1) Kyle Kinane on Conan. Don’t you even think about reading anything else on here until you watch this.
3) Yesterday, hashtag game #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie trended on Twitter and though you may have skipped metaphorical descriptions of male genitalia on your Twitter feed (and we understand), here are the five that are damn funny no matter what your stance on penis tweets are.
Wendy Liebman-@WendyLiebman Missing
Jim Hegarty-@JimHegarty The Untouchables
Steve Agee-@SteveAgee There Will Be Blood
Megan Amram-@MeganAmram The Hurt Locker (#describeyourvaginawithamovietitle)
4) In the tradition of Follow Friday on Twitter, we here at the Comedy Bureau are going to give 3 weekly picks as to who killed it on Twitter over a seven day period and thus follow. THIS WEEK: Matt Knudsen-@MattKnudsen, Abbey Londer-@abbeylonder, Andrés Du Bouchet-@dubouchet.
6) A pilot taping starring Paul F. Tompkins needs audience members!!! E-mail email@example.com if you want to join in.
8) Garfunkel & Oates need extras for their webseries:
Garfunkel and Oates is looking for guys and girls who could be available for one or several days Tues-Friday next week. There are opportunities for men and women to be in featured parts. This is non-paid, non-union work. It’s also best if you live in the Los Angeles area or can get here on your own. We do not pay for travel or other expenses.
We are also looking for women over 18 who might be interested in some more specific roles. There will be some pay for these roles only.
Please send a phone number, photo, your full name and your availability from June 20 to June 24, plus any questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
10) We’ve talked about making sure you watch when Louie (Thurs. June 23rd 10:30PM on FX) and Futurama (also Thurs. June 23rd at 10PM on Comedy Central) come back, but make absolutely sure that you watch when the Green Room with Paul Provenza makes its return to Showtime on Thurs. July 14th 11PM.
12) COMEDY CRAWL
Comedy Central Showcase @ Flappers Burbank 7:30PM FREE
Brian Posehn @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $20/2 item min.
Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Burbank 8PM/10PM $17/2 item min.
The 12 Shiny Nickels Show @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5
Stood Up Friday Night: Look At It This Way @ Moving Arts Theater 10PM $5
The Also Ran Comedy Hour @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5
The LA Indie Improv Tournament Finals @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5
13) OPEN MIC RUN
SET LIST @ FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia, Burbank, CA/Sign-up 5PM/Starts 5:30PM/given “set list” of topics to do jokes off of/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/$3 min./mixed mic/booked show in middle around 8PM
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/4 min./no purchase necessary
MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM/booked show after/no purchase necessary
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/No foul language/No purchase necessary/first come, first served
TRINITY CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 8PM/must work clean/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
14) Do people know how to genuinely laugh anymore? Can you be the only person laughing and not be embarrassed? I’m starting to suspect that people can’t do either of these things or maybe I just like laughing at suicide jokes and people inappropriately (or appropriately depending on how you look at it) clapping at it.
THE COMEDY BUREAU/@thecomedybureau