Adjectives such as artisanal, handmade, small batch, and more are words that many consumers these days look for on their products, no matter what they are. 

With that in mind, comedy folks Eugene Mirman and H. Jon Benjamin and Chet Clem have created a line of artisanal, handmade, small batch mystery sacks that promise to contain “…hand-chosen items that are hand-hewn by machines in America…” to be sold at the Flotsam General Store. 

One can only imagine what you would get in a mystery sack of varying sizes (depending on how much money you want shell out for this) from someone like Mirman who does Brooklyn themed paintings. We’re absolutely sure this will go nicely with any Dumb Starbucks merchandise that you could possibly have.

For our money, the best selling point of Flotsam is their return/exchange policy, which reads, “Ha, ha,ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haha, ha”