1) Last night, Billy Eichner gave a subtle PSA about why you should hate Johnny Depp on Conan and Tina Fey has to outwit own her kid because of her show on Fallon. Tonight, Conan has the goods with both Jack McBrayer & Dwayne Perkins (TBS 11PM).

2) Tomorrow, The Critics’ Choice Movie Awards will roll the dice on incredibly funny people who host their own hilarious live show every two weeks with Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel (VH1 8PM). If the Crash Test duo do as they’re known to do, they’d probably take those dice and throw it aggressively at each other.

3) Congrats to Esther Povitsky for just being passed as a paid regular at the Comedy Store.

4) We’re not a big fan of recaps, but you’ll be entertaining yourself as well as not giving ABC’s Work It ratings by following Jake Fogelnest’s hate recaps of the show.

5) Justine Barron wrote a hilarious story of how she had to sell her sex to get existence. We don’t need to say more other than read it and enjoy.

6) Improv Everywhere’s 11th Annual No Pants Subway Ride appears more pants-less than ever…

7) Remember that NYTVF/Comedy Central Short Pilot Contest? Whether you do or don’t, this is just a friendly reminder that the deadline is at 12PM EST Jan. 27th, 2012.

8) YouTube.com/AzizAnsari just became official.

9) If you’re looking to move to NYC or already live there (and, we take it, interested in working in comedy as you’re reading this) College Humor is looking for an Assistant Editor for Jest.com. 

10) Riot LA totals for their Kickstarter: $10,850 of $20,000 with 23 days to go.

11) Today’s Puddin’ features jar opening as jar opening has never seen before with Eddie Pepitone, Weird Al Yankovic, and more.

12) Just hearing the phrase “happy checks” from Pete Holmes makes all self-help books, tapes, etc. seem like a complete and total waste.

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