Morning Debriefing 3/6/11

Morning Debriefing 2/15/11

Morning Debriefing 2/7/11

Morning Debriefing 1/10/11

Morning Debriefing 1/10/11

Post Brunch Update 1/9/11

Morning Debriefing 1/5/11

Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

Morning Debriefing 1/4/11

Morning Debriefing 1/2/11

Morning Debriefing 12/29/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

Morning Debriefing 12/27/10

1) In an ongoing confusion about the upcoming Comedy Awards, what exactly is “breakthrough” about any of the nominees for Breakthrough Performer of the Year? Most of these people have been around comedy for quite some time and are somewhat established, but the only thing that I can figure in regards to being breakthrough is that they have something, a TV show mostly, that’s really popular this year, as opposed to someone just having a whole round of debuts on the late night circuit as a comic whose name is just started to get known around entertainment and comedy circles alike. To be accurate, the award should be called Biggest Jump by a Comedic Performer in IMDB Starmeter This Year.

2) A big change is coming to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic as we’re now only featuring one special guest and this Tuesday, it’s going to be a great one as we’re having Brendon Walsh come down right before he goes on the Spring Value Tour with Neil Hamburger and Todd Barry.

3) ON THE HORIZON: Jimmy Dore’s Pop and Politics @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Apr. 2nd $10

4) Tip of the Hat Profile/Article of Ron Lynch to come later today…

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2
Armenian National Committee Fundraiser Starring Jackie Kashian @ Flappers Burbank $49.50/2 drink min.
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Comedy Barre @ Barre Vermont 8PM FREE/2 drink min.
Powerviolence @ The Complex 8:30PM FREE
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Another Gentle Evening with Josh & Dan @ Fake Gallery 8:30PM FREE
Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5
Gravid Water @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)

5) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/$5 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

6) I think have come to a point where I can only “nerd out” about comedy because all that I know. Unfortunately, that’s what I do for “work”, so I think I’ve become that guy who just can’t stop talking about work no matter where he is. Details on this development to follow.

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February 15, 2011

Uncategorized

action figure therapy, big trouble in little tokyo, comedy, comedy crawl, jim gaffigan, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, Señor Fish, set list, splitsider

1) “Set List”-the Improvised Stand-Up show, in essence “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” for stand up is taping its pilot for Comedy Central tonight at the Comedy Central Stages. Perhaps, you should go. Details below in the COMEDY CRAWL.

2) What to Watch/DVR this Week via Splitsider

3) Do you LOVE hilarious web series Action Figure Therapy? Well, there’s ringtones now to get your fix….

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo with Ron Lynch and Sean Patton. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ‘Nuff said. (sign-up 6:30PM/starts 7PM/Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA)

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-OK, now that we’re done with that love stuff…
Good Luck Show @ Good Luck Bar 7:30PM FREE
Just for Laughs Showcase @ Three of Clubs 1123 Vine St. 8PM FREE
Set List Taping @ Comedy Central Stages 6539 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 8PM FREE-call (323) 960-5519 for RSVP
Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE
Lower Crust Comedy @ Genghis Cohen 740 N. Fairfax, Hollywood, CA 9PM $6
Just for Laughs Showcase @ Laugh Factory 10PM $20 general/$30 VIP/2 item min.

6) OPEN MIC RUN
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM
WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM

7) Recently: This article, “Moral Crusade Against Foodies” went viral yesterday. Yes, foodies are extreme. Why can’t we all just meet up at point of reconciliation with bacon? Like Jim Gaffigan says, “Frying bacon even sounds like applause.”

8) We made it through Valentine’s Day. We made it and by we, I mean I only started drinking at 3:30PM yesterday.

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February 7, 2011

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alex sulkin, big trouble in little tokyo, blamblamblam, comedy, comedy crawl, eddie pepitone, greg proops, josh comers, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, patton oswalt, san kinison, Señor Fish, smartest man in the world, super bowl, tony sam

1) As the Comedy Bureau promised, we were on the beat of comedians tweeting during and about the horrible extravagance that the Super Bowl is and here, for your enjoyment, in case you’re a better human being than all of us and have not succumbed to Twitter, are the 5 MOST HILARIOUS TWEETS from yesterday’s Super Bowl tweeting blitz:

“@pattonoswalt Baby trauma, robot thumbs, abusive women – if these ads reflect the U.S.’s mood, we’re in an "asshole spiral.”-Patton Oswalt
“@eddiepepitone This football game pales in comparison to crying in the woods with other men about our dads.Go Steelers!”-Eddie Pepitone
“@TonySam76 Wait until you all realize that you have just been watching an extended Michael Bay trailer for Transformers 3 #superbowl”-Tony Sam
“@thesulk That Coke ad with the dragon could’ve fed Africa.”-Alex Sulkin
“@joshcomers These commercials are effective. I just joined al-Qaeda. #Superbowl”-Josh Comers

2) Greg Proops is taking his podcast Smartest Man in the World LIVE, but he’s taking it to the Comedy Central Stages in Hollywood on Feb. 16th where you can be a fortunate audience member for FREE!!! Details are right here, but as the flyer warns, THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF VOCABULARY.

3) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish is tomorrow where you can catch Hasan Minhaj and Sean Conroy AND there is the 3 #$#$@!! Year Anniversary of BLAMBLAMBLAM!!! @ R-bar in K-town (only a firm stone’s throw from downtown LA), so now that your Tues. is planned, ehem, you’re welcome.

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-a “case of the mondays” is now a good thing
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Cherry Pit 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

5) OPEN MIC RUN 2/7/11
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/7ishPM/10 min. stage time at least
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (echo park)/8PM
GROUND ZERO CAFE 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC on campus nestled in between dorms near intersection of Figueroa and Exposition)/USC student Sign-up 9PM/Non Student Sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM
HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St. (in alley between Main and Spring St.)/Starts 9PM
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 Cover/Free coffee & water.

6) Recently: The Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl sending tons of Pittsburgh Steelers T-shirts to Africa, which still won’t solve the big problems in Africa according to Sam Kinison.

7) I wonder if anyone who had their New Year Resolution as starting to perform stand up comedy is still around on the open mic circuit or if they rejoined normal society. Any sightings can be reported to thecomedybureau@gmail.com.

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January 10, 2011

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big trouble in little tokyo, chris d'elia, comedy, comedy crawl, comedy death ray, huffington post, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, patton oswalt, Señor Fish, tip of the hat, travis lipski

1) I couldn’t get into ASSSSCAT last night at the UCB as there was over 100 people waiting along Franklin Ave. to watch live comedy. Great for live comedy in LA, for me, well…. Either way, I headed down to Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, which is something you’ll hear more about later today (yes, that means a review) and a comedy institution (an independent stand up show that’s on its 4th year running) you should never miss. Also, I’m going to take a break from some of my normal tendencies and be positive on some thoughts on where the LA comedy scene is headed.

2) In promoting his new book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, Patton Oswalt had the following to say to Huffington Post Comedy. Oh yeah, you should really check out Zombie Spaceship Wasteland.

3) Comedy Death Ray on IFC w/Scott Aukerman and friends is ON tonight. 10PM. If you choose to stay in, this is what you should do.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is TOMORROW. JAMES ADOMIAN and KYLE KINANE and random raffles and fish tacos galore. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA at 6:30PM is the place to be.

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL is like a Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes for free, awesome live comedy.
What’s Up Tiger Lily @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Are You F*#king Kidding Me? @ Puka Bar 8:30PM FREE
Stand Up Saloon @ Old Towne Pub 10PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

6) OPEN MIC RUN:
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PMish/10 min.
SPEAKEASY @ HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St. (in alley between Main and Spring St.)/Starts 8PM/optional sign-up via e-mail: speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:30PM
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (nestled in between three dormitories near intersection of Exposition Blvd and Figueroa St.)/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/Starts 9:30PM/7 min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to CHRIS D’ELIA-“@chrisdelia Saying "I’m into astrology” is basically like saying “Some things I say don’t matter.” When it comes to Chris D’Elia, he only does two things: He goes up and he kills. Performing at some major club in LA nearly every night, Chris is almost a “comedy machine”, though he’s anything but robotic. Catch him on Glory Daze on TBS or Twitter or at his website.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Travis Lipski and Harleys

7) People are recognizing the “Comedy Bureau” on the streets. Well… have comics become people again or is the jury still out on that one?

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January 10, 2011

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big trouble in little tokyo, chris d'elia, comedy, comedy crawl, comedy death ray, huffington post, la, open mic run, patton oswalt, Señor Fish, tip of the hat, travis lipski

2) In promoting his new book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, Patton Oswalt had the following to say to Huffington Post Comedy. Oh yeah, you should really check out Zombie Spaceship Wasteland.

3) Comedy Death Ray on IFC w/Scott Aukerman and friends is ON tonight. 10PM. If you choose to stay in, this is what you should do.

4) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is TOMORROW. JAMES ADOMIAN and KYLE KINANE and random raffles and fish tacos galore. Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA at 6:30PM is the place to be.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Travis Lipski and Harleys

7) People are recognizing the “Comedy Bureau” on the streets. Well… have comics become people again or is the jury still out on that one?

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January 9, 2011

Uncategorized

big trouble in little tokyo, bob's burgers, comedy, comedy bureau, comedy crawl, greater la open mic map, james adomian, kyle kinane, la, morning debriefing, open mic run, Señor Fish, tip of the hat, zach galifiankis

1) The Greater LA Open Mic Map has just been UPDATED with several new places to find some stage time. All the leg work done for all of you. You’re welcome.

2) The premiere of BOB’S BURGERS is tonight on FOX at 8:30PM featuring the voices of none other than Dan Mintz, Eugene Mirman, and even a guest “appearance” by Ron Lynch of the always amazing TOMORROW SHOW. DON’T MISS IT!!!! (unless you can DVR it, then go to a live comedy show instead) OR LOUIS CK’s new special HILARIOUS on Comedy Central at 10PM or catch Matt Manser on Californication on Showtime 9PM. It’s all good.

3) James Adomian and Kyle Kinane. Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish. 1/11. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. That’s all.

4) Forget whatever “happened” yesterday with some laughs at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL Norm MacDonald @ Ice House 7PM $22.50/2 drink min., ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE, Top Story Weekly w/Bill Burr @ iO West 9PM $5, Gentle Evening w/Josh and Dan @ Fake Gallery 9PM, Sunday Sunday Sunday @ The Improv Space 9:30PM FREE.

5) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to SARAH HYLAND-“Kentucky Lightning-The Kentucky Kardashians” Characters and costumes galore, Sarah Hyland always brings her hilarious satirical renditions of many of the people throughout her life, as well as herself, to any and every stage as one of LA’s most original comics. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next show. Website. Twitter.

7) From the “You Should Been There” Lagoon: Zach Galifianakis berates an audience member

8) Andy Kindler was recently quoted as saying, “There’s no room for cool in comedy.” My thoughts on this and the state of LA comedy later.

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1) Now for another edition of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”. The thoughts (as fragmented and schizo as they might be) of Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger/@blitzkroeger on Twitter.—PEOPLE MUST THINK THIS PART OF THE MORNING DEBRIEFING SHOULD BE CALLED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!! Really, how many people do you think read every part of this site? STOP IT ALREADY! You had a good comedy night. Oh really? Someone left Dec. 26th tickets to True Grit in the donation bucket at Señor Fish last night. Well, that’s bound to happen. Exactly how conscious are you as you write this post? Do you realize you’re calling this a MORNING debriefing and it’s currently 12:23PM PST? Get your shit together man (and you wonder why only 52 people read your post yesterday). It’s a start; a pretty good start, actually. OK, keep telling yourself that. Why don’t you write a bit about it, huh? It’ll go into the “you don’t know what you’re doing” portion of your act. SHUT UP! OK, got to finish this post, convince myself paying $5 at Marty’s/The Open Mic is worth it, and…. SHIT I have a show on Friday. Yeah, you do. It’ll be fine. Really, it will be fine. Oh yeah, I’m sure opening with that new “New Year’s” bit is just going to kill. Are you being ironic with me, right now? You’re funny. Thanks for that. Finally. ———– (those dashes are italicized)

2) I’m really trying to soak in the greatness of last night at Señor Fish and the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Thanks once again to Jackie Kashian, Andy Peters, the multitude of comics that came out, and $2 fish tacos. See you guys next Tuesday for another extravaganza and a half (maybe I’ll even have the Big Trouble in Little China Soundtrack by that point).

3) The Comedy Bureau staff actually got into a huge debate as what to post on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. The ordeal is fortunately is over and was strangely brought to an end by everyone getting their coffee and taking the office dog for a walk. You’ve Seen These Guys @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 drink min., Frolic @ Far Bar 9PM FREE, “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8/free beer, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland, Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/multiple sets allowed.

5) New Tenacious D album to be expected at the end of 2011. That’s all you should need to know for now. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

6) I’m barely conscious enough to type today’s post and I know I said I was going to say who to vote for Comedy Central’s Stand Up Showdown, but just check back at the Comedy Bureau for my recommendations. (in the meantime vote for Matt Braunger, Ryan Stout, and Mo Mandel)

7) Matt Braunger was on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. If you missed it like I did because you hate yourself like I do (that part is not necessary) you can catch it here.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LAUREN ASHLEY BISHOP "@sbellelauren well. we just beat ourselves. good game bourbon.“ Lauren is about to tour THE WORLD (she’s doing comedy in Africa in a few days). Forget about skipping to your local comedy club to do/see a few minutes about whatever is trending on Twitter. Sharp in her observations in her life and her views on the world, Lauren will hopefully come back to LA soon to share her comedic "wealth” (comedy, not money…. though money would be nice). Tumblr. Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy French Stewart, Burt Reynolds, and Sean Connery

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Someone really left tickets to True Grit from last year in the donation bucket last night.

11) Some people think that this might be my job because it seemingly takes up all my time. Anyone who wants to make that a 100% true statement, your help would be greatly appreciated.

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1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share. Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the "mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out. At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself. Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night. Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic. Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.). To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently. You can vote here. I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively. Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today. Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.” Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN "@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.“ Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the "aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc. Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success. Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau. Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy. I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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1) In regards to Huffington Post’s “50 Funniest People of the Decade”, do those in charge of “informing” the public on “what is comedy” even know what comedy is anymore? Within their end-all, be all list for 2001-2010, they, first off, include Anderson Cooper, a strict journalist. Out of entire 10 years of comedy, the Huffington Post Comedy Staff actually decided to put the names Anderson Cooper amongst names like Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Conan O’Brien, and Paul F. Tompkins, which can only leave me to draw the conclusion that, like so many other “Best/Most Ever” lists, this is more of a popularity contest. Just like winning the Grammy for “Best Hip Hop Artist” has no actual bearing on talent so much as it does Soundscan’s numbers on someone’s shitty, air-horn laden, drenched-in-autotune single, being put on this particular list of who were the funniest people in the last ten years doesn’t necessarily indicate that the person “defined comedy” in that time (which is what the name of the list leads readers to believe). I understand that compiling such lists are incredibly stressful and time-consuming as I spent nearly three solid hours composing #Follow2011LAfunniest, a list of who you should follow on Twitter in 2011 (which is way better than Huffington Post version, if I may say so myself). There is a constant debate, even with only one person calling the shots, in trying to decide who makes the cut, but, you have to be objective as possible with what you’re compiling the list for. Thus, Huffington Post should have made “The 50 Funniest People that I Happen To Know About and/or Are Really Popular” to be more accurate. That’s why #Follow2011LAfunniest has people that may not have as many followers as @azizansari, but are consistently funnier than him along their entire log of Tweets. Several people are surprised with omissions of this Huffington Post list considering they are comedians/writers that are much funnier than the one’s featured. However, in deciphering what that list is really based on, I’m surprised that names omitted include Larry King and Russell Peters.

2) Oh, look, all kidding aside, you could physically make all of these shows, for once, on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL (as well as afford them): The Not So Inappropriate Show @ UCB Theatre 4PM $12 (stand-by only), ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7PM FREE, French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS (call 310 652 6188 before going) 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM, SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) STARTING JAN. 3RD (that’s tomorrow) Scott Aukerman of Comedy Death Ray will host IFC’s own “Comedy Death Ray” featuring a 90 minute block of now-comedy classics like “Arrested Development”, “Freaks and Geeks”, “Undeclared”, “The Larry Sanders Show”, and “The Ben Stiller Show”. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, tune in on IFC at 10PM to not only catch some of the best comedy series ever created, but Scott Aukerman and several other figures within the comedy world weighing in on them.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo. Jokes. Destruction of public property. Fish Tacos. Jackie Kashian & Andy Peters. Don’t miss it. Señor Fish 422 E. 1st St. Sign up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LIZZY COOPERMAN: “AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR [HQ]” Lizzy is almost beyond words, but here I am, yet again, writing about her comedic genius. Three Time Tip of the Hat winner Lizzy Cooperman is of such a rare ilk of skilled comedic performer that she still makes me laugh with the same jokes even though I’ve heard them 20 times. You can “witness” her this Tues. Jan 4th at Shooting Gallery @ Club 8572/Palms 8:30PM $10 or Thurs. Jan. 6th at Persona @ The Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Website. Twitter. Birds of Prey.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ron Lynch-Comedian of the Future

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. In 2011, there are no other problems, except the Comedy Bureau having $nothing.

9) 2011 Comedy Predictions: Getting a Favstar 100 on Twitter will become more important than doing certain rooms/shows.

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1) Seriously, all irony aside, one great BIG thank you to everyone who came out to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic last night. IT WAS BLAST!! MATT KNUDSEN AND TONY SAM WERE A BLAST!!! EVERYONE WAS A BLAST!! In fact, management at Señor Fish has liked what we do so much that they’re putting an order in for a spotlight. How about that? The venue actually wanting to help the show. Again, thanks to all your support, only bigger and better things will come along for this room. NEXT WEEK ROUNDHOUSE KICKING THE YEAR OFF: JACKIE KASHIAN & ANDY PETERS!!! Don’t miss out ¼ @ Señor Fish!!!

2) Looking for a new year’s resolution, but don’t know exactly what to abstain from for a month? Perhaps you’ll get inspired at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Lettuce Entertain You (with Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Women Who Kill @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 drink min. The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Biscuits & Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284 1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 min./10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Corollary to Pound for Pound Open Mics. Note: Open mics on the weekend are generally pretty rough to do and I usually try to do other things comedy wise, but if you insist on finding somewhere to perform, here are my recommendations.
Saturday: Westside Comedy Theatre-Though short on stage time, people do occasionally wander in.
Sunday: Marty’s/The Open Mic-You do have to pay $5 and there’s no real opportunity for real people to watch you, but you do get to perform as many times as you want as well as experiencing a very diverse crowd of comics.

5) Now a word from some commercial sponsors at T-mobile. OH LOOK… it’s Barry Rothbart. (Note: The Comedy Bureau doesn’t have any sponsors)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JARROD HARRIS-“@JarrodHarris ‘Hey, everyone makes mistakes.’ – Wayne Harris: I’ll never ask my dad what it was like when I was born again.” Touring throughout the country as part of the Southern Comedy Quartet, Jarrod takes his very personal, painfully funny brand of comedy thankfully throughout the entirety of the Los Angeles comedy scene. You can actually check him out tonight on his show Biscuits & Gravy down at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Don’t miss out on his website, Twitter, or hilarious video series Action Figure Therapy.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Tracy Morgan Interview on Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Please x 10,000,000.

9) I’ve been writing for the Comedy Bureau for 2 months straight and just now realized it. I was really hoping it was a year before I had lost sense of time. Oh well….

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1) As promised, here’s a very efficient breakdown of the POUND FOR POUND OPEN MICS for during the work week (going up on the weekends can be really tough and i’ll have a corollary to this list tomorrow) Selection of the following open mics is based on first-hand experience with the open mic on several occasions, the room’s overall inclination for performers to want to do material, having a chance of performing in front of a “real” audience", and then not dabble with the thought of quitting or committing suicide after. Check back at the Comedy Bureau daily for details of when and exactly where these open mics take place.
Monday: Tribal Cafe/Ground Zero USC-Tribal Cafe offers a great amount of stage time, Echo Park locals/hipsters actually sit in and listen, and no minimum. If you can obtain a USC student ID, Ground Zero is one of the best open mics as you could literally be performing for over 100 people.
Tuesday: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish-“Better than a comedy club in the OC”-Robert Blair (real person who sat through all 3 hours of the open mic)
Wednesday: Library A Coffee House-real people actually come back to listen to comedy, decent stage time
Thursday: Cafe on 2nd/Sandwich Spot-Cafe on 2nd has almost no comics and though there’s a $3 cover, you guaranteed 10 min. Sandwich Spot just has a great energy about it much in part to host Dan Reutter as well as getting a good amount of stage time.
Friday: iCandy/Trinity Church Open Mic-iCandy has a great energy about as new host/producer Shayne Michael has revitalized the open mic like a show. Trinity Church Open Mic is a great setting for working out material, though you have to be squeaky clean, as everyone there came to see the performers, intently listens, and wants to laugh. Also, there’s delicious food for a suggested donation.

2) We’re in that purgatory week, merely waiting for the end of the year/next time we can get unabashedly trashed while suffering little consequence because the mere changing of calendars apparently means you’re absolved of wrong doings. Start along that path on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Pop & Politics w/Jimmy Dore @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, then Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min., and finish with Incubator @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The entire Comedy Bureau staff would like to extend its congratulations to Louis CK, his show Louie, sketch group Birds of Prey, The Morning After Podcast, Rob Delaney, and Garfunkel and Oates for winning their respective categories in Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010. Check out details here.

5) Asterios Kokkinos ADDED 2 MORE TUMBLRS to his Family of Tumblrs (there’s 7 of them rascals now), one of which is actually dedicated to keeping you abreast of the details on all of the other “family members”. Check out Asterios’ Facebook Wars and all encompassing Asterios Kokkinos Family of Tumblrs. If you follow all 7, Asterios will make a personal photo badge of you to commemorate your dedication to his comedy. Like, Scott Bowser…

6) On Dec. 15th, The Nerdist Podcast took over the regular scheduled awesome weekly show Meltdown at Meltdown Comics and presented COMEDIANS YOU SHOULD KNOW. We here at the Comedy Bureau tend to agree with the Nerdist on that notion as it includes Matt Braunger, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Cibis, Jonah Ray, Kyle Kinane, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Fairbanks. Here is a live recording of the events as they happened.

7) It’s been mentioned several times already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is happening tonight!!! Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/raffles/yelling at Russell/Tony Sam/Russell yelling back at Jake/Matt Knudsen/$2 fish tacos. ALL AT SEÑOR FISH. Don’t miss out.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAKE WEISMAN wrote on Facebook yesterday “SOMETIMES I PLAY A GAME WHERE I IMITATE A MEOW AS BEST I CAN AND THEN MY CATS COME SNIFF ME BECAUSE THEY SENSE I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE NATURAL CARETAKERS AND YEAH I’VE GOT IT TOGETHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY.” As half the podcasting juggernaut that is The Morning After Podcast (Punchlist 2010’s Best New Podcast), Jake goes to any and all mics around town to talk about cats, porn, and more cats. He’s pretty damn funny about it too. Don’t miss out on The Morning After Podcast, Jake’s Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

10) Recently, a comic was surprised he was performing for comics at an open mic after Christmas. I am going to send this to Webster’s Dictionary as one of the examples for the definition of “irony”.

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3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO (call 310 824-0820 before going) 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

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1) Hashtags. #whatthehellisthis? #whydoIcare? Partially as a necessity to promote one’s self as a performer and partially as an indulgence into one’s own belief in their own genius, being on Twitter for comedians, not only in LA, but around the world, seems like a natural occurrence. Many comedians indeed just promote their shows/videos/podcasts/etc. while others tweet absolutely everything they do while other others even go further and actually utilize Twitter as a sort of “open mic” for jokes that might actually might make it into their act. Taking that all into consideration, the newest and possibly most interesting “comedian trend” on Twitter is the “joke hashtag” where a random, arcane topic, such as “fat indie bands”, is preceded by the “#” symbol and has no spaces in between, which follows an attempt at that topic. Ex. “@blitzkroeger Rage Against the Blood Pressure Machine #fatindiebands”. If you like subjecting yourself to following 400 people on Twitter and reading EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR TWEETS, then you’ll notice that many comedians all the way from big time “names” like Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) to some excellent “no-name” writers spend a considerable amount of time coming up for more tweets to add to that “joke hashtag”, when they will most likely never in their entire lifetime on stage, ever use any of that. In fact, nearly all of these types of tweets are extremely pun based and I can hardly see anyone using them onstage ever, much less on tour/on the road where Twitter terminology is quite possibly a foreign language. Yet, as a comedian, I feel compelled, like it’s running laps during 6th grade P.E. to join in on the “joke hashtag” fest. As this keeps happening and my time to be productive/be the Comedy Bureau is eaten away at, I ask myself why do I succumb to this and I’ve concluded that joining in on these “joke hashtags” is the new form of “riffing” over dinner or while smoking outside that, above all else, keeps you sharp, thinking on your toes, and ready for something that isn’t in your element. As I’ve come to see the value in thinking what some more “#failedrockbandmovies” are, I would say to comics, perhaps join in on some “joke hashtags” to work out your brain for later when writing your own material and, sometimes (emphasis on sometimes) to actually have fun. #whatanovelconcept #articlesnoonecaresabout

2) For branding purposes only, I am maintaining the term “COMEDY CRAWL” for tonight even though there is only one show I would recommend. For tonight, go to Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) It has been brought to my attention that people actually read the CHAIN OF COMMAND section of the Comedy Bureau and are curious as to the nature of the other members. Consigliere Joe Braza, Field Liaison Jeremy Paul, and Assistant to the Field Liaison Russell Corona are all dedicated members of the Comedy Bureau hand picked by me/the Bureau Director himself to ensure that I don’t go completely insane in trying to issue out the “debriefing” everyday. Also, they take care a lot of heavy lifting and any ancillary dirty work that I need done. In addition to all of that, they comprise of some of the funniest folks I know. To all those interested in contributing to the Comedy Bureau, before you find me, I’ll find you OR just e-mail thecomedybureau@gmail.com

5) It was asked of me several weeks ago that I list the “Pound for Pound” Open Mics in the Los Angeles area for every day of the week as I’m the guy whose willing to drive to such mythical places as Alhambra and Carson and even beyond for some stage time. The wait for this list is over… tomorrow and then everyone can see what’s the best place to actually try out material instead of risking doing so when booked.

6) TOMORROW is the premiere of Part 8 of the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Don’t miss cheap food, cheap beer, cheap Tony Sam and Matt Knudsen, some cheap great laughs, and cheap “big trouble” at Señor Fish. Be at 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA at 6:30PM for sign-up and 7PM for the start. That is all.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAN DAVIDSON-“Interview with a Virgin” Being named one of the “Funniest Moms in America” by Nick at Nite might lead you to believe that Jan Davidson tells cute jokes about her kids, but you couldn’t be more mistaken. Jan is one of the more edgy, innovative, amazing performers amongst, not just mothers, but all comics that I’ve come across in my travels as the Comedy Bureau and certainly a joy to watch. Please check her myspace page and/or back at the Comedy Bureau for more on Jan and her next performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

10) In reference to my act, I was just told by my dad that “being unable to get a girl” and “hating your mother” are not relatable topics of discussion. I must be out of touch with our “zeitgeist” as everyone is APPARENTLY successfully dating and are members of a fully functional, totally agreeable nuclear family unit. My apologies Comedy Community/Los Angeles/America.

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8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Eddie Pepitone heckles himself

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because I still don’t work for LA weekly or the LA times and don’t have a glass office, which this lovely minimalist inspired site might lead you to believe.

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