marty’s – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 2/16/11

February 16, 2011

american: the bill hicks story, bill hicks, comedy, comedy crawl, comedy is dead, jim jeffries, la, marty's, morning debriefing, open mic run

1) Just a reminder: American: The Bill Hicks Story will debut in LA at the Laemmle Sunset 5 in Hollywood on April 15th. Please check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details on this as the date approaches.

2) Jim Jeffries on Lopez Tonight. THAT’S JIM JEFFRIES DOING A CLEAN SET on cable television and pulling it off. Well, just watched it and it’s pretty much clean until that last bit.

3) If nothing else, the name, Comedy is Dead, should be a huge selling point, especially when it takes place within a real cemetery and Neil Hamburger is on the line-up. Mar. 3rd. Hollywood Forever Cemetery 8PM $15. RSVP at comedyisdead@gmail.com

4) Whatever your opinion of Marty’s/The Open Mic, the open mic where you pay $5 to do multiple sets in front of nothing but comics 7 nights a week, 6 hours at a time, it was their one year anniversary yesterday. Considering that pure comedy open mics have been quite the high turnover rate lately, the Comedy Bureau extends a congratulations to Marty’s for making it a year.

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-Forget about the “hump” in hump day.
Web Series Unplugged @ El Cid 7PM $8
Just for Laughs Showcase @ Hollywood Improv Lab 7:30PM FREE
Getaloada Comedy @ Foundation Room-House of Blues 8PM FREE
An Anti Valentine Comedy Show and AA Meeting @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE
Fix-Up Show w/J. Keith Van Straaten and Special Guest Henry Winkler @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15
Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Comedy Central Stages 6539 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 8PM FREE Call (323) 960-5519
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8
The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8
Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE
Just for Laughs Showcase @ Laugh Factory 10PM $20/$30 VIP/2 item min.
Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

6) OPEN MIC RUN
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM
CAFE MUSE 6547 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM
LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM

7) Recently: We’re in the thick of awards season. To show you how much I care, I’m posting this clip of Jerrod Carmichael doing absolutely no material on awards, but is hilarious.

8) Stickers saying, “The Comedy Bureau Approves” or something along those lines, thoughts? OK, I get it. I’ll stop.

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Post Brunch Update 1/7/11

1) Due to time constraints and the limits of my own physical abilities, despite personal disregard for my own well being, the Comedy Bureau Morning Debriefing/Post Brunch Update will now be abbreviated to feature all things LA Comedy that need to be posted as early as possible. As such, more involved, intensive articles, reviews, write-ups, opinion pieces, etc. will be featured separately in its own individual post like today’s review of last night’s amazing “Fifty First Jokes” in a few hours.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL has nothing to do with any massive numbers of birds dying or any other signs of a apocalpyse, so that’s enough reason right there to go. Bob’s Burgers @ Largo-The Coronet Theatre 8PM $20, Garfunkel and Oates @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), Norm MacDonald @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $20, Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., TRICLOPS @ SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY CHURCH OPEN MIC 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/must work clean, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 Macarthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/msg David Marley on Facebook to sign-up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap List 1/9-1/16. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Tonight at Gallery 1988 7PM, “Is This Thing On?” debuts scores of artists and their take on some of the most prolific and popular comedians of the current moment (i.e. there’s a painting of Louis CK as a zombie.)

6) Marc Maron and the WTF Podcast was just featured in the New York Times yesterday, which people hopefully don’t attach to the simultaneous death of hundreds of birds just a few days ago like my Dad does (Dad’s opinion of Maron “He seems angry. Hmmmm.”) Just read it. It’s important.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to SHAWN PEARLMAN “@shawnpearlman It’s 10PM. Do you know where my watch is?” Shawn has some of the best, sharpest one liners in Los Angeles and you shouldn’t miss a chance to catch his cleverness. Website. Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for upcoming dates.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Josh Fadem Stand Up Pratfalls

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. That is… if you ever want to laugh again. (*note: I have no ability to make people incapable of laughter).

10) I’m on a show tonight that has a theme of “Happily Ever After”. The fact that I’m on a show with that theme is hilarious.

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Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Forget about the N word being taken out of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn and how he must be rolling in his grave LAUGHING and saying, “I told you so!” Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL instead. Persona @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/free for comics, The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, Fifty First Jokes @ Zephyr Theatre 9:30PM $7 (stand-by only), How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE OPEN MIC 1061 S. La Brea, Ingelwood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Next Tues. Jan. 11th. Louis CK will be dropping his upcoming album “Hilarious”. You should go buy it. I don’t think I can make this anymore matter-of-fact than the last two sentences except for this next one. Just go and buy it.

5) If you suffer from not having enough Marc Maron in your smartphone like I do, there is now a WTF Podcast w/Marc Maron app available for the iPhone, iPod, and iPad that you can stream multitudes of episodes off of or even be able to call the show when it’s taping. It’s Marc Maron for only $0.99. You can’t really turn that down. Really.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAN DOMINGUEZ-“@dandomingueznow And, Lo a pale rider, on a skeletal horse, and Hell followed with him, and behind Hell: Incredible savings! Over 30% off on all housewares!” Dan not only cheats the edges of absurdity with his comedy, but comprises one third of the force that is the Biggest Mistake Podcast (other 2/3 is Paul Jay and Jen Goldberg) and a major part of the “manly as f” site manosterone.com. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for show dates as you don’t want to miss whatever Dan is going to say next. Website. Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

1) It’s simply not enough to say that Frolic @ Far Bar is just a great show with a fantastic line-up of comics (which it is). With live comedy, running over 90 minutes, in my opinion, one enters extremely tricky territory as the audience tires, settles their check, and checks any pertinent e-mail/texts. Yet producer/comic Josh Rencher

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

Brent Weinbach,

Zach Sherwin,

Kyle Kinane,

Melissa Villaseñor,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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Morning Debriefing 1/5/11

1) Now for another edition of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”. The thoughts (as fragmented and schizo as they might be) of Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger/@blitzkroeger on Twitter.—PEOPLE MUST THINK THIS PART OF THE MORNING DEBRIEFING SHOULD BE CALLED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!! Really, how many people do you think read every part of this site? STOP IT ALREADY! You had a good comedy night. Oh really? Someone left Dec. 26th tickets to True Grit in the donation bucket at Señor Fish last night. Well, that’s bound to happen. Exactly how conscious are you as you write this post? Do you realize you’re calling this a MORNING debriefing and it’s currently 12:23PM PST? Get your shit together man (and you wonder why only 52 people read your post yesterday). It’s a start; a pretty good start, actually. OK, keep telling yourself that. Why don’t you write a bit about it, huh? It’ll go into the “you don’t know what you’re doing” portion of your act. SHUT UP! OK, got to finish this post, convince myself paying $5 at Marty’s/The Open Mic is worth it, and…. SHIT I have a show on Friday. Yeah, you do. It’ll be fine. Really, it will be fine. Oh yeah, I’m sure opening with that new “New Year’s” bit is just going to kill. Are you being ironic with me, right now? You’re funny. Thanks for that. Finally. ———– (those dashes are italicized)

2) I’m really trying to soak in the greatness of last night at Señor Fish and the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Thanks once again to Jackie Kashian, Andy Peters, the multitude of comics that came out, and $2 fish tacos. See you guys next Tuesday for another extravaganza and a half (maybe I’ll even have the Big Trouble in Little China Soundtrack by that point).

3) The Comedy Bureau staff actually got into a huge debate as what to post on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. The ordeal is fortunately is over and was strangely brought to an end by everyone getting their coffee and taking the office dog for a walk. You’ve Seen These Guys @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 drink min., Frolic @ Far Bar 9PM FREE, “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8/free beer, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland, Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/multiple sets allowed.

5) New Tenacious D album to be expected at the end of 2011. That’s all you should need to know for now. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

6) I’m barely conscious enough to type today’s post and I know I said I was going to say who to vote for Comedy Central’s Stand Up Showdown, but just check back at the Comedy Bureau for my recommendations. (in the meantime vote for Matt Braunger, Ryan Stout, and Mo Mandel)

7) Matt Braunger was on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. If you missed it like I did because you hate yourself like I do (that part is not necessary) you can catch it here.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LAUREN ASHLEY BISHOP "@sbellelauren well. we just beat ourselves. good game bourbon.“ Lauren is about to tour THE WORLD (she’s doing comedy in Africa in a few days). Forget about skipping to your local comedy club to do/see a few minutes about whatever is trending on Twitter. Sharp in her observations in her life and her views on the world, Lauren will hopefully come back to LA soon to share her comedic "wealth” (comedy, not money…. though money would be nice). Tumblr. Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy French Stewart, Burt Reynolds, and Sean Connery

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Someone really left tickets to True Grit from last year in the donation bucket last night.

11) Some people think that this might be my job because it seemingly takes up all my time. Anyone who wants to make that a 100% true statement, your help would be greatly appreciated.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

1) Why should you be reading the Comedy Bureau? Well… if you’ve ever read the mission statement, you can trust in the entire Comedy Bureau staff to keep you up to date on the best shows, open mics most worthy of your hard earned free time, all pertinent LA Comedy news big and small (all the way from Matt Braunger getting a pilot order from Comedy Central to when Paul F Tompkins is having a live tweeting event), and who really is on the trailblazing forefront of comedy in this town and what they’re doing to make it so, with the personal, one-of-a-kind personal touch of a comedian firmly dug into the trenches of the best and worst that Los Angeles has to offer comedy-wise (This is How to Make It in Comedy?). Just like when people frequently ask me how to get featured here, I tell them, “be funny and I’ll find it.”, conversely, if you want unequivocal, undeniable funny, keep finding your way back to the Comedy Bureau.

2) Boy, oh boy, we’re back in business with a regular COMEDY CRAWL and some of the best shows/comedians/people to make you laugh after sitting in traffic after getting off work on the first Monday of 2011: What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM, ARTIST ANARCHY @ PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30pm, SPEAKEASY @ HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St., Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up via e-mail speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com by 4PM/Starts promptly at 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) I understand if you just want to get home and have your comedy just done for you (though that’s pretty much what you do during a live show) Luckily, all you good folks can tune into IFC’s “Comedy Death Ray” w/host Scott Aukerman premiering tonight at 10PM and then catch Matt Braunger on the Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson 12:35AM on CBS.

5) “Is This Thing On?” Not only, “is it on”, the Gallery 1988 exhibition of 100 artists “taking” on representations of funny people like Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Murray, Louis CK, and many many more is something not to be missed. Starting this Fri. Jan. 7th at Gallery 1988, check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details this week.

6) Something that you might not know about the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic this Tues.: Señor Fish is open until 1AM and if there’s people still on the list, I’ll keep it running until then. Oh yeah, Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters are going to be there too. That’s enough reasons to go I think. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian My Vision Board wants me to get bi-focals.” This is Jackie’s second of the Tip of the Hat and I’m more than happy to give it to her just like I’m happy to go out of my way to see her because she is one of a couple of comedians who I literally witness “just turn it on” whenever they feel like it since they have the ability to do that. Also, her stories about her dad and husband are ones that need to be heard. You can do so tonight at What’s Up Tiger Lily? 8PM FREE, tomorrow at Big Trouble in Little Tokyo, and this Wed. at Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8 Website. Twitter. Tumblr. Dorkforest.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/3/11

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dr. Stangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb-Trailer

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau or I’ll fade out of the picture a la Michael J. Fox in the photo in Back to the Future.

10) If you’ve ever wonder the Comedy Bureau Offices look like, I’ll be driving my car around various open mics around LA tonight. No tours, however, are currently available at this time.

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Morning Debriefing 1/2/11

1) In regards to Huffington Post’s “50 Funniest People of the Decade”, do those in charge of “informing” the public on “what is comedy” even know what comedy is anymore? Within their end-all, be all list for 2001-2010, they, first off, include Anderson Cooper, a strict journalist. Out of entire 10 years of comedy, the Huffington Post Comedy Staff actually decided to put the names Anderson Cooper amongst names like Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Conan O’Brien, and Paul F. Tompkins, which can only leave me to draw the conclusion that, like so many other “Best/Most Ever” lists, this is more of a popularity contest. Just like winning the Grammy for “Best Hip Hop Artist” has no actual bearing on talent so much as it does Soundscan’s numbers on someone’s shitty, air-horn laden, drenched-in-autotune single, being put on this particular list of who were the funniest people in the last ten years doesn’t necessarily indicate that the person “defined comedy” in that time (which is what the name of the list leads readers to believe). I understand that compiling such lists are incredibly stressful and time-consuming as I spent nearly three solid hours composing #Follow2011LAfunniest, a list of who you should follow on Twitter in 2011 (which is way better than Huffington Post version, if I may say so myself). There is a constant debate, even with only one person calling the shots, in trying to decide who makes the cut, but, you have to be objective as possible with what you’re compiling the list for. Thus, Huffington Post should have made “The 50 Funniest People that I Happen To Know About and/or Are Really Popular” to be more accurate. That’s why #Follow2011LAfunniest has people that may not have as many followers as @azizansari, but are consistently funnier than him along their entire log of Tweets. Several people are surprised with omissions of this Huffington Post list considering they are comedians/writers that are much funnier than the one’s featured. However, in deciphering what that list is really based on, I’m surprised that names omitted include Larry King and Russell Peters.

2) Oh, look, all kidding aside, you could physically make all of these shows, for once, on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (as well as afford them): The Not So Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12 (stand-by only), ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS (call 310 652 6188 before going) 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STARTING JAN. 3RD (that’s tomorrow) Scott Aukerman of Comedy Death Ray will host IFC’s own “Comedy Death Ray” featuring a 90 minute block of now-comedy classics like “Arrested Development”, “Freaks and Geeks”, “Undeclared”, “The Larry Sanders Show”, and “The Ben Stiller Show”. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, tune in on IFC at 10PM to not only catch some of the best comedy series ever created, but Scott Aukerman and several other figures within the comedy world weighing in on them.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Jokes. Destruction of public property. Fish Tacos. Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters. Don’t miss it. Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN: “AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR [HQ]” Lizzy is almost beyond words, but here I am, yet again, writing about her comedic genius. Three Time Tip of the Hat winner Lizzy Cooperman is of such a rare ilk of skilled comedic performer that she still makes me laugh with the same jokes even though I’ve heard them 20 times. You can “witness” her this Tues. Jan 4th at Shooting Gallery @ Club 8572/Palms 8:30PM $10 or Thurs. Jan. 6th at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Website. Twitter. Birds of Prey.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ron Lynch-Comedian of the Future

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. In 2011, there are no other problems, except the Comedy Bureau having $nothing.

9) 2011 Comedy Predictions: Getting a Favstar 100 on Twitter will become more important than doing certain rooms/shows.

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The 2010 Post Brunch Update

1) Many who report on comedy in some fashion like to make “best of” lists at the end of every year. As with every list, there’s always debate, so, in the comedic spirit, I’ll stir the pot even further with The Comedy Bureau’s very own “The Very Best of ‘Best of Comedy in 2010” List featuring the top year end comedy lists as decided by Bureau Director Jake Kroeger himself. It doesn’t get any more “postmodern” than this folks…

1. 10 Moments Comedians Made Us Think This Year-Splitsider
2. 10 Best Comedy Albums of 2010-Amazon.com
3. The 10 Must Have Stand Up Comedy DVDs from 2010-Punchline Magazine
4. 15 Funny People We Lost in 2010-Splitsider
5. Top 5 Funniest TV Comedies-Huffington Post-Matt Wilstein
6. 2010 Wasn’t So Shitty After All-Mike Bridenstine

2) WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF another Saturday. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that there’s some great laughs to be found on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start with The Not Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12, then go to Michael Rayner @ Flappers Burbank YooHoo Room 7:30PM/9:30PM $20, then Christopher Titus @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $60, or just go to San Francisco and do the 15th Annual Comedy Countdown @ Palace of Fine Arts 9:30PM $60-$114.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: FLAPPERS BURBANK BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Starts 5PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/Starts 5PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List ½-1/8. Thanks Wisepix.

5) With the popularity of Paul F Tompkins Live Tweeting during a major holiday with his #midnightmass2010, Paul has decided to do it yet again with New Year’s Day and The Twilight Zone Marathon on SyFy. Follow @pftompkins after Midnight PST to join in the after hours/New Year’s fun while you wait for the Rose Parade (because you were waiting to watch the Rose Parade, right?)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to the entire LOS ANGELES COMEDY COMMUNITY that give the entire Comedy Bureau Staff/me something to write about everyday and the inspiration/will to write/perform every night.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: George Carlin-Modern Man

8) Donate to The Comedy Bureau. Leave 2010 on a good note.

9) Last night, a comic asked to be heckled, just like 2010 did.

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The 2010 Post Brunch Update

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List ½-1/8. Thanks Wisepix.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: George Carlin-Modern Man

8) Donate to The Comedy Bureau. Leave 2010 on a good note.

9) Last night, a comic asked to be heckled, just like 2010 did.

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Morning Debriefing 12/30/10

1) Now for the start of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”, an ongoing series into the psyche of a comedian (me/The Comedy Bureau Director/@blitzkroeger) after a night of comedy in LA—SURE, there were plenty of great shows as “confirmed” by the wondrous updates via my facebook feed that I could have attended last night, but instead, I chose to throw myself back into the pit/den of lions of trying out new material. Over the last week and a half, I’ve tightened my “holidays” material to the point of ad nauseam and decided to get back to work on deconstructing the norms and mores of dating in our times that mostly involves me getting “I’ll be right back” and “You’re too nice.” “You’re such a great guy” is another really popular one. In this spirit, I wrote out a brand new 7 minutes revolving around that topic. Actually, “grossly spat out whilst reading Twitter” would be a more accurate description of what was created. At the open mic, I nearly forgot half of it, remembering mostly just the punchlines and hardly any of the set-ups, transitions, intros, premises, etc. and it was met with the long bouts of silence and false sympathy from the “green” comic in the room who still doesn’t shut up during people’s sets that it deserved. In short, my set was mostly garbage and yet, I felt like it was needed. In being a comedian, as much as I strive to smash the place when I go up, I sincerely believe that a “humbling” set is needed every once in a while to let you know that you’re human and not comedy incarnate (For the record: I have NEVER thought I was comedy incarnate). Still, as honest you have to be with yourself when being an artist developing his or her art, you also have to lift yourself up and try to take something, anything from any performance, which, in this case, was about 5 or 6 lines that worked and actually got laughs the way I wanted despite me rambling them out of my mouth in an almost incoherent, depression-ridden fashion. Tune in next time at the Comedy Bureau to see where those 5 or 6 lines actually go…. or if I just lose it altogether.

2) I don’t have a New Year’s Resolution because it’s just another week on the calendar, just like tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is another damn fine night of laughter. Start with The 2010 It Sucked Awards @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only), then go to T’was the Night Before New Year’s Eve @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then go to This Comedy Show @ the Jon Lovitz Club 8PM $20/2 drink min./$3 valet parking special, and finish with The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Greater LA Open Mic Map will be very soon updated with whole new round of open mics for the new year for everyone to try their new year’s resolution material at. Check back at the Comedy Bureau very soon for updates.

5) Though this might sound traitorous, especially since the Comedy Bureau is LA based, if you have New Year’s Eve plans to see a comedy show, LEAVE LA!!! The best New Year’s Eve comedy event will actually be taking place in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts. The 15th Annual Comedy Countdown Dec. 31st 9:30PM will feature the likes of Laurie Kilmartin, Nick Thune, Charlyne Yi, Christina Pazitsky, the Sklar Brothers, and many more. Tickets range from $60 to $114, which is why I’m completely fine with going to a party and donating a few bucks for a keg back here in LA.

6) thecomedystore replied to your post: Morning Debriefing 12/29/10-Y U no Love? Two quick answers: 1) In doing the Comedy Bureau, I’m also a comic whose slowly, but surely growing incapable of the act of love. 2) I hate when people write like preschoolers attempting to draw and color. MORE TO COME SOON. VERY SOON.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WILL WELDON: “@oldmanweldon To raise awareness about violence against women I tell every guy in Ed Hardy that they probably hit women.” Hailing from Canada, Will has brought has sharpened observations to LA where have they been welcomed certainly by the Comedy Bureau and many others in LA comedy circles. Hopefully, we can make those circles aware of Will’s hilarity increase in size and/or number. All of you good folks reading this can actually see Will at What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill Mon. Jan 3rd, 8PM FREE and Fifty First Jokes @ The Zephyr Theater Thurs. Jan. 6th 9PM $7. Also, don’t miss his website, Twitter, or blog.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Banned Set on Letterman

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau… Tron made enough money, OK? Spread the wealth.

10) The rain has stoppped…. The skies are clear…. You can even see the mountains in the distance that you never knew existed… AND I STILL CAN’T GET THAT NEW 7 MINUTES ON HOMEWRECKING TO WORK!!!

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Morning Debriefing 12/30/10

1) Now for the start of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”, an ongoing series into the psyche of a comedian (me/The Comedy Bureau Director/@blitzkroeger) after a night of comedy in LA—SURE, there were plenty of great shows as “confirmed” by the wondrous updates via my facebook feed that I could have attended last night, but instead, I chose to throw myself back into the pit/den of lions of trying out new material. Over the last week and a half, I’ve tightened my “holidays” material to the point of ad nauseam and decided to get back to work on deconstructing the norms and mores of dating in our times that mostly involves me getting “I’ll be right back” and “You’re too nice.” "You’re such a great guy" is another really popular one. In this spirit, I wrote out a brand new 7 minutes revolving around that topic. Actually, “grossly spat out whilst reading Twitter” would be a more accurate description of what was created. At the open mic, I nearly forgot half of it, remembering mostly just the punchlines and hardly any of the set-ups, transitions, intros, premises, etc. and it was met with the long bouts of silence and false sympathy from the “green” comic in the room who still doesn’t shut up during people’s sets that it deserved. In short, my set was mostly garbage and yet, I felt like it was needed. In being a comedian, as much as I strive to smash the place when I go up, I sincerely believe that a “humbling” set is needed every once in a while to let you know that you’re human and not comedy incarnate (For the record: I have NEVER thought I was comedy incarnate). Still, as honest you have to be with yourself when being an artist developing his or her art, you also have to lift yourself up and try to take something, anything from any performance, which, in this case, was about 5 or 6 lines that worked and actually got laughs the way I wanted despite me rambling them out of my mouth in an almost incoherent, depression-ridden fashion. Tune in next time at the Comedy Bureau to see where those 5 or 6 lines actually go…. or if I just lose it altogether.

6) thecomedystore replied to your post: Morning Debriefing 12/29/10-Y U no Love? Two quick answers: 1) In doing the Comedy Bureau, I’m also a comic whose slowly, but surely growing incapable of the act of love. 2) I hate when people write like preschooler’s attempt to draw and color. MORE TO COME SOON. VERY SOON.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks Banned Set on Letterman

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau… Tron made enough money, OK? Spread the wealth.

10) The rain has stoppped…. The skies are clear…. You can even see the mountains in the distance that you never knew existed… AND I STILL CAN’T THAT NEW 7 MINUTES

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Morning Debriefing 12/29/10

1) Seriously, all irony aside, one great BIG thank you to everyone who came out to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic last night. IT WAS BLAST!! MATT KNUDSEN AND TONY SAM WERE A BLAST!!! EVERYONE WAS A BLAST!! In fact, management at Señor Fish has liked what we do so much that they’re putting an order in for a spotlight. How about that? The venue actually wanting to help the show. Again, thanks to all your support, only bigger and better things will come along for this room. NEXT WEEK ROUNDHOUSE KICKING THE YEAR OFF: JACKIE KASHIAN & ANDY PETERS!!! Don’t miss out ¼ @ Señor Fish!!!

2) Looking for a new year’s resolution, but don’t know exactly what to abstain from for a month? Perhaps you’ll get inspired at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Lettuce Entertain You (with Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Women Who Kill @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 drink min. The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Biscuits & Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284 1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 min./10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Corollary to Pound for Pound Open Mics. Note: Open mics on the weekend are generally pretty rough to do and I usually try to do other things comedy wise, but if you insist on finding somewhere to perform, here are my recommendations.
Saturday: Westside Comedy Theatre-Though short on stage time, people do occasionally wander in.
Sunday: Marty’s/The Open Mic-You do have to pay $5 and there’s no real opportunity for real people to watch you, but you do get to perform as many times as you want as well as experiencing a very diverse crowd of comics.

5) Now a word from some commercial sponsors at T-mobile. OH LOOK… it’s Barry Rothbart. (Note: The Comedy Bureau doesn’t have any sponsors)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JARROD HARRIS-“@JarrodHarris ‘Hey, everyone makes mistakes.’ – Wayne Harris: I’ll never ask my dad what it was like when I was born again.” Touring throughout the country as part of the Southern Comedy Quartet, Jarrod takes his very personal, painfully funny brand of comedy thankfully throughout the entirety of the Los Angeles comedy scene. You can actually check him out tonight on his show Biscuits & Gravy down at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Don’t miss out on his website, Twitter, or hilarious video series Action Figure Therapy.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Tracy Morgan Interview on Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Please x 10,000,000.

9) I’ve been writing for the Comedy Bureau for 2 months straight and just now realized it. I was really hoping it was a year before I had lost sense of time. Oh well….

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Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

1) As promised, here’s a very efficient breakdown of the POUND FOR POUND OPEN MICS for during the work week (going up on the weekends can be really tough and i’ll have a corollary to this list tomorrow) Selection of the following open mics is based on first-hand experience with the open mic on several occasions, the room’s overall inclination for performers to want to do material, having a chance of performing in front of a “real” audience", and then not dabble with the thought of quitting or committing suicide after. Check back at the Comedy Bureau daily for details of when and exactly where these open mics take place.
Monday: Tribal Cafe/Ground Zero USC-Tribal Cafe offers a great amount of stage time, Echo Park locals/hipsters actually sit in and listen, and no minimum. If you can obtain a USC student ID, Ground Zero is one of the best open mics as you could literally be performing for over 100 people.
Tuesday: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish-“Better than a comedy club in the OC”-Robert Blair (real person who sat through all 3 hours of the open mic)
Wednesday: Library A Coffee House-real people actually come back to listen to comedy, decent stage time
Thursday: Cafe on 2nd/Sandwich Spot-Cafe on 2nd has almost no comics and though there’s a $3 cover, you guaranteed 10 min. Sandwich Spot just has a great energy about it much in part to host Dan Reutter as well as getting a good amount of stage time.
Friday: iCandy/Trinity Church Open Mic-iCandy has a great energy about as new host/producer Shayne Michael has revitalized the open mic like a show. Trinity Church Open Mic is a great setting for working out material, though you have to be squeaky clean, as everyone there came to see the performers, intently listens, and wants to laugh. Also, there’s delicious food for a suggested donation.

2) We’re in that purgatory week, merely waiting for the end of the year/next time we can get unabashedly trashed while suffering little consequence because the mere changing of calendars apparently means you’re absolved of wrong doings. Start along that path on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Pop & Politics w/Jimmy Dore @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, then Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min., and finish with Incubator @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The entire Comedy Bureau staff would like to extend its congratulations to Louis CK, his show Louie, sketch group Birds of Prey, The Morning After Podcast, Rob Delaney, and Garfunkel and Oates for winning their respective categories in Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010. Check out details here.

5) Asterios Kokkinos ADDED 2 MORE TUMBLRS to his Family of Tumblrs (there’s 7 of them rascals now), one of which is actually dedicated to keeping you abreast of the details on all of the other “family members”. Check out Asterios’ Facebook Wars and all encompassing Asterios Kokkinos Family of Tumblrs. If you follow all 7, Asterios will make a personal photo badge of you to commemorate your dedication to his comedy. Like, Scott Bowser…

6) On Dec. 15th, The Nerdist Podcast took over the regular scheduled awesome weekly show Meltdown at Meltdown Comics and presented COMEDIANS YOU SHOULD KNOW. We here at the Comedy Bureau tend to agree with the Nerdist on that notion as it includes Matt Braunger, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Cibis, Jonah Ray, Kyle Kinane, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Fairbanks. Here is a live recording of the events as they happened.

7) It’s been mentioned several times already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is happening tonight!!! Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/raffles/yelling at Russell/Tony Sam/Russell yelling back at Jake/Matt Knudsen/$2 fish tacos. ALL AT SEÑOR FISH. Don’t miss out.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAKE WEISMAN wrote on Facebook yesterday “SOMETIMES I PLAY A GAME WHERE I IMITATE A MEOW AS BEST I CAN AND THEN MY CATS COME SNIFF ME BECAUSE THEY SENSE I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE NATURAL CARETAKERS AND YEAH I’VE GOT IT TOGETHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY.” As half the podcasting juggernaut that is The Morning After Podcast (Punchlist 2010’s Best New Podcast), Jake goes to any and all mics around town to talk about cats, porn, and more cats. He’s pretty damn funny about it too. Don’t miss out on The Morning After Podcast, Jake’s Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

10) Recently, a comic was surprised he was performing for comics at an open mic after Christmas. I am going to send this to Webster’s Dictionary as one of the examples for the definition of “irony”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO (call 310 824-0820 before going) 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

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Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

1) Hashtags. #whatthehellisthis? #whydoIcare? Partially as a necessity to promote one’s self as a performer and partially as an indulgence into one’s own belief in their own genius, being on Twitter for comedians, not only in LA, but around the world, seems like a natural occurrence. Many comedians indeed just promote their shows/videos/podcasts/etc. while others tweet absolutely everything they do while other others even go further and actually utilize Twitter as a sort of “open mic” for jokes that might actually might make it into their act. Taking that all into consideration, the newest and possibly most interesting “comedian trend” on Twitter is the “joke hashtag” where a random, arcane topic, such as “fat indie bands”, is preceded by the “#” symbol and has no spaces in between, which follows an attempt at that topic. Ex. “@blitzkroeger Rage Against the Blood Pressure Machine #fatindiebands”. If you like subjecting yourself to following 400 people on Twitter and reading EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR TWEETS, then you’ll notice that many comedians all the way from big time “names” like Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) to some excellent “no-name” writers spend a considerable amount of time coming up for more tweets to add to that “joke hashtag”, when they will most likely never in their entire lifetime on stage, ever use any of that. In fact, nearly all of these types of tweets are extremely pun based and I can hardly see anyone using them onstage ever, much less on tour/on the road where Twitter terminology is quite possibly a foreign language. Yet, as a comedian, I feel compelled, like it’s running laps during 6th grade P.E. to join in on the “joke hashtag” fest. As this keeps happening and my time to be productive/be the Comedy Bureau is eaten away at, I ask myself why do I succumb to this and I’ve concluded that joining in on these “joke hashtags” is the new form of “riffing” over dinner or while smoking outside that, above all else, keeps you sharp, thinking on your toes, and ready for something that isn’t in your element. As I’ve come to see the value in thinking what some more “#failedrockbandmovies” are, I would say to comics, perhaps join in on some “joke hashtags” to work out your brain for later when writing your own material and, sometimes (emphasis on sometimes) to actually have fun. #whatanovelconcept #articlesnoonecaresabout

2) For branding purposes only, I am maintaining the term “COMEDY CRAWL” for tonight even though there is only one show I would recommend. For tonight, go to Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) It has been brought to my attention that people actually read the CHAIN OF COMMAND section of the Comedy Bureau and are curious as to the nature of the other members. Consigliere Joe Braza, Field Liaison Jeremy Paul, and Assistant to the Field Liaison Russell Corona are all dedicated members of the Comedy Bureau hand picked by me/the Bureau Director himself to ensure that I don’t go completely insane in trying to issue out the “debriefing” everyday. Also, they take care a lot of heavy lifting and any ancillary dirty work that I need done. In addition to all of that, they comprise of some of the funniest folks I know. To all those interested in contributing to the Comedy Bureau, before you find me, I’ll find you OR just e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com

5) It was asked of me several weeks ago that I list the “Pound for Pound” Open Mics in the Los Angeles area for every day of the week as I’m the guy whose willing to drive to such mythical places as Alhambra and Carson and even beyond for some stage time. The wait for this list is over… tomorrow and then everyone can see what’s the best place to actually try out material instead of risking doing so when booked.

6) TOMORROW is the premiere of Part 8 of the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Don’t miss cheap food, cheap beer, cheap Tony Sam and Matt Knudsen, some cheap great laughs, and cheap “big trouble” at Señor Fish. Be at 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA at 6:30PM for sign-up and 7PM for the start. That is all.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAN DAVIDSON-“Interview with a Virgin” Being named one of the “Funniest Moms in America” by Nick at Nite might lead you to believe that Jan Davidson tells cute jokes about her kids, but you couldn’t be more mistaken. Jan is one of the more edgy, innovative, amazing performers amongst, not just mothers, but all comics that I’ve come across in my travels as the Comedy Bureau and certainly a joy to watch. Please check her myspace page and/or back at the Comedy Bureau for more on Jan and her next performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

10) In reference to my act, I was just told by my dad that “being unable to get a girl” and “hating your mother” are not relatable topics of discussion. I must be out of touch with our “zeitgeist” as everyone is APPARENTLY successfully dating and are members of a fully functional, totally agreeable nuclear family unit. My apologies Comedy Community/Los Angeles/America.

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Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

1) The amazingly funny LA comedian Asterios Kokkinos along with his “Family of Tumblrs” has taken comedy via “online minutiae” to an entirely new level. With what essentially is 5 entirely different blogs through upstart social networking site www.tumblr.com, all with a very specific theme, showcases the depth and vastness of Asterios’ knowledge of popular culture and his overall cleverness. From a blog about pitching “horribly awesome” screenplay ideas (Presidentbaby.com), to a blog featuring “What Happened on the Internet Today” (whotit.tumblr.com), to a blog that has transcripts of Asterios’ various hilarious online conversations (chatloggin.tumblr.com), to his own personal blog (asterios.tumblr.com), and even to a blog parodying Billy Joel standard “Movin’ Out” (6acks.tumblr.com), Kokkinos not only offers up several great ways to see his sensational comedy to the entire world, but does so in basically one neatly wrapped online package. Be sure to check out Asterios’ Family of Tumblrs and check back at the Comedy Bureau to see if he adds any more to the 5 featured here as well as when he’s performing LIVE (you really don’t want to miss out on that).

2) Done with Christmas? You should be. Don’t you dare go to a damn sale and succumb to things you don’t need being 70% off. Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, which will cost less than the mysterious $200 receipt you’ll inevitably rack up if you go to any major retailer today. Start with ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then go to Holiday All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min, and finish with Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6 PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL (call 323 851 5557 before going) 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Why wait until the New Year for this…? Christmas already passed, so here’s is the COMEDY BUREAU MISSION STATEMENT: The Comedy Bureau is, above all, committed to advancing the art form of Comedy in the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area and beyond as well as enlightening the general population about the funniest and most creative Los Angeles based comedic performers.

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

6) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is BACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK (6acks.tumblr.com) this Tuesday 12/28 with none other than TONY SAM and MATT KNUDSEN!!! I shouldn’t have to say anything else about $2 fish tacos, etc. Señor Fish. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ESTHER POVITSKY-“@Little_Esther I hate it when my slave pulls the "I’m your mother” card.“ Doing shows with Esther BEFORE Joe Rogan "tested” her, so to speak, by taking her on the road, was always a delight. The incredibly petite Esther is deceptive in her comedy with a dry, more honest sense of humor. Here’s her blog and her Twitter, two things you shouldn’t miss.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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