Since Trump will not be attending this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner probably because he gets his ego and feelings hurt enough on a daily basis, Danny Zuker, writer and EP on Modern Family, has done us all a favor and whipped up a version of Trump’s speech might be like.

Here’s a fun excerpt:

“Melania couldn’t be here tonight because she’s already been in the same room with me this month and a deal’s a deal! I’m kidding. We’re very much in love. Thank you. It’s very physical and tender. (Hold for the audience to say “awwww” for five minutes.)”

When reading it, you might think it might be overdoing it, but then we’d urge you to revisit Trump’s “performance” at the Al Smith Dinner and see how potentially close to reality this piece could have been.