sunset grill – The Comedy Bureau

Morning Debriefing 1/2/11

1) In regards to Huffington Post’s “50 Funniest People of the Decade”, do those in charge of “informing” the public on “what is comedy” even know what comedy is anymore? Within their end-all, be all list for 2001-2010, they, first off, include Anderson Cooper, a strict journalist. Out of entire 10 years of comedy, the Huffington Post Comedy Staff actually decided to put the names Anderson Cooper amongst names like Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Conan O’Brien, and Paul F. Tompkins, which can only leave me to draw the conclusion that, like so many other “Best/Most Ever” lists, this is more of a popularity contest. Just like winning the Grammy for “Best Hip Hop Artist” has no actual bearing on talent so much as it does Soundscan’s numbers on someone’s shitty, air-horn laden, drenched-in-autotune single, being put on this particular list of who were the funniest people in the last ten years doesn’t necessarily indicate that the person “defined comedy” in that time (which is what the name of the list leads readers to believe). I understand that compiling such lists are incredibly stressful and time-consuming as I spent nearly three solid hours composing #Follow2011LAfunniest, a list of who you should follow on Twitter in 2011 (which is way better than Huffington Post version, if I may say so myself). There is a constant debate, even with only one person calling the shots, in trying to decide who makes the cut, but, you have to be objective as possible with what you’re compiling the list for. Thus, Huffington Post should have made “The 50 Funniest People that I Happen To Know About and/or Are Really Popular” to be more accurate. That’s why #Follow2011LAfunniest has people that may not have as many followers as @azizansari, but are consistently funnier than him along their entire log of Tweets. Several people are surprised with omissions of this Huffington Post list considering they are comedians/writers that are much funnier than the one’s featured. However, in deciphering what that list is really based on, I’m surprised that names omitted include Larry King and Russell Peters.

2) Oh, look, all kidding aside, you could physically make all of these shows, for once, on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (as well as afford them): The Not So Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12 (stand-by only), ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS (call 310 652 6188 before going) 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STARTING JAN. 3RD (that’s tomorrow) Scott Aukerman of Comedy Death Ray will host IFC’s own “Comedy Death Ray” featuring a 90 minute block of now-comedy classics like “Arrested Development”, “Freaks and Geeks”, “Undeclared”, “The Larry Sanders Show”, and “The Ben Stiller Show”. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, tune in on IFC at 10PM to not only catch some of the best comedy series ever created, but Scott Aukerman and several other figures within the comedy world weighing in on them.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Jokes. Destruction of public property. Fish Tacos. Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters. Don’t miss it. Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN: “AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR [HQ]” Lizzy is almost beyond words, but here I am, yet again, writing about her comedic genius. Three Time Tip of the Hat winner Lizzy Cooperman is of such a rare ilk of skilled comedic performer that she still makes me laugh with the same jokes even though I’ve heard them 20 times. You can “witness” her this Tues. Jan 4th at Shooting Gallery @ Club 8572/Palms 8:30PM $10 or Thurs. Jan. 6th at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Website. Twitter. Birds of Prey.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ron Lynch-Comedian of the Future

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. In 2011, there are no other problems, except the Comedy Bureau having $nothing.

9) 2011 Comedy Predictions: Getting a Favstar 100 on Twitter will become more important than doing certain rooms/shows.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

1) The amazingly funny LA comedian Asterios Kokkinos along with his “Family of Tumblrs” has taken comedy via “online minutiae” to an entirely new level. With what essentially is 5 entirely different blogs through upstart social networking site www.tumblr.com, all with a very specific theme, showcases the depth and vastness of Asterios’ knowledge of popular culture and his overall cleverness. From a blog about pitching “horribly awesome” screenplay ideas (Presidentbaby.com), to a blog featuring “What Happened on the Internet Today” (whotit.tumblr.com), to a blog that has transcripts of Asterios’ various hilarious online conversations (chatloggin.tumblr.com), to his own personal blog (asterios.tumblr.com), and even to a blog parodying Billy Joel standard “Movin’ Out” (6acks.tumblr.com), Kokkinos not only offers up several great ways to see his sensational comedy to the entire world, but does so in basically one neatly wrapped online package. Be sure to check out Asterios’ Family of Tumblrs and check back at the Comedy Bureau to see if he adds any more to the 5 featured here as well as when he’s performing LIVE (you really don’t want to miss out on that).

2) Done with Christmas? You should be. Don’t you dare go to a damn sale and succumb to things you don’t need being 70% off. Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, which will cost less than the mysterious $200 receipt you’ll inevitably rack up if you go to any major retailer today. Start with ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then go to Holiday All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min, and finish with Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6 PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL (call 323 851 5557 before going) 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Why wait until the New Year for this…? Christmas already passed, so here’s is the COMEDY BUREAU MISSION STATEMENT: The Comedy Bureau is, above all, committed to advancing the art form of Comedy in the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area and beyond as well as enlightening the general population about the funniest and most creative Los Angeles based comedic performers.

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

6) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is BACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK (6acks.tumblr.com) this Tuesday 12/28 with none other than TONY SAM and MATT KNUDSEN!!! I shouldn’t have to say anything else about $2 fish tacos, etc. Señor Fish. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ESTHER POVITSKY-“@Little_Esther I hate it when my slave pulls the "I’m your mother” card.“ Doing shows with Esther BEFORE Joe Rogan "tested” her, so to speak, by taking her on the road, was always a delight. The incredibly petite Esther is deceptive in her comedy with a dry, more honest sense of humor. Here’s her blog and her Twitter, two things you shouldn’t miss.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/17/10

1) If you love comedy in all aspects of your life, including your daily news, do not miss an opportunity to check out almost brand spanking new HahaJK.com. Bannered on the top of the site by founder Jamie Kennedy is what seems to be their motto, “News the way you want it-Funny,” which the entire Comedy Bureau staff, myself included, says HahaJk.com completely delivers on. Covering the entire U.S. News gamut (politics, money, lifestyle, sports, and so on and so forth), HahaJK.com has a plethora of a “possibly factual” stories that are made even funnier by “possibly” altering a few details such as this story about Carnie Wilson of 80’s female supergroup Wilson Phillips having incredibly difficulty maintaining her weight. HahaJK.com is just in its soft-launch phase and it already has potential to give the Onion a run for its money and certainly put the Huffington Post in its place, especially since one of the Comedy Bureau’s favorites Tony Sam is one of their head writers. So, in case you skipped right here to the end, check out HahaJK.com.

2) On the sixth night of Christmas, my true love (if I had one) went on a COMEDY CRAWL with me, well… not really. If she existed, she probably be incredibly pretentious and want to go to the Silent Movie Theatre instead, but that’s not the case so go see some damn comedy with Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, Destructo @ Meltdown Comics 7:30PM $6, Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 8PM/10PM $30/2 drink min., Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 8PM/10PM $20/2 drink min., Jokes from the Underground @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and We Wish You A Silly Spoofmas: A Holiday Special @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/must work clean, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) If you think that rain here transforms LA into some barren wasteland and INSIST on staying in, then you can watch Maria Bamford is on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS 12:35AM.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/19-12/25. Merry Christmas and big thanks to Wisepix.

6) Jimmy Pardo’s entire 12 hour Pardcast-a-Thon featuring a cavalcade (yeah, I like $3 words) of celebrities and funny folks is now available for download and still raising money for Smile Train, a charity dedicated to giving impoverished children in need cleft-palate surgery. They’re over $26,000 now, why not push them over $30,000?

7) Wonder what the Midwest/Dallas-Ft. Worth area thinks of LA comedienne/theWorst.tv’s Shannon Hatch? Of course you do. That’s why you’ll read this interview from Dallas based culture website Serial Optimist.

8) Several people have asked me how they can be featured on the Comedy Bureau. As the Comedy Bureau’s tries to rid the public of comedy “red-tape”, the Comedy Bureau staff maintains a strict policy of bringing the Great Los Angeles Metropolitan Area the best in the LA comedy scene straight from the trenches. Thus, all one has to do be featured here: BE ABSOLUTELY FUNNY.

9) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” Today to CHRISTIAN DUGUAY “@christianduguay Little known fact – all 7-11s offer a murder weapon disposal service.” Christian not only writes gems on his Twitter and does stand-up in LA, but he produces several shows for MTV including Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, an impressive feat considering many comics that get the “Tip of the Hat” seemingly spend almost their entire day tweeting/facebooking/blogging. Follow Christian on Twitter here.

10) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Robert’s Christmas Story

11) Tonight, I’m performing, chronicling, becoming the Super Man from being the “Clark Kent” of LA Comedy at the Hollywood Improv for Jokes from the Underground. Follow me, I mean, The Comedy Bureau on Twitter for another night of comedy misadventures around LA. Also donate, too, or else I won’t get to the show… most likely…

12) I’ve gotten to the status of “that guy who writes a blog.” I think I could end 2010 feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

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Post Brunch Update 12/17/10

4) If you think that rain here transforms LA into some barren wasteland and INSIST on staying in, then you can watch Maria Bamford is on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS 12:35AM.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/19-12/25. Merry Christmas and big thanks to Wisepix.

7) Wonder what the Midwest/Dallas-Ft. Worth area thinks of LA comedienne thinks of LA Comedienne/theWorst.tv’s Shannon Hatch? Of course you do. That’s why you’ll read this interview from Dallas based culture website Serial Optimist.

10) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Robert’s Christmas Story

12) I’ve gotten to the status of “that guy who writes a blog.” I think I could end 2010 feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

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Morning Debriefing 12/12/10

1) Last night, instead of performing/watching comedy, I was pretty much coerced into going into my mother’s Christmas work party at the Hilton Alhambra (one of the most Asian-centric parts of town) as a form of Christmas family time bonding, which is simultaneously a horrible situation I have no desire of being in AND a great source for material, especially considering the honest, personal approach I take to my act. Knowing that everyone’s process of developing material for performing comedy is drastically different, I’d like to offer a glimpse into my own personal process where I draw directly from personal experience. Listed below is a series of tweets I wrote throughout the duration of the party/death march of boredom/worst quiz I have ever sat through that will probably turn into 1-2 minutes of material (will keep you updated on progress). Perhaps, all of these random 140 characters or less thoughts will become nothing, but, either way, this is where my my comedy writing process starts…

-Surrounded by first generation Asians in the patient care industry. Already feeling uncomfortable. Step 1 complete.
-I don’t know why I checked Asian/Paciic Islander on any application. I don’t relate to any of these people. #jokesomewhere
-I have more in common with the “table 8” sign than all the Asian people here as it doesn’t tell me, “Go to grad school.”
-Currently listening to lounge version of Girl From Impanema, which sounds like the original if it was dosed with Ambien.
-If someone asks if I do jokes about how I’m not an Asian doctor, I would consider them heckling me in conversation
-I’m uncomfortable with how Asian-centric this party is; I feel about as asian as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
-“Go ahead and speak Asian! I wasn’t going to talk to you anyway!” something I want to say at this party.
-Yelling “I’m not Asian for fuck sakes” is a bad idea. Christmas Techno music… a much worst idea.
-Christmas parties like this make me understand why cyanide for human consumption was discovered. #toodark? #dontcare
-Someone who can barely speak English is giving speech; needs translator who speaks “shut the hell up I’m hungry as fuck”
-Knowing how to use chopsticks is about as Asian as I get. #igrewupinamerica #damnit #usausausa
-Phone was nearly dead and thus kept me from sharing my hate of this stupid party with the world.
-in a quiz for a prize in which the answer to why did Scrooge change his mind was because he cared about people #bullshit
-My answer to scrooge’s change of heart: fear of the proletariat rise #yeahimpretentious #ihatethisparty
-In a room full of Asians, the answer to How many planets are there in our solar system was somehow 9. #falsestereotypes
-“Tokyo is the most populated city, bitch and that motherfucker doesn’t deserve a TV.” Christmas brings out the best in us.
-Into hour 5 of this party and I just want to yell racial epithets so I can leave.
-Actual Riddle for TV: Harry died on land and people were happy, David dies on land and people were happier. Who are they?
-Answer to riddle in last tweet: they were typhoons. My answer: Go fuck yourself
-For big screen tv, we’re asked to pick out three distinct items in a picture of a bum and a volunteer. #whyamistillhere
-My next set of answers to this quiz are going to be shenanigans, gobbledygook , and complete and utter bullshit.
-It irks me to think why my Dad ever wonders why I appear to be angry on stage. #6hrparty

2) Going on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is a perfect alternative to going postal on people in the Grove parking structure because you want to show off this year at Christmas. Start off with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10, then Alonzo Bodden @ Brea Improv 7PM $17/2 item min., then Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 7:30PM $14/2 item min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then Please, Thank You, & You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, then The Comedy Crush Bad Sweater Holiday Show @ The Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min., then Sunday Sunday Sunday @ Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Comedy Bureau Calendars is finally updated in full!!! Every single club listed actually goes to there Calendars/Upcoming shows page. All of the minor inconvenience that remained on that list is now completely GONE offering you ease in searching for shows in LA unless clicking is a “big deal” for you.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian I said to him, "so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” After heckling Sam Kinison many years ago, Jackie has never looked back in her vast and successful journey as a comedienne. Touring throughout the world and having been on TV several times, she shares her uproariously funny anecdotes about her dad, her husband, and herself. Thus, do not miss Jackie’s hilarious podcast Dorkforest or her website, blog, or Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Jon Stewart Stand Up (1996)

7) If you read the Twitter feed excerpt from above, I think you’ll agree with me in wanting to donate to the Comedy Bureau. Do so right here.

8) As I stride further and further into comedy, I seem to know less and less “real” people. The “jury” is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing. The Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on my/its sanity.

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Morning Debriefing 12/11/10

1) In the last few weeks, both Larry King and Steve-O (after working on his act with Dane Cook) have both announced upcoming stand-up comedy tours across the country, which continues a growing trend of people using their fame/celebrity to go on a stand-up comedy tour. Even, John Mayer has been known to “dabble” in stand-up also, though not embarking “on the road”… yet, which would make it seem that the way to “make it” involves staging a bank robbery, getting a show on Food Network as a “reformed convict” that made a new life through finding new ways to deep frying foods that aren’t meant to be fried, and THEN go on a stand up comedy tour as opposed to working on my act at open mics. Too bad, I actually love performing stand up comedy too much to do that.

2) Rather than walking throughout various Best Buys in Los Angeles County looking for that “criterion collection” DVD, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL 2 Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., The Comedy Replacements @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), Jackie Kashian @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., Andy Daly @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $18/2 drink min., Matt Champagne @ Downtown Comedy Club 8PM $10, Comedy Show @ Days Inn Glendale 9PM FREE, Jen Kirman Album Taping @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd. St. Promenade (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Just like yesterday, Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Also, like yesterday, I still can’t afford any of these bids as I’m going to the 99 cents store for the major portion of my Christmas shopping.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to ROB DELANEY-“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, unless that friend FUCKED MY FIANCEE WHILE I WAS IN JAIL, MATT HALL YOU ALCOHOLIC CUNT.” Respected comedian and prolific tweeter Rob Delaney has almost 40,000 followers @robdelaney, which I almost can’t process as I only have 28. You can see Rob live next week at what will be one of the best shows of the week Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH @ Genghis Cohen Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5. Here’s Rob blog and his Twitter yet again.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Lewis Black-Starbucks

7) “The Comedy Bureau Donation Box has started collecting dust”-If we could afford a physical donation box. “Tweeted here.”-cheap attempt to gain followers on Twitter.

8) I’m pleasantly surprised that Miley Cyrus being legal and smoking weed is not that big of a trending topic online.

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Post Brunch Update 12/10/10

1) Persona @ Hollywood Improv Lab is where you can see the artistry in comedy at work. As an all “character” live comedy show, all the performers commit wholeheartedly to a persona (hence the name of the show), which range anywhere from "Reverend Boone Turde"…

…to “Jason Nash’s Father-in-Law”…

to Johnny Pemberton as a Tea Party Conspiracy Theorist.

In short, Persona is spectacular in ridding itself of all the conventions of a normal live comedy show that has a very neat structure of a showcase of comics or sketches and making a journey out of the entire experience with performers “interrupting” the show and interacting with the audience. The audience is constantly drawn in with “out-of-the-box” costumes, voices, and are genuinely surprised by the end of any one of the fantastic performances as shown when Host Tony Sam, who also played a plethora of a hilarious characters, choked a puppet of himself. Last night’s audience at the Hollywood Improv Lab got to enjoy the immense talents of Davey Johnson, Johnny Pemberton, Fred Young, Chris Walsh, Jason Nash, and the amazing sounds of Ogre Mage and certainly got more than their $5 worth of entertainment. Persona! will be on every second Thursday of the month at the Hollywood Improv Lab promptly at 8:30PM. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

2) Just because tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is manageable doesn’t mean it’s one to ignore. It simply means that you can actually make it to more of the best live comedy shows in LA. Start off with Laughs Without Liquor @ Plummer Park 6PM/8PM $20, then go to Jackie Kashian @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15, then go to Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ The Palms 9:30PM $10, then end the night on a good note with Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM, GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, SAPPHIRE LOUNGE @ NEWPORT BEACH RADISSON 4545 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, CA/Starts 9PM/Contact David Marley for sign up, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/12-12/18. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Punchlist Magazine is currently having their Punchlist 2010 which anyone can vote for via Facebook. However, sifting through the nominees might be a bit difficult, so here’s a CHEAT SHEET (I apologize if I seem indecisive on a few of these). Best Stand Up Comedian on TV: Louis CK, Best Comedy Show on TV: Louie OR Modern Family, Best Musical Comedy Act: Garfunkel and Oates OR Reggie Watts, Best Sketch Group: Birds of Prey, Best New Podcast: The Morning After OR The Biggest Mistake, Best Comedy Website: ——–(just pick one as the Comedy Bureau is not on there), Best Tweeter: Eddie Pepitone OR Cornell Reid OR Jim Hamilton, Best Comedy Festival: Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Best Improv Troupes: (pick at your own discretion as I have not been to enough improv shows this year to make an informed decision)

6) The Hollywood Laugh Factory officially broke the record for longest running live comedy show with their Comicthon with an astounding running time of over 80 hours. Finishing around 10:30PM last night, the achievement was supported by the likes of everyone from Dave Chappelle to a fearless Maronzio Vance going up at 5AM. This tops the previous mark made by the Comic Strip in NYC, which I myself will try to top by having a non-stop live comedy show within my own head without admitting myself to a mental ward.

7) Comedy Death Ray Nativity Pageant’s Auctions are still going for a few more days for the benefit of the LA Regional Food Bank. Go auction here for such exciting items as a private performance from Garfunkel and Oates to Brian Posehn and Steve Agee watching Steven Seagal with you to Sarah Silverman skyping with your family at Christmas to even a private performance from Maria Bamford. Bids right now are ranging anywhere from $120 to over a $1000, which immediately puts me out of the running with my “auction budget” of $5.34.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to KYLE KINANE-“@kylekinane The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. "Oh, look–another staircase that goes nowhere.” Honored to have him ask me what the name for a labyrinth was and give him another “Tip of the Hat”, Kyle was just featured as one of Comedy Central’s Breakout Comics of 2010. Just don’t ever miss him performing live, especially since you’ll have plenty of opportunities to do so in the next week at French Toast @ Taix Sun. Dec. 12th 8:30PM FREE, Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House Mon. Dec. 13th 9PM FREE, Sweet and Sour Comedy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH Tues. Dec. 14th 7PM $5, Blamblamblam @ R-Bar Tues Dec. 14th 9PM, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics Wed. Dec. 15th 8:30PM $8, and finally Elfin Funny @ The Echo Sat. Dec 18th 7PM $5. Kyle’s Website and Twitter; don’t forget about’em (even though they’re pretty much the same)

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: The Lads-Mike O’Connell and Matt Dwyer, Et Al.

10) If I tweeted more, would I get more donations. It’s a two birds with one stone type of a thing or just a convenient just to say it in one sentence.

11) For those of you waiting for me to be more negative, I have one word for you: March.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/5/10

1) The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre is actually the first pure sketch show to be reviewed here at the Comedy Bureau and I’d be hard pressed to find a better one to start off with. Interestingly enough, as the consistently hilarious host Brody Stevens left the stage after warming up the packed-to-standing-room-only UCB Theatre, I realized that I had not seen a sketch-only comedy show in quite some time, which, after last night’s Midnight Show, is something I am hoping to correct if it all possible. The collection of furiously swift sketches had this great absurdity about them that, as the show progressed, made me drawn in even further as an audience member to where exactly they were headed. One of my favorite sketches of the night that illustrates this perfectly was a fake TV spot for a futon store where sensational Hal Rudnick started off yelling why you would need to buy futon with a voiceover saying, “Futon!” at the end of each sentence, but quickly devolved into Hal making increasingly disturbing suggestions of not going “missionary” on a “Futon!” as that will break her pelvic bone “Futon!” With a fantastic cast of Nic Wegener, Hal Rudnick, James Pumphrey, Stephanie Allynne, Jeff Sloniker, Curtis Rainsberry, and Cale Hartmann, the Midnight Show startles and jolts in the best way possible on a very late Saturday night/early Sunday morning with sketches and video clips with the deft producing of Michael Busch and Megan Reeves and the superb, discerning direction of Joe Wagner. The Midnight Show is on the first Saturday of every month at the UCB Theatre (5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood, CA) at Midnight and only costs $5.

2) If you’re not watching Tangled this weekend, you should go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. However, if you are watching Tangled this weekend, you DEFINITELY need to go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Start off with Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10/$5 for under 12, then Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then French Toast: MC Mr. Napkins CD Release Party @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8:30PM $25, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, and be glad that you didn’t support 3D.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HAHA CAFE 5010 N. Lankershim Blvd., N. Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 6PM, PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STOP BEING A F’N SHUT IN AND GO SEE AMAZING WORLD OF ITS OWN THAT LA IS!!!! OK, if that didn’t work, you can watch Comedy Central’s Hot List at 10PM on Comedy Central featuring their top breakout comedians of this year which includes plenty of good folks featured regularly at the Comedy Bureau including Kyle Kinane, Reggie Watts, and Chelsea Peretti, that is, if you still insist on being a shut-in.

5) How about that? Merrill Davis in LA Weekly. That’s MERRILL DAVIS in LA WEEKLY! (Look, I typed it out twice so click the link and read it, OK?)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan I’ve been sexually harassing this woman and I’m worried because I don’t think she knows about it. #LayingItOnThin #TooSubtle” Forget about his Comedy Central Presents special, his frequent appearances on Chelsea Lately, and other spots on TV, Ryan is one of the sharpest writers I know throughout all of LA and just “crushes” audiences wherever he goes (got an applause break at my open mic) all in a very dapper suit. Here’s his website and please follow him on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Henny Youngman heckles Milton Berle 1966

8) “Reason #3,212 to DONATE the Comedy Bureau: (imagine you being hypnotized) Because you wanted to.” Just tweeted this right here.

9) People wonder why I’m so positive and upbeat in this blog for the majority of it. To those people, I say, “You should see my act sometime.”

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Morning Debriefing 12/4/10

1) ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS (part 1), the Comedy Bureau would like to educate the general public that heckling is not a behavior that is in ANY way acceptable no matter what your set of circumstances you happen to be coming from. It’s not a way to make the show more fun or as some “brilliant” people I’ve overheard say, “I’m helping them.” At a comedy show, as an audience member, you are meant to sit and keep quiet and listen OR if you’re not into what’s being said, have enough respect for the person on stage trying to perform their act in what is (surprise surprise people that don’t think so) one of the hardest art forms ever conceived. There is a discrepancy when the show is at a venue where the audience did not come for the show, but simply to hang out at a bar with their friends and are subsequently being “subjected” to comedy. Even in this case, you always have the option of not listening. With that all being said, if you are a person who came to see the show WITH THE INTENTION of heckling, you are UNDENIABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. In last night’s case, I had to deal with one of these “I am Heckler” types and realized that there’s a sadistic nature about the whole exchange. This person wants me to fail, to see me unravel as a performer, as if that is the way he will feel good about himself (sidenote: I don’t unravel. I deal with it and if you push me far enough, I’ll verbally rip you into enough shreds for confetti at New Year’s; ask Bobby Kern). As the show was at an “AA room”, I had reasoned that the guy felt like he earned the “privilege” to heckle as he was in AA and had as a common phrase among that crowd “been through a lot of shit”. Especially since the show was formatted to follow the AA meeting and we, the comedians, were not holding anyone “hostage”, I don’t care if you just came from a funeral; If you came to see the show, then simply don’t heckle. As comedians, whether we do this for a living or not, this is “work” for us and I will never go to the business where you are currently employed and say, “Did they warn you about us?” This concludes Part 1 of ON THE SUBJECT OF HECKLERS.

2) Steve-O is still headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend for whatever reason. For those of you that like to retain brain cells/your soul, go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers YooHoo 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo 8PM $25, then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5/21 and over, The Midnight Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 (stand by only), then Tomorrow!!! w/Ron Lynch presents Crapshoot! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8, and finish the night with your fist raised in the air a la John Carlos for supporting comedy that actually comedy, then actually good.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ICE HOUSE OPEN AUDITIONS 24 N. Mentor Ave./Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica (in alley between 3rd St. and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM./3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Good news for all decent people around the world that aren’t the aforementioned “I am Heckler” types: Matt Braunger along with Brent Forrester (writer/producer on The Office) has just gotten a pilot order from Comedy Central!!! Check out more details here and the Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on its progress in development.

5) The wonderful duo of Garfunkel and Oates are both amazing and delightful. However, I think they would be amazing, delightful, and life-changing if they performed in my living room. I can’t afford that, but maybe you can by auctioning for a private show from Garfunkel and Oates right here. This is life-changing because it’s Garfunkel and Oates in the privacy of your own home AND all proceeds go to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HAMILTON-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim Hamilton gets the distinction of being the first person to get a second “Tip of the Hat” and with all of the beyond clever one-liners he has, Jim definitely deserves it. You can see him perform live and for FREE at one of the best shows in town this Tuesday, Dec. 7th at Holy Fuck! in the Downtown Independent Theatre (251 S. Main St., Los Angeles, CA) 9PM. I’ll probably say this several times throughout the course of the life of the Comedy Bureau: follow Jim Hamilton on Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon-Bill Hicks’ Worst Gig Ever

8) If you missed the tweeting storm the Comedy Bureau had last night, check it out “open mic genius” quotes, etc. here and then donate because I drove from Long Beach to East LA to Fullerton to Garden Grove to Hollywood and back to Long Beach for comedy meaning all of you.

9) So in just over a month, 104 people like The Comedy Bureau on Facebook, 64 people follow The Comedy Bureau on Twitter, and 43 people follow us/really just me on Tumblr. Thanks everyone for reading and all the support because it’s only going to get better (especially if I make any money at this).

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Morning Debriefing 11/28/10

1) Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge was a great old-fashioned time, though in the freshest-hippest way possible. In what can be arguably the “hipster” epicenter of LA in Silverlake, the woman behind Space Boners and quite funny comedienne Barbara Gray manages to make an “alternative comedy” leaning show that is very welcoming and inviting to all. Despite many people thinking of “alternative comedy” as pretentious inside jokes about jokes, the simplistic atmosphere of the Silverlake Lounge coupled with Barbara’s fancy, ornately red and white curtains, which nearly every performer cleverly commented on (Paul Jay: Welcome to my Quinceñera!), set a nice scene for some of LA’s best and most original comics to do what EVERY comedian strives for: entertain a group of people in a darkened room from a lit stage. The intimate, though packed, crowd got an early holiday treat with performances from Dan Borelli, Vance Sanders, Paul Cibis, Jamie Lee, Paul Jay, Andy Peters, Tony Sam, Host Josh Androsky, and Barbara Gray closing out the show with a BANG/musical number (featuring Josh Androsky and Zach Ames). Whether you’re looking for something innovative and new in going out to comedy shows or not, Space Boners is definitely something to consider as it is completely FREE and will give you an enjoyable glimpse into a “different” brand of comedy without it feeling forced on you. Space Boners takes places one Saturday a month @ Silverlake Lounge, 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake) 7PM FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) I’ve never been a big fan of parades, which is essentially just standing, pretending to have fun while other people ACTUALLY have fun on intricately decorated floats/cars/horses/etc. Instead, I would suggest a better time at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Laugh, Drink, Repeat @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, Skinny Sundays @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, and Hollywood Underground @ Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Today is the FINAL DAY for submissions for Tig Notaro’s Untitled Comedy Tour. Post a two minute video of why your “living arrangement” is worthy of Tig Notaro and her friends here and you might have a damn fine LIVE comedy show exactly where you live.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic has gotten another sequel and will be having PART 4 this Tuesday with all the same great conventions you’ve come to expect from the trilogy and as well as a special guest performance from the one and only RYAN STOUT. Tues. Nov. 30th. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo/near downtown). DON’T MISS THIS!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JIM HEGARTY-“@jimhegarty ‘Either we break up or I murder you. So really it’s up to you when you think about it.’ #breakuplines” Jim performs is a regular on the LA comedy scene dishing out his great observations on family, Batman, and the Buffalo Bills in third world countries. There’s even more of this at his blog TallJim.com and at his Twitter here.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Philips Once I was in San Francisco

8) The Comedy Bureau LIVE TWEETS every night here and needs DONATIONS here and will tweet here about I do comedy that needs donations here and how repetition seemingly, for the time being, doesn’t work.

9) I have heard more TSA Pat Down humor than holiday humor over the last few days, which makes me think that comedians are tired of talking about their dysfunctional family holiday dinners and would like TSA pat downs to become a holiday tradition.

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Morning Debriefing 11/27/10

1) I have to give credit once more to Shayne Michael and the energy he has put back into the iCandy open mic/K.A.S. Comedy Etc. Show. With being one of the longest running open mics in the LA area, iCandy/Coffee Haven has seen its share of highs and lows and with a new sound system and a revitalized format that keeps a good energy about the room (i.e. booked show, raffles, etc.), comics who go to iCandy can expect to actually work on their material, which is the purpose of an open mic.

2) What better way to get into the holiday spirit than going to a run of shows that include the words: milk, asssscat, boners, back room, and family. THUS, don’t miss tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then Space Boners Gives Thanks! @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only), then The Back Room @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10, and finish with Ron Lynch and Craig Anton host a Tomorrow! Family Thanksgiving @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LAUNDROMIC 1054 Vine St. Los Angeles, CA/Starts 4PM, WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St (in alley between 3rd and 4th)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/3-5 min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) As it was brought to my attention, even though I knew I needed to get around to it, the “Bureau Approved” page is updated again with a section for shows and open mics. Also, the “Calendars” page got updated with Comedy Store Line-ups and link directly to the Largo Calendar. I might be running out of ways to make this easier for you guys… I’m just sayin’.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to PAUL DANKE “@pauldanke every black friday, I get up early, go to best buy, and when the doors open. I rob the shit out of people’s cars. #IPODSFOREVERYONE” When not chilling back in his jean jacket, Paul Danke absolutely rips it on stage. According to several sources, Danke closed out the Holy Fuck! One Year Anniversary like a hero, which is certainly no surprise to the Comedy Bureau. Going up all around town as well as his own fantastic show The Comedy Garage (run with Cornell Reid and Sean Green), Paul has definitely earned his praise for his stand-up as well as doing featured blogging for FunnyorDie.com. You can witness Paul Danke tomorrow at French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE or on his blog The Art of Coming Off Casual or his amazing Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Michael Keaton does Stand-up

7) Donate here. Live Tweeting here. Donate here. Live Tweeting here. (insert catchy jingle that’s so catchy you would actually do either or both of the two)

8) On the subject of handling hecklers: Why is there the type of heckler who interrupts your set and then applauds and congratulates you after you yell at him for 4 minutes ripping him to shreds as a person? There should be a new subcategory of psychological disorders in DSM IV that addresses this.

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Post Brunch Update 11/19/10

1) The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios was one of the best produced shows, thanks to show producers Joel Mandelkorn and Mandee Johnson, that I’ve been to in recent memory. Inside an extremely hip studio space (there’s a bar in the lobby), the set-up for the show was gorgeous. I almost didn’t believe I was at a comedy event with the all the camera equipment, the DJ spinning, food truck, GOOD FREE BEER (not that Tecate BS at most shows), gourmet cookies and cupcakes, and Christmas lights strung beautifully overhead. Already a cool, laid-back party, the Super Serious Show takes everyone’s good time and makes it great once the show actually commences. Every performer got to showcase their brand of humor perfectly as they were lit just right and everyone was seated intimately in addition to the entire line-up being truly some of L.A.’s best in comedy. Last night’s crowd at Smashbox Studios were treated (and then some) to the amazing talents of Sean Conroy, sketch group Birds of Prey (Lizzy Cooperman, Susan Burke, and Emily Maya Mills), Christina Pazsitsky, Marc Maron, and the music/comedic truths of Kirk Zipfel. Admission for the Super Serious Show is $15 at the door, but I say, with all sincerity, it’s entirely worth it. The Super Serious Show is on every third Thursday of the month at Smashbox Studios 8549 Higuera St., Culver City, CA. Pre-sale $10/$15 at door. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one on December 16th.

2) Instead of watching Harry Potter, take a journey on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL because it’s cheaper and won’t make you wait for the second half for several months. Try out Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, then WTF with Marc Maron @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, then The Fake Show @ The Fake Gallery 9PM $10, Tammy Jo Dearen’s Laughing Stock @ Club 8572/The Palms @ 9:30PM $10, then Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and end the night/not be possibly disappointed with a cliffhanger at Hot Toddy @ iO West 10:30PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd. in Silverlake/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/8PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood/6PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1019 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) On Thanksgiving week, there is plenty to give thanks for. Here’s one thing: The Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List. Thanks also to Wisepix.

5) Zach Sherwin AKA MC Mr. Napkins AKA all-around hilarious comedian is dropping his self-titled album 11/30/10 off of Comedy Central Records. Even if you don’t like rap songs about analyzing rap lyrics, geography, and bees, you should still be on the lookout for it because he’s that good. OR, you can just pre-order it on iTunes here.

6) The Comedy Bureau extends a congratulations to Shayne Michael as winner and Erik D. Schulte as the audience favorite for the first Joe Braza Comedy Invitational.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to Paul Jay. “@pauljaycomic Love is: not throwing a nerd fit when your girlfriend watches "Casino” in the wrong aspect ratio.“ Follow him on twitter here or check out his awesome podcast, The Biggest Mistake here.

7) "Misadventures” isn’t exactly how I would describe the nightly explorations of the Comedy Bureau. I think “ceaseless insomnia-induced sojourn” is more appropriate. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun. It just never stops. NEVER. Follow the Comedy Bureau’s LIVE TWEETING of “whatever it is” here.

8) I would like an auctioneer to say, “Do I hear….?” in regards to donating to the Comedy Bureau, but I think they would have to start off with, “Do I hear…. anything?” Change that and donate here.

9) What happened to old school hecklers that actually made some sort of sense when they were interrupting? In this last week, I’ve seen mostly crazy people wearing a bunch of hats simultaneously that just say, “My name is Taxi-cab guy. I like house music.”

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Post Brunch Update 11/14/10

1) “Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch” @ The Steve Allen Theater in all its chaotic hilarity actually spreads an air of actually wanting to “hook-up” as I saw several people, not on the show, exchanging numbers after the show. Host Ron Lynch takes the format of the classic “Dating Game” and nostalgically puts it through a blender to come out with an uproarious live comedy show. There’s an on-call bartender, Davey Johnson as a stressed out stage manager, Brady Novak as a warm-up guy who doesn’t think his career is going to work out, Cornell Reid as the warm-up to the warm-up guy, Randy Liedtke as a psychic/stage hand, “speed rounds” of questioning that no one has ever gotten right, and then the actual questioning of bachelors and bachelorettes for a REAL date. The packed Steve Allen Theater was rolling in laughter the entire time and definitely felt the love. "Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch“ takes the place of the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theater (4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA [Los Feliz]) once a month. Midnight $8. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for the next one.

2) I should really go with Comedy Triathlon, but COMEDY CRAWL is catchier and less intimidating. See how much laughter you can handle starting off with LIAR @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., then Chatterbox Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Comedy Revival @ Comedy Store Belly Room 8:30PM $5/2 drink min., then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5/21 and over only, and cross the finish line at Sunday Sunday Sunday @ The Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY CAFE 800 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA 5PM (going to check this one out today), SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA 5PM-11PM/$5 cover.

4) The Comedy Bureau is calling an audible by switching it’s Twitter Tip of the Hat to a Tip of the Hat of anything twitter/facebook/video/etc./etc. that’s worthy of mention. Today’s tip of the hat goes to the hilarious and incredibly bold Asterios Kokkinos. Perhaps "bold” isn’t the right word, but judge for yourself by watching him pitch horrible script ideas at a pitch convention here.

6) REVIEWS relinked. Just like I promised, though I broke probably 10 other promises in the promise, but when they’re promises to yourself that you would finish this post by 11PM, it’s OK, right? Again, updated reviews here.

7) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo 2nd Edition, this Tues. Nov. 16th @ Señor Fish. Shameless promotion tactic #13: Raffling off random Japanese Food Item. Sign Up 6:30PM, Starts 7PM. 422 E. 1st St. Do not miss.

8) The Comedy Bureau has “mission objectives”. See if it completes them via his twitter account right here.

9) Be the 2nd Person ever to donate to the Comedy Bureau and go down in history. Seriously. Doubt it? Only one way to find out… DONATE.

10) I’m just going to say being a nice guy both won and was funny last night. Usually, it’s just funny and then nobody wants to hear how sad it is several months later.

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Morning Debriefing 11/13/10

1) The Garfunkel and Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre took me by surprise, in the best way possible, even when I expected the “unexpected”. Having already seen the lovely and talented duo of Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome separately, I suspected farcical/risqué songs from the unassuming, almost incongruous pair (Lindhome is a foot taller and plays guitar next to the petit Micucci who plays a ukelele). Yet, their abundant charm coupled with their cleverly worded and obscure reference-filled (John Donne and Spiro Agnew, just to name a few) songs about douchebags ruining the party, sex with animals, and the learning curve of hand jobs, was far past anything I had in mind for the evening. AND THEN… Justin Long, who, according to Lindhome, has only been in Herbie: Fully Loaded, read published poems by Michael Madsen that could be described as transcendent… via a certain, horrible, undeserving self-importance. One of the poems is merely about watching out for “the shit” because it’s “everywhere”. It was another thing in the Garfunkel and Oates Hour that completely blindsided me as I usually don’t expect much out of big-shot actors performing live comedy. The Garfunkel and Oates Hour is every 2nd Friday of the month at the UCB Theatre, 5919 Franklin Ave. 8PM/$10. They also perform at several other venues/dates around LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details.

2) Yeah, I know it’s Saturday and Manny Pacquiao is going to beat whatever daylights that Antonio Margarito has left in him, which is EXACTLY the point. I KNOW THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. There’s no suspense left, which is why you should go see some great live comedy instead. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL starts off with Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 drink min., then B.O.R.E.D. Tour starring Mike Phirman @ Flappers Burbank-YooHoo Room 9:30PM $10/2 drink min., then Nick Kroll Does Comedy @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only), then The Twelve Shiny Nickels Show @ The Fake Gallery 11PM $5, then Showbizzle.com’s Last Call Comedy @ Hollywood Improv 11:30PM $14/2 item min., then Midnight Madness @ The Hollywood Laugh Factory 11:59PM $20/2 drink min., and then finish strong with a knockout at Ron Lynch’s Tomorrow! presents HOOK-UP! @ The Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: MARTY’S 5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), SUNSET GRILL 7PM/one item min./7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA, BURBANK MOOSE LODGE 7:30PM/1901 W. Burbank Blvd. Call (818)-843-0284 before going as I’ve never tried this mic before.

4) Today’s Comedy Bureau’s Twitter Tip of the Hat goes to JIM HAMILTON. “@Jim_Hamilton I don’t know what to wear this time of year, because the only clothes I own are Hypercolor shirts and Christmas sweaters.” Follow him and some of the best one-liners in LA here.

5) The Greater LA Open Mic Map has been updated, specifically put in order by day and time so it’s EVEN EASIER for any and all of you aspiring/working/making-it comics wanting to find an open mic. Any listings without details are as such because I have yet to actually go there and see how horrible/tolerable it is. More info on each individual room to be added soon. Check all of the above here.

6) That REVIEWS archive I promised, right here. Everything will be re-linked tomorrow, mostly so I have something else to write about.

7) Follow the Comedy Bureau on its not-all-that-secret mission to bring great comedy out to the deserving public on twitter as it live tweets every night. Do so right here.

8) I wonder what a Comedy Bureau jingle would sound like… support/donate and find out here.

9) I convinced someone to try stand-up last night and I can’t help but wonder if I did a bad thing… He might have been President, but now he’ll try to be one of us wondering what angle about the President hasn’t been explored at an open mic. Luckily, I don’t believe in karma.

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