Recent News

1) This Tuesday 11/22 the Beards of Comedy come out with their sophomore album, Cardio Mix, which, by the way, is fantastic, but you can stream it in advance on Rdio.

2) So we’re still not dreaming about Arrested Development coming back as Ron Howard and Jason Bateman are happy about its return.

3) PBS. 9PM tonight. Woody Allen: A Documentary.

4) This past Thursday, Weird Al Yankovic did indeed take the stage with Garfunkel and Oates at the Super Serious Show and it was more hilarious and awesome than you could imagine.

5) While a recent study showed what the worst passwords to have this year, we like Nick Vatterott’s list better.

6) Get it right: Julie Klausner is the Cat Whisperer.

7) Prepare yourself for the Pardcast-a-thon this week…

8) ON THE HORIZON
Pixar’s La Luna Sneak Preview @ Cinefamily Sat. Dec. 3rd 2PM $10
Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios Thurs. Dec. 15th 7PM $10 

9) COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE 
Comedy For Dorks @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Powerviolence @ The Complex 9PM FREE
Top Story Weekly! @ iO West 9PM $5
Entertainment Hollywood Live! @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 
Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only) 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/lottery
PARADISE PERKS 15475 Jeffrey Rd., Irvine, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/only 10 spots available
NERDIST THEATER 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (back room of Meltdown Comics)/Sign-up 7:15PM/Starts 7:30PM/lottery/30 spots available/no purchase necessary
TSUNAMEDY @ TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/mixed mic
NEON VENUS THEATRE 7023 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 10PM/$¾ min. 
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee available  

11) Just when you think you got rid of your road rage problem, just drive through LA on a rainy day or Black Friday.

Report 00340
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) The LA Comedy Shorts Festival extended their deadline to Jan. 10th!

2) Portlandia is going on tour! Their LA stop is on Jan. 17th at the Echoplex and tickets go on sale tomorrow. This is good reason to keep a budget for eating just at 7-11, right?

3) Ryan Stout’s Touché will be coming out on Comedy Central Records on Dec. 6th. The perfect gift to buy for yourself in trying to fool people into thinking that you’re not Christmas shopping.

4) Part 2 of Woody Allen: A Documentary is on PBS 9PM tonight.

5) Comedy Light Box gets the Garfunkel and Oates treatment. Wait, switch that…

6) We hope there is more to come from this Reggie Watts room…

7) ON THE HORIZON
The Paul F. Tompkins Special Holiday Show @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre Sat. Dec. 17th 8:30PM $25 (proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity)

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Harmontown @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Sarah Silverman & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 8:30PM $25 (stand by only)
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE
2nd to Last Showcase @ Dangerfield’s 2 9:30PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
PALACE RESTAURANT 2112 Hillhurst Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Los Feliz)/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery
RAINBOW BAR & GRILL 9015 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up before 8PM/Starts 8:30PM/$2 cover/mixed mic
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/No purchase necessary
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC Campus)/nestled between three adjacent dorms approximately one block N. of Figueroa & Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/Non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/first come, first served/7 min./no purchase necessary
PETIE’S PLACE 6025 Reseda Blvd., Tarzana, CA/Starts 9PM/one drink min./7 min./first come, first served
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided    

10) If anyone is thinking of protesting the gross consumerism that takes place on Black Friday in the style of ‘Occupy’, just know that you’ll look like anyone else standing in line.

Report 00341
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Cardio Mix from the Beards of Comedy came out today and we highly suggest you pick it up like when we highly suggested you stream it a few days ago.

2) Tonight on late night: Amy Sedaris on The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS 11:35PM) and right after that, also on CBS, Jason Segel on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

3) NBC picks up Sarah Silverman Pilot.

4) The Channel 101 2011 Channy Awards will be on Sat. Dec. 10th 8PM. You’ll need reservations for this one.

5) According to Twitter, both Eddie Pepitone and Riki Lindhome are going to have their own albums! More details to come.

6) Paul Scheer tries to help Nickelback out for their upcoming performance on Thanksgiving in Detroit.

7) And now, an excerpt from a live Reggie Watts performance. It’s best if you keep in mind that it is an excerpt.

8) Liezl Estipona, comedy photographer/adventurer, is putting her book Liezl Was Here out tomorrow!

9) Puddin’-“Titties”

10) ON THE HORIZON
The Tomorrow Show Presents Extra Helpings w/the Doorknockers @ Steve Allen Theater Sat. Nov. 26th Midnight $8
Paul Scheer’s 3rd Annual Sexy Christmas Spectacular @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre Sat. Dec. 10th $25
Portlandia the Tour @ The Echoplex Tues. Jan. 17th 8PM $20

11) COMEDY CRAWL
Risk! True Tales Boldly Told @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
Rob Delaney’s Comedy Central Pilot Taping @ CBS Television City 5PM/7PM FREE (w/online tickets)
Comedy Bang Bang @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Ahmed & Friends @ Dangerfield’s 2 (The Very Last Show at Dangerfield’s 2) 9PM FREE
Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE 

12) OPEN MIC RUN
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:45PM/Starts 7PM/Ends 8:30PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
WESTWOOD BREW CO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM/mixed mic 
VINNY’S PIZZA 12740 Culver Blvd., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/$4 min.
DAVE’S BAR 708 Broadway, Glendale, CA/Sign-up 8:30PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd St. Promenade and 4th St.)/Sign-up 9:45PM/Starts 10PM/lottery/$1 cover
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 10:30PM after booked show/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

13) Anyone feel like making PSA regarding people asking comedians off stage to tell them a joke/comedians giving into said question because they desperately want to be liked? Anybody?

Report 00342
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) TJ Miller is the lead for Fox’s comedy pilot “Little Brother”!

2) Amy Sedaris wears a presidential quilt dress and has something to say to David Letterman on the Late Show.

3) Amy Poehler is producing the TV adaptation of Broad City for FX and apologizes for the seats at the Hollywood Palladium during her speech for Variety’s Power of Comedy.

4) Congratulations to Barry Rothbart on being the latest paid regular at the Comedy Store.

5) Liezl’s book, Liezl Was Here: Adventures in Comedy Photography, is out now for purchase! 

6) There’s a site called Ranker.com which Jimmy Pardo used to rank his worst gigs ever.

7) So you weren’t at the @RobDelaney pilot taping, huh? We were.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Smartest Man in the World LIVE! @ Bar Lubitsch 7PM FREE
Meltdown Thanksgiving Show @ Nerdist Theater 8:30PM FREE
The Good Bits @ WitZend 9PM $5
Shitty Holidays @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Comedy Garage Thanksgiving Show @ Flight Theater (at the Complex) 10PM FREE
Clownvis Presley @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5  

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 7PM/lottery
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
GRINDHOUSE CAFE 1051 N. Havenhurst, West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM 
LIQUID ZOO 7214 Sepulveda Blvd., Van Nuys, CA/Sign-up 8:30PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/7 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT  

10) There will be a Morning Debriefing tomorrow, but there will be no Comedy Crawl or Open Mic Run as there will be plenty of funny things that will happen tomorrow. Well, they’ll be tragic and a few days later, they’ll be hilarious.

Report 00343
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Don’t forget that there will be a whole bunch of traffic around Target’s everywhere near midnight and the Pardcast-a-thon is tomorrow.

2) Our pals at Lost Moon Radio have joined in the holiday spirit and made a holiday album “It Had To Be Yule”. With tracks such as “Patrick Stewart’s A Christmas Story”, this will definitely beat out whatever you were going to hear on KOST 103.5FM.

3) Here’s a special Puddin’ marking the traditions of Thanksgiving…

4) NBC is thankful for giving into apologizing to Michelle Bachmann for the music that brought her on at Fallon earlier this week.

5) Below is probably the last image that will ever be of the short-lived independent LA comedy venue known as Dangerfield’s 2. [via AsteriosKokkinos]

6) FoD does a great send-up of Megyn Kelly, the Fox news anchor that commented that pepper spray is essentially a food product in regards to the UC Davis pepper spray incident, with the amazing Erin Gibson.

7) LA Weekly chats with Ron Swanson/Nick Offerman about meat and things.

8) Will Weldon is the One Night Man (Full Disclosure: it’s not a super hero thing, but it’s really funny)

9) ON THE HORIZON
Second City Late Night with Paul F. Tompkins & Maria Bamford @ Second City Hollywood Fri. Dec. 9th 11PM $5

10) Yeah, it’s Thanksgiving and I still posted. ANYONE THANKFUL TO FIND OUT THAT THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN’T TRY TO GO TO AN OPEN MIC TODAY? 

Report 00344
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Let’s start off Black Friday right with Michele Bachmann plugging her book Core of Conviction FoD style.

2) We have no idea how this slipped through the Comedy Bureau interdepartmental walls, but faux-retro-action-comedy web series Danger 5 did. It’s crazier than Inglorious Basterds in much more manageable lengths. Watch the trailer. [via JackieKashian]

3) There are no doorbusters here, but Team Coco just opened their new online store, which you can buy Conan merch without any risk of bodily harm from other shoppers.

4) The Midnight Show gives you tips on how to plant your own vegetables. That’s all there is to it…

5) You do know you can write for Cracked, right?

6) Though we missed posting this on or before Thanksgiving, Alison Agosti gives some great tips on how to get into the holiday spirit, especially you hate things like getting into the holiday spirit.

7) The Pardcast-a-thon starts at 6PM PST tonight and going for 12 hours. Laugh and donate. That’s all you need to do with that one

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Best of Groundlings @ Groundlings Theatre 8PM $20 
Maximum Fun w/Jesse Thorn @ Ice House Stage 2 8PM $10/2 drink min.
Christina Pazsitsky @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $17/2 item min.
12 Shiny Nickels @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $10 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SET LIST @ FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 5:30PM/given “set list” of topics to do jokes off of/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/4 min./no purchase necessary
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM/booked show after/no purchase necessary
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/No foul language/No purchase necessary/first come, first served   
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery  

10) I think it would be beneficial to societal order and also a lot funnier if everyone doing Black Friday shopping had to verify that they were shopping for anybody but themselves.

Report 00345
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Jimmy Pardo’s Pardcast-a-thon, which only ended a few hours ago, finally tallied a whopping $34,636.39 for Smiletrain. Also, apparently, Jon Hamm showed up and got drunk. Congrats on both counts!

2) So, Insane Clown Posse came into the closet for SNL Writer Mike O’Brien’s his web series 7 minutes in Heaven…

3) Not that it makes any difference hearing it from us versus all the other great things you’ve heard about it, but The Muppets movie is definitely worth catching.

4) Humor magazine, The Devastator, featuring contributors from the Daily Show, The Onion, McSweeney’s, The Cobert Report, Adult Swim, and more just made a new issue available for purchase/subscription.

5) Eddie Pepitone’s first live comedy album, “A Great Stillness” will be released and celebrated on Dec. 1st!

6) If you’re not following David Seger’s ‘New In November’ run where he makes a video and posts it online everyday, then you need to stop doing your NaNoWriMo novel and check it out for things like Whiskey Vision (taping a camera to bottle of Jack Daniels then letting the night unfold).

7) ON THE HORIZON
Team Coco Live @ UCB Theatre Fri. Dec. 2nd 8PM $10

8) COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only)
The Ed Galvez Punk House Weekend Edition @ Westside Comedy Theater 8PM $8
Best of Groundlings @ Groundlings Theatre 8PM/10PM $20
Comedy Extravaganza “Orphans” Thanksgiving Edition @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $10 
Christina Pazsitsky @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $17/2 item min.
Hello Giggles Presents: Letters to My Younger Self @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only) 
The Walsh Brothers @ UCB Theatre $5 MIDNIGHT
The Tomorrow Show Presents Extra Helpings with the Doorknockers @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/feedback given at end
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/coffee & water provided
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/no purchase necessary/4 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery  

10) Apparently, people were also trying to get Black Friday deals at a gun store because they were either waiting for the right time for home security or the upcoming zombie apocalypse is conveniently scheduled right after the holidays. 

Report 00346
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) From what we can understand, cybersecurity company Norton will have various performance artists performing various people’s Facebook wall who participate in their upcoming live webcast event, Stuff Theatre.

2) If you missed the live broadcast on PBS of Woody Allen: A Documentary, Part 1 is now online.

3) Channel 101 NY reveals its nominees…

4) Last Call with Carson Daly does some pretty interesting field pieces (including one’s on Twitter pioneers Megan Amram and Kelly Oxford), but they hardly ever put them up right after they air. That’s why a chat with Dave Attell at the Comedy Store and an interview with Reggie Watts might have slipped through past your Google Reader.

6) ON THE HORIZON
The Imaginary Radio Program @ Nerdist Theater Thurs. Dec. 8th $8 in adv., $10 at door

7) COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Bill Cosby @ Fred Kavli Theatre 8PM $54-$79
Neil Hamburger & Special Guests @ The Satellite LA 8:30PM $8
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Powerviolence @ The Complex 9PM FREE
Jeselnik & Co. @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only) 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/lottery
SUNDAY SKETCH SHOW 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA/this is an open mic for sketches/Starts 7PM/Sign-up in advance/no purchase necessary/
NERDIST THEATER 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (back room of Meltdown Comics)/Sign-up 7:15PM/Starts 7:30PM/lottery/30 spots available/no purchase necessary
TSUNAMEDY @ TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/mixed mic
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee available   

9) I’m excited that the NBA’s back as I was really for people staring daggers at me when we turn off the game to start a comedy show.

Report 00347
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) There’s going to be a Flight of the Conchords movie?

2) The winners of the Fake Criterion Year One Contest gave the Criterion cover treatment to Dracula Has Risen From The Grave (Honorable Mention) Batman and Robin (Honorable Mention), Death Wish 3 (3rd Place), American Ninja 2 (2nd Place), and Back to the Future 2 (1st Place). Maybe Criterion will release some of these (meaning American Ninja 2) with ironic commentary or something.

3) What an episode of Conan that’s airing tonight with Jason Segel and Das Racist (TBS 11PM)

4) You know you’ve been waiting for a brand new episode of the Tommy Wi-Show, so here’s Tommy f’n up big time in Little Big Planet 2.

5) Support Jon Daly’s 24 Hour Goatee Project. Also, don’t ask questions about it…

6) One of fictional paper company Dunder Mifflin’s top competitor’s in the Wilkes-Barre area, Staples, will be actually printing Dunder Mifflin paper. 

7) Congrats to both Reginald D. Hunter and Gina Yashere for garnering multiple nominations in the UK’s Black Comedy Awards. Chris Rock was also nominated for Best International Comedian, but that almost goes without saying, though Bill Cosby is nowhere to be found.

8) Puddin’-“Court” w/guest Andy Richter (who’ll be guest-starring all this week)

9) COMEDY CRAWL
Star Dreck @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
Cartoon Dump @ The Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
PALACE RESTAURANT 2112 Hillhurst Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Los Feliz)/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery
RAINBOW BAR & GRILL 9015 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up before 8PM/Starts 8:30PM/$2 cover/mixed mic
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided    

11) Just like that stupid house on your block that already has its Christmas lights up, comedians are not going to wait until December to start the overkill of Christmas humor.

Report 00348
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) RIP Patrice O’Neal. Hopefully, Netflix will categorize you accurately now.

2) Conan is definitely killing it this week with tonight’s episode featuring Nathan Fillion, who is hilarious in a thing called PG Porn, Angela Kinsey, and many comedians’ favorite thing to listen to alone, Morrissey. I guess that’s the only way you can top Jason Segel’s story about Mickey Rooney and Das Racist bringing a MJ impersonator on stage. Also, Jon Stewart will be interviewing Betty White tonight on the Daily Show (Comedy Central 11PM)

3) Soundcloud is calling for podcasts!

4) And now, a very important message from Joselyn Hughes on introducing comics during a live show. Also, she sets f’n records.

5) Bob Odenkirk is hilarious when angry, especially if Andre Hyland/Phil Gower (holistic new age therapist) is the one egging him on.

6) Here’s a very interesting look at the history of laugh track and, perhaps, why it won’t gracefully die.

7) To add to the excitement of Kristen Schaal having an arc on 30 Rock, Louis CK will be returning as his lovable cop on Parks and Recreation. That news coupled with Community being TV Guide’s fan favorite must make Community fans feel a little better about the state of NBC’s comedies.

8) The new Power Rankings for Humblebrag are here and to no one’s surprise, Tyler, The Creator from Odd Future is crushing it.

9) Is there a weekly list of 5 of the best sketches, web series, uploaded live performances in comedy? Yes, there is such a thing on the Nerdist…

10) ON THE HORIZON
Susan Burke’s Smoke Worry Fuck @ UCB Theatre Thurs. Dec. 1st 8PM $5
Murray Valeriano Taping @ M Bar Wed. Dec. 14th 7PM No cover/$10 min.

11) COMEDY CRAWL
Performance Anxiety @ The Pleasure Chest 8PM $7
Harland Williams @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $20/2 item min.
The Dork Forest Live @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
The Good Luck Show @ Good Luck Bar 8PM FREE
Comedy Bang Bang @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Therapy! @ Blue Monkey Lounge 8:30PM FREE
Nick Kroll & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 9PM $25
Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE 

12) OPEN MIC RUN
ACME COMEDY HOLLYWOOD 135 N. La Brea Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
AMSTERDAM CAFE 10905 Magnolia Blvd., North Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/first come, first served
WESTWOOD BREW CO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
VINNY’S PIZZA 12740 Culver Blvd., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM/mixed mic 
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/$4 min.
PETIE’S PLACE 6025 Reseda Blvd., Tarzana, CA/Starts 9PM/one drink min./first come, first served
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd St. Promenade and 4th St.)/Sign-up 9:45PM/Starts 10PM/lottery/$1 cover
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided  
BLUE MONKEY LOUNGE 5521 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 11PM after booked show/1 drink min./first come, first served 

13) Regarding this venting on the study of comedy, let me just say that I really love comedy, just in case this post and the hundreds of other ones just like it that we written by me weren’t evidence enough.

Report 00349
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Patrice O’Neal will not only have his special “Elephant in the Room” aired on Comedy Central at 8PM (edited) and at 12AM (uncensored) tonight, but a brand new album, Mr. P, from O’Neal will be released posthumously next year.

2) And then there was a teaser for Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie in which they quote themselves a bunch…

3) On Conan last night, Nathan Fillion revealed how he will go undefeated at Halloween. Tonight, Bill Cosby will be on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC 11:35PM), Nick Kroll AND Michael Kosta will be on Conan (TBS 11PM), & David Sedaris will be on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS 12:35AM). It’s a lot to leave in boldface type, but it’s deserving.

4) Christina Pazsitsky’s “It’s Hard Being A Person” came out yesterday!

5) It seems everyone’s reading Rookie Mag’s feature of letters from and to funny people like Maria Bamford, Sarah Silverman, Tig Notaro, Gina Yashere, and more.

6) Norton’s Stuff Theatre is happening right now.

7) Nando’s, a fast food chicken chain, went from using Reggie Watts in their ads to making fun of Mugabe and Gaddafi?

8) Puddin’-“Brando” w/guest Andy Richter

9) COMEDY CRAWL
Women! Comedy! Festival! @ Room 101 7PM FREE
Doug Stanhope @ Irvine Improv 8PM $25/2 item min.
Meltdown @ Nerdist Theater 8:30PM $8
Comedy Cult @ Home Room 9PM $5
Venice Underground @ Townhouse & The Del Monte 9PM FREE
Facebook @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Beer in the Shower @ Dreams Bar & Cafe 9:30PM FREE
Comedy Juice @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min.
Roast the Week @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5 
Throwback @ Next Stage Theater 11PM $5 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SMILES NIGHTCLUB 13615 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, CA/Sign-up 5:45PM/Starts 6PM/first come, first served/No purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 7PM/lottery
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
GRINDHOUSE CAFE 1051 N. Havenhurst, West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM 
LIQUID ZOO 7214 Sepulveda Blvd., Van Nuys, CA/Sign-up 8:30PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/7 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT  

11) Not that its shocking to most people that follow this site, but making Jerry Sandusky jokes aren’t shocking or controversial, especially if that’s what you’re going for.

Report 00350
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) That’s right Eddie Pepitone’s live album A Great Stillness is finally out! Go celebrate by purchasing a copy then going to his Bloodbath, the show that is, tonight at the Hollywood Improv Lab.

2) The world of Twitter, and the whole world for that matter, should thank Neil Hamburger for perpetuating the trending topic on #AXESnoConeFlavors (read AXE SnoCone Flavors), the way they ought to be like “Value Gin and Despair”.

3) Last night, Nick Kroll talks about crapping his pants on Conan and Bill Cosby uncovers the great mystery of making the best stuffing for turkey on Leno. Tonight, Zooey Deschanel, Harland Williams, and Laurie Kilmartin cap off a near perfect week on Conan (TBS 11PM).

4) Accolades in the world of comedy went all around yesterday as Weird Al Yankovic got his due in Grammy nominations, Tim & Eric/Nick Offerman/Susan Burke/Lizzy Caplan/more made it into 2012 Sundance, and Beginners gets plenty of well-deserved praise in multiple nominations at the Spirit Awards.

5) Wanna be an audience member at one of the upcoming tapings for the Nerdist on BBC this Sun.?

6) “Death to Bringer Shows” by Barbara Gray. Please read and pass along.

7) Steve Benaquist goes as a Bank of America employee canvassing Occupy LA and makes sure, despite the gravity of the events taking place, we don’t lose ourselves in being too serious. 

8) GQ asks Parks and Recreation’s Jean-Ralphio about being a guy…

9) Just because you don’t have an office because you’re a comedian doesn’t mean you there won’t be a toy drive to go to this holiday season. Friday Dec. 16th at All Star Lanes in Eagle Rock from 7PM-2AM, there’ll be just such an office party/toy drive presented by Brandie Posey.

10) If you’re like us and like hilarious and dark, then you’ll like the NY based web series “It Gets Betterish”.

11) What’s What-“the Ohio Sex Study”

12) ON THE HORIZON
The 1988 Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party @ UCB Theatre Mon. Dec. 12th 11PM $5
2011 Comedy Bang Bang Nativity Pageant @ UCB Theatre Tues. Dec. 13th 7PM  

13) COMEDY CRAWL
Gallows Humor @ Vlad’s the Retailer 7:30PM $5
Smoke.Worry.Fuck @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
Two Thumbs Way Down @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
Doug Stanhope @ Brea Improv 8PM $25/2 item min.
Gonzo V: The Turduckening @ L Bar 8PM FREE
The Eddie Pepitone Bloodbath & CD Release @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Odd Thursdays @ The Palace Restaurant 9PM FREE
How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)

14) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/1 item min./first come, first served
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
ZAPATA VIVE 101 S. First Ave., Arcadia, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/20 spots available/5 min.
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic
VINNY’S PIZZA 12740 Culver Blvd., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary 
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available   
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT  

15) It’s best to not hand jokes on a notecard to people that don’t think you’re funny unless giving people more reason to hate you is “your thing”.

Report 00351
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Watch the comedic brilliance of Harland Williams then Laurie Kilmartin bring the heat last on Conan.

2) After quoting themselves in their teaser, Tim and Eric do a fake promo featuring themselves before their red band trailer.

3) NY’s Chris Gethard of the late night variety show madness known as the Chris Gethard Show is coming out with a book entitled “A Bad Idea I’m About To: True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure”. How can you not go for that?

4) We’re not going to delve into how you can do a lot of what you need to do/be in comedy without going to college because we don’t want to feel like you’re wasting money, but the Student Academy Awards did just open for submissions. [via ComicBible]

5) Also, on sale, today, DVDs and downloads of Cinematic Titanic LIVE, which is a live version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 minus costumes with the original cast and creator. Again, we ask, how can you not go for that?

5) Though you might be leery in CNN covering comedy, you need to be checking out their profile series of comedians they’ve been doing. There’s this nice one of Bill Burr discussing his conspiracy theorist past.

6) Why you gotta be like that @EveryTweet_Ever?

7) A track from Patrice O’Neal’s upcoming album has been released.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5
Matt Champagne @ Flappers Claremont 8PM $15
Team Coco Live @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 
The 12 Shiny Nickels Show @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $10
Really F*cking Great Show @ Fanatic Salon 9PM $10
Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE
The Also-Ran Comedy Hour @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SET LIST @ FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 5:30PM/given “set list” of topics to do jokes off of/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/4 min./no purchase necessary
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM/booked show after/no purchase necessary
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
AMSTERDAM CAFE 10905 Magnolia Blvd., North Hollywood, CA/Starts 6:30PM/Sign-up 6PM/first come, first served
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/No foul language/No purchase necessary/first come, first served   
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery  

10) I don’t know if I’ve said this already, but one of the things, if I so had the power, I’d change in the entertainment biz would be standing in an informal line to talk to somebody at anything. I don’t have a solution, but it’s weird and makes everyone waiting feel stupid.

Report 00352
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) You can say tweets and short quips and more AND have people what your voice, which you probably hate, really sounds like? Eardrop (from Earwolf) has arrived for just to answer that question.

2) Now that there’s a little more warning, we know that Wendy Liebman’s Showtime special “Taller on TV” will be re-airing at 3:30AM on Showtime throughout this month.

3) Dan Harmon’s thoughts on Community being voted TV Guide’s fan favorite before NBC tabled the show midseason.

3) London and the Soho Theatre is loving the improvised stand-up show Set List and we sure do miss them here.

4) If you’ve ever wondered about watching an entire episode of the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson instead of the clips of interviews and stand-up and if it’s hip or not, read the A.V. Club’s take, then have your own opinion for once.

5) LA Weekly covers Women! Comedy! Festival! at Room 101.

6) For those looking for who like our calendars on “the bleaker tip”, there’s a hilariously dark one called “Death on the Mountain” by Abbey Luck depicting bizarre tragedies year round. The perfect gift for someone who just watched Melancholia and liked it (Yes, that’s us). [via Annie Lederman]

7) ON THE HORIZON
Bill Burr @ Brea Improv Dec. 8th-11th $25/2 item min.
One-Two Punch @ Benton Manor Sat Dec. 10th 8PM $3

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Pixar’s “La Luna” Advanced Screening @ Cinefamily 2PM $10
Space Ghost: Coast to Coast-Cast/Creators Reunion @ Cinefamily 5PM $12
The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 7:30PM/10:30PM $25 (stand by only)
Long Way Down @ Roof Dog Terrace 7:30PM FREE
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only)
Two-Headed Beast @ Stories, Books, & Cafe 8PM FREE
LETTUCE Entertain You (With Stand-Up) @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10
The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only) 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/feedback given at end
ICE HOUSE 24 N. Mentor Ave., Pasadena, CA/Starts 4PM/Sign-up is lottery/No purchase necessary/5 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/coffee & water provided
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/no purchase necessary/4 min./first 18 spots guaranteed only 
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery  

10) If there were only an app for Google that would tell people that try to fact check jokes during a show to stop trying to ruin the entertainment for themselves, that would be a pretty great start to the holiday season.

Report 00353
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) For those of you that follow and enjoy @EddiePepitone on Twitter, your wishes have finally come true via the web series NitTwits: Eddie’s “To Do Lists” come to life.

2) The Zero Film Festival, an LA film festival dedicated to those that finance themselves, the self-starters that do it most of their filming probably on the sly, is looking for submissions.

3) Comedy Nerds United compiles comedians and their muppet look-a-likes. No, there is no other way around like that “Man or Muppet” song in the new movie. It’s just comedians.

4) It takes quite the prank video to get mentioned at the Comedy Bureau, but asking Target employees for items on a list that your “friends” wrote that you’ve never seen is pretty good. Yeah, we know you saw the first one (it has over a million views), here’s the new one Mediocre Films uploaded today.

5) And now for an important message from Connected Comedy and the importance of web videos in comedy.

6) ON THE HORIZON
Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab Wed. Dec. 14th 8PM $5

7) COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Lazy Sunday @ Westside Comedy Theater 8PM $5
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Powerviolence @ The Complex 9PM FREE
RTDOK Presents @ Chatterbox 9PM FREE
Gravid Water @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only) 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/lottery
PARADISE PERKS 15475 Jeffrey Rd., Irvine, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/only 10 spots available
NERDIST THEATER 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (back room of Meltdown Comics)/Sign-up 7:15PM/Starts 7:30PM/lottery/30 spots available/no purchase necessary
TSUNAMEDY @ TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/mixed mic
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee available  

9) It’s great that any comedian wants to be honest and is tired of their stupid old act, but there’s no need to announce as your entire set that you’ll be doing that AT YOUR NEXT SHOW that you incidentally want people to come to. That’s wasting everyone’s time.

Report 00354
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) 12/16/61, an unreleased recording of Bill Hicks performing when he was 21 will be released next week. [via Laugh Button]

2) Solid holiday comedy nerd gift guide from HuffPo Comedy.

3) The Midnight Show’s version of the Muppets. In short, awesome.

4) Danger 5, the retro alternative WWII comedy action web series, came out with its 2nd and 3rd parts. Watch and wonder why this isn’t on Adult Swim.

5) Fake Criterions wants to know what you would design for the Criterion cover of Manos: The Hands of Fate. There’s a good reason for this…

6) In other Muppets news, Fox News has found a conspiracy in showing the film to children. Whether or not that’s a big surprise would be the real surprise I guess?

7) ON THE HORIZON
The 2011 Channel 101 Channy Awards @ Downtown Independent Theater Sat. Dec. 10th 8PM
The 3rd Annual Doorknockers Christmas Pageant @ Steve Allen Theater Thurs. Dec. 15th 8PM $10

8) COMEDY CRAWL
P.O.V. @ Groundlings 8PM $10
The Mixer @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5
Telethon @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
PALACE RESTAURANT 2112 Hillhurst Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Los Feliz)/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery
RAINBOW BAR & GRILL 9015 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up before 8PM/Starts 8:30PM/$2 cover/mixed mic
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided    

10) May the best sketch about the conference regarding picking Madonna to perform at the Super Bowl Halftime Show win…

Report 00355
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Ryan Stout’s album Touché, a fine example in both how precise and well-crafted a joke can be and how can you successfully grade an audience while you’re telling them, came out today as well as Season 1 of Portlandia on DVD and Blu Ray. Maybe your second cousins don’t need Christmas gifts?

2) Tonight, Patton Oswalt stops by on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (CBS 12:35AM) and Conan has yet another stellar episode planned with guests Paul F. Tompkins, Tig Notaro, and Sofia Vergara from Modern Family (TBS 11PM).

3) Steve Martin’s chat, parts 1 and 2, with Jimmy Fallon last night makes us desperately wish that Martin would go back into stand-up.

4) Laughspin is now taking votes for their 2011 Readers Choice Comedy Awards. There’s a lot of funny people nominated, so go vote.

5) Yesterday, we started the This Better Be Funny Podcast, which isn’t so much talking about comedy as it is comedians finding how their jokes are/aren’t funny.

6) Funny or Die does a nice mash-up of every overly star studded holiday movie.

7) Another week of the Nerdist’s 5 Most Intentionally Funny Videos This Week.

8) ON THE HORIZON
Liezl Was Here Gallery Showcasing @ IDA Fri. Dec. 9th 6PM
Bill Hicks’ Ninja Bachelor Party Screening Cinefamily Fundraiser @ The Comedy Store Fri. Dec. 16th 11:30PM $10

9) COMEDY CRAWL
The 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes  8PM FREE
Good Luck Show @ Good Luck Bar 8PM FREE
Comedy Bang Bang @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE
Geekscape Presents II: Deep Space Atlantis SVU @ Michael’s Bar & Grill 9PM FREE

10) OPEN MIC RUN
ACME COMEDY HOLLYWOOD 135 N. La Brea Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
AMSTERDAM CAFE 10905 Magnolia Blvd., North Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/first come, first served
WESTWOOD BREW CO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM/mixed mic 
VINNY’S PIZZA 12740 Culver Blvd., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/$4 min.
DAVE’S BAR 708 Broadway, Glendale, CA/Sign-up 8:30PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd St. Promenade and 4th St.)/Sign-up 9:45PM/Starts 10PM/lottery/$1 cover
MAX STEINER’S 2500 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 9PM/Starts 10PM after booked show/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

11) Man, do I sure hate passive aggressive comments from comedians on social networks that passive aggressively never point out who they have the problem with.

Report 00356
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Comedy Central announces its production/development slate. Good news for Matt Braunger, Kumail Nanjiani, Rob Delaney, Kyle Kinane, Eugene Mirman, Anthony Jeselnik fans/comedy fans in general.

2) Last night Paul F. Tompkins discusses Sky Mall on Conan, Tig Notaro does her famous stool pushing bit also on Conan, and Patton Oswalt reveals why he enjoyed working on Failure to Launch. Tonight, the other Patton in stand-up that everyone needs to know about, Sean Patton is, yes, on Conan (TBS 11PM).

3) The WGA Awards just released their TV nominations and while 30 Rock and Louie and Modern Family all got their due, we’re so glad that John Benjamin Has A Van got nominated.

4) On top of the news that MTV’s Liquid TV is coming back, it’s even greater news to hear the amazing Drennon Davis will be doing a series for it.

5) You might have heard that Weird Al Yankovic took the stage with Garfunkel and Oates last month at the Super Serious Show. Well, here’s the proof.

6) IFC’s blog compiles a list of the funniest movie deaths that weren’t at all meant to be funny. 

7) ON THE HORIZON
Benefest @ Steve Allen Theater Wed. Dec. 14th-Sat. Dec. 17th $35-$300

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Library Cards @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5
This Is Not Happening: Deflowered @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/2 item min.
A Kiss From Daddy/Birthday Boys @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand by only)
The End Show @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE
The Rudy Casoni Variety Show @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10
Wednesday Night Raw Impact Comedy Smackdown @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5
Meltdown @ Nerdist Theater 8:30PM $8
Frolic! @ Far Bar 9PM FREE
Facebook @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Beer in the Shower @ Dreams Cafe & Bar 9:30PM FREE
Fresh Faces @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $10-$30/2 drink min.
Matty’s Pizza Party @ Next Stage Theater 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SMILES NIGHTCLUB 13615 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, CA/Sign-up 5:45/Starts 6PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 7PM/lottery
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/5 min./first come, first served/one drink min.
GRINDHOUSE CAFE 1051 N. Havenhurst, West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM 
DAVE’S CHILLIN’ AND GRILLIN’ 
LIQUID ZOO 7214 Sepulveda Blvd., Van Nuys, CA/Sign-up 8:30PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/7 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 11PM/Starts MIDNIGHT  

10) A real disservice is done when someone shakes the hand of a comedian who just got off the stage when that someone doesn’t think they’re funny. In all likelihood, someone will have to hear that half-ass pun all over again.

Report 00357
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau