE of a live comedy show. Andre Hyland, as his absurdly fast-on-his-feet character Jesse Miller, hosts an off-air late night talk show that because of its brilliance, as sensational guest Joe Wagner commented, should be on TV. With completely dead-pan and completely hilarious musical sidekick Daryl and princess/straight-up girl/Jesse Miller Talk Show dancer Tanya, Jesse Miller takes absurdity in comedy to another level as he might seem like an unassuming yokel from Norwood, OH, but can rattle off quips, comebacks, and obscure Sonic Youth references with the best of them. Formatted with four amazing performers, a video of Jesse Miller (this edition included him in Cincinnati showing his Bengals Superbowl tattoo to people on game day), a heartfelt, bone-crushing song from Daryl, gut-busting interviews of all the guests, and an EATING CONTEST, there is no way you can beat entertainment like that for $5 on a late Tuesday night. “Straight-up hell yeah props” to Nicholas Rutherford, Melinda Hill, Joe Wagner, and Chris Fairbanks as last night’s line-up. The Jesse Miller Talk Show is on one Tuesday a month 11PM $5/one free beer @ The Next Stage Theatre, 1523 N. La Brea, Hollywood, CA (2nd Floor).

3) For all of you in the LA comedy community, the entire Comedy Bureau watched over 5 hours of live comedy yesterday.

4) For tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, you need to discover instant cloning to not miss anyone of these shows. Seriously, get on it. Start off with Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Loft 8PM (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then send your clone to Wil Anderson w/Brent Weinbach @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item minimum, then “original you” go to The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then your clone should go to Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent 9PM FREE, then you go to Facepush @ Flappers-Burbank 9:30PM $10/2 item min. Make sure to kill your clone at the end of the night, mostly to prevent any bad reality show being made from your lives.

5) Brand spanking new Comedy Bureau feature, as promised, OPEN MIC RUN. For all you comics trying the impossible by getting up more than once in LA try this: Go to SANDWICH SPOT 7PM, 3101 Ocean Park Ave, Santa Monica, CA, TKO SHOW @ 212 Cafe 9PM, 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA, CAFE ON 2ND 7:30PM 7 S. 2nd St./$3 cover/10 min. at least., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 5PM-11PM, 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA $5 cover/free coffee & bottled water/go up as many times as you want. Just do it (and maybe get some laughs).

6) The Comedy Bureau will be live tweeting throughout tonight’s comedy odyssey. Follow here.

7) Announcing another new feature in the works: The Comedy Bureau will tip its proverbial hat, because we can’t afford a real one, to a single tweet a day from all the amazing LA based comedians it tracks on Twitter. Not only will they be retweeted, but they will be mentioned here and if its popular enough, maybe will have contest with a TBD prize.

8) The Comedy Bureau needs your support both in the way of hugs AND donations. Please donate here.

8) With Veteran’s Day here, please honor all the men and women serving our country and keeping us safe so we can stay out until 3AM talking about how we hate dick jokes/dick jokes.

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