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Morning Debriefing 12/12/10

1) Last night, instead of performing/watching comedy, I was pretty much coerced into going into my mother’s Christmas work party at the Hilton Alhambra (one of the most Asian-centric parts of town) as a form of Christmas family time bonding, which is simultaneously a horrible situation I have no desire of being in AND a great source for material, especially considering the honest, personal approach I take to my act. Knowing that everyone’s process of developing material for performing comedy is drastically different, I’d like to offer a glimpse into my own personal process where I draw directly from personal experience. Listed below is a series of tweets I wrote throughout the duration of the party/death march of boredom/worst quiz I have ever sat through that will probably turn into 1-2 minutes of material (will keep you updated on progress). Perhaps, all of these random 140 characters or less thoughts will become nothing, but, either way, this is where my my comedy writing process starts…

-Surrounded by first generation Asians in the patient care industry. Already feeling uncomfortable. Step 1 complete.
-I don’t know why I checked Asian/Paciic Islander on any application. I don’t relate to any of these people. #jokesomewhere
-I have more in common with the “table 8” sign than all the Asian people here as it doesn’t tell me, “Go to grad school.”
-Currently listening to lounge version of Girl From Impanema, which sounds like the original if it was dosed with Ambien.
-If someone asks if I do jokes about how I’m not an Asian doctor, I would consider them heckling me in conversation
-I’m uncomfortable with how Asian-centric this party is; I feel about as asian as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
-“Go ahead and speak Asian! I wasn’t going to talk to you anyway!” something I want to say at this party.
-Yelling “I’m not Asian for fuck sakes” is a bad idea. Christmas Techno music… a much worst idea.
-Christmas parties like this make me understand why cyanide for human consumption was discovered. #toodark? #dontcare
-Someone who can barely speak English is giving speech; needs translator who speaks “shut the hell up I’m hungry as fuck”
-Knowing how to use chopsticks is about as Asian as I get. #igrewupinamerica #damnit #usausausa
-Phone was nearly dead and thus kept me from sharing my hate of this stupid party with the world.
-in a quiz for a prize in which the answer to why did Scrooge change his mind was because he cared about people #bullshit
-My answer to scrooge’s change of heart: fear of the proletariat rise #yeahimpretentious #ihatethisparty
-In a room full of Asians, the answer to How many planets are there in our solar system was somehow 9. #falsestereotypes
-“Tokyo is the most populated city, bitch and that motherfucker doesn’t deserve a TV.” Christmas brings out the best in us.
-Into hour 5 of this party and I just want to yell racial epithets so I can leave.
-Actual Riddle for TV: Harry died on land and people were happy, David dies on land and people were happier. Who are they?
-Answer to riddle in last tweet: they were typhoons. My answer: Go fuck yourself
-For big screen tv, we’re asked to pick out three distinct items in a picture of a bum and a volunteer. #whyamistillhere
-My next set of answers to this quiz are going to be shenanigans, gobbledygook , and complete and utter bullshit.
-It irks me to think why my Dad ever wonders why I appear to be angry on stage. #6hrparty

2) Going on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is a perfect alternative to going postal on people in the Grove parking structure because you want to show off this year at Christmas. Start off with Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2, then Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10, then Alonzo Bodden @ Brea Improv 7PM $17/2 item min., then Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 7:30PM $14/2 item min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Comedy Night @ Chatterbox 8PM FREE, then Please, Thank You, & You’re Welcome @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, then The Comedy Crush Bad Sweater Holiday Show @ The Hollywood Improv 9:30PM $14/2 item min., then Sunday Sunday Sunday @ Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The Comedy Bureau Calendars is finally updated in full!!! Every single club listed actually goes to there Calendars/Upcoming shows page. All of the minor inconvenience that remained on that list is now completely GONE offering you ease in searching for shows in LA unless clicking is a “big deal” for you.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JACKIE KASHIAN-“@jackiekashian I said to him, "so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” After heckling Sam Kinison many years ago, Jackie has never looked back in her vast and successful journey as a comedienne. Touring throughout the world and having been on TV several times, she shares her uproariously funny anecdotes about her dad, her husband, and herself. Thus, do not miss Jackie’s hilarious podcast Dorkforest or her website, blog, or Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Jon Stewart Stand Up (1996)

7) If you read the Twitter feed excerpt from above, I think you’ll agree with me in wanting to donate to the Comedy Bureau. Do so right here.

8) As I stride further and further into comedy, I seem to know less and less “real” people. The “jury” is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing. The Comedy Bureau will keep you updated on my/its sanity.

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Morning Debriefing 12/13/10

1) French Toast @ Taix is the “pleasant surprise” kind of a show. Actually, it’s one hell of a surprise as you are sitting in the lounge of French countryside themed restaurant in Echo Park, Taix, an establishment where comedy might just seem out of place, thinking, “How exactly is this show going to happen?” and then are in for a comedy treat almost in the spirit of the name of the show. Taking cues from comedy venues of the past, French Toast puts on their show right in front of a brick wall with a lovely decorative fireplace and give you a good old fashioned stand-up comedy show with some of the best, trailblazing comics, up n’ coming comics in the country.

Without EVER running too long, host/co-founder Margie Kment

and guest host Heidi Hayward

(co-founder/normal co-host Zach Sherwin could not be in attendance) ensure a tightly run show that proves Margie’s own words of “keep them wanting more.” Last night’s incredibly lucky crowd of both comedy fans and open minded people that stuck around for the show were treated to the likes of comics such as Kyle Kinane (pictured at top), Maria Bamford,

Paul Jay,

Holly Mills,

Nick Thune,

and TJ Miller. Anywhere else in the country, outside of NYC and maybe Chicago, it’s nearly impossible to have a line-up like this in such an intimate venue without charging the audience a single penny to watch the show. In other words, don’t let your Sunday nights in LA drift off in a stupor of watching whatever happens to be on TV, when there’s a great free comedy show. French Toast is on every Sunday at Taix (1911 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA in Echo Park) for FREE. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) While your plans for world domination are still in their formative stages, take a break and go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: start off with What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, then go to The Happy Tiki Comedy Show @ Puka Bar 8PM FREE, then go to Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE, then Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 9PM $5, then Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House w/Ed Greer, Levi MacDougall, Matt Peters, Tess Barker, Michael Gelbart, and Rye Silverman (1739 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA in Los Feliz) 10PM FREE, then finish with a “yippee-kay-yea motherfucker” at 1988 Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand-by only)

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/One item min., CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish, TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM, CASEY’S 613 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles, CA (Downtown)/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 8PM, SECOND CITY HOLLYWOOD 6560 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 9PM/$5, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) RT @thecomedybureau @pauljaycomic suggested wearing some sort of reporters fedora with a press pass sticking out of it when out as the Comedy Bureau. Thoughts?

5) THANK YOU PunchlineMagazine.com: Louis C.K.’s “Hilarious” will debut on Comedy Central on Jan. 9 at 10 pm EST; DVD out Jan. 11. You’re welcome.

6) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is yet invited back again to Little Tokyo (near downtown) Why? Maybe because we have special guests TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!?!? Don’t miss it tomorrow @ Señor Fish (422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA). Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ROBERT YASUMURA- “@teamyasumura At what point does Fox News just come out and condemn Galileo?” Known throughout comedy circles in LA as one of the well-respected hosts of the Westwood Brew Co. open mic on Tues., Robert has been a fixture in the LA Comedy scene for quite some time. Robert takes his incredibly sharp wit and deadpan demeanor from mics across town to through a thousand people’s Twitter feeds and should not be missed by you. Here’s Robert’s website and Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor “Being Cool” on the Ed Sullivan Show

9) Want to guess how long it took to write this post as well as edit all the pictures and do all the research for all the shows and open mics and go through everyone’s twitter, tumblr, and facebook feeds and write this very sentence? Donate to the Comedy Bureau and I’ll tell you if you got it right.

10) As you have already read or will very soon read, this is the 50th post of the Comedy Bureau…. which doesn’t really mean anything other than I’m 50 days past moderate to passable brain-to-common sense cooperation.

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Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

1) The following is a page from one of my various comedy notebooks. I almost forgot that I had written this down, but I’ll just say this is probably something that all of comedians and comediennes go through. Well, I hope so….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is one for the ages, certainly this year, and one that I won’t waste on clever quips and metaphors. LET’S GO to Sweet and Sour ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY BASH/LAST SHOW EVER @ Genghis Cohen 7PM $5 (free for comics w/RSVP), then Pink Door Cancer Fundraiser for Joan Miracle and Linda Gysin @ Harvelle’s Blues Bar 7:30PM $20, then Out West Holiday Extravaganza @ RoosterFish 8PM $5, then Drew Carey and the Improv All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy Death Ray Best Christmas Nativity Pageant Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $25 (stand by only), then Hamclown 2 @ Alexandria Hotel (2nd Floor/The Mezz) 8:30PM FREE, then Blamblamblam @ R-Bar 9PM FREE, and if you’re still alive, finish with G-damn Comedy Jam @ Mare’ka 9PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near Downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, THE COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

6) As mentioned in the “Open Mic Run” feature above, THERE GON’ BE SOME BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! TONY SAM AND JAMIE LEE GON’ BRING THE PAIN!!! (no structures and/or person/persons shall be harmed during the duration of this open mic) As always, $2 fish tacos, delicious potatoes tacos, $3 domestic/$4 imported, and raffles a plenty down at SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JOSH FADEM-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Spinning, whirring, and crashing throughout on any given night on any given stage, Josh Fadem combines a smart sense of humor with the comedic sensibilities of Tex Avery and is quite the treat to see live. That’s why he’s one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch of this year. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show Also, don’t miss him on Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

10) Since none of you got back to me on the idea of wearing a reporter’s fedora when out at the Comedy Bureau, I’ll just go ahead and do it and perhaps suffer the consequences, if there are any, or…. yeah, that’s probably the only thing that’ll happen.

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Morning Debriefing 12/14/10

4) STRAIGHT UP!!! Jesse Miller Talk Show T-shirts on sale! Right here. Right now.

5) I decided to give a fake lecture on Hamlet last night at an open mic. TJ Miller decided otherwise. Here’s TJ Miller on Conan in case you were doing something exactly like me.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-Stand Up Throw Up

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau and THEN I’ll find out if it’s tax deductible/a good deed for the day.

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Y U No Love Us ?

December 14, 2010

Uncategorized

Other shows let me in for completely free and I don’t have to watch all the way from the back.

Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

1) It’s the nature of any comedy scene that shows come and go, but it’s a real tragedy to see a show put on by great people shut down. In the past week, two such shows, Sweet and Sour Comedy and The Akaaba Presents, reached their end of their runs due to the unfortunate circumstance that the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area is overrun with comedy shows as you can see in the “The Greater LA Comedy Landscape” Map. Abbey Londer (Sweet and Sour Comedy), Jeremy Paul & Joe Braza (The Akaaba Presents) are some of the funniest and best, most decent people I have come to know in LA comedy, but, most venues don’t really care about the intangibles of comedy so much as they care about turning a profit off of a show whether it’s well-produced and truly funny OR abusively-run and hacky. With a city overpopulated with live comedy shows/venues and the predominant perception of live comedy being loud-mouthed, rude, and completely uncouth that relies more on shock and x-rated content than any sort of comedic artistry, getting the average “real” person to a comedy show in LA is almost a miracle. To have things change in LA Comedy, and to even suggest this in times like these requires a serious lack of sanity, is to change people’s perceptions of what comedy really is or at least broaden their idea of it to include smart, insightful humor from incredibly hard-working and talented folks that perform night in and night out mostly for free. Most people aren’t even aware that “we”, (in case you are a real person that hasn’t met me personally, I’m one of “those” comics too) exist and I try to remedy that problem as much as I can through this blog and The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List, but really, I’m only one guy with a laptop, a camera, an iPhone, and some decent material. Perhaps, in the coming year, the Comedy Bureau will grow to a big enough proportion where change can be affected through one fell swoop of me typing so I won’t have to worry about trying to see damn hilarious people like Abbey, Jeremy, and Joe live because their shows ended permanently. Check back here for progress on that front.

2) This entire week’s COMEDY CRAWL is seemingly jam packed before most shows go into hibernation for the holidays, so make sure you catch all the comedy you can before you stuck with a season of a TV show you didn’t want on DVD. Start with Merrillwood Live @ Paul G Gleason Theatre 7PM FREE, then Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 7:30PM $5, then “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour Christmas Special @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then The Nerdist Presents “Comics You Should Know” @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15, then The Long Shot Podcast Season 2 Finale @ The Fake Gallery 8:30PM $5, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, and finish with Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/7PM to 8:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” officially dropped yesterday on AST Records and, yes, you should have picked it up yesterday, but, now, you can make up for that by picking it up today.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT CHAMPAGNE-Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.”
Matt Champagne is simultaneously witty and insightful and then incredibly animated when he takes the stage, which is why he is a favorite of many rooms in LA. You can catch him live tomorrow at A Pint of Funny @ O’Brien’s Pub (2941 Main St., Santa Monica, CA) 8PM and you should never miss his daily thoughts in word form on his blog I Remain Champagne.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Norm MacDonald’s Final Appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

7) I already made a plug for donations above, so…. I’ll just do it again here.

8) An elderly woman a few nights ago softly clasped my forearm and said, “I’m looking for a young Steven Wright.” I did walk away and was shocked by the, at least, 40 years age difference AND the fact she obviously never listened to anything I said because I don’t do one-liners.

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Y U No Love Us ?

December 16, 2010

Uncategorized

Other shows let me in for completely free and I don’t have to watch all the way from the back.

Morning Debriefing 12/16/10

1) Apparently, enough people read this blog in the LA comedy community so that The World Famous Comedy Store has taken notice.

The last time I heard anything from anybody at the Comedy Store was a couple a months ago when someone asked me, “Can you bring 5 people?” I’m glad that writing ABOUT comedy as opposed to writing and performing comedy, which I still voraciously commit myself to daily/nightly, is getting me somewhere. Thanks to all who read and there will be a night that I go to the Comedy Store/Improv/Ice House/etc. after I get some cash from Christmas “returns” and I’ll be pleasantly surprised if anybody knows who I am.

2) Yeah, there’s 12 shows on this list. Can I make it to all of them? Of course I can and so should you (STOP WORKING OUT THE “MOVIE PHYSICS” IN YOUR HEAD!!!) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL includes The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $18, Crisis on Infinite Comics and Comics 3-yr. Anniversary @ Meltdown Comics 7PM $5, Charlyne Yi @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Subversive Comedy w/Jimmy Dore & Friends @ Flappers Claremont 8PM $12/2 drink min., Comedy90210 @ Roxybury Cafe 8PM $5, 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE, Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 8PM $30/2 drink min., 2nd Annual Best Doorknockers Christmas Pageant Ever!!! @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10/Two-for-one $5 each, Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE, Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 8PM $17/2 drink min., The Produce Section Show @ 767 Central Ave., Los Angeles, CA (downtown) 8PM FREE (say “produce section” to doorman to get in), and certainly the last, but not least by any stretch of the imagination The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE. Not that bad, right?

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE 1061 S. La Brea, Inglewood, CA/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) There are actually more open mics that happen than what I list daily above in the “OPEN MIC RUN” feature. That rundown basically lists what I think is worth your time on a nightly basis, more or less (i.e. you won’t want to entirely quit comedy after doing those rooms). For an even more comprehensive listing, go to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, which lists every open mic I know of (constantly updated).

5) Maria Bamford’s One-Hour Homemade Christmas Special! FREE! RIGHT HERE! FROM THE COMFORT OF THE VERY POSITION THAT YOU’RE SITTING IN!!!

6) For the Comedy Bureau “Tip of the Hat”, I follow over 300 people on Twitter, am friends with over 300 comics on Facebook, and follow over 80 people on Tumblr, ALL OF WHICH IS READ BY ME (that does indeed me I read every f’n tweet/blog of every person I follow). This is why I’m severely curtailing following more people on Twitter and Tumblr to keep my sanity. However, if you want to be considered for the “Tip of the Hat”, you can make my life infinitely easier by submitting a status update/tweet/quote/blog post/joke/video/picture that you took/etc. to thecomedybureau@gmail.com with your name, “FYC Tip of the Hat”, and the date in the subject line. Speaking of which…

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVE ROSS-“@davetotheross honestly ladies, a side-hug might as well be a fork in the eye.” Dave Ross joins the “Tip of the Hat x 2 Club” here and deservedly so with his dominating and hilarious online presence (Dave’s Cats and Pussy Podcast was nominated by Punchline Magazine as one of the Best New Podcasts of 2010) and his show Holy Fuck!, one of my favorites about town. So… check out Dave’s fantastic website and follow him on Twitter and don’t miss the next edition of Holy Fuck! next Tuesday Dec. 21st at the Downtown Independent Theatre for completely fucking FREE!!!

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks on Marketing (RIP Bill Hicks… Dec. 16th was his birthday)

9) “Build it and they will donate.”-Cheap attempt #23 to get people to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

10) TONIGHT: LIVE TWEETING at a Run of Shows OR Open Mics—-follow here to find out where my comedy misadventures take me tonight. (Perhaps I’ll try some of that Asian Christmas work party material….)

11) When going over a joke with the word “normalcy” in it, someone once told me that “normalcy” was a big word. Perhaps, he’s the type of person that would only understand the term “double plus normal way”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/16/10

1) Apparently, enough people read this blog in the LA comedy community so that The World Famous Comedy Store has taken notice.

The last time I heard anything from anybody at the Comedy Store was a couple a months ago when someone asked me, “Can you bring 5 people?” I’m glad that writing ABOUT comedy as opposed to writing and performing comedy, which I still voraciously commit myself to daily/nightly, is getting me somewhere. Thanks to all who read and there will be a night that I go to the Comedy Store/Improv/Ice House/etc. after I get some cash from Christmas “returns” and I’ll be pleasantly surprised if anybody knows who I am.

4) Staying in because you have become it’s no longer slightly breezy at 70? Watch Johnny Pemberton on MTV’s Megadrive 11PM or Matt Braunger on E!’s Chelsea Lately also at 11PM because you will something actually or verbally destroyed.

5) There are actually more open mics that happen than what I list daily above in the “OPEN MIC RUN” feature. That rundown basically lists what I think is worth your time on a nightly basis, more or less (i.e. you won’t want to entirely quit comedy after doing those rooms). For an even more comprehensive listing, go to the Greater LA Open Mic Map, which lists every open mic I know of (constantly updated).

6) Maria Bamford’s One-Hour Homemade Christmas Special! FREE! RIGHT HERE! FROM THE COMFORT OF THE VERY POSITION THAT YOU’RE SITTING IN!!!

7) For the Comedy Bureau “Tip of the Hat”, I follow over 300 people on Twitter, am friends with over 300 comics on Facebook, and follow over 80 people on Tumblr, ALL OF WHICH IS READ BY ME (that does indeed me I read every f’n tweet/blog of every person I follow). This is why I’m severely curtailing following more people on Twitter and Tumblr to keep my sanity. However, if you want to be considered for the “Tip of the Hat”, you can make my life infinitely easier by submitting a status update/tweet/quote/blog post/joke/video/picture that you took/etc. to thecomedybureau@gmail.com with your name, “FYC Tip of the Hat”, and the date in the subject line. Speaking of which…

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAVE ROSS-“@davetotheross honestly ladies, a side-hug might as well be a fork in the eye.” Dave Ross joins the “Tip of the Hat x 2 Club” here and deservedly so with his dominating and hilarious online presence (Dave’s Cats and Pussy Podcast was nominated by Punchline Magazine as one of the Best New Podcasts of 2010) and his show Holy Fuck!, one of my favorites about town. So… check out Dave’s fantastic website and follow him on Twitter and don’t miss the next edition of Holy Fuck! next Tuesday Dec. 21st at the Downtown Independent Theatre for completely fucking FREE!!!

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Bill Hicks on Marketing (RIP Bill Hicks… Dec. 16th was his birthday)

10) “Build it and they will donate.”-Cheap attempt #23 to get people to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

11) TONIGHT: LIVE TWEETING at a Run of Shows OR Open Mics—-follow here to find out where my comedy misadventures take me tonight. (Perhaps I’ll try some of that Asian Christmas work party material….)

12) When going over a joke with the word “normalcy” in it, someone once told me that “normalcy” was a big word. Perhaps, he’s the type of person that would only understand the term “double plus normal way”.

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Post Brunch Update 12/17/10

1) If you love comedy in all aspects of your life, including your daily news, do not miss an opportunity to check out almost brand spanking new HahaJK.com. Bannered on the top of the site by founder Jamie Kennedy is what seems to be their motto, “News the way you want it-Funny,” which the entire Comedy Bureau staff, myself included, says HahaJk.com completely delivers on. Covering the entire U.S. News gamut (politics, money, lifestyle, sports, and so on and so forth), HahaJK.com has a plethora of a “possibly factual” stories that are made even funnier by “possibly” altering a few details such as this story about Carnie Wilson of 80’s female supergroup Wilson Phillips having incredibly difficulty maintaining her weight. HahaJK.com is just in its soft-launch phase and it already has potential to give the Onion a run for its money and certainly put the Huffington Post in its place, especially since one of the Comedy Bureau’s favorites Tony Sam is one of their head writers. So, in case you skipped right here to the end, check out HahaJK.com.

2) On the sixth night of Christmas, my true love (if I had one) went on a COMEDY CRAWL with me, well… not really. If she existed, she probably be incredibly pretentious and want to go to the Silent Movie Theatre instead, but that’s not the case so go see some damn comedy with Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5, Destructo @ Meltdown Comics 7:30PM $6, Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 8PM/10PM $30/2 drink min., Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 8PM/10PM $20/2 drink min., Jokes from the Underground @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Comedy Car Hole @ Comedy Car Hole 9PM FREE, Stood Up Friday Night @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5, and We Wish You A Silly Spoofmas: A Holiday Special @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min., GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM, TRINITY OPEN MIC 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/must work clean, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) If you think that rain here transforms LA into some barren wasteland and INSIST on staying in, then you can watch Maria Bamford is on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS 12:35AM.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/19-12/25. Merry Christmas and big thanks to Wisepix.

6) Jimmy Pardo’s entire 12 hour Pardcast-a-Thon featuring a cavalcade (yeah, I like $3 words) of celebrities and funny folks is now available for download and still raising money for Smile Train, a charity dedicated to giving impoverished children in need cleft-palate surgery. They’re over $26,000 now, why not push them over $30,000?

7) Wonder what the Midwest/Dallas-Ft. Worth area thinks of LA comedienne thinks of LA Comedienne/theWorst.tv’s Shannon Hatch? Of course you do. That’s why you’ll read this interview from Dallas based culture website Serial Optimist.

8) Several people have asked me how they can be featured on the Comedy Bureau. As the Comedy Bureau’s tries to rid the public of comedy “red-tape”, the Comedy Bureau staff maintains a strict policy of bringing the Great Los Angeles Metropolitan Area the best in the LA comedy scene straight from the trenches. Thus, all one has to do be featured here: BE ABSOLUTELY FUNNY.

9) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” Today to CHRISTIAN DUGUAY “@christianduguay Little known fact – all 7-11s offer a murder weapon disposal service.” Christian not only writes gems on his Twitter and does stand-up in LA, but he produces several shows for MTV including Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, an impressive feat considering many comics that get the “Tip of the Hat” seemingly spend almost their entire day tweeting/facebooking/blogging. Follow Christian on Twitter here.

10) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Robert’s Christmas Story

11) Tonight, I’m performing, chronicling, becoming the Super Man from being the “Clark Kent” of LA Comedy at the Hollywood Improv for Jokes from the Underground. Follow me, I mean, The Comedy Bureau on Twitter for another night of comedy misadventures around LA. Also donate, too, or else I won’t get to the show… most likely…

12) I’ve gotten to the status of “that guy who writes a blog.” I think I could end 2010 feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/17/10

4) If you think that rain here transforms LA into some barren wasteland and INSIST on staying in, then you can watch Maria Bamford is on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS 12:35AM.

5) Ultimate Free and Cheap LA Comedy List 12/19-12/25. Merry Christmas and big thanks to Wisepix.

7) Wonder what the Midwest/Dallas-Ft. Worth area thinks of LA comedienne/theWorst.tv’s Shannon Hatch? Of course you do. That’s why you’ll read this interview from Dallas based culture website Serial Optimist.

10) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Robert’s Christmas Story

12) I’ve gotten to the status of “that guy who writes a blog.” I think I could end 2010 feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

Report 00056

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/18/10

1) Jokes from the Underground @ The Hollywood Improv Lab is simply the start of something good. Within the bounds of Hollywood where you can literally walk from one comedy venue to another, Jokes from the Underground manages to distinguish itself from just being another straight stand up show as one of the show’s producers Orlando Bishop told me that he wanted to have a show that no matter the circumstances, he and show producer/host Ed Greer would just enjoy the show themselves. The idea of booking a live comedy show based actually on who is legitimately funny and who will actually entertain any audience is seemingly becoming one of those “novel ideas”. Thus, there was a great variety of performers from all of the “sub-scenes” in comedy around LA county and beyond, which, as the show’s name suggests, proves that there are plenty of fantastic comics who don’t have a single TV credit that can “leave the place in a heap of dust” after their set. With such integrity in putting a comedy show together, Orlando and Ed actually got people to fight through traffic, rain, Christmas parties to actually have an audience on this first edition of Jokes from the Underground, which made it for a splendid evening both as an audience member and as one of the performers. Such a notion is yet another “novel concept”. With host Ed Greer living up to his Twitter handle @EdGreerDestroys, the intimate crowd at the Improv Lab enjoyed the likes of Zach Ames, Gabbriella Gatto, Gail Gramlich, Scott Bowser, Orlando Bishop, Charles Allen, Plug McEnroe, Jake Kroeger (yeah, that’s me, if you haven’t figured that out by now), and Paul Danke. It’s a line-up that shouldn’t be missed no matter how “underground” it is. Jokes From the Underground will be on one Friday a month at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL will probably be better than most Christmas gifts I get. This will be especially true if it’s another round of gift baskets from Hickory Farms and the actual bottom of the bargain bin at Best Buy. Start with Two Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 12:30PM $10/2 item min., then go to Space Boners Christmas Spectacular @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE, then Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 7PM/9PM $30/2 item min., then Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 7PM/9PM $20/2 item min., then This American Mistake @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $5, then Comediaplex @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $10, then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10, then Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 8:30PM $25 SOLD OUT (in case you needed to know), then The Annual Christmas Sweater & Mustache Party @ The World Famous Comedy Garage 9PM Party 10PM Show FREE, then Hook-Up w/Ron Lynch @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., WESTSIDE ECLETIC 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-Up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Trick in LA Times. Seriously. If you were expecting a “PSYCHE!” here, you obviously don’t know what Brandie Posey’s and Emily Maya Mills’ Trick @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE has in store. Read and find out WHY DON’T YA!?!

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic doesn’t take a holiday (mostly because we didn’t land on one). Next Tuesday, we have a special guest performance in THE LOVELY AND UPROARIOUS MARIANNE SIERK!!! Dec. 21st/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/Happy Hour until 9PM/You will FEEL empty for the rest of your life if you miss it/not really.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to EDDIE PEPITONE-“@eddiepepitone Greatest achievements- I once made a small lie into a crisis so big that I had to get plastic surgery done and relocate.” Eddie is in consideration nearly every day for a “Tip of the Hat” and it’s no surprise why as he’s one of the funniest people I have ever seen, which is why this is his second “Tip of the Hat”. From him yelling about people in Glendale to doing impressions of lounge singers that have Vietnam flashbacks, LA’s lucky to have Eddie Pepitone around. SO GO CHECK HIS WEBSITE and please, please, please follow him on Twitter.

6) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: Doug Stanhope-This Generation Sucks

7) Wonder where the Comedy Bureau’s going to be? Follow us/me on Twitter because we don’t have a Comedy Bureau “Light” and if you want one, donate here.

8) Sorry fo any typos that you may read here. In trying towrite and perform and do everything that you need to keep afloat in LA Comedy. I’minalittleofarush sometimes. T’anks for reading.

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Post Brunch Update 12/19/10

December 19, 2010

Uncategorized

april richardson, biggest mistake, comedy bureau, dan dominguez, dave ross, eli olsberg, jake weisman, jen goldberg, la, matt braunger, paul jay, take that america, the morning after, this american mistake, this american wife

1) This American Mistake @ Meltdown Comics was a spectacular showcase of why the relatively brand new form of comedy, “the podcast”, has become so wildly popular. Likened more to an actual conversation as opposed to someone telling straight jokes to you, audiences/listeners are eased into a wildly entertaining spectacle in a podcast that’s largely more relatable than straight stand-up or sketch. Last night, The Biggest Mistake,

This American Wife (featuring guests Alie and Georgia mixing tasty libations live),

and The Morning After Podcast

gave the audience at Meltdown Comics a great display as to the uniqueness and inherent hilarity, not only of the idea of a podcast, but within themselves. With interviews and funny insights into pornography in the Morning After Podcast (Jake Weisman and Eli Olsberg), a fantastic parody of NPR in This American Wife (Eric Martin et al), and the naturally hysterical dynamic between Paul Jay, Dan Dominguez, and Jen Goldberg on the Biggest Mistake, any person in LA and around the world can enjoy some laughs in a new and more personable way. Also, to my own personal delight, accessing these three podcasts will be made even easier as Jen Goldberg announced the birth of an “unstoppable force” of a podcast network, “Take That America”. More details on “Take That America” will be featured here as they come along. In addition to that “podcast trifecta” “performing” last night, this LIVE edition of these podcasts featured some early Christmas treats in special guest stand-up performances from Dave Ross,

April Richardson,

Matt Braunger,

and “the man of the hour” himself: Paul Jay.

Basically, don’t miss out on any of these podcasts and definitely don’t miss out on LIVE editions of podcasts. The Comedy Bureau will try to make sure that doesn’t happen.

2) I can’t stress enough how much tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL in however many dimensions we agree reality is actually represented in will be better than Tron 3D. Start with Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas @ Glendale Planetarium 5PM/7PM $10/$5 children under 12, then Adam Carolla @ Irvine Improv 7PM $30/2 item min., then Bill Burr @ Brea Improv 7PM $20/2 item min., then Laugh, Drink, Repeat w/Kyle Kinane @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $10/2 drink min., then ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then Trick: Part Deux @ Bordello Bar 8PM FREE, then French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, then Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5, and finish with a warm Christmas hot chocolate and Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv 9PM $15/2 item min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) In case you throw your cares about the rain in LA to the wind and missed Maria Bamford on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, it’s on the link before these eight words.

5) The incredibly popular Casey’s Open Mic on Mondays is no longer as is one of the longest running open mics in LA, Michael’s Pub, out in the valley. Please abstain from taking a moment from silence and take comedian/Ogre Mage’s bass player Jeff Watenhofer’s advice: If you do go to Casey’s [or Michael’s] again, please ask about the open mic, and upon hearing it no longer happens, put a $100 bill BACK into your wallet and leave without saying anything.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tip Its Hat” today to STEVE SCHNEIDER-“@stvschndr My faith in humankind cannot survive the fact that people willingly eat at Panda Express.” Insightful and subversive in his writing and performance, Steve Schneider is one of the more clever comics on the LA comedy scene despite him only being booked once this year. Follow him on Twitter and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on where you can see him next.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Harland Williams at the Yuk Yuk’s 25th Anniversary

8) “BAH HUMBUG!!! Donate already!!!”-cheap attempt #24 for donations to the Comedy Bureau. Please donate if you want the “cheap attempts” to stop.

9) Performing, writing, and writing about comedy almost forgot made me about christmas shopping, I mean… thoughtful letter writing to family because I can’t afford Christmas discount prices at Target right now.

Report 00056

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Post Brunch Update 12/19/10

December 19, 2010

Uncategorized

april richardson, biggest mistake, comedy bureau, dan dominguez, dave ross, eli olsberg, jake weisman, jen goldberg, la, matt braunger, morning debriefing, paul jay, take that america, the morning after, this american mistake, this american wife

This American Wife (featuring guests Alie and Georgia mixing tasty libations live),

and The Morning After Podcast (w/guest Gene Frucha, former porn star making a comeback/Eric Martin, the man behind This American Wife)

gave the audience at Meltdown Comics a great display as to the uniqueness and inherent hilarity, not only of the idea of a podcast, but within themselves. With interviews and funny insights into pornography in the Morning After Podcast (Jake Weisman and Eli Olsberg), a fantastic parody of NPR in This American Wife (Eric Martin et al), and the naturally hysterical dynamic between Paul Jay, Dan Dominguez, and Jen Goldberg on the Biggest Mistake, any person in LA and around the world can enjoy some laughs in a new and more personable way. Also, to my own personal delight, accessing these three podcasts will be made even easier as Jen Goldberg announced the birth of an “unstoppable force” of a podcast network, “Take That America”. More details on “Take That America” will be featured here as they come along. In addition to that “podcast trifecta” “performing” last night, this LIVE edition of these podcasts featured some early Christmas treats in special guest stand-up performances from Dave Ross,

April Richardson,

Matt Braunger,

and “the man of the hour” himself: Paul Jay.

Basically, don’t miss out on any of these podcasts and definitely don’t miss out on LIVE editions of podcasts. The Comedy Bureau will try to make sure that doesn’t happen.

4) In case you throw your cares about the rain in LA to the wind and missed Maria Bamford on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, it’s on the link before these eight words.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Harland Williams at the Yuk Yuk’s 25th Anniversary

8) “BAH HUMBUG!!! Donate already!!!”-cheap attempt #24 for donations to the Comedy Bureau. Please donate if you want the “cheap attempts” to stop.

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Started from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this takes places within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredibly Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

Still can’t really figure out what exactly what the “trick” is, which is why I will definitely go to the next edition of this show and you should too. Trick takes places one Sunday a month at Bordello Bar just East of downtown LA. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next. one.

2) This is officially the shortest COMEDY CRAWL in the history of the Comedy Bureau and one that you can actually make both shows (well… if you are able to get into the second one that is….) What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE, Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM/10 min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/Starts 8:30PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., PUKA BAR 710 W. Willow St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Now a message from comedienne Barbara Gray: If you haven’t heard, Casey’s cancelled the open mic because they felt it wasn’t bringing them business. Call Casey’s today and ask them if there is an open mic. Nothing offensive or rude, but I think this is a great way to just show them how many people they are missing out on coming to the bar. (213) 629-2353 is the number. They open at 11:30 am. Please pass this on to comics who may be interested.

5) The Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is going for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN!!! Raffles a-plenty of food and pieces of Russell’s childhood and some other stuff my sleeve, not to mention, MARIANNE SIERK!!! Come to Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM!!!

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to AMY DRESNER-“@AmyDresner I just wept during an episode of Law & Order: SVU. My meds must be off.” I personally admire Amy for her brutal honesty on stage, which is a laugh riot, and her “bringing the goods” comedy wise every time I’ve seen her live. Check out her website and follow her on Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

Report 00056

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/20/10

1) Trick @ Bordello Bar was dazzling, fantastic, and left me wondering only one thing: What exactly was the “trick”? Were my expectations for the show supposed to be duped by the fact that I parked by generic toy manufacturer/distributor Mega Toys? Was I supposed to be surprised that the Bordello Bar was packed to standing-room only with real people? Am I to presume Demetri Martin and Kyle Kinane’s unannounced special guest drop-in performances were going to hoodwink me? If that was the “trick”, the Comedy Bureau was not fooled (OK, the last one of those three I didn’t expect). In fact, producers/comediennes Brandie Posey and Emily Maya Mills had promoted their show so aggressively and built up the hype to a level that fighting through the rain and the guilt of still not being finished with Christmas shopping absolutely promised a great show, which Trick definitely was. Starting from the moment that audience members walked in, people were in for a treat with getting pictures with both Santa and a dreidel while listening to the sounds of DJ/comedian Denver Smith spinning everything from traditional Christmas music to the Tron soundtrack. All of this took place within the burlesque (please don’t refer to the movie) inspired setting of Bordello Bar colored almost entirely in red along every wall, curtain, chandelier, etc. Following “that”, the large crowd of people that traveled all the way from Whittier, Santa Monica, and even further got to witness live stand-up, musical, and sketch comedy in front of a “missionary chapel” backdrop draped in greatly contrasting blue light, which raised the spectacle of Trick even further (something that I previously didn’t think was possible). The Christmas Trick festivities proceeded with the incredible Emily Maya Mills on hosting duties,

then lovely hilarious songs from Hannah Gansen,

Mike Phirman,

and Chuck Watkins,

stand-up from a frustrated Santa Claus (played by Dave Child, elf played by Amber Kenny),

Kimberly Clarke,

Moshe Kasher,

and Brandie Posey,

an extremely alternative Christmas story from Brett Gelman,

absurdly funny sketch comedy from Good Neighbor,

and the “out-of-nowhere bolt” of Demetri Martin

and Kyle Kinane closing out the show.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Dave Chapelle-The Secret

8) Thanks to good and decent person Andrew Solmssen for donating to the Comedy Bureau. Please join him in being good and decent by donating here.

9) I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to a point of trying to be the Comedy Bureau and myself as a comedian where I yell “YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAAART!” via James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

Report 00059

THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/21/10

1) TO THE COMEDY COMMUNITY AT LARGE: Steve Landesberg has unfortunately joined the company of Robert Schimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Blake Edwards, and Greg Giraldo with his untimely death yesterday Dec. 20th, 2010. Though death is still more of a tangential concept to me, such events make me wonder what I have done is comedian and what I plan to do in the “bigger picture”, that is, if I can even get to a point to be able to have a “bigger picture” in my sights. Trailing their journey through the road-less world of comedy through the pinnacles and low-points of their career, I don’t feel necessarily more driven than I already am, but I feel more encouraged towards that word that too many Hollywood types consider “dirty”: hope. I have hope, specifically in myself, that there is somewhere to go in this horribly cutthroat industry of ours, that its not just trudging through a horrible cancerous fog of doubt and uncertainty, that there’s a point to doing open mics. Some might call me naive and some might call me insane, (well, most people think I’m insane) but if you don’t have any faith or hope in yourself, then what are you doing telling jokes? May all the aforementioned dead rest in peace, but instead of a moment of silence, let’s all continue what they started in striving to better ourselves in whatever comedic pursuits we’re engaged in, which subsequently will make everyone else better. This is the overall mission of the Comedy Bureau. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….

2) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, as you can see, has a couple of shows that are regularly featured here as well as Bobcat Goldthwait. Before you start your possible instantenous judging of my taste, let me remind everyone that since his stint in stand-up, Bobcat has directed sketches for Dave Chapelle as well as World’s Greatest Dad, one of the best films of 2009. So I urge you, be open, be curious and, most importantly of all, ready to laugh when going to Mrs. Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge (for a good cause) @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 8PM FREE, Bobcat Goldthwait @ Ice House 8PM $15/2 drink min., Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, and The Ebeneezer Scrooge Telethon @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (near downtown/Little Tokyo)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo BACK IN ACTION for PART 7: NO CHRISTMAS FOR DAVID LO PAN is TONIGHT! Jokes, raffles, fish tacos, potato tacos, cheap beer, as well as wine, women, and song are in fully supply for this evening, not to mention MARIANNE SIERK!!! Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. *Supply of wine, women, and song subject to change without notice.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to RUSSELL CORONA-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Knowing Russell on a personal basis, I can tell all of you, he is a joke writing machine as he literally spends entire days writing one-liners and, occasionally, he has a good one (is this where I would put the smiley face emoticon?). He’ll be joining me tonight in hosting duties down at Señor Fish for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic and definitely follow him on Twitter.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: World’s Greatest Dad Trailer (in reference to point about Bobcat Goldthwait above)

7) If I could afford to stand around all day and ask for donations, I really wouldn’t need donations. Please give to the Comedy Bureau if you can (picture me without the beard a la Oliver Twist in the LA rain)

8) If someone says to me again, “The first rule of the Comedy Bureau is don’t talk about the Comedy Bureau”, I’m going to institute the second rule of the Comedy Bureau: “Any person or persons making a Fight Club reference in a metaphor and/or simile to this blog can go shut the hell up for eternity and the eternity after.” Obviously, I get this a lot…

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THE COMEDY BUREAU

Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

1) On the Eve of Christmas Eve, on a night that most people are merely waiting for the rise of Christmas Morning, one, James Adomian, brought on one of the best LA stand up comedy performances of the year at the Josh and Josh Show. I write this without any hesitation at all even though I have seen an average of four hours of live stand up virtually every night for the last several months. Before Adomian went on tour for the last few months, I had seen him do versions of his act at least 10 times or to the point where I could write his set list out for him, but even in knowing what was coming, Adomian transcended all of my expectations with his superb impressions and uncanny awareness as a performer on stage. Last night, at Bar Lubitsch, Adomian got the audience, me included, to a point that’s so rare, not just in comedy, but in all art forms, where the audience member/viewer/reader/listener/etc. actually forgets that they are actually voluntarily consuming a performance or a piece. For me, as a comic, I especially enjoyed seeing Adomian deal with these two girls who were erupting in laughter, then found one joke somewhat to their distaste, then instantly get them back on his side. In fact, they were personally praising James for a good 15 minutes after the show. From his observations on gay villains, Sam Elliot advertising Kombucha, to his own “show-biz” story opening for Joan Rivers, Adomian made the term “tour-de-force” seem inadequate in this attempt to describe his performance. As highly respected comedienne/Comedy Bureau favorite Lizzy Cooperman said, “We all have just witnessed something [that we’re privileged to be a part of].” As James Adomian is back in LA for the time being, please check back at the Comedy Bureau for his next performance.

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: "Yeah, I’m gonna go do an open mic on Christmas Eve. Gonna work on my five minutes for this Hollywood Showcase I’m gonna be in. It’s gonna be great. There’s going to be industry there, but, uhhh, do you want to go? I need to bring five people“-Person who wants to do an open mic on Christmas Eve/Escaped Mental Ward Patient. TO ALL YOU HARD WORKING COMICS OUT THERE, ENJOY YOURSELVES FOR A DAY OR TWO, WHY DON’T YOU?

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

5) WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND WANTS TO OPEN FOR PAULIE SHORE IN VEGAS? Anyone? If you are one of those people, Paulie Shore is holding an open online-submission contest to “warm-up” for his show “Vegas is My Oyster” in Vegas with the likes of Charlyne Yi, Bobby Lee, and himself at the Palms Casino. Contest ends Dec. 30th. More details and submissions here.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ADAM SHENKMAN-“Looking for a Wife-FIRST DATE-Episode #5” Adam Shenkman has drawn several comparisons to Andy Kaufman and deservingly so with his absolute, unwavering commitment to whatever he is doing both on and off stage. He’ll be continuing his “Looking for a Wife” series TONIGHT 9PM for FREE in Palm Springs at the Ace Hotel as part of his “Heebonism Christmas Eve Comedy Night”. Though he’s an act not to be missed, Shenkman with all his wild, unexpected antics is an act that’s really hard to miss as he runs a comedy variety show for kids called “The Breakfast Show”. Check at Adam’s website or back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

9) Last night, a girl said the following to me in conversation: Are you funny? I’m not getting funny from you. I was not aware that there was a “funny” detector available to the general public. If anyone knows of one, in, perhaps, a secret section of Brookstone/Skymall, please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com with details. Also, if anyone knows of a handheld particle cannon that can vaporize an entire person with one shot, that would be helpful too.

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Morning Debriefing 12/24/10

2) Tonight, there will be no COMEDY CRAWL as this time of year, I sincerely believe that is should be spent with your friends and family. Also, there’s really nothing else going on.

4) Reggie Watts had a "Holidays” message for everyone on Conan last night, here it is, in case you missed it.

6) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 12/26/10-1/1/10. Thanks Wisepix.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 (there are 14-other successive parts on Youtube)

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you had no idea that there was a Star Wars Holiday Special that George Lucas himself doesn’t even like admitting that he let happen.

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Morning Debriefing 12/25/10

1) Unlike Judy Carter suggests in one of her bestselling books, dinner with a table full of comedians is not incredibly depressing. It’s actually the antithesis of the stereotype/notion. In fact, two tables of LA comics on a Christmas Eve in Chinatown will turn into a spirited competition of who can order first, who is having more fun, and whether to trade members of each table for another. As comedian Ed Salazar said to comedian Eli Olsberg, “Our table will be blogged about.” For the record, Ed’s table was the better table. Yes, I was sitting at “that” table. Either way, some people think we, comedians, are a depressing bunch, which has a basis in truth, but that’s not all of who we are. As obsessive, impulsive, and condescending distorted caricatures of actual people as we may come off, all of it is all in the goal of going on lit stage and getting laughs in a darkened room full of strangers. So on this Christmas morning, or whenever you happen to be reading this, appreciate comedians, not only as ones that inspire laughter when you need it the most, but also as hard-working real people that strive diligently at their craft through much personal sacrifice. Perhaps, give them a hug, if they deserve it and if they’re OK with their personal space. HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE COMEDY BUREAU/JAKE KROEGER TO ALL OF YOU IN THE LA COMEDY COMMUNITY AND JUST GOOD FOLKS THAT LIKE LAUGHING!!!

2) Just one more night without a COMEDY CRAWL as we all, in the LA comedy community, attempt to attain some sort of temporary normalcy.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? You WANT to do an open mic on Christmas Day? Try working on your material while opening gifts. Does that sound like a good idea? Of course, it doesn’t. That’s why you should just enjoy Christmas.

4) Yesterday, I wrote about James Adomian’s inspired performance that included a painfully hilarious story about opening for Joan Rivers. It’s definitely one of the better “road” stories I’ve heard and there’s actually visual proof of it RIGHT HERE.

5) Paul F. Tompkins was actually trending on Twitter both in Los Angeles and NYC last night.

All of this came about for his live tweeting during the Pope’s Midnight Mass, which, in thinking about it, IS the Christmas gift that Tompkins gives to us all. Follow @PFtompkins and read all tweets with #midnightmass2010.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to GOOD NEIGHBOR-“best videos contest 3” Making the thought of absurdity in of itself absurd, amazing sketch group Good Neighbor attacks your senses in the best, most enjoyable way possible at such a furious pace that it’s really unimaginable not to get a kick out of them. Featuring seasoned performers Nick Rutherford, Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney, and non-performer/filmmaker Dave McCary, Good Neighbor is a treat to watch and should not be missed. Check their website or back at the Comedy Bureau for details on their next performance.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Blackadder’s Christmas Carol Part 1 of 5 [on Youtube] (My favorite Christmas Special of all time)

8) Donate. It’s Christmas. Even if you don’t celebrate, it’s a pretty convenient time to donate to the Comedy Bureau.

9) Many people thank me for my personal dedication to this blog and to all of them, I heartily say, “You’re quite welcome.”. To anyone who doubts this fact, I am writing this at 2:43AM Christmas Morning.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

1) The amazingly funny LA comedian Asterios Kokkinos along with his “Family of Tumblrs” has taken comedy via “online minutiae” to an entirely new level. With what essentially is 5 entirely different blogs through upstart social networking site www.tumblr.com, all with a very specific theme, showcases the depth and vastness of Asterios’ knowledge of popular culture and his overall cleverness. From a blog about pitching “horribly awesome” screenplay ideas (Presidentbaby.com), to a blog featuring “What Happened on the Internet Today” (whotit.tumblr.com), to a blog that has transcripts of Asterios’ various hilarious online conversations (chatloggin.tumblr.com), to his own personal blog (asterios.tumblr.com), and even to a blog parodying Billy Joel standard “Movin’ Out” (6acks.tumblr.com), Kokkinos not only offers up several great ways to see his sensational comedy to the entire world, but does so in basically one neatly wrapped online package. Be sure to check out Asterios’ Family of Tumblrs and check back at the Comedy Bureau to see if he adds any more to the 5 featured here as well as when he’s performing LIVE (you really don’t want to miss out on that).

2) Done with Christmas? You should be. Don’t you dare go to a damn sale and succumb to things you don’t need being 70% off. Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL, which will cost less than the mysterious $200 receipt you’ll inevitably rack up if you go to any major retailer today. Start with ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, then go to Holiday All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min, and finish with Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6 PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL (call 323 851 5557 before going) 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Why wait until the New Year for this…? Christmas already passed, so here’s is the COMEDY BUREAU MISSION STATEMENT: The Comedy Bureau is, above all, committed to advancing the art form of Comedy in the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area and beyond as well as enlightening the general population about the funniest and most creative Los Angeles based comedic performers.

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

6) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic is BACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK (6acks.tumblr.com) this Tuesday 12/28 with none other than TONY SAM and MATT KNUDSEN!!! I shouldn’t have to say anything else about $2 fish tacos, etc. Señor Fish. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ESTHER POVITSKY-“@Little_Esther I hate it when my slave pulls the "I’m your mother” card.“ Doing shows with Esther BEFORE Joe Rogan "tested” her, so to speak, by taking her on the road, was always a delight. The incredibly petite Esther is deceptive in her comedy with a dry, more honest sense of humor. Here’s her blog and her Twitter, two things you shouldn’t miss.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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Morning Debriefing 12/26/10

5) The newest member of the Comedy Bureau: Field Agent Joe Braza (there’s absolutely no difference in responsibility between Liaison and Agent). Welcome. (cue mic toss)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Mitch Hedberg in That 70s Show

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau, especially if you’re returning something that allows for actual cash and not just store credit. It’s still the time for the “holiday spirit”, right?

10) Now that Christmas has passed, we can go to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day “material”.

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