1) Tig Notaro kills with impressions on Conan.

2) Both Patton Oswalt’s Finest Hour and Bridesmaids are available for purchase today. Maybe you should break what bank you have at the moment.

3) The Paul F. Tompkins’ Dead Authors Podcast made its premiere today with its first episode featuring Andy Richter as Emily Dickinson. Finally.

4) Comedy Royal just posted their next issue. Even though it’s unclear as to what it is, it’s pretty friggin’ amazing.

5) Eddie Pepitone doing commercial auditions during the zombie apocalypse for Joe Wagner. 

Apocalypse AuditionUCBcomedy.com

Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

6) Rob Delaney turns explaining why he missed out on his weekly Vice column into an interview.

7) A marriage proposal at Holy Fuck is not a joke. Yes, that sentence is completely true and sincere.

8) If you’re curious what happened at the Sheen Roast, check the Laughbutton’s recap and the 50 Best Jokes from the Sheen Roast.

9) COMEDY CRAWL
The Moth @ El Cid 6PM $8
SXSW Comedy Showcase @ Hollywood Improv Lab 7PM $5
The Good Luck Show @ Good Luck Bar 8PM FREE
Greg Proops: Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
Comedy Bang Bang @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Holy Fuck! @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE
Maximum Exposure @ Max Steiner’s 9PM FREE 
SXSW Comedy Showcase @ Laugh Factory 10PM 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
WESTWOOD BREW CO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/$4 min.
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd St. Promenade and 4th St.)/Sign-up 9:45PM/Starts 10PM/lottery/$1 cover
MAX STEINER’S 2500 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, CA/Starts 10PM after booked show/first come, first served
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided  

11) I finally surpassed a 1,000 Twitter followers today, which doesn’t mean anything. Have a good Tuesday.

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