This is the flier for Bobby Bottleservice’s 1 stop on a whirlwind tour over the next week to promote my upcoming Comedy Central special “Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool” premiering January 29th @ 10pm. This friday from 12-2pm, he’ll talk to you about jet skis, mansions, Ed Hardy, dragon tattoos and success in general. Stop by and get a free VERY LIMITED Bobby Bottleservice silkscreen signed by Bobby and Nick (and maybe more surprises).
1) Smells like showcase season ‘round here: Jan. 30th Conan Showcase @ Comedy Store, Several Just for Laughs-Montreal showcases taking place next week. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details.
2) I only just yesterday found out that Neil Hamburger had merchandise and that included items such as this…
Find such delights from Neil here, here, and here.
3) Marc Maron’s on Conan. After you’re done seeing him at Bar Lubitsch (details below). You should watch this on TBS at 11PM.
4) There’s a new open mic in town: Brassy @ The Zephyr Theatre (7456 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA) 10:30PM. Sign-up is now closed, but you should definitely check it out as it is one of the best spaces in town.
5) The Comedy Bureau is going to get an actual domain name. How’s about that? This is all for the specific purpose so I can give people, hopefully women, an actual URL as opposed to, “Oh yeah, ummm, just google the comedy bureau”
8) Currently, Snooki is one of the best selling “authors” in America. This is a travesty and an abomination to the written word and our culture at large…. especially when there is The Turkey by Lizzy Allan Poe (Lizzy Cooperman)
9) Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes… You just have to say good night and go get a coffee and donuts at Winchell’s on Western and Melrose, then remember that you got laughs and get the 4 hours of sleep before you wrote this post. Sometimes, that’s what you have to do.
I accidentally added a “porn producer” named “Yeah ThisMe” on Facebook & he posted a casting notice for one of his “pictures” on my wall. Then he got roasted, HARD, by a bunch of comics. I almost feel bad for him.
Yea ThisMe: Attention! I have 2 position open for my new porn movie. The name of the movie is i can suck a dick better then you,no you cant! If that sounds like you drop me a line. You could start tomorrow!!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: Hey look, I think I’m going to pass, but I see you’re friends with Theresa Dringle. That sick bitch will do anything for money.
Yea ThisMe: Everyone who message me thanks but i fill all position! The people that i said i will call be i will thank you everyone for your support!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: No wonder you’re in porn, your grammar is horrendous!
Matt Lewis: sour grapes. Brandie
Brandie Posey: Y’know, I was busy tomorrow anyway. I’m teaching orphans how to read.
Barbara Gray: Brandie this is obviously the perfect place to showcase good twin/evil twin abilities
Yea ThisMe: Brandie was not on here for you i already been told you have bumps in your mouth. Sorry!
Brandie Posey: OH SHIT NO YOU DIDN’T! Guess I’ll never get to see your dick sucking lips in person, damnation!!
Yea ThisMe: Lol i dont use my lips when im having sex i have big 11 inch dick. Sorry bumpy mouth wrong person!:)
Yea ThisMe: Now leave me alone so i can go fine some pretty chicks.that movie is call, i suck the news anchor dick ttyl
Brandie Posey: Oh I completely believe your dick is 11 inches, THAT’S why you’re casting through facebook friend requests.
Brandie Posey: But bro! We’re friends! And friends talk! And share! C’mon, tell me how it felt when you realized you’d never contribute anything of note to the world.
Paul Jay: ”I’m an office manager at Disability Advocate, but what I really want to do is direct porno” -the worst person alive
Kate Hackett: Brandie, you have bumps in your mouth? …what, teeth?
Mark Oshiro: I’m not sure I know what just happened.
Patrick Melton: Wait a second, Yea ThisMe; Do you have to be a girl to be in these movies? I’ve got moves.
Josh Androsky: Hey, Yeah ThisMe, is all it takes to become a porn producer a 5th grade education and delusions of grandeur? Also, if you can’t understand what I just said (and I don’t blame you if you can’t– lots of big words!) you’re a terrible piece of shit. Kindly go to hell.
Paul Jay: So much weirdness. He only has 12 friends? One of them is Brandie, at least one of the others is fictional? I kinda wanna tell him I’m a sexy lady just to see which freeway he lives under.
Jim Hegarty: A brief phone call with this guy:
Caller: Hi, can I speak with Yea ThisMe?
Yea ThisMe: Yea, this Yea ThisMe.
Jim Hegarty: …Hey, Yea ThisMe, how do you go from being a Disability Advocate to sex on film? If you say ‘Amputee Porn’ I will quit Facebook.
Josh Androsky: Oh, and if Yea ThisMe is a fake profile, KUDOS. It’s really hard to write that poorly on purpose.
Alex Volz: dude! show us a picture of your giant 11 inch cock! that is so awesome.
Brandie Posey: My favorite is the photo of his daughter under his profile pictures – he says she looks like him, but she’s not rocking a sleezestache, so I don’t really see the resemblance. Also, that spark of intelligence in her eyes must be on the mother’s side.
Drew Koshgarian: it’s weird how sometimes all you have to do to get treated like a human being is to behave like one, have a human name, or speak human language. 0 for 3.
Drew Koshgarian: on a potentially related note, i don’t know that I’ve ever seen a more defeated-looking facial expression in a profile picture. Somebody get this guy into doctors’ care, for crying out loud. (not hot doctors)
The saga continues…
The Comedy Bureau: Anyone want to make “Brandie Posey’s Virtual Roasts”?
Last Week’s TigerLily was a stellar night of comedy! This week we have some favorites and suprises in store for the show! Plus TLily favorite and friend of the show Greg Barris continues his residency! So whatcha waiting for see ya Monday!
1) IT’S A SITE!!!! IT’S A SITE!!! The URL for the Comedy Bureau is now www.thecomedybureau.com. It’s becoming more legitimate every day (though payroll is still quite an imaginary concept here at the Comedy Bureau offices).
3) In case you didn’t catch him on TV and/or Bar Lubitsch: Marc Maron on Conan. You’re welcome.
4) The new form of the TIP OF THE HAT is premiering today. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the who was the funniest in my tumblr/twitter/facebook feeds this week.
9) It was rumored yesterday and talked “a storm” about on Twitter that Willow Smith was in talks to star in a remake of the classic musical “Annie”. I don’t want to see any of that happen. I’d rather see a “shot for shot” remake of this (having nothing to do with Jaden or Willow).
10) Comedian version of “Another day, another dollar.”: Another show, and, ehhh, another show.
The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” this week to JOE WAGNER:
“@joeywags Twitter is like sending messages in a bottle. In a public pool.”
If you’ve ingratiated yourself into the Los Angeles comedy scene to any degree, chances are that you’ve seen Joe Wagner much like he’s depicted above, passing through, seemingly coming and going everywhere. This phenomenon has much to do with the fact that Joe has made himself an integral part of LA comedy through writing, producing, directing and performing sketch and stand-up for almost 20 years (working with the likes of Comedy Central, MTV, Spike, and E!).
Thus, you can catch Joe in Zach Galifianakis’ “Live at the Purple Onion” as well as spouting brilliance from off the top of his head (upon which there is a torn red ladies’ sun hat) on the second floor of strip mall in a theatre that can seat about 30 people maximum on a late Tuesday night. Both experiences are equally worthy of your attention as Joe is both incredibly aware and committed to such a degree that has kept me in awe-struck surprise whilst laughing at every turn.
Even when he is making fun of my little sister, which I asked him not to do, I laughed until it hurt.
Currently, Joe Wagner directs the fantastic monthly sketch show at the UCB LA Theatre “The Midnight Show” as well as the brilliant sketch group, The Birds of Prey (2010 Punchlist Best Sketch Group), and performs stand up when he feels like gracing us with his comedic prowess. If you’re not following him on Twitter (@joeywags) or Facebook, fix that as soon as you reach the end of this sentence.
1) “Best Original Status Update”-This will be a real thing that is happening at The Facebook Awards/The Zuckers Show presented by Deskpiece Nation at iO West on Jan. 30th. Send in submissions for Best Original Status Update and Best Adapted Status Update here.
2) 100th post is only a few days away…. and I haven’t yet picked a bar to celebrate it at. Stay tuned for more details.
3) Soon to come to the Comedy Bureau: weekly schedules for LIVE broadcast of both TV and podcasts orderi–, I mean (cough cough), strongly recommending what you should be watching and listening to if you’re at home.
7) Russian Spy (former?) Anna Chapman is getting her own show on Russian TV for basically going to parties and being on Facebook. Jesse Miller (Andre Hyland) does that, as he would say, “like a rock star” and beats people at his own contests. He needs his own show.
8) Sometimes, you just have to accept people saying, “Hey, I liked your stuff,” instead of trying to convince them otherwise.
1) “If I had superpowers, the only word in comedy clubs [to describe comedians] would be funny.” –Rick Shapiro
2) Bob’s Burgers. 8:30PM. Fox. Watch it (especially as you’ll probably won’t leave your couch after 7+ hours of football)
3) OK, OK, OK… the blur of showcases for Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival are all coming up this week and later today the Comedy Bureau will post a nice neat schedule for all of you to seem where and when LA’s best will put up their best in order to go to Canada in order to come back here, but bigger and famous.
8) If you ever hear of Eddie Pepitone going to perform as Sven the Swedish Clown, drop whatever you doing and go and watch because it won’t be as funny as whatever you were thinking was funny that day.
As promised, here’s a rundown of the Just for Laughs-Montreal Showcases this week as LA’s best in comedy try to put their best funny foot forward to go to the actual festival then come back here to be more famous (hopefully).
*this will be updated frequently as more information is received. If there is showcase that’s not on here please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com.
Monday Jan. 24th Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM FREE-8165 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Paul Jay, Eric Charles Nielsen, and more
Tuesday Jan. 25th Three of Clubs 8PM FREE-1123 Vine St., Los Angeles, CA w/Brian Swinehart, Paul Cibis, Brooks Wheelan and more
Wednesday Jan. 26th Hollywood Improv Main Room 8PM $14/2 item min.-8162 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Abbey Londer, Hampton Yount, Ron Babcock, and more. Hosted by Matt Knudsen
Thursday Jan. 27th Three of Clubs 7PM FREE-1123 Vine St., Los Angeles, CA w/Susan Burke, Randy Liedtke, Ed Salazar and more. Hosted by Karl Hess. Hollywood Laugh Factory 10PM $10 for students/$20 general admission/$30 VIP/2 item min.-8001 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA Hosted by Mo Mandel
Friday Jan. 28th Hollywood Improv Lab 7:30PM FREE-8165 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Paul Danke and more. Hosted by Dan Ahdoot. Fake Gallery 10PM $5-4319 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Dave Ross, Julia Bensfield, Zach Ames, Andrew DeWitt, Mike Holmes, John Vargas and more. Hosted by Dan Bialek.
Saturday Jan. 29th Hollywood Improv Lab 7PM FREE-8165 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA Hosted by Mike Bridenstine Fake Gallery 10PM $5-4319 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Matt Claybrooks, Shawn Pearlman, Eli Olsberg, Tamra Brown, Allen Strickland Williams, and more. Hosted by Dan Bialek.
Sunday Jan. 30th Three of Clubs 6:30PM FREE-1123 Vine St., Los Angeles, CA w/Jake Weisman and more. Hosted by Hugh Moore. Taix 8:45PM FREE-1911 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park) w/Raj Desai and more. Hosted by Mike Bridenstine.
Monday Jan. 31st Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM FREE-8165 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Robert Buscemi, Scott Boxenbaum, Matt Manser and more. Hosted by Dan Ahdoot.
Tuesday Feb. 1st The Comedy Store Belly Room 7:30PM-8433 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA w/Nick Rutherford, Heather Thomson, Aparna Nancherla and more. Hosted by Dan Ahdoot. Genghis Cohen 9:45PM $6-740 N. Fairfax Ave., Hollywood, CA w/Barbara Gray, Taylor Ketchum, and more. Hosted by Karl Hess.
Wednesday Feb. 2nd Comedy Store Belly Room 6:45PM-8433 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA w/Brandie Posey and more. Hosted by Dan Ahdoot. Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 10PM-FREE-1523 N. Western Ave., Los Angeles, CA w/Tess Barker, Sabrina Jalees, and more. Hosted by Karl Hess.
1) You want something to donate to that will both fulfill that need to be a better person while simultaneously support some good natured hilarious people that I know AND even supporting people in their struggle with recovery from addiction? Go HERE and donate to the “We Are Not Saints” Comedy Concert Film Project featuring Ian Harvie, Felon O’Reilly, and Amy Dresner to accomplish all three of those goals at the same time.
2) Montreal Showcases Schedule. It will be updated frequently, I promise. (I just updated it ten minutes ago) Also, I can promise some of the funniest in LA will be showcasing, meaning they’ll “bring it” and it will be a good time.
3) The word is getting out-The Comedy Bureau is now linked in The Akaaba, a group of comedians and other live performing artists from around the country that all of you should definitely check out, the Serial Optimist, a side dedicated to being on the cutting edge of happiness (something that I would desperately wish to be closer to), and RentFoodBroke, a resource for the unemployed and the underemployed in LA. Continue good comedy folk to get the word out. PLEASE!!!
It’s like I called [my Twitter followers] on the phone and said that Sarah Palin has Chinese people living in her cunt, you know? So that context has caught up with me a little bit. Like, this is not what I thought it was when I was doing it, and so it’s not that I’m afraid of her. By the way, I said something that I think is true, I wrote one Twitter that I said, please find me a picture of Sarah Palin with more than one black person because I couldn’t find one. And then she went to Haiti a week later. She threw together a trip to Haiti. So I believe I made that happen. So that’s positive.
Trying to make it in the world of comedy is hard enough especially when you go night in and night out doing open mics to a crowd full of comics. What is the purpose of this comedy robot other than to further the depressive prospect of competition in our field?
NOTE: in the video, the robot registers positive and negative response through audio analysis of recorded laughs and the raising of green or red cards, which I would like to interpret as “getting the light”.
