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Chat

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Jim Hamilton: Accidental Racist

June 5, 2011
Uncategorized

Jim: What’s that girl’s name again?
Barkeep: Which one?
Jim: The cute, black girl. Naomi, maybe?
Barkeep: Oh, that’s Nadia.
Jim: That’s right. I knew it was an “N” word.

Sometimes Facebook is magic.

January 20, 2011
Uncategorized

I accidentally added a “porn producer” named “Yeah ThisMe” on Facebook & he posted a casting notice for one of his “pictures” on my wall. Then he got roasted, HARD, by a bunch of comics. I almost feel bad for him.

Yea ThisMe: Attention! I have 2 position open for my new porn movie. The name of the movie is i can suck a dick better then you,no you cant! If that sounds like you drop me a line. You could start tomorrow!!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: Hey look, I think I’m going to pass, but I see you’re friends with Theresa Dringle. That sick bitch will do anything for money.
Yea ThisMe: Everyone who message me thanks but i fill all position! The people that i said i will call be i will thank you everyone for your support!! 🙂
Brandie Posey: No wonder you’re in porn, your grammar is horrendous!
Matt Lewis: sour grapes. Brandie
Brandie Posey: Y’know, I was busy tomorrow anyway. I’m teaching orphans how to read.
Barbara Gray: Brandie this is obviously the perfect place to showcase good twin/evil twin abilities
Yea ThisMe: Brandie was not on here for you i already been told you have bumps in your mouth. Sorry!
Brandie Posey: OH SHIT NO YOU DIDN’T! Guess I’ll never get to see your dick sucking lips in person, damnation!!
Yea ThisMe: Lol i dont use my lips when im having sex i have big 11 inch dick. Sorry bumpy mouth wrong person!:)
Yea ThisMe: Now leave me alone so i can go fine some pretty chicks.that movie is call, i suck the news anchor dick ttyl
Brandie Posey: Oh I completely believe your dick is 11 inches, THAT’S why you’re casting through facebook friend requests.
Brandie Posey: But bro! We’re friends! And friends talk! And share! C’mon, tell me how it felt when you realized you’d never contribute anything of note to the world.
Paul Jay: ‎”I’m an office manager at Disability Advocate, but what I really want to do is direct porno” -the worst person alive
Kate Hackett: Brandie, you have bumps in your mouth? …what, teeth?
Mark Oshiro: I’m not sure I know what just happened.
Patrick Melton: Wait a second, Yea ThisMe; Do you have to be a girl to be in these movies? I’ve got moves.
Josh Androsky: Hey, Yeah ThisMe, is all it takes to become a porn producer a 5th grade education and delusions of grandeur? Also, if you can’t understand what I just said (and I don’t blame you if you can’t– lots of big words!) you’re a terrible piece of shit. Kindly go to hell.
Paul Jay: So much weirdness. He only has 12 friends? One of them is Brandie, at least one of the others is fictional? I kinda wanna tell him I’m a sexy lady just to see which freeway he lives under.
Jim Hegarty: A brief phone call with this guy:
Caller: Hi, can I speak with Yea ThisMe?
Yea ThisMe: Yea, this Yea ThisMe.
Jim Hegarty: …Hey, Yea ThisMe, how do you go from being a Disability Advocate to sex on film? If you say ‘Amputee Porn’ I will quit Facebook.
Josh Androsky: Oh, and if Yea ThisMe is a fake profile, KUDOS. It’s really hard to write that poorly on purpose.
Alex Volz: dude! show us a picture of your giant 11 inch cock! that is so awesome.
Brandie Posey: My favorite is the photo of his daughter under his profile pictures – he says she looks like him, but she’s not rocking a sleezestache, so I don’t really see the resemblance. Also, that spark of intelligence in her eyes must be on the mother’s side.
Drew Koshgarian: it’s weird how sometimes all you have to do to get treated like a human being is to behave like one, have a human name, or speak human language. 0 for 3.
Drew Koshgarian: on a potentially related note, i don’t know that I’ve ever seen a more defeated-looking facial expression in a profile picture. Somebody get this guy into doctors’ care, for crying out loud. (not hot doctors)

The saga continues…
The Comedy Bureau: Anyone want to make “Brandie Posey’s Virtual Roasts”?

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Sat 17

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Sat 17

Wild Horses (YouTube Live-stream)

April 17 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 17

OMG Comedy Club (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 17

John Early Presents: Clockwatchers (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 17

Virtual KATG Week 2021: KATG VIP Night (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 17

Picture This! 9 to 5 Anniversary (YouTube Live-stream)

April 17 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sat 17

Nowhere Comedy Club: Mike Birbiglia: Worldwide Pizza Party (Zoom Live-stream)

April 17 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sat 17

Judah Friedlander: Pre-Existing Fascism (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sat 17

Inside the Unisphere (Zoom Live-stream)

April 17 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sat 17

NOBODY Twitter Watch Party

April 17 @ 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Sat 17

Comedy Oakland Online Show (Zoom Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Sat 17

Shrimptown (IG Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

Magic Asphalt: Drive-In Comedy Under The Stars (in LA)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

KO Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

Bil Dwyer (Zoom Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

Bawdy Storytelling’s ‘Sprung!’ (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

Night Mouse II: Through the Looking Glass (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sat 17

PILOT DUMP I: “Snake Davis and The Kickass Treasures and Stuff” by Eric Moneypenny (Twitch Live-stream)

April 17 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sat 17

Brian Kiley & Friends (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sat 17

CRAZY WOKE ASIANS COMEDY CONTEST (Live-stream)

April 17 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sat 17

Tomorrow! w/Ron Lynch (IG Live-stream)

April 17 @ 11:00 pm - April 18 @ 12:30 am
Sun 18

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 18 @ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm
Sun 18

Virtual KATG Week 2021: KATG Private Chat & Game Night (Live-stream)

April 18 @ 11:00 am - 1:00 pm
Sun 18

Laughs for LLS (Live-stream)

April 18 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sun 18

Katz Litter Box (Live-stream)

April 18 @ 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm
Sun 18

Avail Yourself (Zoom Live-stream)

April 18 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sun 18

KO Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 18 @ 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
Mon 19

Afternoon Delight (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 19 @ 12:05 pm - 1:05 pm
Mon 19

MUSIC & COMEDY WITH ISABEL HAGEN (Live-stream)

April 19 @ 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Mon 19

The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour (Live-stream)

April 19 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Mon 19

Who Wants $2.69? with Martin Urbano (Live-stream)

April 19 @ 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Mon 19

THE LAB: A VERY BLACK EXPERIMENTAL COMEDY SHOW (Live-stream)

April 19 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Mon 19

Super Horses, Wild Ego (YouTube Live-stream)

April 19 @ 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Mon 19

Comedy Rap Battle (RushTix Live-stream)

April 19 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Mon 19

Hi, I’m Reading Trash with Oscar Montoya (IG Live-stream)

April 19 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Mon 19

Writers of Conan & Friends (Zoom Live-stream)

April 19 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Mon 19

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 19 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Mon 19

LA SKINS FEST Presents: A Live Q&A about the Peacock Original RUTHERFORD FALLS (Live-stream)

April 19 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
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Hot Tub with Kurt & Kristen Home Edition (Twitch Live-stream)

April 19 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Mon 19

David Wain Piano Bar (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 19 @ 8:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Tue 20

Coffee with Tony (Twitch Live-stream)

April 20 @ 9:30 am - 10:30 am
Tue 20

Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown w/ Evelyn Mok and Tony Law (Live-stream)

April 20 @ 12:00 pm - 1:30 pm
Tue 20

Afternoon Delight (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 20 @ 12:05 pm - 1:05 pm
Tue 20

Hot & Rich (Twitch Live-stream)

April 20 @ 4:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Tue 20

Doug Benson’s Comedy Sesh (Live-stream)

April 20 @ 4:20 pm - 6:00 pm
Tue 20

Last Stream on the Left (Livestream)

April 20 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 20

Mary Houlihan’s Painting Party (Planet Scum Live-stream)

April 20 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 20

Awful Level League (Twitch Live-stream)

April 20 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 20

Vintage Basement with Max & Nicky (YouTube Live-stream)

April 20 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Tue 20

The 4/20 420 Comedy Extravaganja Special (Zoom Live-stream)

April 20 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Tue 20

Tinder Live! With Lane Moore (Live-stream)

April 20 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Tue 20

High & Mighty 1st Annual 4/20 Mega Sesh (Live-stream)

April 20 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Tue 20

Cook a Meal with Me (with Ruha Taslimi) (IG Live-stream)

April 20 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Tue 20

In The Green Zoom (YouTube Live-stream)

April 20 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Tue 20

Sh!t My Folks Don’t Know (Live-stream)

April 20 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Tue 20

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 20 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Wed 21

Afternoon Delight (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 21 @ 12:05 pm - 1:05 pm
Wed 21

Couples Therapy Quarantine Party (Twitch Live-stream)

April 21 @ 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm
Wed 21

Sketch on Twitch :: Joan Ford & Cait Raft (Twitch Live-stream)

April 21 @ 5:30 pm - 7:30 pm
Wed 21

Artisanal Comedy with Bethany Van Delft (IG Live-stream)

April 21 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Wed 21

Bae or Nay (RushTix Live-stream)

April 21 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Wed 21

Planet Scum Live (Twitch Live-stream)

April 21 @ 7:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Wed 21

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 21 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Wed 21

A Ridiculously Good Comedy Show with Debra DiGiovanni (Live-stream)

April 21 @ 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Wed 21

Bess Kalb’s Nobody Will Tell You This But Me! (YouTube Live-stream)

April 21 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
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Afternoon Delight (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 22 @ 12:05 pm - 1:05 pm
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In Conversation with Las Culturistas (Live-stream)

April 22 @ 12:45 pm - 2:00 pm
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Faded Comedy’s Virtual Happy Hour (Twitch Live-stream)

April 22 @ 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
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Ga’riffs with Gareth Reynolds (IG Live-stream)

April 22 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
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Food Fight (RushTix Live-stream)

April 22 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
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Jonny Sun’s Goodbye, again in Conversation w/ Karen Chee! (Live-stream)

April 22 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
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Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 22 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
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Coffee with Tony (Twitch Live-stream)

April 23 @ 9:30 am - 10:30 am
Fri 23

BIG CHEER UP for Amaze (Live-stream)

April 23 @ 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm
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Afternoon Delight (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 23 @ 12:05 pm - 1:05 pm
Fri 23

Hot & Rich (Twitch Live-stream)

April 23 @ 4:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Fri 23

Greg Proops: “Smartest Man in the World” Live Podcast Recording (Zoom Live-stream)

April 23 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Fri 23

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 23 @ 5:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Fri 23

Snack Time with Lindsay Adams (Live-stream)

April 23 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Fri 23

Gilbert Gottfried Does Set List Live! (Live-stream)

April 23 @ 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm
Fri 23

DeAnne Smith & Acquaintances! Tender comedy for tough times. (Zoom Live-stream)

April 23 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Fri 23

Friday Forty! (Live-stream)

April 23 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Fri 23

Crazy Good Fun Stories (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 23 @ 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Fri 23

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 23 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Fri 23

The Bathtub Comedy Shower Hour (Zoom Live-stream)

April 23 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sat 24

The Dollop UK Live! (Zoom Live-stream, UK Only)

April 24 @ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm
Sat 24

Oxfordshire Mind Comedy Gala 2021 (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Sat 24

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Sat 24

STANDUP FOR AUTISM (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Sat 24

Gleib Off The Top – A Night of Improvised Stand-up with Ben Gleib (Zoom Live-stream)

April 24 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 24

The Thrilling Adventure Hour Presents (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 24

OMG Comedy Club (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Sat 24

Hey Girl with Matt (Braunger) & Kyle (Kinane) (Live-stream)

April 24 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Sat 24

DJ Demers (Zoom Live-stream)

April 24 @ 7:00 pm
Sat 24

PILOT DUMP I: “Snake Davis and The Kickass Treasures and Stuff” by Eric Moneypenny (Twitch Live-stream)

April 24 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sat 24

Michael Ian Black on Best of SF Stand-up: Zoom Edition

April 24 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Sun 25

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 25 @ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm
Sun 25

Comedy Collective LA (Live-stream)

April 25 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Sun 25

UnCabaret Zoom Edition [LA] (Zoom Live-stream)

April 25 @ 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
Mon 26

The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour (Live-stream)

April 26 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Mon 26

Who Wants $2.69? with Martin Urbano (Live-stream)

April 26 @ 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Mon 26

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 26 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Mon 26

David Wain Piano Bar (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 26 @ 8:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Tue 27

Coffee with Tony (Twitch Live-stream)

April 27 @ 9:30 am - 10:30 am
Tue 27

Hot & Rich (Twitch Live-stream)

April 27 @ 4:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Tue 27

Last Stream on the Left (Livestream)

April 27 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 27

Mary Houlihan’s Painting Party (Planet Scum Live-stream)

April 27 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 27

Awful Level League (Twitch Live-stream)

April 27 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Tue 27

Cook a Meal with Me (with Ruha Taslimi) (IG Live-stream)

April 27 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Tue 27

In The Green Zoom (YouTube Live-stream)

April 27 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Tue 27

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 27 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Tue 27

Merrill Means Well (Live-stream)

April 27 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Wed 28

Stonewall presents GIGLESS (Live-stream)

April 28 @ 11:30 am - 1:00 pm
Wed 28

Couples Therapy Quarantine Party (Twitch Live-stream)

April 28 @ 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm
Wed 28

Artisanal Comedy with Bethany Van Delft (IG Live-stream)

April 28 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Wed 28

Planet Scum Live (Twitch Live-stream)

April 28 @ 7:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Wed 28

Self Care Comedy (Zoom Live-stream)

April 28 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Thu 29

Faded Comedy’s Virtual Happy Hour (Twitch Live-stream)

April 29 @ 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Thu 29

Ga’riffs with Gareth Reynolds (IG Live-stream)

April 29 @ 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Thu 29

Avital Ash & Friends (Live-stream)

April 29 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Thu 29

LIVE! w/ Chloe Fineman (Live-stream)

April 29 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Fri 30

Coffee with Tony (Twitch Live-stream)

April 30 @ 9:30 am - 10:30 am
Fri 30

MAGIC FOR HUMANS (AT HOME) with Justin Willman (Live-stream)

April 30 @ 5:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Fri 30

Snack Time with Lindsay Adams (Live-stream)

April 30 @ 5:00 pm - 6:30 pm
Fri 30

Comedy Trash to Treasure (Twitch Live-stream)

April 30 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Fri 30

Crazy Good Fun Stories (Clubhouse Live-stream)

April 30 @ 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Fri 30

Naomi Ekperigin Works It Out! (YouTube Live-stream)

April 30 @ 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Fri 30

Facial Recognition (RushTix Live-stream)

April 30 @ 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm

Open Mics

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