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Morning Debriefing 1/14/11
January 14, 2011
Uncategorized
comedy, comedy crawl, funny or die, garfunkel and oates, greater la comedy landscape, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, steven wright, tip of the hat, tj miller, ultimate free and cheap la comedy list, wisepix

1) Congratulations to Garfunkel and Oates (@garfunkeloates for you Twitter folks) for inking a development deal with HBO.  If you have a Variety subscription, you can read more details here.

2) HBO’s Funny or Die Presents returns tonight at MIDNIGHT.  It’s Friday, so it’s not that late and you should watch. WATCH!!!

3) The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 1/16-1/22. Thanks Wisepix.

4) The Greater LA Comedy Landscape has been a popular feature here at the Comedy Bureau (according to Google it has more views than our home page) and it’s going to get even better as it will soon be updated with more detail and any reviews that I’ve written about shows around LA.

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL may be small, but certainly not in stature.
Save the Max @ Westside Comedy Theatre 7:30PM $10
Jim Jeffries @ Brea Improv 8PM/10PM $20/2 drink min.
Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5  

6) OPEN MIC RUN:
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Burbank, CA/Starts 5PM
iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min.
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to TJ MILLER-“I’m Having a Difficult Time Killing My Parents (Sundance Trailer)”  In terms of being “off the cuff”, seeing TJ Miller live will completely amaze you in where the “rabbit hole” is and how far he’ll take you down it laughing the whole way through.  You can see him at Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE and Out West Comedy Show @ RoosterFish 8PM FREE.  Website. Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Steven Wright’s Tonight Show Debut

9) Does anyone get any followers on Twitter off of Follow Fridays or is the equivalent to shaking someone’s hand at the end of an open mic?

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Morning Debriefing 1/15/11
January 15, 2011
Uncategorized
bob's burgers, comedy, comedy central, la, morning debriefing, stand up showdown

1) THE LOS ANGELES COMEDY FESTIVAL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER TAKING SUBMISSIONS FOR LIVE COMEDY ACTS, FILMS, AND SCREENPLAYS.  DEADLINE JAN. 21ST. FINAL DEADLINE MAR. 18TH FOR LIVE PERFORMANCE AND FILM.  APRIL 1ST FOR SCREENPLAY. (you should probably get on this) www.lacomedyfest.com

2) Comedy Central’s Stand Up Showdown is still going and you can THUS still get your votes in and possibly win a trip to the South Beach Comedy Festival or a bunch of Comedy Central Specials on DVD.  

3) If you are already a big fan of Fox’s brand new animated series Bob’s Burgers, you can now go to a “real” Bob’s Burgers right here.

4) The Doorknockers are now on Tumblr.  You should follow them and they might just follow you back and maybe just knock on your door (especially if you’re at the Tomorrow Show)

5) The Worst TV with hilarious comedienne Shannon Hatch now has their catalogue of episodes on Talk Media Networks where you can catch all of the worst that our culture has to offer.  

6) All I have to say about tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-now we’re talking…
Bowser’s Castle @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE
Jim Jeffries @ Brea Improv 7PM/9PM $20/2 item min.
The Back Room w/Matt Besser @ UCB Theatre $10 10PM
Saturday! Saturday! Show @ The Sidewalk Studio Theatre 10:30PM $5 
The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ Fake Gallery 11PM $5
The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8 

7) OPEN MIC RUN:
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/3-5 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ROB DELANEY-“@robdelaney Valentine’s Day is one month from today. Are you prepared? FOCUS. Screw it up, and you will die alone.” Rob just came off his NY premiere of his one man show, “Naked and Bloody” and is hopefully coming back to LA soon to share himself and his Twitter live with all of us here.  He’s performing this Monday at Melgard Mondays @ (you guessed it) Melgard Public House 9PM FREE.  Twitter. Tumblr.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Steve Martin-Fun Balloon Animals

10) Should there be a catchphrase or a jingle that is embedded right here? Any thoughts? Would that get more people reading the Comedy Bureau?  If you’ve read this far, please let me know at thecomedybureau@gmail.com 

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Morning Debriefing 1/16/11
January 16, 2011
Uncategorized
beards of comedy tour, big trouble in little tokyo, charlyne yi, comedy, comedy crawl, doorknockers, heart of darkness, la, morning debriefing, old lumps, open mic run, robert buscemi, walsh brothers

1) Charlyne Yi and the Old Lumps, now available on iTunes, meaning you should go iTunes and then check them out (after reading the rest of this post that is)

2) The Doorknockers (Randy Liedtke and Davey Johnson) are having a PARTY and you could be a part of it if you follow them on Tumblr or e-mail them at thedoorknockers@gmail.com.  More details here.

3) FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY THIS WEEK: Greg Barris’ Heart of Darkness @ Burbank Moose Lodge 9PM Fri. Jan. 21st $5 and Beards of Comedy Tour @ Meltdown Comics w/Kyle Kinane 8:30PM Sat. Jan. 22nd $10.  I wouldn’t be telling you about these shows this far in advance if I didn’t think they were worth going to.

4) Yes, that’s the sound of Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic coming your way again (just imagine the sound of something awe inspiring).  This Tues. Jan 18th THE WALSH BROTHERS and GREG BARRIS!!!! Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. 

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-GO-the Golden Globes results will be on Twitter.
Jim Jeffries @ Brea Improv 7PM $20/2 item min.
ASSSSCAT @ UCB THEATRE 7:30PM FREE
Comedy Without a Cause @ Boardner’s in Hollywood 8PM FREE
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE

6) OPEN MIC RUN: 
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
TSUNAMEDY @ TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM/mixed mic
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ROBERT BUSCEMI-“@robertbuscemi No man is an island. Though congrats on getting one you can’t escape from named after yourself, Gilligan.” Taking you on wild ride of absurdist imagery with a painfully clever wit, Robert Buscemi is certainly an act that should be seen as much as possible to veritably “lost” in laughter. Twitter. Blog.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau for show dates.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ricky Gervais Takes His Emmy Back (hope something like this happens tonight)

9) What It’s like at the end of the day of the Comedy Bureau: “Night, Jake.” “Night, Jake.” “Yeah, good night to you too Jake.” “Don’t forget to restock the ink cartridges, Jake.” “We don’t have a printer, JAKE!” “Go buy one, Jake” “GO SHOVE IT JAKE!” “See you tommorow, Jake.” “Yep.”

Report 00086

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Morning Debriefing 1/17/11
January 17, 2011
Uncategorized
big trouble in little tokyo, chris rock, comedy, comedy crawl, golden globes, la, lizz winstead, open mic run, the morning after, tip of the hat

1) The fact that the Golden Globes lumps Comedy with Musicals in their consideration for awards is just another reason why people shouldn’t care about the Golden Globes.

2) The Morning After… Podcast just got featured in the LOS ANGELES EXAMINER.  Check it out here.  Though it’s a hilarious look into the porn industry, I’m pretty sure this is not NSFW.

3) Have the Walsh Brothers STOP and Greg Barris STOP $2 fish tacos STOP $3-$4 beers until 9PM STOP and nothing, hopefully about the Golden Globes though that’s out of my control really STOP Go to Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) STOP 6:30PM STOP or you’ll never STOP hitting yourself. 

4) OK, Golden Globes are OVER now folks-time for a COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Cherry Pit 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand-by only)

5) OPEN MIC RUN:
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PMish
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM
PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on campus, nestled in between three dormitories near intersection of Figueroa and Exposition)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed 

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZ WINSTEAD-“@lizzwinstead Megan Fox is so brilliant she only feels safe letting very few people know about it. #GoldenGlobes” Lizz Winstead is one of the co-creators of the Daily Show.  I don’t think I really need to say more than that.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau for upcoming dates. Twitter. Website.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Chris Rock-Martin Luther King Boulevard

8) As I was not invited to the Golden Globes, I personally didn’t watch the Golden Globes as it’s the entertainment industry putting on a show for themselves and then making all of the world watch it, just like nearly any other awards ceremony.  It has nothing to do with me, really, and I’d rather do an open mic.

Report 00087

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Morning Debriefing 1/17/11
January 17, 2011
Uncategorized
big trouble in little tokyo, chris rock, comedy, comedy crawl, golden globes, la, lizz winstead, morning debriefing, open mic run, the morning after, tip of the hat

1) The fact that the Golden Globes lumps Comedy with Musicals in their consideration for awards is just another reason why people shouldn’t care about the Golden Globes.

2) The Morning After… Podcast just got featured in the LOS ANGELES EXAMINER.  Check it out here.  Though it’s a hilarious look into the porn industry, I’m pretty sure this is not NSFW.

3) Have the Walsh Brothers STOP and Greg Barris STOP $2 fish tacos STOP $3-$4 beers until 9PM STOP and nothing, hopefully about the Golden Globes though that’s out of my control really STOP Go to Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA) STOP 6:30PM STOP or you’ll never STOP hitting yourself. 

4) OK, Golden Globes are OVER now folks-time for a COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Cherry Pit 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand-by only)

5) OPEN MIC RUN:
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PMish
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:15PM
PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (on campus, nestled in between three dormitories near intersection of Figueroa and Exposition)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed 

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZ WINSTEAD-“@lizzwinstead Megan Fox is so brilliant she only feels safe letting very few people know about it. #GoldenGlobes” Lizz Winstead is one of the co-creators of the Daily Show.  I don’t think I really need to say more than that.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau for upcoming dates. Twitter. Website.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Chris Rock-Martin Luther King Boulevard

8) As I was not invited to the Golden Globes, I personally didn’t watch the Golden Globes as it’s the entertainment industry putting on a show for themselves and then making all of the world watch it, just like nearly any other awards ceremony.  It has nothing to do with me, really, and I’d rather do an open mic.

Report 00087

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Morning Debriefing 1/18/11
January 18, 2011
Uncategorized
comedy, comedy crawl, la, lewis black, morning debriefing, national comedy college competition, open mic run, rooftop comedy, serialkillerpickuplines, tip of the hat

1) Some big changes are coming to the Comedy Bureau to streamline it even further for even more “to-the-point” consumption of the best in LA comedy.  Stay tuned (even within this post).

2) #serialkillerpickuplines is one of the best joke hashtags that I’ve seen since I’ve been on Twitter.  Check it out for a good dark laugh.  @pauljaycomic and The Comedy Bureau’s very own @kabelion have some damn good ones.

3) National Comedy College Competition is now open for submissions.  If you’re in a participating school and damn funny, you should do this.

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-if you don’t have $5, then you have bigger problems.
Out West Comedy Show @ RoosterFish 8PM FREE 
Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only) 

7) OPEN MIC RUN:
THE PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed  

*Starting tomorrow on the “OPEN MIC RUN” will be listed as a route of suggested open mic daily on the Greater LA Open Mic Map.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to… actually, I’m going to scale the “Tip of the Hat to weekly event that will be revealed on Fridays.  For those fans of the "Tip of the Hat”, I’m sorry that you won’t see it everyday, but there will be a more extensive write-up of the comedic performer that the Comedy Bureau chooses to feature.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: is going to be renamed to reflect something more current and topical as what will be posted here will be comedy that is both relevant to right now and somehow happened years ago.  Ex. Starbucks came out with the new Trenta size and (even though I’ve already posted it) Lewis Black bit about Starbucks and the End of the Universe will be posted.

10) More big changes coming to the Comedy Bureau to make it better for all of you graciously and thankfully read as well as myself who makes the Comedy Bureau almost a part time job except for the getting paid part.

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This is a test…
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

…of our emergency broadcast system. Please stand by for further instructions.

It’s Saturday Night and I Need a Laugh…
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

On Los Angeles’ prime night of entertainment, one has so many options. One of those options, of course, is to go see some live comedy, but it is a firm belief of the Comedy Bureau that not many people know where to go see some great comedy.

That’s why the Comedy Bureau is going to do the work for you by seeing what it’s like at some of the biggest shows in the Greater LA Area at places such as the Improv, the Laugh Factory, The Comedy Store, and the Ice House.

Within the coming weekend, the Comedy Bureau will be out, watching for what is the best in laughs in LA on the best night of the week. Stay tuned for more details.

Morning Debriefing 1/19/11
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized
big trouble in little tokyo, comedy, comedy crawl, don rickles, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, sabor

1) As I mentioned yesterday, THERE WILL BE an investigative report as to where are the best spots to get a laugh when you need one the most on a Saturday night.  More details here.

2) Thanks to all that came to Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic as we went until 11PM.  YES!!! WE WENT 4 HOURS!!!  Thanks to the Walsh Brothers and Greg Barris for stopping by and making the night a damn fine one.

3) Only a few more days until Sabor Comedy Lounge debuts.  

4) As news in the comedy world breaks second by second, there will now be a significant amount of more posts on the Comedy Bureau, especially through the “reblogging” feature here on Tumblr and similarly with “retweeting” on Twitter (@thecomedybureau).  Also, several “in consideration” for a “Tip of the Hat” will be retweeted throughout every day.  Thus, check both feeds frequently to know LA comedy like the Comedy Bureau does. 

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL can be only described with one word: SHO’NUFF.
Comedy Show @ M Bar 7PM FREE/$10 food/drink min.
Merrillwood Live @ The Zephyr Theatre 7:30PM $5 w/fb invite/free for comics
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8
No Class Comedy Show @ USC 9PM FREE
Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE
Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5 

6) OPEN MIC RUN: there’s a “route” of sorts drawn upon the Greater LA Open Mic Map that now suggests the open mics that I’ve personally been to and are now worth your time.  Updated daily, that “route” will be the open mic run.

7) To those who think that what Ricky Gervais did at the Golden Globes was unexpected (have you seen his act?) and horrid.  Understand, first, they’re jokes, and second, this is nothing new-Don Rickles on Dean Martin Roasts: Bob Hope (Rickles is on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight)

8) Still, this is only the beginning, even though I’ve gone 89 days straight blogging about LA comedy. 

Report 00089

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January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

http://www.ustream.tv/flash/viewer.swf

shannonhatch:

Check out today’s episode of The Worst. Matt Braunger, Sabrina Jalees, Josh McDermitt, and myself discuss Vietnam bikini waxes, semen allergies, and get a song called “Cutie Patootie” stuck in our heads.

(Source: http://www.ustream.tv/)

Thank you for doing what you do.
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

You’re quite welcome.  It means quite a lot.  Forgive me if I’ve forgotten, but have we met?
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:371396

comedycentral:

Sarah Palin Invited to Come On Jon Stewart

On last night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart attempted to coin some new words to describe the rhetorical offenses of Sarah Palin, from “Anchorage Steamer” to “Palin-drome” to “Caribou Ball-Swivel.” Say what you will about Palin, but those terms are pretty hard to refudiate.

(Source: http://media.mtvnservices.com/)
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

emilymayamills:

TRICK: Bordello Bar Comedy. This Sunday.

Tig Notarro.

Garfunkel & Oates.

The Birthday Boys.

Greg Barris.

Paul Jay.

 Heather Thomson.

+ SPECIAL SURPRISE DROP IN GUESTS!

AND INTRODUCING The Trick: Bordello Bar Comedy Dancers:
All the Angry Kittens.

w/ DJ Denver Smith.

Brought to you by Brandie Posey & Emily Maya Mills.

Doors: 8:00PM
Show: 8:30PM

Bordello Bar
901 E 1st Street (@ Vignes) ~ Downtown LA

Free parking, cheap booze and a dance party afterwards. You like fun, right?
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

nickkroll:

This is the flier for Bobby Bottleservice’s 1 stop on a whirlwind tour over the next week to promote my upcoming Comedy Central special “Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool” premiering January 29th @ 10pm. This friday from 12-2pm, he’ll talk to you about jet skis, mansions, Ed Hardy, dragon tattoos and success in general. Stop by and get a free VERY LIMITED Bobby Bottleservice silkscreen signed by Bobby and Nick (and maybe more surprises).

NEXT STOP: NYC
FINAL STOP: LAS VEGAS

Meet Vulture’s New American Idol Recapper: Paul F. Tompkins | Vulture
January 19, 2011
Uncategorized

Meet Vulture’s New American Idol Recapper: Paul F. Tompkins | Vulture
January 20, 2011
Uncategorized

publicschoolshow:

True and dazzling stories told by:

Judith Shelton* David Park* Sarah Thyre * Megan Amram* Drew Droege * Shane Nickerson* Jonah Ray   

Hosted by the notably remarkable Dave Holmes

Morning Debriefing 1/20/11
January 20, 2011
Uncategorized
comedy, comedy crawl, conan, la, lizzy cooperman, marc maron, morning debriefing, neil hamburger, open mic run, showcases

1) Smells like showcase season ‘round here: Jan. 30th Conan Showcase @ Comedy Store, Several Just for Laughs-Montreal showcases taking place next week.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details.

2) I only just yesterday found out that Neil Hamburger had merchandise and that included items such as this…

Find such delights from Neil here, here, and here.

3) Marc Maron’s on Conan.  After you’re done seeing him at Bar Lubitsch (details below).  You should watch this on TBS at 11PM.

4) There’s a new open mic in town: Brassy @ The Zephyr Theatre (7456 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA) 10:30PM.  Sign-up is now closed, but you should definitely check it out as it is one of the best spaces in town.

5) The Comedy Bureau is going to get an actual domain name.  How’s about that?  This is all for the specific purpose so I can give people, hopefully women, an actual URL as opposed to, “Oh yeah, ummm, just google the comedy bureau”

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-All I have to say about it is: MAN OH MAN!!!
The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 8PM $10 presale/$15 at door (FREE CRAFT BEER) 
Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5
Comedy Speakeasy w/Jamie Lee, Karl Hess, and Nick Rutherford @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE 
Public School Show: Last Chance Saloon @ M Bar 8PM Free/$10 food-drink min.
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Writers’ Room w/Jimmy Pardo @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Live! at Carnegie Hall* @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM 

7) OPEN MIC RUN-*updated*

8) Currently, Snooki is one of the best selling “authors” in America.  This is a travesty and an abomination to the written word and our culture at large…. especially when there is The Turkey by Lizzy Allan Poe (Lizzy Cooperman)

9) Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes… You just have to say good night and go get a coffee and donuts at Winchell’s on Western and Melrose, then remember that you got laughs and get the 4 hours of sleep before you wrote this post.  Sometimes, that’s what you have to do.

Report 00090

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Redondo Beach show this Saturday with David Feldman, Chip Pope, Chris Fairbanks, Barry Sobel, Shawn Pearlman and more!
January 20, 2011
Uncategorized

Redondo Beach show this Saturday with David Feldman, Chip Pope, Chris Fairbanks, Barry Sobel, Shawn Pearlman and more!

I don’t know why I JUST found out about this, but, now that I have, here it is. (HINT: you should go to this as it sounds amazing)

Sometimes Facebook is magic.
January 20, 2011
Uncategorized

I accidentally added a “porn producer” named “Yeah ThisMe” on Facebook & he posted a casting notice for one of his “pictures” on my wall. Then he got roasted, HARD, by a bunch of comics. I almost feel bad for him.

Yea ThisMe: Attention! I have 2 position open for my new porn movie. The name of the movie is i can suck a dick better then you,no you cant! If that sounds like you drop me a line. You could start tomorrow!!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: Hey look, I think I’m going to pass, but I see you’re friends with Theresa Dringle. That sick bitch will do anything for money.
Yea ThisMe: Everyone who message me thanks but i fill all position! The people that i said i will call be i will thank you everyone for your support!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: No wonder you’re in porn, your grammar is horrendous!
Matt Lewis: sour grapes. Brandie
Brandie Posey: Y’know, I was busy tomorrow anyway. I’m teaching orphans how to read.
Barbara Gray: Brandie this is obviously the perfect place to showcase good twin/evil twin abilities
Yea ThisMe: Brandie was not on here for you i already been told you have bumps in your mouth. Sorry!
Brandie Posey: OH SHIT NO YOU DIDN’T! Guess I’ll never get to see your dick sucking lips in person, damnation!!
Yea ThisMe: Lol i dont use my lips when im having sex i have big 11 inch dick. Sorry bumpy mouth wrong person!:)
Yea ThisMe: Now leave me alone so i can go fine some pretty chicks.that movie is call, i suck the news anchor dick ttyl
Brandie Posey: Oh I completely believe your dick is 11 inches, THAT’S why you’re casting through facebook friend requests.
Brandie Posey: But bro! We’re friends! And friends talk! And share! C’mon, tell me how it felt when you realized you’d never contribute anything of note to the world.
Paul Jay: ‎”I’m an office manager at Disability Advocate, but what I really want to do is direct porno” -the worst person alive
Kate Hackett: Brandie, you have bumps in your mouth? …what, teeth?
Mark Oshiro: I’m not sure I know what just happened.
Patrick Melton: Wait a second, Yea ThisMe; Do you have to be a girl to be in these movies? I’ve got moves.
Josh Androsky: Hey, Yeah ThisMe, is all it takes to become a porn producer a 5th grade education and delusions of grandeur? Also, if you can’t understand what I just said (and I don’t blame you if you can’t– lots of big words!) you’re a terrible piece of shit. Kindly go to hell.
Paul Jay: So much weirdness. He only has 12 friends? One of them is Brandie, at least one of the others is fictional? I kinda wanna tell him I’m a sexy lady just to see which freeway he lives under.
Jim Hegarty: A brief phone call with this guy:
Caller: Hi, can I speak with Yea ThisMe?
Yea ThisMe: Yea, this Yea ThisMe.
Jim Hegarty: …Hey, Yea ThisMe, how do you go from being a Disability Advocate to sex on film? If you say ‘Amputee Porn’ I will quit Facebook.
Josh Androsky: Oh, and if Yea ThisMe is a fake profile, KUDOS. It’s really hard to write that poorly on purpose.
Alex Volz: dude! show us a picture of your giant 11 inch cock! that is so awesome.
Brandie Posey: My favorite is the photo of his daughter under his profile pictures – he says she looks like him, but she’s not rocking a sleezestache, so I don’t really see the resemblance. Also, that spark of intelligence in her eyes must be on the mother’s side.
Drew Koshgarian: it’s weird how sometimes all you have to do to get treated like a human being is to behave like one, have a human name, or speak human language. 0 for 3.
Drew Koshgarian: on a potentially related note, i don’t know that I’ve ever seen a more defeated-looking facial expression in a profile picture. Somebody get this guy into doctors’ care, for crying out loud. (not hot doctors)

The saga continues…
The Comedy Bureau: Anyone want to make “Brandie Posey’s Virtual Roasts”?

January 21, 2011
Uncategorized

mattbraunger:

Go to this. Seriously.

~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~: Mon 1/24 ~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~ Line Up!
January 21, 2011
Uncategorized

~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~: Mon 1/24 ~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~ Line Up!

whatsuptigerlily:

Last Week’s TigerLily was a stellar night of comedy! This week we have some favorites and suprises in store for the show! Plus TLily favorite and friend of the show Greg Barris continues his residency! So whatcha waiting for see ya Monday!

What’s Up, Tiger Lily?

Monday Jan 24th 2011 -…

Morning Debriefing 1/21/11
January 21, 2011
Uncategorized
comedy, comedy crawl, conan, la, marc maron, morning debriefing, open mic run, tip of the hat, ultimate free and cheap la comedy list

1) IT’S A SITE!!!! IT’S A SITE!!! The URL for the Comedy Bureau is now www.thecomedybureau.com.  It’s becoming more legitimate every day (though payroll is still quite an imaginary concept here at the Comedy Bureau offices).

2) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 1/23-1/29.  Thanks Wisepix.

3) In case you didn’t catch him  on TV and/or Bar Lubitsch: Marc Maron on Conan.  You’re welcome.

4) The new form of the TIP OF THE HAT is premiering today.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the who was the funniest in my tumblr/twitter/facebook feeds this week.

5) Two huge “one night only” shows TOMORROW: RED BAR RADIO LIVE @ THE MINT 7:30PM $10 and BEARDS OF COMEDY @ MELTDOWN COMICS 8:30PM $10. Don’t miss out.

6) Jan. 30th will mark the 100th day of the Comedy Bureau.  There will be a celebration of this.  Details coming soon.

7) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-NO, there isn’t a better way to spend your Friday night.
Destructo @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5
Risk! True Tales Boldly Told @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10
Greg Proops @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $20/2 item min.
Heart of Darkness @ Burbank Moose Lodge 9PM $5 
YooHoo Fridays @ Flappers Burbank-YooHoo Room 9:30PM/11PM $10/2 drink min.
Stood Up Friday Night: Superpowers @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5

8) OPEN MIC RUN-*updated*

9) It was rumored yesterday and talked “a storm” about on Twitter that Willow Smith was in talks to star in a remake of the classic musical “Annie”.  I don’t want to see any of that happen.  I’d rather see a “shot for shot” remake of this (having nothing to do with Jaden or Willow). 

10) Comedian version of “Another day, another dollar.”: Another show, and, ehhh, another show.

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January 22, 2011
Uncategorized

funnyordie:

Funny Or Die Presents tonight at midnight on HBO

Here’s another taste of tonight’s new episode of Funny Or Die Presents. It’s also a taste of Paul Rudd’s life.

Tip of the Hat 1/21: Joe Wagner
January 22, 2011
Uncategorized
birds of prey, comedy, joe wagner, la, midnight show

The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” this week to JOE WAGNER:

“@joeywags Twitter is like sending messages in a bottle. In a public pool.”

If you’ve ingratiated yourself into the Los Angeles comedy scene to any degree, chances are that you’ve seen Joe Wagner much like he’s depicted above, passing through, seemingly coming and going everywhere.  This phenomenon has much to do with the fact that Joe has made himself an integral part of LA comedy through writing, producing, directing and performing sketch and stand-up for almost 20 years (working with the likes of Comedy Central, MTV, Spike, and E!).

Thus, you can catch Joe in Zach Galifianakis’ “Live at the Purple Onion” as well as spouting brilliance from off the top of his head (upon which there is a torn red ladies’ sun hat) on the second floor of strip mall in a theatre that can seat about 30 people maximum on a late Tuesday night.  Both experiences are equally worthy of your attention as Joe is both incredibly aware and committed to such a degree that has kept me in awe-struck surprise whilst laughing at every turn.

Even when he is making fun of my little sister, which I asked him not to do, I laughed until it hurt.

Currently, Joe Wagner directs the fantastic monthly sketch show at the UCB LA Theatre “The Midnight Show” as well as the brilliant sketch group, The Birds of Prey (2010 Punchlist Best Sketch Group), and performs stand up when he feels like gracing us with his comedic prowess.  If you’re not following him on Twitter (@joeywags) or Facebook, fix that as soon as you reach the end of this sentence.

Morning Debriefing 1/22/11
January 22, 2011
Uncategorized
andre hyland, anna chapman, comedy, comedy crawl, deskpiece nation, facebook awards, jesse miller, la, morning debriefing, open mic run

1) “Best Original Status Update”-This will be a real thing that is happening at The Facebook Awards/The Zuckers Show presented by Deskpiece Nation at iO West on Jan. 30th.  Send in submissions for Best Original Status Update and Best Adapted Status Update here.

2) 100th post is only a few days away…. and I haven’t yet picked a bar to celebrate it at.  Stay tuned for more details.

3) Soon to come to the Comedy Bureau: weekly schedules for LIVE broadcast of both TV and podcasts orderi–, I mean (cough cough), strongly recommending what you should be watching and listening to if you’re at home.

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is much like a common hip hop phrase “y’all ain’t ready”
2 Milk Minimum w/Michael Rayner @ Flappers Burbank 11:30AM $10/2 item min.
Red Bar Radio LIVE! @ The Mint 8PM $20 
Test Pattern @ The Comedy Loft 8PM FREE
Comedy Extravaganza @ Brixton Southbay 8PM $12/21+ only
Beards of Comedy @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $10
Comedy Garage: Ski School Edition @ The Comedy Garage 9PM party/11PM show FREE
Twelve Shiny Nickels @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5
Laugh. Drink. Repeat. @ Flappers YooHoo Room 11PM $10/2 drink min.
Tomorrow w/Ron Lynch Presents Clowns @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8 

6) OPEN MIC RUN-*updated*

7) Russian Spy (former?) Anna Chapman is getting her own show on Russian TV for basically going to parties and being on Facebook.  Jesse Miller (Andre Hyland) does that, as he would say, “like a rock star” and beats people at his own contests.  He needs his own show.

8) Sometimes, you just have to accept people saying, “Hey, I liked your stuff,” instead of trying to convince them otherwise.

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