Morning Debriefing 3/2/11

1) Remember when I said there will be something posted HERE in March? Well, it’s March and later today you’ll find out what I was legally obligated to keep under wraps until now. HINT: Pretty much all comedy competitions are a waste of time.
2) Comedy Central Specials that you NEED TO LOOK OUT FOR: Jay Larson on Mar. 11th and Norm MacDonald on Mar. 12th. More details to come…
3) Have a short/sketch/viral video? Why not enter it in Burbank Film Festival’s Comedy Short Contest?
4) ON THE HORIZON
The Paul F Tompkins Show 9 Year Anniversary @ Largo Sat. Mar. 19th 8:30PM $25 (There’s still tickets for some reason)
Birthday Roast of Tess Barker @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn Wed. Mar. 23rd 8:30PM FREE
A Great and Terrible Thing @ Hollywood Improv Lab Tues. Mar. 29th 10:30PM $5
5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Maria Bamford’s Singalong and Comedy Show @ Center for the Arts, Eagle Rock 8PM $5 suggested donation
Birds of Prey @ Comedy Central Stages 8PM FREE
The Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $12
Matt Kirshen & Dwayne Perkins @ Irvine Improv 8PM $17/2 item min.
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8
Frolic @ Far Bar 9PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Westside Bar & Grill 9PM FREE
The Ed Galvez Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8
Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE
Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5
6) OPEN MIC RUN
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM
CAFE MUSE 6547 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM
LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM
7) It’s a rare occurrence as I’m actually feeling pretty good. Such is the life of a comedian/comedy journalist/blogger/insomniac…
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Join Dave and his guest Comedian Greg Behrendt.
Today’s Happy Hour Menu:
-Podcasting
-The future of TV
-How to Win Friends & Influence People by Hard Harry Hard On
-An intense love of cake(fucking).Stay Tuned for Part 2…
Where podcasting can take you….
James Adomian, live from the Dresden Room in Hollywood, California! Only here, on The Shakeytown Radio Hour!
(photo by Robyn Von Swank)
James talks to Gene and Brodie about his stand-up, sketch, acting, and writing career and his impersonations of Jesse Ventura, Alex Jones, Brody Stevens, Paul F. Tompkins, Eddie Pepitone, and many more. The conversation also turns to “Saturday Night Live” and their monopoly on network television sketch comedy, archaic recording formats, the hotness of Mario Van Peebles, tense phone calls from Huell Howser, and the impending apocalypse and takeover of Earth by octopus people.
Also featuring… the music of Marty and Elayne!(photo by Stephanie Cloutier)
James Adomian is literally everywhere…. like he should be.
All Jew Revue?
Eric Gruber
Carlos Herrera
Moshe Kasher
Ari Shaffir
Jamie Lee
and more
Taking a cue from Vic of the IFC series the Business, it’s an all(?) Jewish edition of the Mostly Normal Show.
Recently: Kenya MP Gidion Mbuvi to fight for right to wear bling. Also, it turns out Mbuvi might have been a culprit to write this letter by Osama Bin Laden read by Comedian Tony Sam that might very well be incredibly lost in translation.
The Jesse Miller Talk Show March 9th Promo. Yeah, just set aside $5 for next week because you’re already going and you don’t even know it.
Morning Debriefing 3/3/11

1) The closest you’ll see Doug Stanhope to Los Angeles for a while is tonight at the San Jose Improv 8PM $25/2 item min. and this Saturday Mar. 5th at Velvet Jones in Santa Barbara 7PM $20. That is as close as he’s going to get.
2) The Scoomie Awards-an award show recognizing distinction in open mic comedians in LA is coming up soon and is taking suggestions for categories. Here are some of the best suggested categories so far–take note Comedy Awards. (Listed in alphabetical order by first name)
-The “I’m an F-18, Bro” Award for Overconfidence
Andrew N. Solmssen
-Best Post Show Karaoke Performance
Andy Peters
-Most Likely to Die Before the Scoomies
Dave Ross
-The Award for Slightly More Honest Than I’d Care For, Conversely Best Fictional Stage Life
-Best Reworking of Mitch Hedberg’s Persona
James Bruce
-The Robert Yasumura Up-and-Comer Award and Scholarship
Jeff Wattenhofer
-The “Getting the Light Means 5 More Minutes, Right?” Award
Jim Hegarty
-Most Likely to Have Killed at Flappers Prior to Attending Open Mic/Show Currently Bombing At
Joseph Larkin
-Kutest Komedy Kouple
Josh Androsky
-Best Potential Mug Shot
Julia Bensfield
-Most Likely to Sign Up But Leave Before It’s Their Turn….Award…..Good luck trying to get an acceptance speech
Marianne Sierk
-The Heavy Meta Award
-Obscure Referenciest
-The TMI Award
Matt Manser
-“Female Comic Under the Sway of Domineering, Abusive Ike Turner-like Impresario"
Moses Robinson
-Most-sogynist
-The "When the hell did YOU get funny??” Award
Paul Jay
-The “Wait–This Person Doesn’t Look Damaged at ALL, So Why is He/She Up There? Oh, Oh Wait. Oof. Nooow It Becomes Plain. This Person Makes Me Look Like the Picture of Mental Health. This is PAINful to Watch.” Award
-The “PLEASE Shut Up About How Much Porn You Watch And Pot You Smoke You Horny Perverted Runt Troll; We Guessed Already By Looking At You” Award
Robert Buscemi
-The Saddest Bear in The Forest of Depression Award
-The Goes to More Open Mics in a Week than You Do in a Month Award
-The Most Likely To Stop Doing Standup and Start Doing Improv Award
-The Dryhumps you when Drunk Award
-Lifetime Achivement
Ron Babcock
-The “My Cat Is My Stage Time at Home” Award
Shawn Carlow
-Most Likely to Thrive at Homelessness
Vanessa Ramos
3) Jen Kirkman’s new album “Hail to the Freaks” is coming soon. More details to come as soon as the Comedy Bureau receives them. Stay tuned.
4) DO NOT MISS THE PREMIERE OF MASH-UP ON COMEDY CENTRAL FRI. MAR. 11th AT MIDNIGHT W/TJ MILLER, MATT BRAUNGER, KYLE KINANE, KUMAIL NANJIANI, and HANNIBAL BURESS. YEAH, IT’S IN ALL CAPS. IT’S THAT IMPORTANT.
5) ON THE HORIZON
Jim Bruce’s Mustache @ The Gardenia Wed. Mar. 9th 8:30PM $5
One-Two Punch @ Benton Manor Sat. Mar. 12th 8PM $2 suggested donation (for chairs)
The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre Mar. 26th MIDNIGHT $5
6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Meat Art Show @ Meltdown Comics 7PM
Continuous Comedy @ Hollywood Laugh Factory 8PM $20/$30 VIP/2 item min.
Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
Piñata @ Bang Studio 8PM $14
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Comedy is Dead @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery 9PM $15
How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Live!* at Carnegie Hall @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE
7) OPEN MIC RUN
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM
THE SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed
TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM
8) Anyone know how to put actual code for ads on Tumblr? It would be pretty great if this was my job and I’d keep everyone even MORE updated on everything LA comedy, wouldn’t it? Please e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com if you have tips/suggestions/help/etc.
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MEAT! is tonight!
Full of great artists!!!
‘Ulnar Fragment’
9” x 12”
cel vinyl on wood..a piece I did for the MEAT SHOW tonight at Meltdown!
Oh yeah, this is happening tonight. Just in case you haven’t pieced it together yet, the back room of Meltdown Comics is one of those “places to be”.
March 6th LINEUP
- Matt Peters
- Curt Neill
- Jake Kroeger
- Zoe Jarman
- Rodney Berry
FREE!
BYOB
Beer for DonationLet’s Murdalize ‘em.
If you put the puzzle pieces together, you’ll figure that the Comedy Bureau will be going up here.
Recently: The Supreme Court backed the protests of the Westboro Baptist Church against homosexuals in the military as they reasoned “hurtful speech” is still protected by the Constitution. Apparently, “confusing speech” is also protected as Jimmy Dore found out while getting heckled.
Blam! Blam! Blam! TUESDAY MARCH 8th RBAR KTOWN 9PM THE KRAKEN GOES BY MANY NAMES HERE ARE A FEW: +ERIK CHARLES NIELSEN +BECKY GARCIA +SELENE LUNA +PAUL DANKE +JOHNNY PEMBERTON +LAURA KIGHTLINGER +ROBERT BUSCEMI +CORNEL REID +MATT KAYE +CHUCK WATKINS +ANDRE HYLAND
All of that = you should probably go
Eddie Pepitone
A truly unique and funny comedian Eddie Pepitone is on the show. The guys break down the Charlie Sheen interviews. Eddie and Sean go back and forth about the sports rivalry between Philadelphia and New York. Eddie talks about his part in the new Muppet movie, and his live action comic strip Puddin. Sean shares a story about getting “roasted” by Jeff Ross. Logan has released the trailer for the Comedy Garage Movie.
Check out Sean Green 3/12 and Eddie Pepitone 3/25 at Connie’s Ric Rac in Philadelphia, PA
~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~: Mon 3/7 ~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~ Line Up!
~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~: Mon 3/7 ~What’s Up, Tiger Lily?~ Line Up!
Last week’s Tiger Lily was pretty fantastic! We had a terrific TL debut performance last week by Eric Dadourian and this week we have a couple more Tlily debuts! So come down, laugh it up! So we will see ya Monday right?
What’s Up, Tiger Lily?
Monday March 7th 2011 – 8:00P
Hosted by:
…
Twelve Shiny Nickels Deals On Groupon.com
Hey Everyone,
We just got accepted to Groupon. We plan to offer a bunch of great ticket promotions in the coming months using the site. However, we need 25 followers on Groupon before we can launch our first offer.
Please use this link and follow us on Groupon:
http://www.groupon.com/merchants/twelve-shiny-nickels
It will help us start offering promotions as soon as possible.
Thanks.
—The 12 Shiny Nickels Show
Puddin’-Eddie Pepitone’s Daily Live Action Comic Strip-“Lump”
NOTE: hahahahhahahahahahaha
Morning Debriefing 3/4/11

1) Tig Notaro has friends. She also has a pilot taping. This taping is taking place at ACME Comedy Theatre Mon. Mar. 7th. She would really like it if you would come. Here are some more details about the taping of Tig and her friends. [via AST News]
2) It’s the last day for Scoomie Awards suggestions. That’s right, it’s the last chance to make a category for how much disdain you have for certain people at open mics in LA. Don’t miss out.
3) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 3/6-3/12. Thanks Wisepix.
4) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” this week to RON LYNCH!!! Article/Profile to follow soon.
5) I know it’s incredibly late, but my article about comedy competitions “Three Minutes to Nothing” IS on its way today, or at least I think so…
6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Two-Headed Beast @ Stories Books & Cafe 8PM FREE
Stood Up Friday Night: Wingman @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5
First Fridays Variety Show @ Theatre Asylum 10:30PM $10
Red Velvet Comedy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5
7) OPEN MIC RUN
SET LIST @ FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Sign-up 5PM/given set list to improv off of
iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min.
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM
TRINITY CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/Must work clean
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM
8) Anyone how actually thinks this is written in an actual office by a group of contributors, please keep thinking that. It makes me feel better about writing this on top of a mess of blankets on my couch.
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Three Minutes to Nothing

“The idea that art has to have a “best of” category destroys the entire concept.”
–Kyle Kinane
Stand up comedy, though it may appear as a toy marketed towards 18-49 year old males, is an art form. Though referencing the most recent Academy Awards Ceremony, brilliant comedian Kyle Kinane points out above that art cannot and should not be compartmentalized into a contest.
Art relies on subjectivity and perspective and as such, there is no 100% universal answer as to what is funny or even more specifically who is the Funniest Person that Bothered to Come to Long Beach on a Random Wednesday Night. Thus, comedy contests, on principle, do not really decide who is legitimately the funniest comedian. On any given night, pros can get heckled into a verbal clash of barbs and insults and open mic’ers can kill because every room is different every night with an ever changing audience. Part of the art form of stand up comedy comes into play in this respect as the artist in the stand up comedian can and will not be funny to everyone. There are plenty of people that don’t get Richard Pryor, think Bill Hicks is just a sad angry lonely man, and think Larry the Cable Guy is just the funniest damn thing that they ever done saw. With the vast range of taste especially when it comes to what makes people laugh, most comedy contests deciding who is the funniest is inherently faulty.
This is only the first problem.
If there was a random audience that didn’t come for any specific comedian, a contest might start to be a somewhat fair gauge, but that is an unfortunate possibility in the way comedy shows are produced and promoted. All comedy contests are put together mostly as a money making venture and along those lines are set-up to award those that bring the most people to the show without too much regard of how funny they really are.
Now, before I continue, this isn’t an espousal of “sour grapes” at losing at every comedy competition that I’ve entered, but this is rather a breakdown of why a swarm of comedians try to do their punchiest 3-7 minutes amidst a two hour show is an utter waste of time.
In mid November of 2010, I was in a comedy contest where I was competing for $75 and a spot at the Main Room of the Comedy Store by performing the best 3 minutes I could put together. About a week before the show, I was notified that one of the stars of the reality show “Pit Boss” was partaking in the competition and subsequently was going to be filmed so her participation could be cut into an episode. Because she was being filmed for the reality show, she brought her friends, family, crew members, producers, and so on and so forth. Basically, SHE BROUGHT MORE HALF THAN THE ROOM. At this point, the competition is absolutely rigged as there is no way that anyone else could possibly “be funnier” than the person that more than half the audience came for. On top of that, this reality star is a “little person”. That’s right, the show “Pit Boss” is about “little people” standing well below 5 feet tall who rescue pit bulls. If there is a way to get more sympathy on your side as a performer, I’d like to know because it doesn’t exist.
Admittedly, I had a so-so set, especially being more of a long form comedian that is trying to jam punchy jokes into 3 minutes, but in sitting and listening to her set, it was very apparent that she had gone on stage perhaps only a few times before this occasion as she seemed over-rehearsed to the point of sounding like she was reciting jokes. Still, that didn’t matter that she just had material about being incredibly short and a stoner that I’ll politely call “very green” because all of her friends, family, crew, etc. gave her applause breaks on nearly every joke like it was a special drop-in appearance by Louis CK. At the end of it, it was no surprise that the $75 and the spot at the Comedy Store went to the “Pit Boss” star. She technically did have the “best set” of the night, but try bringing all of your friends, family, and crew out every time you perform and have them clap for all of the same jokes told the same way. I’ll save you the pondering as this will never happen and you will, as a true comedian, have to perform in front of strangers and how raw you are a performer will truly show through. (Note: 2nd and 3rd place also had brought several audience members, but had much more uneven sets).
Though I don’t believe I should have won the contest, there were other performers who, like myself, go night in and night out working on their act wherever they’re allowed to tell jokes and have become quite capable in performing stand up comedy in several different situations. As that is what a majority of their time is spent on, very little time can be dedicated to promoting a contest where you have to wrangle your friends to watch you only do 3 minutes. Given the circumstances, them being a group of people that has collectively decided, “I’m only going to laugh for my friend and no one else is even remotely as funny as them.”, a few of the true comics I knew had a decent set. Still, like myself, they could have used that $75 to get gas to get home as we’re constantly driving all of the time or perhaps eat as several comics in LA are close to broke and/or starving.
We, the comics (referring to people that actually go up several times a week) didn’t bring anybody and consequently we didn’t have a chance of winning or even placing. A cast member of a reality TV show does not need $75 or a spot at the Comedy Store. Absolutely, there are ways that they could get both with just the TV credit alone and not have to perform in a contest unconsciously rigging the whole thing much to the disappointment and frustration of everyone else on the line-up.
As this is the trend of most comedy competitions, especially here in LA, in addition to being conceptually faulty in deciding who is the funniest, I submit to comedians that your time is better spent going to an open mic to work on your act and becoming a better comedian rather than trying to perform for your friends and gain the distinction of “funniest person for a few months in some contest that most people have no idea exists” because that will only take you as far as being really funny for your friends.
(photo by 
