cafe on 2nd

Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

Morning Debriefing 1/5/11

Morning Debriefing 12/29/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

Morning Debriefing 12/8/10

Morning Debriefing 12/2/10

Morning Debriefing 11/24/10

Morning Debriefing 11/18/10

Post Brunch Update 11/4/10

Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

Post Brunch Update 1/6/11

Morning Debriefing 1/5/11

Morning Debriefing 12/29/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/28/10

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

Morning Debriefing 12/23/10

Morning Debriefing 12/22/10

Morning Debriefing 12/15/10

Morning Debriefing 12/8/10

Morning Debriefing 12/2/10

Morning Debriefing 11/24/10

Morning Debriefing 11/18/10

Post Brunch Update 11/4/10

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

2) Forget about the N word being taken out of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn and how he must be rolling in his grave LAUGHING and saying, “I told you so!” Go on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL instead. Persona @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $5/free for comics, The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, Fifty First Jokes @ Zephyr Theatre 9:30PM $7 (stand-by only), How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica/Starts 7PM, COMEDY CRATE OPEN MIC 1061 S. La Brea, Ingelwood, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Next Tues. Jan. 11th. Louis CK will be dropping his upcoming album “Hilarious”. You should go buy it. I don’t think I can make this anymore matter-of-fact than the last two sentences except for this next one. Just go and buy it.

5) If you suffer from not having enough Marc Maron in your smartphone like I do, there is now a WTF Podcast w/Marc Maron app available for the iPhone, iPod, and iPad that you can stream multitudes of episodes off of or even be able to call the show when it’s taping. It’s Marc Maron for only $0.99. You can’t really turn that down. Really.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to DAN DOMINGUEZ-“@dandomingueznow And, Lo a pale rider, on a skeletal horse, and Hell followed with him, and behind Hell: Incredible savings! Over 30% off on all housewares!” Dan not only cheats the edges of absurdity with his comedy, but comprises one third of the force that is the Biggest Mistake Podcast (other 2/3 is Paul Jay and Jen Goldberg) and a major part of the “manly as f” site manosterone.com. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for show dates as you don’t want to miss whatever Dan is going to say next. Website. Twitter.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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1) It’s simply not enough to say that Frolic @ Far Bar is just a great show with a fantastic line-up of comics (which it is). With live comedy, running over 90 minutes, in my opinion, one enters extremely tricky territory as the audience tires, settles their check, and checks any pertinent e-mail/texts. Yet producer/comic Josh Rencher

put together such a tightly-run show with a plethora of great comics (who are so funny that it doesn’t matter that they have “credits” even though they all do) comprising what could be four different amazing shows on their own that I was able to sit and watch and laugh with the packed room throughout for the entire duration (approximately 2 hours). As host (and as cliché as this sounds, it’s true) with the most Asterios Kokkinos said, “There’s no fat on this show.” Within one of the parts of LA that actually looks like a city and has the type of nightlife where people actually WALK around, Little Tokyo, the hip, though very retro Far Bar offered Rencher’s Frolic! that very intimate setting that live comedy demands to work. Thus I simply enjoyed a night of some of my absolute favorites comics in LA that are regularly featured here at the Comedy Bureau and more: Host Asterios Kokkinos,

Brent Weinbach,

Zach Sherwin,

Kyle Kinane,

Melissa Villaseñor,

and Eddie Pepitone.

None of those people should be missed wherever they’re performing, but certainly not at the Frolic show. Unfortunately, Frolic will be on hiatus until a date and location to be yet determined, but check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on the next one.

6) My faith in people has just been partially restored (approximately 2%) Conan O’Brien just won a People’s Choice Awards for Best Talk Show Host as you can see here.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Richard Pryor on Love

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. This is day 4 without food, and by food, I mean sanity…. Also, day 4 is really day 78.

10) Only other that is stupider than asking to be heckled on stage is telling a crowd that they don’t deserve you and then stay silent for the rest of your 5 minutes.

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1) Now for another edition of “I Know What You’re Thinking… (No, You Don’t)”. The thoughts (as fragmented and schizo as they might be) of Comedy Bureau Director Jake Kroeger/@blitzkroeger on Twitter.—PEOPLE MUST THINK THIS PART OF THE MORNING DEBRIEFING SHOULD BE CALLED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!! Really, how many people do you think read every part of this site? STOP IT ALREADY! You had a good comedy night. Oh really? Someone left Dec. 26th tickets to True Grit in the donation bucket at Señor Fish last night. Well, that’s bound to happen. Exactly how conscious are you as you write this post? Do you realize you’re calling this a MORNING debriefing and it’s currently 12:23PM PST? Get your shit together man (and you wonder why only 52 people read your post yesterday). It’s a start; a pretty good start, actually. OK, keep telling yourself that. Why don’t you write a bit about it, huh? It’ll go into the “you don’t know what you’re doing” portion of your act. SHUT UP! OK, got to finish this post, convince myself paying $5 at Marty’s/The Open Mic is worth it, and…. SHIT I have a show on Friday. Yeah, you do. It’ll be fine. Really, it will be fine. Oh yeah, I’m sure opening with that new “New Year’s” bit is just going to kill. Are you being ironic with me, right now? You’re funny. Thanks for that. Finally. ———– (those dashes are italicized)

2) I’m really trying to soak in the greatness of last night at Señor Fish and the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. Thanks once again to Jackie Kashian, Andy Peters, the multitude of comics that came out, and $2 fish tacos. See you guys next Tuesday for another extravaganza and a half (maybe I’ll even have the Big Trouble in Little China Soundtrack by that point).

3) The Comedy Bureau staff actually got into a huge debate as what to post on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. The ordeal is fortunately is over and was strangely brought to an end by everyone getting their coffee and taking the office dog for a walk. You’ve Seen These Guys @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 drink min., Frolic @ Far Bar 9PM FREE, “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8/free beer, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE.

4) OPEN MIC RUN: SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland, Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM, THE LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/multiple sets allowed.

5) New Tenacious D album to be expected at the end of 2011. That’s all you should need to know for now. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

6) I’m barely conscious enough to type today’s post and I know I said I was going to say who to vote for Comedy Central’s Stand Up Showdown, but just check back at the Comedy Bureau for my recommendations. (in the meantime vote for Matt Braunger, Ryan Stout, and Mo Mandel)

7) Matt Braunger was on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. If you missed it like I did because you hate yourself like I do (that part is not necessary) you can catch it here.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to LAUREN ASHLEY BISHOP "@sbellelauren well. we just beat ourselves. good game bourbon.“ Lauren is about to tour THE WORLD (she’s doing comedy in Africa in a few days). Forget about skipping to your local comedy club to do/see a few minutes about whatever is trending on Twitter. Sharp in her observations in her life and her views on the world, Lauren will hopefully come back to LA soon to share her comedic "wealth” (comedy, not money…. though money would be nice). Tumblr. Twitter.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy French Stewart, Burt Reynolds, and Sean Connery

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Someone really left tickets to True Grit from last year in the donation bucket last night.

11) Some people think that this might be my job because it seemingly takes up all my time. Anyone who wants to make that a 100% true statement, your help would be greatly appreciated.

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1) Seriously, all irony aside, one great BIG thank you to everyone who came out to the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic last night. IT WAS BLAST!! MATT KNUDSEN AND TONY SAM WERE A BLAST!!! EVERYONE WAS A BLAST!! In fact, management at Señor Fish has liked what we do so much that they’re putting an order in for a spotlight. How about that? The venue actually wanting to help the show. Again, thanks to all your support, only bigger and better things will come along for this room. NEXT WEEK ROUNDHOUSE KICKING THE YEAR OFF: JACKIE KASHIAN & ANDY PETERS!!! Don’t miss out ¼ @ Señor Fish!!!

2) Looking for a new year’s resolution, but don’t know exactly what to abstain from for a month? Perhaps you’ll get inspired at tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Lettuce Entertain You (with Stand Up) @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Women Who Kill @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 drink min. The Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Biscuits & Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5, Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, and Nighttime w/Dominic Dierkes @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284 1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 min./10 min. guaranteed, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Corollary to Pound for Pound Open Mics. Note: Open mics on the weekend are generally pretty rough to do and I usually try to do other things comedy wise, but if you insist on finding somewhere to perform, here are my recommendations.
Saturday: Westside Comedy Theatre-Though short on stage time, people do occasionally wander in.
Sunday: Marty’s/The Open Mic-You do have to pay $5 and there’s no real opportunity for real people to watch you, but you do get to perform as many times as you want as well as experiencing a very diverse crowd of comics.

5) Now a word from some commercial sponsors at T-mobile. OH LOOK… it’s Barry Rothbart. (Note: The Comedy Bureau doesn’t have any sponsors)

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JARROD HARRIS-“@JarrodHarris ‘Hey, everyone makes mistakes.’ – Wayne Harris: I’ll never ask my dad what it was like when I was born again.” Touring throughout the country as part of the Southern Comedy Quartet, Jarrod takes his very personal, painfully funny brand of comedy thankfully throughout the entirety of the Los Angeles comedy scene. You can actually check him out tonight on his show Biscuits & Gravy down at the Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5. Don’t miss out on his website, Twitter, or hilarious video series Action Figure Therapy.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Tracy Morgan Interview on Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Please x 10,000,000.

9) I’ve been writing for the Comedy Bureau for 2 months straight and just now realized it. I was really hoping it was a year before I had lost sense of time. Oh well….

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1) As promised, here’s a very efficient breakdown of the POUND FOR POUND OPEN MICS for during the work week (going up on the weekends can be really tough and i’ll have a corollary to this list tomorrow) Selection of the following open mics is based on first-hand experience with the open mic on several occasions, the room’s overall inclination for performers to want to do material, having a chance of performing in front of a “real” audience", and then not dabble with the thought of quitting or committing suicide after. Check back at the Comedy Bureau daily for details of when and exactly where these open mics take place.
Monday: Tribal Cafe/Ground Zero USC-Tribal Cafe offers a great amount of stage time, Echo Park locals/hipsters actually sit in and listen, and no minimum. If you can obtain a USC student ID, Ground Zero is one of the best open mics as you could literally be performing for over 100 people.
Tuesday: Big Trouble in Little Tokyo @ Señor Fish-“Better than a comedy club in the OC”-Robert Blair (real person who sat through all 3 hours of the open mic)
Wednesday: Library A Coffee House-real people actually come back to listen to comedy, decent stage time
Thursday: Cafe on 2nd/Sandwich Spot-Cafe on 2nd has almost no comics and though there’s a $3 cover, you guaranteed 10 min. Sandwich Spot just has a great energy about it much in part to host Dan Reutter as well as getting a good amount of stage time.
Friday: iCandy/Trinity Church Open Mic-iCandy has a great energy about as new host/producer Shayne Michael has revitalized the open mic like a show. Trinity Church Open Mic is a great setting for working out material, though you have to be squeaky clean, as everyone there came to see the performers, intently listens, and wants to laugh. Also, there’s delicious food for a suggested donation.

2) We’re in that purgatory week, merely waiting for the end of the year/next time we can get unabashedly trashed while suffering little consequence because the mere changing of calendars apparently means you’re absolved of wrong doings. Start along that path on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL with Pop & Politics w/Jimmy Dore @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, then Alonzo Bodden @ Comedy and Magic Club 8PM $15/2 drink min., and finish with Incubator @ UCB Theatre 10PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) The entire Comedy Bureau staff would like to extend its congratulations to Louis CK, his show Louie, sketch group Birds of Prey, The Morning After Podcast, Rob Delaney, and Garfunkel and Oates for winning their respective categories in Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010. Check out details here.

5) Asterios Kokkinos ADDED 2 MORE TUMBLRS to his Family of Tumblrs (there’s 7 of them rascals now), one of which is actually dedicated to keeping you abreast of the details on all of the other “family members”. Check out Asterios’ Facebook Wars and all encompassing Asterios Kokkinos Family of Tumblrs. If you follow all 7, Asterios will make a personal photo badge of you to commemorate your dedication to his comedy. Like, Scott Bowser…

6) On Dec. 15th, The Nerdist Podcast took over the regular scheduled awesome weekly show Meltdown at Meltdown Comics and presented COMEDIANS YOU SHOULD KNOW. We here at the Comedy Bureau tend to agree with the Nerdist on that notion as it includes Matt Braunger, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Cibis, Jonah Ray, Kyle Kinane, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Fairbanks. Here is a live recording of the events as they happened.

7) It’s been mentioned several times already, but BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO OPEN MIC is happening tonight!!! Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/raffles/yelling at Russell/Tony Sam/Russell yelling back at Jake/Matt Knudsen/$2 fish tacos. ALL AT SEÑOR FISH. Don’t miss out.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAKE WEISMAN wrote on Facebook yesterday “SOMETIMES I PLAY A GAME WHERE I IMITATE A MEOW AS BEST I CAN AND THEN MY CATS COME SNIFF ME BECAUSE THEY SENSE I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE NATURAL CARETAKERS AND YEAH I’VE GOT IT TOGETHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY.” As half the podcasting juggernaut that is The Morning After Podcast (Punchlist 2010’s Best New Podcast), Jake goes to any and all mics around town to talk about cats, porn, and more cats. He’s pretty damn funny about it too. Don’t miss out on The Morning After Podcast, Jake’s Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on his next show.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

10) Recently, a comic was surprised he was performing for comics at an open mic after Christmas. I am going to send this to Webster’s Dictionary as one of the examples for the definition of “irony”.

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3) OPEN MIC RUN: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo/near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St. #A, Carson, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM, COFFEE GALLERY (call 626 398 7917 before going) 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO (call 310 824-0820 before going) 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd. (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s), Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Emo Phillips-Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau because the world will end in four days. Did no one tell you it’s already 2011 going on 2012?

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1) The Library: A Coffee House Open Mic serves as yet another example of what driving outside of Hollywood/LA area will get you in terms of looking for decent open mic stage time as a comic. With a set-up resembling the living room of a standard hipster bookworm and no stage, there’s actually a sort welcoming, “at home” atmosphere that I personally find encouraging, especially in the sense that I can go into material productively as opposed to being forced to riff/do aggressive crowd work to get any sort of response. Hosted endearingly by Nick Petrillo, all comics that come down get 7 minutes, without having to pay any sort of cover charge, and there’s usually a small, but real crowd of people that sometimes, surprisingly, knows that there’s a comedy open mic happening and sticks around to listen. To all those not within the immediate Long Beach vicinity, if you can make it out to 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA by 8PM (sign-up is first come, first served), I highly suggest you do so as it another The Comedy Bureau has just deemed it another “Bureau Approved” open mic.

2) I suggest that you flip a coin to decide which of the two shows that you would go to on tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL then ignore the result and just go to both of them anyway. Go to Roast of Baby Jesus @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand-by only) and The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SIPOLOGY (call 562 432 4800 before going) 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS OR Johnny Pemberton as host of MEGADRIVE on MTV, also at 11PM. Though, you were probably going to watch both of those ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

5) Garfunkel and Oates contribution to Christmas lore has been now documented and solidified with the addition of the term “present face” on urbandictionary.com: Present Face-the face you make when you get a really terrible present but don’t want to hurt anybodies feelings. EX. “I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.” Don’t miss the hilarious video accompaniment to this right here. Also, if you have a “present face” that you would like to share with Garfunkel and Oates, send a picture to mypresentface@gmail.com to help make the Present Face video of 2010.

6) Punchline Magazine’s Punchlist 2010 is still open. GO VOTE…. oh, and if you need some recommendations… here’s a few in this post.

7) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

8) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

9) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

10) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

11) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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3) OPEN MIC RUN: SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, SANDWICH SPOT (call 310 396-7768) 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Starts 7PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) The rain has gone away, but if you’re just too comfy in your day bed watching youtube clips, you can stay right where you are and watch Reggie Watts on Conan at 11PM TBS. Though, you were probably going to watch Conan ANYWAY, right….? Because that’s what you should be doing….

6) As I announced several posts ago, instead of making a simple “10 best of 2010” type of list, I will one-up all other comedy websites/blogs by making a “10 BEST OF ‘best of 2010 lists’ LIST” very soon. From nationally recognized and respected lists to one’s that some guy just made on his Tumblr, they all have been gathered and taken into consideration and are currently being sorted through at the Comedy Bureau so you don’t have to wonder which one to listen to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MARIANNE SIERK-“@mrrrianne Santa came early – left me a pile of MAGIC TERMITE WINGS next to my window sill. I must have been a very good girl.” The lovely Marianne Sierk is quite deceptive every time she takes the stage as she has a very sweet demeanor, but crushes with her comedy, making sure she brings “the goods” every time. Touring colleges and corporations throughout the country, Marianne should never be missed, even if you have a moderate interest in comedy or laughing in general. Here are Marianne’s Website and Twitter. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next LA performance.

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Reggie Watts-Fuck Shit Stack

9) Donate to the Comedy Bureau so I can afford a bandwagon for everyone to jump on…. so they could donate again.

10) The Comedy Bureau currently has 109 followers on twitter, 62 on tumblr, 114 on facebook, and a startling number of people who know who I am without ever having talked to me…. that number being 2.

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1) BIG THANKS to EVERYONE who made it out to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH last night despite government issued warning of flash floods in the downtown LA area. Dedication and support like this is what makes “real people” say that this OPEN MIC is better than comedy clubs in the OC (claim from an audience member who didn’t know that there was comedy and stuck around until the end of the show). Special thanks once again to MARIANNE SIERK working her magic just like she does on decaf coffee. NEXT WEEK: PART 8 w/TONY SAM!!! AND MATT KNUDSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Three days until Christmas and I’m still short on gifts. I’m going to do/see comedy about that instead of alleviating the problem and so should you. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL features Christmas Conspiracy @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5, Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World LIVE @ Bar Lubitsch FREE 8PM, Last Call Comedy @ Irvine Improv $15/2 item min., Thai Rivera @ Ontario Improv 8PM $10/2 item min., and Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then go buy gifts at Rite-Aid because they’ll be open. And cheap.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND (call 626 284-1292 before going) 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min., MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) One of the cleverest comics I know in Los Angeles, Aparna Nancherla, was recently interviewed on NPR. Though, the title of the post reads, “Rookie Comedienne Likes Her Chances in LA”, Aparna has a wit and mastery of word play that is deserving of being featured on NPR, which you should check out here.

5) One night, a drifter randomly called out to me, “Yo ASSWIPE!! You got any weed?” as I was walking to my car and, for whatever reason, I wish Larry David was there, not instead of me, but with me, so I could witness his brilliance in action. Here’s a bit of it as Larry David contributes to the NY Times w/ “Thanks for the Tax Cut”.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to ALISON AGOSTI: “@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” "Former" podcaster that several people in the LA comedy community wish to resume her podcast “Live From a Shoebox”, Alison Agosti, though I’ve never personally had the pleasure of meeting her, has quite the delightfully dark sense of humor on Twitter that’s a joy to read everyday. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on if she resumes her podcasting duties and absolutely follow her on Twitter and/or her blog.

7) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Ultimate 11 Worst Open Mic Comics-Weird Comic

8) I know that there’s a lot of people that are offering support to Biggest Mistake’s Jen Goldberg’s predicament in her “chipwich debt” to comedian Asterios Kokkinos, but if you have any surplus “support” in the form of donations from helping them out, the Comedy Bureau would greatly appreciate it being sent our way.

9) There is something significant to be said of the “jaded” quotient here in Los Angeles as many comics have moved on to New Year’s Resolution material only three days away from Christmas.

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1) It’s the nature of any comedy scene that shows come and go, but it’s a real tragedy to see a show put on by great people shut down. In the past week, two such shows, Sweet and Sour Comedy and The Akaaba Presents, reached their end of their runs due to the unfortunate circumstance that the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area is overrun with comedy shows as you can see in the “The Greater LA Comedy Landscape” Map. Abbey Londer (Sweet and Sour Comedy), Jeremy Paul & Joe Braza (The Akaaba Presents) are some of the funniest and best, most decent people I have come to know in LA comedy, but, most venues don’t really care about the intangibles of comedy so much as they care about turning a profit off of a show whether it’s well-produced and truly funny OR abusively-run and hacky. With a city overpopulated with live comedy shows/venues and the predominant perception of live comedy being loud-mouthed, rude, and completely uncouth that relies more on shock and x-rated content than any sort of comedic artistry, getting the average “real” person to a comedy show in LA is almost a miracle. To have things change in LA Comedy, and to even suggest this in times like these requires a serious lack of sanity, is to change people’s perceptions of what comedy really is or at least broaden their idea of it to include smart, insightful humor from incredibly hard-working and talented folks that perform night in and night out mostly for free. Most people aren’t even aware that “we”, (in case you are a real person that hasn’t met me personally, I’m one of “those” comics too) exist and I try to remedy that problem as much as I can through this blog and The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List, but really, I’m only one guy with a laptop, a camera, an iPhone, and some decent material. Perhaps, in the coming year, the Comedy Bureau will grow to a big enough proportion where change can be affected through one fell swoop of me typing so I won’t have to worry about trying to see damn hilarious people like Abbey, Jeremy, and Joe live because their shows ended permanently. Check back here for progress on that front.

2) This entire week’s COMEDY CRAWL is seemingly jam packed before most shows go into hibernation for the holidays, so make sure you catch all the comedy you can before you stuck with a season of a TV show you didn’t want on DVD. Start with Merrillwood Live @ Paul G Gleason Theatre 7PM FREE, then Comedy on the Rocks @ Red Rock Bar & Eatery 7:30PM $5, then “If This Doesn’t Work I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour Christmas Special @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, then The Nerdist Presents “Comics You Should Know” @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, then Fix-Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15, then The Long Shot Podcast Season 2 Finale @ The Fake Gallery 8:30PM $5, then Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ Westside Comedy Theatre 9PM $8, then Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, and finish with Anna Lee Lawson Comedy Hour @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, THE BASEMENT 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, CA/7PM to 8:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

4) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” officially dropped yesterday on AST Records and, yes, you should have picked it up yesterday, but, now, you can make up for that by picking it up today.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to MATT CHAMPAGNE-Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.”
Matt Champagne is simultaneously witty and insightful and then incredibly animated when he takes the stage, which is why he is a favorite of many rooms in LA. You can catch him live tomorrow at A Pint of Funny @ O’Brien’s Pub (2941 Main St., Santa Monica, CA) 8PM and you should never miss his daily thoughts in word form on his blog I Remain Champagne.

6) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Norm MacDonald’s Final Appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

7) I already made a plug for donations above, so…. I’ll just do it again here.

8) An elderly woman a few nights ago softly clasped my forearm and said, “I’m looking for a young Steven Wright.” I did walk away and was shocked by the, at least, 40 years age difference AND the fact she obviously never listened to anything I said because I don’t do one-liners.

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1) BIG THANKS to everyone who came out to cause some BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO (there’s no intentional reference to Dec. 7th, 1941 here)!!! Thanks once again to the fantastic ABBEY LONDER!!! Next week: We find the girls with green eyes and TONY SAM and JAMIE LEE!! WHAT!??!?!? DEC. 14TH. SEÑOR FISH. SIGN UP 6:30PM. STARTS 7PM.

2) COMEDY CRAWL COMICTHON @ Hollywood Laugh Factory HAPPENING RIGHT NOW one unwrapped toy, Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5, “If This Doesn’t Work, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE, Eagle Rock Comedy Festival @ The York, Coffee Table Lounge, Brownstone Pizzeria, and more 8PM FREE, Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Riot! @ El Cid 9:30PM $10, Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE, The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM/1 item min., THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign up (lottery) 7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Some regular readers of the Comedy Bureau posts wonder what I’m going to do as a “Year in the Review” since several other comedy news websites are already doing their “Year in Review” posts or countdowns/top 10 lists. Again, one of the goals here at the Comedy Bureau is to get rid of “comedy red tape” and as such, I’m going to make a “Top 10 List of 2010 Comedy Lists” so you don’t have to wonder about which list to actually pay attention to. Check back at the Comedy Bureau for more details.

5) Paul F Tompkins DVD “You Should Have Told Me” NOW available for pre-sale at AST Records. Consider it as one of those “Christmas presents for yourself”, especially if you live alone.

6) Brand Spankin’ New Podcasts are about to drop very soon on Earwolf from none other than Howard Kremer, Drew Droege, and Paul Scheer. I really shouldn’t have to say more than that, but you can indulge yourself in a higher word-count/more details here.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” to today to RYAN STOUT-“@stoutryan #StoutsGuideToSuicide – Tip 396 – The best day to kill yourself is ALWAYS yesterday.” Now having the select distinction of being one of three people to get another “Tip of the Hat”, Ryan shows why he’s regarded not only one of the fastest rising comics right now, but also why he’s one of the best joke writers in “the biz”. Check him out at his website and follow him on Twitter or suffer the consequences (inquire at thecomedybureau@gmail.com for details on consequences)

8) From the “You Should Have Been There” Lagoon: Late World w/Zach Galifianakis-Pre-School

9) Some asked why I would do Marty’s from 5PM to 11PM and it’s not because I’m a comedy masochist. I do it so none of you have to go through it in case you ever had the curiosity of what it may be like as you can see on Twitter (look for #martysmarathon). That’s why I ask for donations.

10) Comedy Bureau PSA to the General Public: No comic ever wants feedback in the form of audible comments DURING their set. THIS HAS NEVER BEEN THE CASE. So, please, show your appreciation/disdain in uproarious laughter/silence. This ad has been sponsored by the Comedy Bureau.

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1) OPEN LETTER TO PERFORMERS AT OPEN MICS: I know that we are all somewhat selfish, mostly insecure artists begging for validation that due to being in LA usually means laughter/compliments/kudos instead of money. However, at an open mic, the expectation is to WORK OUT material, which means it’s OK if that “brilliant” ten minutes you have just written about your ethnicity doesn’t work. That material “not working” is part of building an act and you have to combine honesty with yourself and faith in your material to “make it work”. So, at an open mic, DON’T ASK THE AUDIENCE/JUST COMICS WHETHER WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS FUNNY OR NOT. Open mics are NOT workshops where talking and asking are permitted. Open mics are intended, though it can be hard to gauge due to the setting, to simulate performing in front of an audience without the pressure. If you really want to know if it was funny, ask yourself, “Did they laugh?” and you’ll have your answer (that’s part of being honest with yourself). Asking for validation not only tests the already short patience of everyone else waiting to go up, but also brings about an atmosphere where everyone feels like they can offer suggestions during other people’s sets, which subsequently ruins the opportunity to try material without a chance for an honest response at all. If it’s quiet during your set at an open mic, do not worry about it as, again, the expectation isn’t to be funny, but to work out your act. In conclusion, at an open mic, stay quiet, listen, and laugh if someone says something funny, then go up and just do your act. That’s it. Do this as much as possible because the comedy community here in LA will recognize and respect “hard work” and you will become better (if you strive to make improvements).

2) Yes, Louis CK is in town, but I can’t afford that so I’m going to a show that very well might be just as good that’s completely free. That’s why I make the COMEDY CRAWL every night to give all you good folks some options. Start off with Christina Davis CD recording @ Room 5 7:30PM $10, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM FREE (call 323-568-1616 to be audience member), then Comedy and Cocktails @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe 8PM $5, then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Red Zebra @ Crocker Club 8PM FREE, Running Your Mouth-The Game Show @ Hudson Guild Theatre 8PM FREE (call 323-960-5519) then Louis CK: Word @ The Gibson Amphitheatre 8:15PM $57.60, then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then Paul Scheer’s 2nd Annual Sexy Christmas Spectacular @ Largo 9PM $20, then How to Live with Chelsea Peretti @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park, Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1160 N. Vermont, Los Angeles, CA/Starts 7PM, CAFÉ ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min. guaranteed, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA/Starts 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s).

4) As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I’ve updated both the Greater LA Open Mic Map and The Greater LA Comedy Landscape with a “highlighted line” of everything that’s happening comedy wise tonight, which there’s plenty (i.e. the line is all over the place. Check all of this by clicking OPEN MIC RUN and COMEDY CRAWL at the appropriate links posted.

5) The Paul F. Tompkins DVD is finally HERE thanks to the great folks at AST Records! Well, not quite yet… “You Should Have Told Me” will officially drop on Dec. 14th, but will be available for pre-sale next week at AST Records. The Comedy Bureau will remind you plenty until then…

6) If you’re agoraphobic, too acclimatized to LA weather and can’t handle the cold, or just love watching TV, don’t miss Matt Braunger (mentioned several times here at The Comedy Bureau) tonight on Chelsea Lately 11PM on E! and Johnny Pemberton on MTV as the host of Megadrive at 11PM.

7) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to NEIL HAMBURGER for his “tweeting storm” on the upcoming feature film Yogi Bear-“Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden "picnic baskets” to drug-addicted Oscar voters. #bestpicture/Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned in Poland since “Hitler’s Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also” was banned from theaters in 1967/Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake’s feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film/George W. Bush in “Decision Points”: “Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency”. #true/(CNN): “Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes”/(CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.“ Touring the entire U.S., Neil Hamburger takes his uniquely original brand of comedy that involves clearing his throat all throughout his act and often times holding several drinks while performing to wherever people will appreciate/hate him as he is heckled quite often (he released a record where he is severely heckled), which warrants comparisons to Andy Kaufman’s Tony Clifton. Neil has his own self-titled show in Los Angeles that’s currently on hiatus, but you can enjoy his website here and amazing Twitter here.

8) From the "You Should Have Been There” Lagoon (in conjunction with yesterday’s post): Stand Up Comedy Boot Camp Trailer

9) I’m using Coinstar today to afford lunch. Please donate to the Comedy Bureau and read about the inspired material/comedic journey from this event on Twitter here.

10) Steve-O is headlining the Irvine Improv this weekend. I hate initialisms and think they limit expressivity in the English language, but, seriously WTF!?!?

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1) A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to everyone who caused some GREAT BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO!!! Let’s do it again sometime… MEANING next Tuesday at the same time and in the same place. (hint: Sign-up 6:30PM. Starts 7PM. @ Señor Fish, 422 E. 1st St. in Little Tokyo/next to downtown OR 1st & Alameda) Also, better directions for free parking!

2) Give thanks that you don’t have to find all these great shows for tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL. Go to Nobody Likes Onions @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., Come Out Laughing @ The Long Beach Laugh Factory 8PM $12/2 drink min., Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM $8, Beer in the Shower: Pilgrims & Indians-Potluck/Stand-up @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9PM FREE, Comedy Juice @ The Hollywood Improv (yeah, I’d actually go to this one).

3) OPEN MIC RUN: HOLLYWOOD STUDIO BAR & GRILL 6122 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA Sign-up 5:30PM/Starts 6PM, LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Big Papa’s)/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Like I always have promised, I bring you the best in LA Comedy and now I’m making it even easier to find it on this blog. The Comedy Bureau now introduces “Bureau Approved”, which everything that pasts the rigorous test (i.e. whether I like it or not) of the Comedy Bureau Comedy Standards and features anything from podcasts to webseries to blog posts to clips of people being on the tube. Check it out here.

5) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to JAMIE LEE-@thejamielee Tofurkey? Tofuck yourself. Having already been on Last Comic Standing this year, Jamie has been a real gift to LA Comedy this year during her stay in LA (OK, she’s a NYC comic, but, for now is calling LA her home). Currently, she brings her sharp, witty, and charming comedy to homes around America writing for “Ridiculousness” on MTV and can be seen LIVE on “Crash Test” @ The UCB Theatre 11PM Mon. Nov. 29th and the “Conan Showcase” @ The Hollywood Improv 10PM Tues. Nov. 30th. Here’s her website and her twitter for all the Jamie Lee you can possibly handle… and then some.

6) The Comedy Bureau adds yet another rank to its Chain of Command: Head of Karma Police Russell Corona (don’t worry he can’t actually do anything to anyone). Welcome to the Comedy Bureau, Russell.

7) If you have any suggestions, comments, remarks, just want to say Hi to make sure that I’m still doing OK, etc. for the Comedy Bureau, there is an e-mail that you can send them to at thecomedybureau@gmail.com. So simple that you almost don’t have a reason not to do it.

7) Does the Salvation Army do anything for LA Comedy? I don’t THINK SO! Donate to the Comedy Bureau here.

8) If you’ve ever wondered what a comic thinks while going from open mics to shows to coffee shops and bars to various streets to get/write material, follow the Comedy Bureau on Twitter here. I’m pretty sure a small minority only wonders that, but please “humor” me and do it.

9) Tomorrow will be the ONE MONTH mark that the Comedy Bureau has been officially running. I know it’s not “that” impressive, but I just want to thank everyone for has been following this blog/loving read it/supporting the Comedy Bureau/etc. and point out that, ironically, tomorrow has only one or two comedy events to write about. Thanks again everyone, comics and real people alike!!!

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1) Due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March 2011.

2) If you were able to make it to the 11 shows I posted yesterday, this should be a breeze, that is, if you killed you’re doppelganger clones. Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL: The Super Serious Show @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $15/Free Beer, then Jimmy Dore and Friends @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $12/2 drink min., then The Josh and Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, then Comedy Speakeasy @ TSR Lounge 8PM (call 323-568-1616 for details/to be in audience), then Comedy90210 @ Roxbury Cafe (459 N. Roxbury Dr., Beverly Hills, CA) 8PM $5, then The Joe Braza Comedy Invitational Finals @ The Seafood Shack 8:30PM FREE, then The Charlyne Yi Show (she was on Conan last week and I didn’t post it like I should have right here) @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5, then WTF? w/Greg Berman @ Flappers Burbank 10PM $12/2 drink min.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA 7PM, HOLLYWOOD HOTEL 1760 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA/7PM, CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM/$3 cover/10 min., SIPOLOGY 448 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 8PM/Must work clean and no material about religion or politics, TKO SHOW @ 212 CAFE 212 Pier Ave., Venice, CA 9PM, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 cover/multiple sets allowed.

4) The Comedy Bureau “Tips its Hat” to Aparna Nancherla today. @aparnapkin “found out that the sound of one hand clapping is me patting myself on the back. #selfcongratulatoryphilosophy” Follow her “musings and amusings” on Twitter here or her blog here.

5) Though Reggie Watts is mainly NYC performer, he’s in town for the week as shown here on Conan. His show at Largo is sold out tonight, but there is a large segment of the LA population that tends to flake out, so show up and maybe you’ll have a chance.

6) The Comedy Bureau would like to welcome a new member in its Chain of Command: Field Liaison Jeremy Paul. Let the title take you wherever you want it to, but Jeremy would like you to know that his dick stays hard and HE JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Once more, welcome to The Comedy Bureau, Jeremy Paul.

7) The Comedy Bureau is out and about in the best and worst of Los Angeles and the Greater LA Metropolitan Area to tell you good decent folk where to go and where to never ever even dream about going in LA Comedy. Find out what’s going on via LIVE TWEETING here.

8) Basically, if you’re not bent on world destruction or don’t think that Dane Cook is what smart comedy sounds like, you should donate to The Comedy Bureau, so we can make those two things never ever happen. Accomplish this right here.

9) Again, due to legal reasons, there will be something written here in March, perhaps a few weeks earlier for reasons I’m also legally not allowed to discuss.

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1) It’s a theory that the further you drive outside of Los Angeles proper, the more stage time you can get as a comedian. Cafe on 2nd in Alhambra gives more support to that argument as you are guaranteed at least 10 min. after $3 cover. Being a mixed mic, musicians and poets actually want to listen to your set as opposed to bitter comics trying to going over their set or figuring out a riff off of you. Though I had to pay $3 and had to drive to Alhambra, all the way in the heart of the San Gabriel Valley, I ended up getting 15 min., which is indispensable to building an act/developing stage presence/making sure you don’t bomb for 5 min. when it counts. Another “Bureau Approved Open Mic” Cafe on 2nd runs every Wed. and Thurs. Sign-up at 7PM. Starts at 7:30PM. $3 cover. 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA.

2) I don’t know why I’ve never been to Ed Galvez’s Punk House before, especially knowing that he puts up some of LA’s funniest on a stage in an alley behind the 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica. With Sean Green at the reins, Eli Olsberg, Mike Holmes, Josh Androsky, Matt Manser, Erin Crapser, Ed Galvez himself, and a surprise appearance by Geoff Brousseau made for a night way more entertaining that watching people argue with the Christian evangelist on the actual 3rd St. Promenade. Running for over 4 years, Punk House is a testament to legitimately hilarious comedy shows outside of the Hollywood trifecta of the Laugh Factory, Comedy Store, and the Hollywood Improv. Ed Galvez’s Punk House @ The Westside Comedy Theatre. 9PM Every Wednesday. $8. 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in the alley).

3) The comedy crawl has too much comedy tonight for a clever metaphor. There’s just not enough space in this post to tell you literally how much amazing, astounding, fantastic, phenomenal, stupefying live comedy there is tonight. That’s why I’ll get to it now, right after I finish typing this very sentence that you’re reading. Go to MB Stand Up @ Flappers Yoo Hoo Room 7:30PM $5/2 drink min., then Literally Funny @ The Last Bookstore 8PM FREE, then Piñata @ Bang Comedy Theatre 8PM. $14, then Comedy Speakeasy w/Eric Andre and Amy Dresner @ TSR Loft (call 323-568-1616 for details), then Laugh for Haiti @ The Comedy Store 8PM $25/2 item min., then Full Throttle Comedy @ The Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min., then As Seen on Chelsea Lately w/Ryan Stout & Christina Pazsitsky @ Brea Improv 8PM $15/2 item min., then The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE, then “That’s My Baby” @ Barre Vermont 9:30PM FREE., then Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ The UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5.

4) LA Comedian/a quarter of the Southern Comedy Quartet Jarrod Harris has a new webseries, Action Figure Therapy, which amazingly manages to be more therapeutic for anyone watching than the actual “action figure” supposedly getting therapy. Check it out here.

5) Donate. Please. Donate to support the Comedy Bureau. Please. Unfortunately, I don’t think Pavlovian response applies here, but please donate.

6) The Comedy Bureau Calendars freshly updated w/ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club, Bang Theatre, and Sal’s Comedy Hole. Doubt it? See for yourself.

7) Breaking news for the Big Trouble in Little Tokyo Open Mic. There will be a 50 ft. cable to walk around almost like it’s a wireless mic. Also, to kick off with a bang and a mic toss, there will be inaugural performances to the incomparable Joe Braza and Lauren Rochelle. Nov. 9th. 6:30PM. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA

8) I think there’s a PG way to go about suicide jokes. There better be… BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE!!!

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